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#1 Editor

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 05:38 AM

This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!

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#2 Tysk

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 05:50 AM

No really it's faster... It breaks up the laminar flow.

#3 eric e

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 05:54 AM

no of course i don't touch my bottom

it's dirty!

#4 avengerrpm

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 05:54 AM

Hell yes! Working for that local seafood company is gonna pay off better than I thought!!

#5 skierdude585

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 05:59 AM

Owner: if a little slime on your bottom is fast, alot must be faster!!!

#6 familysailor

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 06:04 AM

Has anyone put the class template on that yet?

#7 Somebody Else

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 06:25 AM

It certainly must belong to this guy!

Posted Image

#8 t.rex

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 06:25 AM

Hauled out in Barcelona for a Gaudý bottom job.

#9 CazzaRanda

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 06:26 AM

how does it rate?

#10 beaconhood

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 06:28 AM

I told you it wasn't the rig!!!!

#11 DKMS

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 06:34 AM

Husband to wife "You know that dinning set you made me buy, well geuss where i scrimped the money to afford it. Heres a bucket....."

#12 nutz

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 06:37 AM

The growth got so bad a trailer was found growing as well.

#13 Derek Grebe

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 06:42 AM

methinks a verse or two of 'Barnacle Bill the Sailor' is in order

"Who's that knocking on my door? Who's that knocking on my door?
Who's that knocking on my door?" said the fair Young Maiden...

"It's only me from over the sea" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"It's only me from over the sea" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.


Alternate Responses:
"Fuck, open the door, you pox-ridden whore!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"Fuck, open the door, you pox-ridden whore!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"It's, me and my crew and we've come for a screw!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"It's, me and my crew and we've come for a screw!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"Open the door, you fucking whore" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"Open the door, you fucking whore" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"It's, me and I'm back from sea" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"It's, me and I'm back from sea" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"What if my parents come home? What if my parents come home?
What if my parents come home?" said the fair Young Maiden....

"I'll kill your pa and fuck your ma" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"I'll kill your pa and fuck your ma" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"Are you young and handsome, Sir? Are you young and handsome, Sir?"
Are you young and handsome, Sir?" said the fair Young Maiden.

"I'm old and rough and dirty and tough" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"I'm old and rough and dirty and tough" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"What is your intention, sir? What is your intention, sir?
What is your intention, sir?" said the fair Young Maiden.

"Oh, off with your shirt, so you doesn't get hurt!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"Oh, off with your shirt, so you doesn't get hurt!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"Will you take me to the dance? Will you take me to the dance?
Will you take me to the dance?" said the fair Young Maiden....

"To Hell with the dance! Now, off with your pants!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"To Hell with the dance! Now, off with your pants!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"Will you vow to marry me? Will you vow to marry me?
Will you vow to marry me?" said the fair Young Maiden....

"Hell no, we won't wed. Getcher ass in yon bed!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"Hell no, we won't wed. Getcher ass in yon bed!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"What's that thing between your legs?" What's that thing between your legs?
"What's that thing between your legs?" said the fair young maiden.

"It is me pole to stick in your hole," says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"It is me pole to stick in your hole," says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"What if I should have a child? What if I should have a child?
What if I should have a child?" said the fair Young Maiden.

"I'll open your crack, and shove it right back!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"I'll open your crack, and shove it right back!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.


Alternate Response:
"I'll kill the bugger and fuck for another!" says Barnicle Bill the Sailor.
"I'll kill the bugger and fuck for another!" says Barnicle Bill the Sailor.


"What if we should have a boy? What if we should have a boy?
What if we should have a boy?" said the fair Young Maiden.

"I'll take him to sea, teach him to fuck like me!
I'll take him to sea, teach him to fuck like me!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"What if we should have a girl? What if we should have a girl?
What if we should have a girl?" said the fair Young Maiden.

"I'll dig a ditch and bury the bitch!
I'll dig a ditch and bury the bitch!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"What if you should go to jail? What if you should go to jail?
What if you should go to jail?" said the fair young maiden.

"I'll swing me big balls, and knock down the walls!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

Alternate Responses:
"I'll pick the lock with me cock!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"I just got paid and I wanna get laid" said Barnacle Bill the sailor

#14 willsailforfood

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 06:42 AM

It's the new OD class legal keel shoe for a 36.7!

#15 Derek Grebe

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 06:44 AM

"I can't clean it just now, I've pulled a mussel.."

