96 replies to this topic

[Trovão]

1. Don’t go frequently to your club and when you go, look for anything to complain about.

2. Whenever you take part on any event at the club, try to find fails from the organizers.

3. Never accept a duty from the club – remember: it’s easier to complain then to help or make something happen.

4. If the board asks your opinion on any matter, answer you have no comments to make and then go to the bar and start talking about how things should be done.

5. Do only the strictly necessary to the club and start gossiping about how this little group is taking control of the club.

6. Never read the emails, newsletter and notices from the club, there is seldom anything interesting or important on them. If asked about, complain you did not receive them.

7. If invited for any position on the board, refuse alleging lack of time, business commitments, family, etc. And afterwards start complaining about how it’s always the same people that occupies the board seats.

8. Whenever you happen to have any problem with some board member, take revenge on the club. Sue them, send threatening letters and emails, etc.

9. Suggest, insist that the club holds more events, but when they happen do not go.

10. If the board doesn’t guess your points of view, spread the news that they ignore your ideas.

11. And after all your “spontaneous cooperation”, when there are no more events, newsletters, meetings, leisure and any other activities, when the club is practically “dead”, you can say, proud and loud, “didn’t I tell you?”.

[MacGregor_Lover]

Don't forget to pay your dues late.

[KRC]

12. Close down the bar.


Outta curiosity, any backstory to all this?

[DoRag]

12. Encourage power boaters to join.

[Trovão]

12. Encourage power boaters to join.

perrrrfekt.

[Trovão]

12. Close down the bar.


Outta curiosity, any backstory to all this?

no. at leat not personal. read it here, found it interesting, translated it into english and posted it here.

[jsmin]

don't forget - have a big restaurant that sucks the budget down every year

[dopo]

12: naked sailing

[B.J. Porter]

12: naked sailing

You don't know what our board looks like...

[brown scented bilgewax]

Sure... might work if you wanna kill it slow. But if you really want to kill your club quick, not many better, faster ways than "Free Cocaine and Kiddie Porn Night" in the main dining room.

[andyxs]

Unfortunatly fucktards like this are part of the problem with clubs, every club has a few but as long as they pay dues they are easy to ignore and a good source of income. As for the powerboaters, as long as they pay and put money over the bar they can stay, if they arnt to anoying. everything is comercial and all about money, more people pay= more club equipment. id be more inclined to complain bout the members that are offered club positions, spout loadso bull bout improvements hard work etc thus getting positions THEN complain bout work commitments family etc and do sweet fa. THAT pisses me off.

[andyxs]

Unfortunatly fucktards like this are part of the problem with clubs, every club has a few but as long as they pay dues they are easy to ignore and a good source of income. As for the powerboaters, as long as they pay and put money over the bar they can stay, if they arnt to anoying. everything is comercial and all about money, more people pay= more club equipment.
id be more inclined to complain bout the members that are offered club positions, spout loadso bull bout improvements hard work etc thus getting positions THEN complain bout work commitments family etc and do sweet fa. THAT pisses me off.

[Vang Tang]

13) Yell at junior sailors who have infuental parents

14) Disallow the use of restrooms to the community sailing program unless accompanied by a "club member"

15) Make your parking lot a "member only parking lot" and tow any guests vehicles who don't have a sticker.

[KU-3]

Are you saying people who only want to pay their dues and just show up to race are poop tards bringing down a club? What if they are very thankful and appreciative, and have no desire to participate otherwise?

[Barkley]

Are you saying people who only want to pay their dues and just show up to race are poop tards bringing down a club? What if they are very thankful and appreciative, and have no desire to participate otherwise?

Depends on the format of the club. If the club expects help because they are trying to keep fees low, then paying your dues with gratitude isn't enough.

[sail2win]

17. Insist that the best way to attract more members is to build a pool. Use reserve funds to build pool in advance of any new members, then blame poor upkeep resulting from lack of funds as the reason no new members join.

[I'moutahere]

It's simple ..... YOU are the club.

[wolfesail]

Our club is competing with three other organizations' racing programs and our numbers have dwindled. Although our club membership and cruising programs are very strong. Being just a hack racer, what makes a successful race program? And what would make you leave one program for another?

[Randall Flagg]

17. Insist that the best way to attract more members is to build a pool. Use reserve funds to build pool in advance of any new members, then blame poor upkeep resulting from lack of funds as the reason no new members join.

Ah... the pool. That will do it every time.

[dyslexic dog]

I have to say, being an ex board member, our club with pool and resturarant/bar has been in the black and well run for years. Slips are full, (no waiting list this year for the first time). I agree with what is being said, but some of the comments are off base. Most are right on the money though. The way to cure it is to have good people in the right places. Easier said then done.

