259 replies to this topic

[Editor]

This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!

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[Tysk]

No really it's faster... It breaks up the laminar flow.

[eric e]

no of course i don't touch my bottom

it's dirty!

[avengerrpm]

Hell yes! Working for that local seafood company is gonna pay off better than I thought!!

[skierdude585]

Owner: if a little slime on your bottom is fast, alot must be faster!!!

[familysailor]

Has anyone put the class template on that yet?

[Somebody Else]

It certainly must belong to this guy!

[t.rex]

Hauled out in Barcelona for a Gaudì bottom job.

[CazzaRanda]

how does it rate?

[beaconhood]

I told you it wasn't the rig!!!!

[DKMS]

Husband to wife "You know that dinning set you made me buy, well geuss where i scrimped the money to afford it. Heres a bucket....."

[nutz]

The growth got so bad a trailer was found growing as well.

[Derek Grebe]

methinks a verse or two of 'Barnacle Bill the Sailor' is in order

"Who's that knocking on my door? Who's that knocking on my door?
Who's that knocking on my door?" said the fair Young Maiden...

"It's only me from over the sea" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"It's only me from over the sea" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.


Alternate Responses:
"Fuck, open the door, you pox-ridden whore!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"Fuck, open the door, you pox-ridden whore!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"It's, me and my crew and we've come for a screw!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"It's, me and my crew and we've come for a screw!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"Open the door, you fucking whore" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"Open the door, you fucking whore" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"It's, me and I'm back from sea" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"It's, me and I'm back from sea" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"What if my parents come home? What if my parents come home?
What if my parents come home?" said the fair Young Maiden....

"I'll kill your pa and fuck your ma" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"I'll kill your pa and fuck your ma" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"Are you young and handsome, Sir? Are you young and handsome, Sir?"
Are you young and handsome, Sir?" said the fair Young Maiden.

"I'm old and rough and dirty and tough" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"I'm old and rough and dirty and tough" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"What is your intention, sir? What is your intention, sir?
What is your intention, sir?" said the fair Young Maiden.

"Oh, off with your shirt, so you doesn't get hurt!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"Oh, off with your shirt, so you doesn't get hurt!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"Will you take me to the dance? Will you take me to the dance?
Will you take me to the dance?" said the fair Young Maiden....

"To Hell with the dance! Now, off with your pants!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"To Hell with the dance! Now, off with your pants!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"Will you vow to marry me? Will you vow to marry me?
Will you vow to marry me?" said the fair Young Maiden....

"Hell no, we won't wed. Getcher ass in yon bed!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"Hell no, we won't wed. Getcher ass in yon bed!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"What's that thing between your legs?" What's that thing between your legs?
"What's that thing between your legs?" said the fair young maiden.

"It is me pole to stick in your hole," says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"It is me pole to stick in your hole," says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"What if I should have a child? What if I should have a child?
What if I should have a child?" said the fair Young Maiden.

"I'll open your crack, and shove it right back!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"I'll open your crack, and shove it right back!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.


Alternate Response:
"I'll kill the bugger and fuck for another!" says Barnicle Bill the Sailor.
"I'll kill the bugger and fuck for another!" says Barnicle Bill the Sailor.


"What if we should have a boy? What if we should have a boy?
What if we should have a boy?" said the fair Young Maiden.

"I'll take him to sea, teach him to fuck like me!
I'll take him to sea, teach him to fuck like me!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"What if we should have a girl? What if we should have a girl?
What if we should have a girl?" said the fair Young Maiden.

"I'll dig a ditch and bury the bitch!
I'll dig a ditch and bury the bitch!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"What if you should go to jail? What if you should go to jail?
What if you should go to jail?" said the fair young maiden.

"I'll swing me big balls, and knock down the walls!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

Alternate Responses:
"I'll pick the lock with me cock!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"I just got paid and I wanna get laid" said Barnacle Bill the sailor

[willsailforfood]

It's the new OD class legal keel shoe for a 36.7!

[Derek Grebe]

"I can't clean it just now, I've pulled a mussel.."

[Ralph M]

Yeah, it's is a hightec ship with winglets on the keel and very well maintained... only for you for a very reasonable price!

[Parson]

This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!

The best bait to use when fishing for muscles & Barncles for your seafood chowder? Why Beneteau Keel of Course!!

[MVS]

but the designer said it is supposed to be 2" deeper... It'll sail better

[Derek Grebe]

"a barnacle has the animal kingdom's largest penis in proportion to its body size, you know.
Get these fuckers horny, and this beast will foil, baby!"

[floating dutchman]

The bendytoy keel that stops Itself from falling off.

[supamaki]

"Part of the Ship, Part of the Crew"

[ClimbnSail]

For Sale: Beneteau 235 great sails, no leaks, great electronics, well maintained, hasn't been hauled in a couple of seasons, might need it in a year or so... taking offers, acccepting cash

[Kaneohe]

"That's no leaner, That's a tea bagger"

[mgosailing]

And the chef's special of the week is....

[ryerxaster29]

But we can't clean it off! Then we won't have any good boat speed excuses.

[farr ark]

But who is minding the mooring now??