#16 Ralph M

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 06:46 AM

Yeah, it's is a hightec ship with winglets on the keel and very well maintained... only for you for a very reasonable price!

#17 Parson

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 06:47 AM

This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!


The best bait to use when fishing for muscles & Barncles for your seafood chowder? Why Beneteau Keel of Course!! :lol:

#18 MVS

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 06:50 AM

but the designer said it is supposed to be 2" deeper... It'll sail better

#19 Derek Grebe

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 06:50 AM

"a barnacle has the animal kingdom's largest penis in proportion to its body size, you know.
Get these fuckers horny, and this beast will foil, baby!"

#20 floating dutchman

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 06:52 AM

The bendytoy keel that stops Itself from falling off.

#21 supamaki

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 07:00 AM

"Part of the Ship, Part of the Crew"



Posted Image

#22 ClimbnSail

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 07:05 AM

For Sale: Beneteau 235 great sails, no leaks, great electronics, well maintained, hasn't been hauled in a couple of seasons, might need it in a year or so... taking offers, acccepting cash

#23 Kaneohe

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 07:06 AM

"That's no leaner, That's a tea bagger"

#24 mgosailing

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 07:13 AM

And the chef's special of the week is....

#25 ryerxaster29

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 07:19 AM

But we can't clean it off! Then we won't have any good boat speed excuses. :o

#26 farr ark

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 07:25 AM

But who is minding the mooring now??

#27 NoStrings

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 07:28 AM

You only have to floss the ones that you want to keep.

#28 rodlaser

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 07:36 AM

this is what you call oooorrrrrrganic

#29 SundancerKid

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 07:51 AM

Hey Skipper, was that you that sneezed?

#30 SundancerKid

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 07:53 AM

This Benetau's got BALLS.

#31 hoom

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 07:54 AM

"Meh, its a Beneslow, you realise its not going to go any faster if we clean that right?"

"Caught Out! Anarchist spots BMWO skin friction reduction test boat with its skirts down"

#32 Zebadee

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 07:54 AM

US Wildlife & Seafisheries:

Im afraid that as you have destroyed this beautiful and natural habitat we are going to have to press charges!
You can expect a minimum fine of $10,000 and potentially jail time too.

#33 superduperbow

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 07:58 AM

i told you predator wasn't dead!!!! the alien failed us all! now we are doomed! be ware of the Benetau Predator! this one is even fiercer then the regular predator!

#34 DeadFuckingLast

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 08:00 AM

IRC optimization just entered a new dimension.

#35 DeadFuckingLast

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 08:05 AM

Who Ya Gonna Call? Ghostbusters!

#36 waloo

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 08:08 AM

Keeler art.

#37 obelix

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 08:08 AM

This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!



Quick, someone call Chuck N for a visual interpretation!

#38 Watergumby

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 08:54 AM

news Flash....some original drawings of Ben Lexen's designs have been found in Sweden and on water testing is about to commence !

#39 swimalot

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 09:32 AM

thought all you little bastards swimin would give us a knot or 2 extra
not eat me f....n boat!!!!!!!

#40 akasideshow

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 09:49 AM

The apprentice enjoyed the walk to his first day working at the shipyard, although he wondered why his boss was laughed so much on the phone.

#41 ts091106

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 09:57 AM

Clearly there is no better place to experiment with nut sack stem cells.

#42 Kaptainkriz

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 10:02 AM

PHRF SEZ
Beneteau 235 (MOD): Base rating 201, laminar keel mod (-33sec/mi), New Rating 168.

No really it's faster... It breaks up the laminar flow.



#43 SailingClappers

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 10:14 AM

who needs keel bolts?

#44 34 South

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 10:20 AM

A graphic representation of the current state of the America's Cup

#45 b393capt

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 10:24 AM

"It's Alive"

#46 ElwoodBlues

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 10:35 AM

and kids, this is what happens to your dick when you mess around with those truck stop prostitutes......

#47 glowmaster

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 10:44 AM

that'll buff right out!

ed

#48 malaclemys

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 10:48 AM

Alinghi reveals new biological keel with pulsing invertebrate power, plans to file lawsuit as legal in AC under Deed of Gift.

#49 jlanc64

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 11:07 AM

Davey Jones - head shot

#50 dogdoo

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 11:10 AM

After the boat was hauled they celebrated their victory with several boxes of wine.

#51 Scars&Scrapes

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 11:11 AM

Ribbed for her pleasure

#52 DRIFTW00D

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 11:18 AM

Sir your New Boats ready to be picked up! Its a thing of BEAUTY and has that fast look of the future!

