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Quantum Caption Contest


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#1 Editor

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 03:18 AM

This month's caption contest is brought to you by Quantum Sail Design Group. (No these aren't Quantum Sails!). Quantum has some great prizes for the best three captions so have at it! Thanks to Guilain Grenier for the photo.

06/06/06

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#2 On The Pionty End

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 03:25 AM

Dude, I told you we should have gone with Quantum!!!

#3 steveromagnino

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 03:26 AM

And we were ripping up the 470 nationals in first place on the final downwind leg, yada yada yada, my girlfriend is going to have to wait another year for that boob job.

#4 atwinda

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 03:26 AM

This month's caption contest is brought to you by Quantum Sail Design Group. (No these aren't Quantum Sails!). Quantum has some great prizes for the best three captions so have at it! Thanks to Guilain Grenier for the photo.

06/06/06


"can you at least trim what's left of the sail?"

"that was the practice kite, right?"

"HOW much does a new one cost!?"

"I told you that cloth felt too soft."

"sail the cloth?"

#5 sailingk8

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 03:28 AM

Oh hell, I told you the double D cup wouldn't hold!

#6 Town Drunk

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 03:31 AM

Uh, puff on...head down a bit.

#7 Madmax

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 03:32 AM

"Check out out the new Airhead chute!"

or

Skipper "Rip my head off?" "That beat was not that bad!"

#8 Bowgirl

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 03:33 AM

Now do you understand why I wanted you to bring your sewing kit?

#9 tweaker

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 03:42 AM

Dude I love these new tear-away disposable chutes! They come down so easy. No more repacking.

#10 basketcase

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 03:47 AM

is this is how you do a spin peel?

#11 Crouton

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 03:47 AM

Damn, our chute's gone Anna Nicole Smith on us...

#12 Terrorvision

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 03:49 AM

Gosh, I hope the guys from Sailing Anarchy don't see this! :ph34r:

What am I supposed to do when the shoulders collapse?

#13 glug

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 03:52 AM

Not too sure about this new outleader kite

#14 remmie

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 03:57 AM

Victoria Secret's inspiration for their maternity range.

#15 SailorPaul

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 03:59 AM

Are you SURE that Hong Kong sailmaker knew you were talking to someone else when you asked about a "pressure relief valve"?

#16 2XD

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 04:00 AM

i'm a glass is half full type of guy, sheet on !!

#17 kite

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 04:10 AM

"trim!"

"shutup and drive!"

#18 ipexnet

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 04:13 AM

North Sails has revolutionized sail design once again.
the brand new 1/2-1/2oz

#19 Teaky

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 04:15 AM

There's no "but we've only got half a kite" in T.E.A.M., so get on the wire.

#20 Goonda

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 04:22 AM

I guess luff tapes dont stick very well to scotch tape.

#21 foredeckhell

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 04:25 AM

dude wheres half my kite!?

#22 RumSponge

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 04:28 AM

Well.... Time to hit the bar!

#23 strbrdtckr

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 04:36 AM

Auto-reefing spinnaker, anyone?

#24 Hobbs

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 04:51 AM

Hull speed it is then!

#25 Chubby

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 04:54 AM

'Dont pull that rope again'

#26 barkingmad

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 04:57 AM

Bloody apprentice sailmakers! If I have told them once, I have told them a hundred times! The f*king window goes at the bottom!

#27 jfunk

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 05:04 AM

Cheap shopping bags!!! We should have double bagged it!

#28 BigUnit

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 05:07 AM

I ordered the window at the foot of the sail.

#29 Wattie

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 05:33 AM

For windy wellington sailing, the local 470 class association decided a new heavy air 4\7ths kite for the 470 would be best.

#30 AussieSailorChick

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 05:37 AM

"The way I see it - it will still get us back to the bar! The glass is half full!!!"

#31 gethighstayhigh

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 05:55 AM

Halterneck is all the rage this year.

#32 Danneskjold184

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 06:03 AM

My favorite phrase I have said the 3 times I have blown out chutes (which were directly my fault):


"Well... (5 second pause) Shit."

#33 tospappy

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 06:08 AM

I know you have allergies, but do think the whole boat needs a face mask?

#34 Phil

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 06:31 AM

I told you to order a blue and white one.If its good enough for Mal and Nath ,its good enough for us.

#35 Spiky

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 06:38 AM

Could you please reread the trimming guide about opening the slot?