[B.J. Porter]

I have to say, being an ex board member, our club with pool and resturarant/bar has been in the black and well run for years. Slips are full, (no waiting list this year for the first time). I agree with what is being said, but some of the comments are off base. Most are right on the money though. The way to cure it is to have good people in the right places. Easier said then done.

We have a LOOONG slip waiting list.

The running joke is they should post the slip assignment and waiting list on the wall next to the new defibrillator. You know...anything to shorten the wait.

[bye bye]

18. confuse the running of the the club with the running of your business

19. only acknowledge the services provided that you personally use, attempt at all times to have anything else stopped as 'a waste of membership fees'

20. insist on a dress code

21. "every one should be sailing X" (the OD day boat/day cruiser class at the club)

[Sails with Wheels]

Nobody has mentioned "Install poker machines"

Although that only kills the sailing program, not the club.

[Walrus]

Fill your club marina with boats that move once every Two years. Fill your membership lists with people who only come to the club once a year to see if their boat is still there. Ignore the contribution made by volunteers. Suck up to sponsors and ignore members. Treat visitors and guests as a food source....

[Roadie]

13) Yell at junior sailors who have infuental parents

14) Disallow the use of restrooms to the community sailing program unless accompanied by a "club member"

15) Make your parking lot a "member only parking lot" and tow any guests vehicles who don't have a sticker.

You must be a member of my club......

[OceanBien]

Install tennis courts...

[bugger]

XX. When members come out to volunteer / help / assist with the latest project, treat them horribly and don't bother thanking them.

[C Koch]

15) Make your parking lot a "member only parking lot" and tow any guests vehicles who don't have a sticker.

We've got just the opposite problem. We have very limited parking, and it's supposed to be for members only. But on most summer weekends, you can find half a dozen or more cars lacking a permit. It can be a problem when the lot fills up and paying members can't find a place to put their car. But the club hardly ever tows anyone.

BTW, our club is an informal, all-volunteer club. Stick has been on the board for years and puts in enough volunteer hours for the both of us many times over. He got his position after he fixed all the broken plumbing one spring and provided some constructive feedback about the suboptimal decommissioning job someone else had done the prior fall.

[DoRag]

16. Designate a significant amount of your limited parking spaces as reserved for the Officers, key employess, past Commodores, the CFO and last years club champion.

[Sailor_Joe]

Ask the folks at Knickerbocker YC. They did a fine job of killing that club and running it into the ground.

I hear the property is up for sale and some developer wants to put in condos.

[dde]

13. Ditch sailing programs for kids and become a Macgregor fleet
14. Lease your clubhouse to pimps
15. Don't mow the lawn

[kent_island_sailor]

Fixed that for you

13. Ditch sailing programs for kids and become a Macgregor fleet
14. Lease your clubhouse to pimps
15. Don't mow the lawn

[Lazy Guy]

Give Clean an Honorary membership

[Ike Scott]

Quit.

Join SAYC and race under it's burgee.

[Skull & Bones]

Have only one sailing class, pick a fucking slow ass worthless design for it like a Yingling, and watch it die slowly

[Life Buoy 15]

241/ Make kids sail oppi's

242/ Encourage team’s racing instead of fleet racing

243/ Make all offshore races cat 2

[epoxymoron]

21. Harrass the waitress' who file will sexual harrassment charges then buy them off with cash from the general fund and spend tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees to eject the culprit(s) insteas of having him shot. Compounded by incompetant board members who fucked up the insurance claim so the whole amount must be paid cash. Then blame it on the food nad beverage service.

Welcome to Bay City, MI.

[MikeC]

Ask the folks at Knickerbocker YC. They did a fine job of killing that club and running it into the ground.

I hear the property is up for sale and some developer wants to put in condos.

I think the developer is Schefer or Raskin.

Gee, it has been said before, but if you count the number of members that have left Knickerbocker because of Lager, Lengton and Kass, you would fill the membership roster and any other club. It is a triad of people that used the club for there personal gain. On the flip side, selling the club will be giving them the biggest earning year any of the three have had in a long time.

[eclipse5499]

Clubs are a living, breathing entity. And they are only as good as the people that comprise them. In any club with a decent sized membership, there are always a group of douche bags, but hopefully, it is proportionally small. I know that most of the members at my club, would bleed for it. We may not always see eye-to-eye, but in the end we know that each one of us are there for the right reasons.

Now with that said, it is always the squeaky wheel we hear.

Keep on keeping on.

