I am tired of clichés. Clichés are fine as far as they go but they certainly are not the immutable rules of life that people think they are. I offer the following examples of clichés that I think are totally off the mark and why. Feel free to add your own.
"Never burn your bridges". Well, duh. I always burn my bridges. If you can't go back you can only go forward. Makes decisions easier if there are less choices!
"The show must go on". No, the show doesn't have to go on, it's only a show for chrissake.
"If you forgot what you were going to say, it must not have been important". Bull shit. Of course it was important. I am getting old, I forget many important things.
"If it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger". Well sure, that's true, but if it does kill you, then who cares!
"The early bird gets the worm". Who the fuck likes worms anyway? I want worms, I'll go buy them at the bait shop. Sleep is more important. I'm getting old, remember? I love a good nap.
"Let sleeping dogs lie". Somebody better tell my dogs that one. They never let me sleep once they get up. I am more than willing to let them lie around all day but they insist on waking me up when they are up. And it is always early. Maybe they like worms, the bastards.
"Beauty is only skin deep". Well call me shallow but I like pretty women.
Those are a few of my pet peeves. Anyone else have some?