#36 wilton

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 06:41 AM

the austrians experiment with the latest trend in "improved airflow" off the wind...

#37 BillJe

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 06:48 AM

Think anyone will notice?

#38 Derek Grebe

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 06:57 AM

Just three months later, 'quick-release' underwear was in full production thanks to an epiphany on the water.

Supplied with Port and Starboard ripstop tabs for rapid deployment in even the most crowded nightclubs, the 'Air-Gusset' was proving popular in many shore-side watering holes.

#39 Yag

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 07:04 AM

"Time for the masthead kite..."

#40 DeadFuckingLast

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 07:26 AM

Introducing the new 470 depower-tool.
Crew: "Hold it there - I can handle the pressure now."

#41 StevenRolland

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 07:35 AM

I tell you, there will be a lot less healing on the reach.

#42 LakeMIsailor

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 07:36 AM

I guess Anna Nichole will get a new g-string

#43 T-bird

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 07:38 AM

Skipper, we have got another "cheap, slightly used" kite for sale..

So it was THAT those anarchists messed with in our trailer.

Skipper, this kite dont suck like it should do.

Skipper, got a plan B?

#44 Islandgirl

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 07:40 AM

" My wife is going to kill me - they were her best knickers!!!"

#45 Presuming Ed

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 07:42 AM

"Uh, skipper, I'm not sure going to La Perla for the spinnaker was such a great plan. I'm unconvinced by this new half-cup DD cut"

#46 Corey

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 08:25 AM

Um, maybe we need to re-think the .1 oz kite idea.

#47 Shipstores

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 08:45 AM

"Gust in 3, 2, 1..."

#48 FearBiter

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 09:03 AM

" GESUNDHEIT !!! "

#49 Cionn

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 09:28 AM

D'oh same thing happened last night with the girlfriend

#50 Left Coast

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 09:31 AM

well, we forgot to tape that cotter pin!...

#51 offshoretiger

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 09:40 AM

Pole down a bit. Uh........... never mind

#52 snorky

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 09:52 AM

Crew to helm "keep pulling, eventually the watertight compartments will open, then we'll get picked up by a VOR 70"....

Helm to Crew.."just make sure you don't tell no fucker"

As

:P

#53 MxThomas

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 09:56 AM

I see, that's what the sailmaker meant by: " the kite will shed power on top in the gusts."

#54 sailing punk

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 10:08 AM

"New demo kite for the 470 class relesed to day! comes with the new invisabul head panles".......... arrrr there not invisabul mate!

#55 sailing punk

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 10:13 AM

oo mate, nice new kite, i like the speed hole!

#56 Tugboat

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 10:23 AM

Diggity, diggity... it's just like peeling panties!

#57 bowmonkeynuts

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 10:29 AM

Dude our home made parasail kites gone wrong

Posted Image

#58 Dogfish4255

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 10:32 AM

"Man, you clearly can't trim a kite to save your ass. The pole clearly has to go down about at least an inch or two . . . "

#59 IrieMon

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 10:58 AM

"The Pamela Anderson"

#60 skiffboy

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 10:59 AM

Right - put up the womper!

#61 skiffboy

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 11:03 AM

famous last words - ony a little tear, it'll hold

skipper - dude, what did you eat last night?

hmm that looks pretty good with a blue panel there, what do you think of blue? you like blue? ok we'll go blue.

#62 Azzurri505

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 11:14 AM

Damn weve done a Pirates of the Caribbean

#63 Islandgirl

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 11:19 AM

" I told you we should have made more sacrifices to the Gods of the Stormy Dark last night, but oh no, you wanted a Vodka Martini - shaken, not stirred - well shake this you James Bond wannabe %)&*&%^^&(%%£)_(*& "

#64 CaptKen

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 11:50 AM

I was told this race weekend is famous for it's topless participants, this is not what I had in mind!

#65 Kite man

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 11:53 AM

1) That's the wrong kite! The overhead kite is in the other turtle. Now we have two Kites and next time don't use the pole.

2) Look it's a Maxi pad with no wings!

#66 box

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 12:11 PM

After mastering canting keel techology and a stellar performance in the VOR, Farr Yacht Design has expanded business into the sail design world. Look for the latest designs at a regatta near you.

#67 bowmonkeynuts

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 12:22 PM

Damn IKEA, why is there always something missing from the box

#68 Saltfish2

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 12:32 PM

But it has zero tip vortex....