[NoStrings]

You only have to floss the ones that you want to keep.

[rodlaser]

this is what you call oooorrrrrrganic

[SundancerKid]

Hey Skipper, was that you that sneezed?

[SundancerKid]

This Benetau's got BALLS.

[hoom]

"Meh, its a Beneslow, you realise its not going to go any faster if we clean that right?"

"Caught Out! Anarchist spots BMWO skin friction reduction test boat with its skirts down"

[Zebadee]

US Wildlife & Seafisheries:

Im afraid that as you have destroyed this beautiful and natural habitat we are going to have to press charges!
You can expect a minimum fine of $10,000 and potentially jail time too.

[superduperbow]

i told you predator wasn't dead!!!! the alien failed us all! now we are doomed! be ware of the Benetau Predator! this one is even fiercer then the regular predator!

[DeadFuckingLast]

IRC optimization just entered a new dimension.

[DeadFuckingLast]

Who Ya Gonna Call? Ghostbusters!

[waloo]

Keeler art.

[obelix]

This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!

Quick, someone call Chuck N for a visual interpretation!

[Watergumby]

news Flash....some original drawings of Ben Lexen's designs have been found in Sweden and on water testing is about to commence !

[swimalot]

thought all you little bastards swimin would give us a knot or 2 extra
not eat me f....n boat!!!!!!!

[akasideshow]

The apprentice enjoyed the walk to his first day working at the shipyard, although he wondered why his boss was laughed so much on the phone.

[ts091106]

Clearly there is no better place to experiment with nut sack stem cells.

[Kaptainkriz]

PHRF SEZ
Beneteau 235 (MOD): Base rating 201, laminar keel mod (-33sec/mi), New Rating 168.

No really it's faster... It breaks up the laminar flow.

[SailingClappers]

who needs keel bolts?

[34 South]

A graphic representation of the current state of the America's Cup

[b393capt]

"It's Alive"

[ElwoodBlues]

and kids, this is what happens to your dick when you mess around with those truck stop prostitutes......

[glowmaster]

that'll buff right out!

ed

[malaclemys]

Alinghi reveals new biological keel with pulsing invertebrate power, plans to file lawsuit as legal in AC under Deed of Gift.

[jlanc64]

Davey Jones - head shot

[dogdoo]

After the boat was hauled they celebrated their victory with several boxes of wine.

[Scars&Scrapes]

Ribbed for her pleasure

[DRIFTW00D]

Sir your New Boats ready to be picked up! Its a thing of BEAUTY and has that fast look of the future!

We gave her the latest in bottom treatments. She will never cleaning, polishing, scrubbing OR HAULING. We apply this stuff once, and its good for a life time. And it is the latest in Eco Friendly finishes. Plus the manufacture claims it will definitely lower your rating every year its on.

It is the best of both worlds really!! NO MAINTENANCE, ECO FRIENDLY! The only bottom job Green Peace, the Sierra Club, the Cousteau Society and the EPA have ever AGREED ON, APPROVED AND GUARANTEED to last, FOR EVER!

[redshield]

" Flying Dutchman optimised to race in Beneteau Cup"

[Joe Mama]

Nice dip, who brought the chips?

[Regatta Dog]

Stability in heavy air has never been easier. Introducing the Eco-Reefing System^TM, from Beneteau.

[Yukon]

Scrap it
Dry it
Grind it
Roll it
Smoke it

Dude. . . we're fast.

[BVSailor]

I think I just saw Sponge Bob jump off that thing!

[KM14]

That Santa Barbara Syphilis strain is really affecting everything these days

[teleboxAUT118]

the smell, the bottom hairs and the look reminds me of a party during key west week years ago when bottom shaving was not invented yet...

[Mirage]

"The bottom is clean, nobody ever talks about keel cleaning, how was I supposed to know?"

[PurpleSnipe]

"Does this look infected to you...?"

[Kalumder]

Presenting Bénéteau "Coral Reef option" only 3459$ for the Oceanis line

Do you dream of sailing in new waters and experiencing the thrills of sailing, and the pleasure of coral reef diving? If you do than the newly introduced "coral reef option" is just what you are looking for. With the "coral reef option" for your Oceanis boat line you can now enjoy diving at a coral reef where ever you sail to. Now you don't have to sail to exotic places to enjoy coral reef diving, instead you can simply sail in your local area, anchor anywhere, put on your diving gear and voila! Enjoy the soothing and calming experience of coral reef diving, where ever you want, and when ever you want.

[PurpleSnipe]

"Don't worry Mate, a little Penicillin ought to do the trick..."

[Alibi]

"chowder power"

[Trippin]

But the man at Lowe's said that a Latex paint whould work. It's the new "Go Green" bottom paint.

[truehand]

"just ONE more post, THEN I'll go sailing"

[Regatta Dog]

I think I just saw Sponge Bob jump off that thing!

[Swell Guy]

This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!

That's GOOD Gah!

[Dark & Stupid]

Chuck Norris finally displays a "class legal" Benteau 36.7 keel.

[Black Sox]

An example of why you should never buy a boat that's been used in salt water.