[jesposito]

The main thing that can kill a yacht club is to put a 40 ft boat moored right off the dock with STARSHIP ENTERPISE written down eac side from bow to stern

[glexpress]

22) Shit on the coats

[fatdaddy]

Let only old has beens or never were's run the club, that bitch about
kids in the club house. I left ours this year because they only wanted
my sons for trash detail and never wanted to support kids out sailing
unless they were on their boat. it sucks for the has beens when two
kids come out on a borrowed j24 with old blown out dacron sails and
kick their ass. old has beens then took control of the boats so they
could save face against kids. really happened last year in a rookie race
we sent up for new racer's my son's borrowed a j24 and got beat
because the old guys got tired of watching them out sail the other
rookie boats and took over their boats to beat them.

FD

[MikeC]

The main thing that can kill a yacht club is to put a 40 ft boat moored right off the dock with STARSHIP ENTERPISE written down eac side from bow to stern

Is that what that is, I just thought it was a giant dick graphic

[jesposito]

The main thing that can kill a yacht club is to put a 40 ft boat moored right off the dock with STARSHIP ENTERPISE written down eac side from bow to stern

Is that what that is, I just thought it was a giant dick graphic

That, and the guy behind the wheel

[MikeC]

The main thing that can kill a yacht club is to put a 40 ft boat moored right off the dock with STARSHIP ENTERPISE written down eac side from bow to stern

Is that what that is, I just thought it was a giant dick graphic

That, and the guy behind the wheel

What was his childhood like to grow up to become Edwierd. Is the rumor true they used to beat him up in Port Washington.

[Canal Bottom]

Continue to permit smoking in 2009....

[TonkaToy]

24. Remove any aspects of "boating", "yachting", "sailing", or any other marine-oriented activity from the club agenda.

25. Do everything possible to dissuade younger folks / families from joining.(PIYC: TAKE NOTICE!!!!)

TT

[eclipse5499]

Continue to permit smoking in 2009....

Wow, perfect timing. My club is finally getting rid of smoking this year.

[sailing_bitch]

28. Dig up the grass out the front of the club and put in concrete.

29. Invite the commodores missus to any function, watch her get pissed and start abusing everyone.

[Catalina 36]

I've never joined a Yacht Club (at least not the kind that has its own facilites). The points folks have raised are pretty much the reasons I have avoided joining. One club I was a frequent guest at was exactly the type of club I'd like to join, but it was so far away from my home, I was reluctant to commit to a long term commitment. That club was exclusively sailboats, had an extensive youth sailing program (I don't have kids but like that anyway), a big boat racing program, a cruising program and very nice facilites including a pool.

The club closest to me despite its really nice facilites suffers from many of the maladies listed in this thread, with about 2/3's of the fleet being powerboats, no racing, but a cruising program. I'm not sure how a crusing program where most of the boats do 17+ knots and a few do 7 knots would work out too well. Moreover, on my visits, I formed the impression the club was a haughty version of the "Dew Drop Inn" where everyone hung out at the club bar all weekend then maybe went down and looked at their boat. If I was the type to hang out at bars all weekend I could do it much closer to home and save a lot of money and effort by not having a boat. It was just not very appealing to me, especially after having seen the other club that offered so much more for sailors.

Different strokes for different folks though since some people really are looking for a social outlet and place less emphisis on the sailing aspects.

[sucky bus]

Sailing / Yacht clubs are about bum on seats.. so to speak.

From my experience in business, never let a fucking lawyer or braindead beancounter near the leadership group, else will raise the prices and sink it..

Get a few entrepreneurial biz folk in to get your cub involved with the schools, get your races near viewing spots along the coast, engage with the local community etc etc..

Not hard really but so many folk are up themselves.. or are lawyering cunts it ain't worth the effort

[angles]

Invite ToRag to join.

[Black Jack]

Encourage and invite the Elks club to operate and control yacht club buildings and marina harbor.

[Caca Cabeza]

Same drunks at the bar as 20 years ago

[rastus]

I need to print this thread and post it on the noticeboard at my club

[Sublime]

Stand on shore and scream at the junior racers about what they're doing wrong. They can't hear you but everyone else can and will have warm fuzzy feelings about your club.

[auscat]

Get yourself elected commodore then change the handicaps after the racing so you win every thing.

[sunseeker]

Keep up the tradition of having officers wear those dorky custumes from the royal navy back in the 1800's.

[dacapo]

Find a way to stay on the Board of Trustees (or whatever each particular club has) so that things won't change from how you remember them from the "good ole days"...

[jerseyguy]

Same drunks at the bar as 20 years ago

Telling the same stories they told 20 years ago.