#69 Blinder

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 12:35 PM

Have you seen my Leatherman? I'm sure I left it in the spinnaker turtle.

#70 Roadie

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 01:06 PM

I thought you said we had an all white chute

#71 misthos

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 01:06 PM

Your resume said you had extensive sail repair experience. You have 10 minutes from the mark.

#72 Roadie

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 01:08 PM

I can't seem to get the top of the chute to fill

#73 The Condor

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 01:08 PM

Bloody apprentice sailmakers! If I have told them once, I have told them a hundred times! The f*king window goes at the bottom!


The winner!

#74 klury

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 01:13 PM

Skipper: $20 bucks if you can bullshit your way through this one in the bar asshole.



For those of you who don't know, this is a reverse "Atomic Wedgie"

#75 eclipse5499

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 01:14 PM

I told you not to pack your mamma's thong!

#76 joydot

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 01:15 PM

"This is the last downwind leg of the day, right?
Otherwise, this Is the last downwind leg of the day..."

#77 Hammer

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 01:16 PM

"470... I told you it was a girls boat, full of strippers"

#78 joydot

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 01:16 PM

"I've got good pressure, good pressure...uh...No, I don't."

#79 snipelee

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 01:22 PM

Head up? Head gone!

#80 Buford

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 01:31 PM

Fly the cloth! Fly the cloth!

No you idiots, not the friggin' table cloth.

#81 roshambo

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 01:36 PM

guy trimming is thinking "mmm... thong panties"

#82 Bowgirl

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 01:40 PM

Hey, you said the wind was better closer to the water ... I'm just trying to get it!

#83 Bodhi22

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 01:40 PM

Doctor, you're needed in surgery.

#84 Shaggy

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 02:01 PM

Fuck, The fucking fucker is fucked, get that fucker down u fuck.......

Shag

#85 Rum Runner

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 02:01 PM

Nothing a little duct tape can't fix.

#86 TheBoathouse

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 02:13 PM

Two days after all the crews put up the 700 Euro "damage deposit" at the World Sailing Games for the provided boats and sails Olimpic Sails passed out the "fine Print"

!!! WARNING: our top performing spinnakers are made of POLYESTER fabrics, which gives the highest performance being stiffer than commonly used Nylons. This allows the transmission of power to the boat earlier. Whilst the elasticity of Nylon has the effect of “absorbing part of the power”. POLYESTER spinnakers are VERY FRAGILE especially, when BRAND NEW. You should use them with all possible CARE and protect them from all sharp parts of your boat, including the Jib clew, the sail-bag, etc. After some use the polyester looses some of the finishing coat, making it slightly more elastic, therefore less easy to break.

(this is actually what happened and several teams ended up eating a lot of euros :( )

#87 Giddy Up

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 02:24 PM

What d'ya mean you boned up whilst sleeping in the chute last night!?
:P

#88 PDG

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 02:30 PM

The new Wicked Weasel inspired line of sails; The Camel Toe.....Order yours now and avoid the rush.

#89 WORM BURNER

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 02:35 PM

WARNING TO ALL SAILORS: This is what happens when you hold the last 25% payment from your sail order

#90 ease hike trim

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 02:40 PM

"...something doesn't feel right. Slide aft a bit."

#91 prettyfly626

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 02:43 PM

"Holy Shoot"

Skipper to crew:" Have you lost your head man!!!, that is slowing us down" crew:" But the NorthSails tuning guide said this might make us fast...."

#92 mcscw

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 03:27 PM

Skipper: Let the chute breathe!

Crew: Uh, no problem!!

#93 ExOmo

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 03:34 PM

I'm telling you those fuckers over at North don't know what their talking about!

#94 Saltwater Cowboy

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 03:34 PM

"You were supposed to anticipate the shift."

#95 J.P.

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 03:36 PM

...What noise?

#96 Al Bundy

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 03:41 PM

So, do you think the pole is too high?

I’m not sure if this NOoz. head is doing anything for us.

Sail maker – “Trust me. The new turbulator slot technology is f’n fast! You’ll see when you set it.”

#97 Aperson

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 04:00 PM

The wind gods didn't like your stitch or glue job.

#98 OnlyWookiesAreTrulyFree

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 04:01 PM

Worst Regatta EVER! First my condom, now this...

#99 Hughie

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 04:27 PM

Have you paid for this one yet? .... Nope

#100 Prouda my Pickle Dish

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 04:41 PM

I think I better call Mark and put a rush on the new kite order.




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