We gave her the latest in bottom treatments. She will never cleaning, polishing, scrubbing OR HAULING. We apply this stuff once, and its good for a life time. And it is the latest in Eco Friendly finishes. Plus the manufacture claims it will definitely lower your rating every year its on.

It is the best of both worlds really!! NO MAINTENANCE, ECO FRIENDLY! The only bottom job Green Peace, the Sierra Club, the Cousteau Society and the EPA have ever AGREED ON, APPROVED AND GUARANTEED to last, FOR EVER!

#53 redshield

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 11:29 AM

" Flying Dutchman optimised to race in Beneteau Cup"

#54 Joe Mama

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 11:31 AM

Nice dip, who brought the chips?

#55 Regatta Dog

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 11:57 AM

Stability in heavy air has never been easier. Introducing the Eco-Reefing SystemTM, from Beneteau.

#56 Yukon

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 12:03 PM

Scrap it
Dry it
Grind it
Roll it
Smoke it

Dude. . . we're fast.

#57 BVSailor

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 12:14 PM

I think I just saw Sponge Bob jump off that thing!

#58 KM14

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 12:15 PM

That Santa Barbara Syphilis strain is really affecting everything these days

#59 teleboxAUT118

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 12:22 PM

the smell, the bottom hairs and the look reminds me of a party during key west week years ago when bottom shaving was not invented yet...

#60 Mirage

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 12:27 PM

"The bottom is clean, nobody ever talks about keel cleaning, how was I supposed to know?"

#61 PurpleSnipe

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 12:28 PM

"Does this look infected to you...?"

#62 Kalumder

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 12:30 PM

Presenting BÚnÚteau "Coral Reef option" only 3459$ for the Oceanis line

Do you dream of sailing in new waters and experiencing the thrills of sailing, and the pleasure of coral reef diving? If you do than the newly introduced "coral reef option" is just what you are looking for. With the "coral reef option" for your Oceanis boat line you can now enjoy diving at a coral reef where ever you sail to. Now you don't have to sail to exotic places to enjoy coral reef diving, instead you can simply sail in your local area, anchor anywhere, put on your diving gear and voila! Enjoy the soothing and calming experience of coral reef diving, where ever you want, and when ever you want.

#63 PurpleSnipe

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 12:31 PM

"Don't worry Mate, a little Penicillin ought to do the trick..."

#64 Alibi

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 12:37 PM

"chowder power"

#65 Trippin

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 12:40 PM

But the man at Lowe's said that a Latex paint whould work. It's the new "Go Green" bottom paint.

#66 truehand

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 12:43 PM

"just ONE more post, THEN I'll go sailing"

#67 Regatta Dog

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 12:46 PM

I think I just saw Sponge Bob jump off that thing!


Posted Image

#68 Swell Guy

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 12:53 PM

This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!



That's GOOD Gah!

#69 Dark & Stupid

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 12:53 PM

Chuck Norris finally displays a "class legal" Benteau 36.7 keel.

#70 Black Sox

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 12:56 PM

An example of why you should never buy a boat that's been used in salt water.

#71 Swell Guy

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 12:57 PM

This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!



Ernesto, we have to do something about your hemorhoids... you can't keep holding on to them like your bad ideas!

#72 properslop

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 01:02 PM

the leaflets at the clinic had gotten a tad graphic lately!

#73 keel trimmer

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 01:04 PM

We were trying to grow a pair of balls......

#74 Guitar

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 01:15 PM

Yep, sorry, it is the swine flu.

#75 Zipped

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 01:17 PM

After years of searching, finally proof of Cthulhu's existence was found.

#76 Swell Guy

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 01:17 PM

This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!



Welcome to the set of Zombieland. Our first stop is at the craft table.

#77 moondawg

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 01:18 PM

No, really, its called organic fairing. Still working out some bugs in the system.

#78 moondawg

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 01:19 PM

I don't think this is what they mean by "attached flow".

#79 Dark & Stupid

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 01:21 PM

After the sinking of the Black Pearl - Bootstrap Bill found a new home on a BendyToe.

Posted Image

#80 Swell Guy

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 01:22 PM

This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!



Welcome to Discovery Channel. Today's top story... newly discovered form of life found in the depths of a lead mine!


#81 moondawg

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 01:23 PM

NOAA's new mandatory artificial reef program for all boats sailing the waters of Biscayne Bay and the Florida Keys.

#82 McGon

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 01:23 PM

Boaters

Save money on expensive antifouling paints by using your keels as marine gardens.