[sunseeker]

Same drunks at the bar as 20 years ago

Telling the same stories they told 20 years ago.

Talking about the same chicks they almost did 40 years ago.

[I'moutahere]

Same drunks at the bar as 20 years ago

Telling the same stories they told 20 years ago.

Talking about the same chicks they almost did 40 years ago.

and spending more money at the club bar than they did 20 years ago.

[dog of war]

1333813262[/url]' post='3662619']
Same drunks at the bar as 20 years ago

No I'm not!!!!!!

[I'moutahere]

Same drunks at the bar as 20 years ago

Telling the same stories they told 20 years ago.

Talking about the same chicks they did 40 years ago.

and spending more money at the club bar than they did 20 years ago.

I forgot to add ---- those chicks were probably your mothers.

[sunseeker]

One sure way to screw up a club is let in an old Aussie who only wants to complain about the way he thinks Americans are freeloaders.

[I'moutahere]

One sure way to screw up a club is let in an old Aussie who only wants to complain about the way he thinks Americans are freeloaders.

Just an observation, and from your reaction, probably correct. At least I belong to a yacht club.

[sunseeker]

Glad you belong to a club. So do I. Btw, your reading comprehension sucks. I said those crusty old dudes at the bar were talking about chicks they ALMOST did 40 years ago. Now go complain about something in Australia.

[I'moutahere]

Glad you belong to a club. So do I. Btw, your reading comprehension sucks. I said those crusty old dudes at the bar were talking about chicks they ALMOST did 40 years ago. Now go complain about something in Australia.

And I corrected your post with something nearer the truth. Looks like the truth hurts. Too close to home eh?

[jerseyguy]

Same drunks at the bar as 20 years ago

Telling the same stories they told 20 years ago.

Talking about the same chicks they almost did 40 years ago.

and spending more money at the club bar than they did 20 years ago.

Some of those folks spend more money at the bar in a month than my car payment

[eric e]

Same drunks at the bar as 20 years ago

Telling the same stories they told 20 years ago.

Talking about the same chicks they almost did 40 years ago.

and spending more money at the club bar than they did 20 years ago.

Some of those folks spend more money at the bar in a month than my car payment

but if they are socially awkward fucktards

who seem to exist only to harass and argue

they will still be pure poison for new members

[eric e]

Same drunks at the bar as 20 years ago

Telling the same stories they told 20 years ago.

Talking about the same chicks they almost did 40 years ago.

and spending more money at the club bar than they did 20 years ago.

Some of those folks spend more money at the bar in a month than my car payment

but if they are socially awkward fucktards

who seem to exist only to harass and argue

they will still be pure poison to many new members

and hence the clubs future

[the_abandoned_brane]

harass a visitor because he got too drunk to make it back to the mens room so he decided to water the bushes.

[amro]

have weddings take priority over yachting

[Squalamax]

Install new fences, landscaping and elevator instead of installing a (new donated) 3 ton lift(to replace the one that can barely lift a J24)

[Snaggletooth]

and spending more money at the club bar than they did 20 years ago.

Some of those folks spend more money at the bar in a month than my car payment

but if they are socially awkward fucktards

who seem to exist only to harass and argue

they will still be pure poison for new members

Thate fomulare seenes to worke heare..... juste sayen

[osage]

...What's a "Yacht Club"? Is it one of those racially polarized by invitation only orgs for Yang Yang MFers?

[Rapscallion]

Get yourself elected commodore then change the handicaps after the racing so you win every thing.

Wait... Commodores can change ratings? and they get a parking spot?

[us7070]

I don't think I want to be in the same club with any of you guys...

So what if the officers put on funny coat three or four times a year?

That ruins your day?

When I see the old guys at the bar..., i usually go over and say hello.

they often have interesting things to say..., and if they don't..., so what? it's no great trouble to me.

I guess you all think they should be kicked out.

My yacht club has a pool, tennis courts, and a dining room..., it seems to work fine for the members.

If you don't want a club with those things - fine! don't join one!

Why do you think it's up to you to tell everyone else how to run their clubs?

Am I trying to tell you how to run your club?

[PurpleOnion]

I don't think I want to be in the same club with any of you guys...

So what if the officers put on funny coat three or four times a year?

That ruins your day?

When I see the old guys at the bar..., i usually go over and say hello.

they often have interesting things to say..., and if they don't..., so what? it's no great trouble to me.

I guess you all think they should be kicked out.

My yacht club has a pool, tennis courts, and a dining room..., it seems to work fine for the members.

If you don't want a club with those things - fine! don't join one!

Why do you think it's up to you to tell everyone else how to run their clubs?