[Swell Guy]

This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!

Ernesto, we have to do something about your hemorhoids... you can't keep holding on to them like your bad ideas!

[properslop]

the leaflets at the clinic had gotten a tad graphic lately!

[keel trimmer]

We were trying to grow a pair of balls......

[Guitar]

Yep, sorry, it is the swine flu.

[Zipped]

After years of searching, finally proof of Cthulhu's existence was found.

[Swell Guy]

This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!

Welcome to the set of Zombieland. Our first stop is at the craft table.

[moondawg]

No, really, its called organic fairing. Still working out some bugs in the system.

[moondawg]

I don't think this is what they mean by "attached flow".

[Dark & Stupid]

After the sinking of the Black Pearl - Bootstrap Bill found a new home on a BendyToe.

[Swell Guy]

This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!

Welcome to Discovery Channel. Today's top story... newly discovered form of life found in the depths of a lead mine!

[moondawg]

NOAA's new mandatory artificial reef program for all boats sailing the waters of Biscayne Bay and the Florida Keys.

[McGon]

Boaters

Save money on expensive antifouling paints by using your keels as marine gardens.

Laugh your way through the recession with endless bowls of free chowder.

[teleboxAUT118]

the boat is in real great shape, the only thing not working is the kelb cutter...

[epoxymoron]

Captain Kirk: Bones! Ya gotta help me!

Dr. McCoy: Jesus H. Christ Jim! How many times do I have to tell you - if the pussy is green, don't fuck it!!!

[davidprobable]

H1N1 goes rogue...........

[irishman72]

Introducing the new Doug Lord-designed foiling keel boat with patent-pending organic micro foils! According to Mr. Lord: "Surface area is the key. Get enough surface area wedging the boat out of the water and *anything* will foil. My real innovation is the use of random organic foiling surfaces, which are much stronger than carbon fiber/resin composites and don't cost anything more than a coupla years of moorage fees and some patience. Calculations show this baby'll foil in 6 knots of south-east breeze, 8 knots if the breeze is north east (due to the Coriolis Effect--results opposite in the southern hemisphere)."

[olthump]

Two Words...Grey Poupon.

[full circle]

we told you it's pronounced 'b e n e s l o w'

[pippi]

What is that grey slimy stuff???

[jayg763]

Shit man, we killed Davy Jones.

[Crabalocker]

This, children, shows the danger of being UN-CLEAN down there

[SailfastDrinkhard]

Introducing the latest and greatest in go fast tech: add depth and weight to your keel, break laminar flow, grow your own provisions, provides penicillin for after party rashes, and best of all its completely green!

order now and we'll throw in a matching rudder for free. All for the one easy payment of being too lazy to clean.

[Pinch This]

At least it will pass the stability test for Bermuda....

[jwhj30]

To Sailmaker - "Yes, we are using the inboard leads, she still won't point."

Sailmaker - "You need a Code 0"

[Sol Rosenberg]

Chuck,

The last form A was kicked back to me so here it is again.

As for Julian and this last email from you.

Julian has no business on the Race Course period.
He is not legal. You know it the other owners know it and the EC
knows it.

Julian has altered his Keel not once but twice without permission.
And he has made assumptions about his Keel. This in its self is not
legal. (see rule 1.1)

The EC should have acted on this issue a long time ago and as of
now done nothing and it looks like they will do nothing.

Julian has had every opportunity to correct the problem and has done nothing
but try and pussy foot around it. He has shown total disrespect and disregard to
you the EC and the Class on a National level. This alone is grounds for protest.

We have eye witnesses and Julian's on word that his Keel is not legal. We don't
need to pull his boat to prove it. If he cared and took the Class seriously and felt his
Keel was legal he would have called in the Tech and Measurement committee before he splashed his boat this year.

The EC has handled this whole thing very poorly and now Beneteau 36.7 Class Racing is becoming a joke. The word is out and it's starting to get embarrassing.

Please call me and lets see how we can put an end to this nonsense.

Richie

[Impact]

Time for a full Brazillian on the lower bits.

[ajbram]

Before his career as an abstract artist, Jackson Pollock enjoyed a short stint drawing performance cruisers for a well-known yacht manufacturer. His immense contributions to yacht design remain underappreciated.

[kentinkc]

I told you not to order the sushi

[moondawg]

Fast forward to 2013. The newly empowered America's Cup Trust unveils the prototype keel for the new AC Class. Trustee John Tommy Rosa says:

EASY AND QUICK TO CRITICIZE YOU ARE

ALL I DO IS FOR THE BENEFIT OF ALL SAILORS AND THOSE WHO LOVE THE AC

YOU THINK THIS SLOW YOU ARE A SPY FOR OUR ENEMIES.

Official spokesman for the fledgling ATC, Peter Huston, says. "This revolutionary keel is approved by The Hague and demonstrates the completion of the entire design. We will unveil the rest of the new design when the AC Elders deem appropriate. The public has no right to see the design as the public has shown no support for our effort to return the America's Cup to its prior prominence."

[nеuгodragon]

Let's make this a Caption Contest

"20,000 leagues under the Beneteau"