Laugh your way through the recession with endless bowls of free chowder.

#83 teleboxAUT118

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 01:26 PM

the boat is in real great shape, the only thing not working is the kelb cutter...

#84 epoxymoron

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 01:55 PM

Captain Kirk: Bones! Ya gotta help me!

Dr. McCoy: Jesus H. Christ Jim! How many times do I have to tell you - if the pussy is green, don't fuck it!!!

#85 davidprobable

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 01:56 PM

H1N1 goes rogue...........

#86 irishman72

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 01:57 PM

Introducing the new Doug Lord-designed foiling keel boat with patent-pending organic micro foils! According to Mr. Lord: "Surface area is the key. Get enough surface area wedging the boat out of the water and *anything* will foil. My real innovation is the use of random organic foiling surfaces, which are much stronger than carbon fiber/resin composites and don't cost anything more than a coupla years of moorage fees and some patience. Calculations show this baby'll foil in 6 knots of south-east breeze, 8 knots if the breeze is north east (due to the Coriolis Effect--results opposite in the southern hemisphere)."

#87 olthump

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 01:59 PM

Two Words...Grey Poupon.

#88 full circle

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 02:01 PM

we told you it's pronounced 'b e n e s l o w'

#89 pippi

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 02:05 PM

What is that grey slimy stuff???

#90 jayg763

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 02:15 PM

Shit man, we killed Davy Jones.

#91 Crabalocker

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 02:18 PM

This, children, shows the danger of being UN-CLEAN down there

#92 SailfastDrinkhard

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 02:27 PM

Introducing the latest and greatest in go fast tech: add depth and weight to your keel, break laminar flow, grow your own provisions, provides penicillin for after party rashes, and best of all its completely green!

order now and we'll throw in a matching rudder for free. All for the one easy payment of being too lazy to clean.

#93 Pinch This

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 02:41 PM

At least it will pass the stability test for Bermuda....

#94 jwhj30

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 02:46 PM

To Sailmaker - "Yes, we are using the inboard leads, she still won't point."

Sailmaker - "You need a Code 0"

#95 Sol Rosenberg

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 02:50 PM

Chuck,

The last form A was kicked back to me so here it is again.

As for Julian and this last email from you.

Julian has no business on the Race Course period.
He is not legal. You know it the other owners know it and the EC
knows it.

Julian has altered his Keel not once but twice without permission.
And he has made assumptions about his Keel. This in its self is not
legal. (see rule 1.1)

The EC should have acted on this issue a long time ago and as of
now done nothing and it looks like they will do nothing.

Julian has had every opportunity to correct the problem and has done nothing
but try and pussy foot around it. He has shown total disrespect and disregard to
you the EC and the Class on a National level. This alone is grounds for protest.

We have eye witnesses and Julian's on word that his Keel is not legal. We don't
need to pull his boat to prove it. If he cared and took the Class seriously and felt his
Keel was legal he would have called in the Tech and Measurement committee before he splashed his boat this year.

The EC has handled this whole thing very poorly and now Beneteau 36.7 Class Racing is becoming a joke. The word is out and it's starting to get embarrassing.

Please call me and lets see how we can put an end to this nonsense.

Richie



#96 Impact

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 02:51 PM

Time for a full Brazillian on the lower bits.

#97 ajbram

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 02:54 PM

Before his career as an abstract artist, Jackson Pollock enjoyed a short stint drawing performance cruisers for a well-known yacht manufacturer. His immense contributions to yacht design remain underappreciated.

#98 kentinkc

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 02:55 PM

I told you not to order the sushi

#99 moondawg

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 03:09 PM

Fast forward to 2013. The newly empowered America's Cup Trust unveils the prototype keel for the new AC Class. Trustee John Tommy Rosa says:

EASY AND QUICK TO CRITICIZE YOU ARE

ALL I DO IS FOR THE BENEFIT OF ALL SAILORS AND THOSE WHO LOVE THE AC

YOU THINK THIS SLOW YOU ARE A SPY FOR OUR ENEMIES.

Official spokesman for the fledgling ATC, Peter Huston, says. "This revolutionary keel is approved by The Hague and demonstrates the completion of the entire design. We will unveil the rest of the new design when the AC Elders deem appropriate. The public has no right to see the design as the public has shown no support for our effort to return the America's Cup to its prior prominence."

#100 nеuгodragon

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 03:10 PM

Let's make this a Caption Contest


"20,000 leagues under the Beneteau"




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