Am I trying to tell you how to run your club?

Shame on you for injecting rationality into a discussion where people are complaining about other people being narrow minded. (Where narrow minded means not sharing the same views and priorities as the poster)

[NorCalLaser]

have weddings take priority over yachting

they getting married in a prime patch of water where races are normally held?

would the revenue from the wedding allow the club to continue to host races and provide for the members and contribute to upkeep, etc?

[Rapscallion]

I don't think I want to be in the same club with any of you guys...

So what if the officers put on funny coat three or four times a year?

That ruins your day?

When I see the old guys at the bar..., i usually go over and say hello.

they often have interesting things to say..., and if they don't..., so what? it's no great trouble to me.

I guess you all think they should be kicked out.

My yacht club has a pool, tennis courts, and a dining room..., it seems to work fine for the members.

If you don't want a club with those things - fine! don't join one!

Why do you think it's up to you to tell everyone else how to run their clubs?

Am I trying to tell you how to run your club?

Shame on you for injecting rationality into a discussion where people are complaining about other people being narrow minded. (Where narrow minded means not sharing the same views and priorities as the poster)

YES! Intolerance will not be tolerated around here! Because by definition, Intolerance is in fact intolerable.

[Blow the guy 1]

harass a visitor because he got too drunk to make it back to the mens room so he decided to water the bushes.

Speaking from personal experience?

[Blow the guy 1]

I need to print this thread and post it on the noticeboard at my club

Yeah. Greatest thread ever!

[amro]

have weddings take priority over yachting

they getting married in a prime patch of water where races are normally held?

would the revenue from the wedding allow the club to continue to host races and provide for the members and contribute to upkeep, etc?

the emphasis is on catering revenue and club profit, not improve regatta hosting.

$14 for a costco burger after wednesday nite racing is absurd.

[aquila]

have weddings take priority over yachting

they getting married in a prime patch of water where races are normally held?

would the revenue from the wedding allow the club to continue to host races and provide for the members and contribute to upkeep, etc?

no obviosly, but when you get back to the club after the racing the bar has been closed off as has the bbq area with all its seating leaving you to order you drinks through a small window and then stand around in the carpark. or just go home and not renew ur membership like i did.


actually one of the best clubs i was ever involved in was nothing more than a tin shed to keep a firdge in and a place to store the bbq, it was 20m away from the water and fees were cheap (most went to pay public liability insurance etc)
first boat in started the bbq, if only it wasn't so far away

[PurpleOnion]

have weddings take priority over yachting

they getting married in a prime patch of water where races are normally held?

would the revenue from the wedding allow the club to continue to host races and provide for the members and contribute to upkeep, etc?

no obviosly, but when you get back to the club after the racing the bar has been closed off as has the bbq area with all its seating leaving you to order you drinks through a small window and then stand around in the carpark. or just go home and not renew ur membership like i did.


actually one of the best clubs i was ever involved in was nothing more than a tin shed to keep a firdge in and a place to store the bbq, it was 20m away from the water and fees were cheap (most went to pay public liability insurance etc)
first boat in started the bbq, if only it wasn't so far away

I've spent some time at a club with a similar setup. Amazingly, humans have a way of mucking up even that simple formula. That club had its share of stupid, childish quarrels, petty politics over trivia, whining about which beer was in the fridge, etc.

[n0w0rries]

Or how about letting members without boats on the board?

[DoRag]

Or how about letting members without boats on the board?

That's a good one - is a Duffy a boat?

[Ken S]

12 . Don't allow a world renowned photographer in a media boat for a major event !

[Snaggletooth]

12 . Don't allow a world renowned photographer in a media boat for a major event !

wowe! Howe dide we misse thisse oune foure so loungue?

[auscat]

Get yourself elected commodore then change the handicaps after the racing so you win every thing.

Wait... Commodores can change ratings? and they get a parking spot?

They can even have starts postponed when they're running late.

[Rapscallion]

Seriously? I suddenly want to be a commadore!

[jarcher]

Wow, this shit works for killing yacht clubs too? I thought this stuff would only work in gun and ham radio clubs...

[Rapscallion]

Ham radio clubs? What in the Sam hell is a ham radio? Sounds yummy. Is that like the civil war reenactors or the beeper/typewriter/faxmachine guild?

[Snaggletooth]

I was thicking his talking abote three clubbes, gun clube, ham clubbe, raido clubbe. Rite or no?

[aus2479]

Surely random breath testing kIlled many a yacht club.

13. Get an obnoxious sailing manager who gets 50% of members offside

[angles]

Sack the best sailing office staff member so he goes to another club where he is appreciated.