Jump to content


soak_ed

Member Since 25 Jun 2009
Offline Last Active Today, 06:43 PM
***--

Topics I've Started

My only Child is Getting Married Next Spring

01 September 2016 - 10:55 PM

I have an important announcement and I demand an audience.  My daughter will marry the useless scum she has endured as a boyfriend for the last five years.  His only saving grace is he has a job and all of his own teeth.  I told my daughter us Lada's don't marry into families with children named Billy Bob, Rachel Sue and uncle cousin Harry, but you know kids they just don't listen.  She claims she loves the boy. I think his neck tattoos have to go, Sara loves them, of course she has 7 of her own..
 
Actually the part about getting married is true but the rest is in fun.  I trust my daughter completely and if she thinks he is the man for her, then he is.  They have been together for 5 years and my daughter doesn't suffer fools lightly. I had to give him the "racking the shot gun speech" over the phone from Poland but I think it worked.  Every answer to my question was a crisp "Yes Mr. Lada, Sara already told me that. Yes Mr. Lada Sara told me you would say that too..."  I met him in person a year or two later and he is a great guy.  Make no mistake about it, he is a bit odd but given that I am a bit odd and I raised her from 10 to 17 without her mother, it was no wonder she found an odd man.  It will be an informal outdoor thing his mother has a nice piece of land in the country.  Folks will bring food, there will be about 60 guests.  Sara said she didn't wan't to spend a lot of money on the wedding so there was more money for booze.  That's the Polish side showing there.  My daughter has asked that she and I make a few hundred meatballs from a recipe of my mother's.  We used to make them together when she lived in Germany, they are on of her favorite foods, so we will do that. She really knows how to manipulate me still, when I objected to the work and I am getting older she said "But Ted (she always calls me Ted, long story, don't ask) we always did this as a daddy daughter bonding moment, remember?  So we will make meatballs,300-400 meatballs.  These meatballs are good.  You roll them in breadcrumbs and fry them in olive oil, no tomato sauce. Inside is fresh chopped parsley, lots of Parmesan cheese, old bread and ground pork, veal and beef and a little salt and pepper.  I am very happy they are getting married, they are well suited to each other in my opinion.  She is my only kid.  I told her I would cry at the wedding and she said; "Yeah Ted, I knew that you will."  Congratulations Sara and Matt and it's about time!
 
I posted this in CA also but some of your filthy cretins here don't go there often so I came down here slumming to let those you folks know too.no

Off Topic But I Wanted to Share Here

01 September 2016 - 10:51 PM

I have an important announcement I demand an audience.  My daughter will marry the useless scum she has endured as a boyfriend for the last five years.  His only saving grace is he has a job and all of his own teeth.  I told my daughter us Lada's don't marry into families with children named Billy Bob, Rachel Sue and uncle cousin Harry, but you know kids they just don't listen.  She claims she loves the boy. I think his neck tattoos have to go, Sara loves them, of course she has 7 of her own..
 
Actually the part about getting married is true but the rest is in fun.  I trust my daughter completely and if she thinks he is the man for her, then he is.  They have been together for 5 years and my daughter doesn't suffer fools lightly. I had to give him the "racking the shot gun speech" over the phone from Poland but I think it worked.  Every answer to my question was a crisp "Yes Mr. Lada, Sara already told me that. Yes Mr. Lada Sara told me you would say that too..."  I met him in person a year or two later and he is a great guy.  Make no mistake about it, he is a bit odd but given that I am a bit odd and I raised her from 10 to 17 without her mother, it was no wonder she found an odd man.  It will be an informal outdoor thing his mother has a nice piece of land in the country.  Folks will bring food, there will be about 60 guests.  Sara said she didn't wan't to spend a lot of money on the wedding so there was more money for booze.  That's the Polish side showing there.  My daughter has asked that she and I make a few hundred meatballs from a recipe of my mother's.  We used to make them together when she lived in Germany, they are on of her favorite foods, so we will do that. She really knows how to manipulate me still, when I objected to the work and I am getting older she said "But Ted (she always calls me Ted, long story, don't ask) we always did this as a daddy daughter bonding moment, remember?  So we will make meatballs,300-400 meatballs.  These meatballs are good.  You roll them in breadcrumbs and fry them in olive oil, no tomato sauce. Inside is fresh chopped parsley, lots of Parmesan cheese, old bread and ground pork, veal and beef and a little salt and pepper.  I am very happy they are getting married, they are well suited to each other in my opinion.  She is my only kid.  I told her I would cry at the wedding and she said; "Yeah Ted, I knew that you will."  Congratulations Sara and Matt and it's about time!

YCMTSU: Trump Cites His Daughter as Economics Advisor

08 August 2016 - 10:48 PM

Apparently the Donald gave a speech to the Detroit Economic Forum last night, which in itself would be like holding a ship safety conference on the Titanic's maiden voyage, but I digress.  While outlining his economic policy the first thing he read from the teleprompter was the fact that he had been working hard on his plan to revitalize the American economy and that his daughter Ivana was working on it with him and providing valuable assistance.  Then he added that his economic advisors were also aiding the A team. I wonder if they were using the big box of Crayola crayons, you know the one with 64 different colors.  All in all the speech didn't contain one concrete proposal, just more of the same.  I will make Detroit and the American auto industry great again, we will make beautiful sky scrapers with American steel, etc, etc.  What an asshole.


What is it About These Canadians?

08 August 2016 - 08:59 PM

It seems the big thing nowadays is video blogging or Vlogs.  Well I found a couple that are so weird they are somewhat entertaining if comes to watching these or chasing Pokemons.  

 

This guy is a the maintenance man at a cemetery in Canada.  Yes, he vlogs about that and he also shares his Farm Sim and Train Sim adventures.  Before you snort and guffaw, he has 133,000 subscribers, most of them probably Canadians with nothing better to do but eagerly await his next video.

 

The next guy is also pretty strange but has a real way with words.  He apparently runs some kind of machine shop next to his house and just shares whatever he is doing at any given time.  He has `159,000 subscribers, again indicative of how Canadians are apparently desperate for any kind of diversion from their boring lives.

 

So sit back, pop a cold one and enjoy.

 

Canadian Cemetery Dude:  https://www.youtube....h?v=ii_neJhsPtQ

 

Canadian Machine Shop Dude:  https://www.youtube....h?v=j5p1-M5CKUo


Write in Campaign for SA Tournament of Assholes

05 August 2016 - 12:20 AM

Ok ladies and gents, in the waning days of the SA Tournament of Assholes contest I think it is time to reconsider.  Given that clearly the biggest asshole of SA is none other than the originator of the contest  JBSF and not very many people have questioned the wisdom of having an asshole of his caliber to run the contest it is time we recti(um)fy the situation.  It is quite obvious when we examine the big picture, his entire body of work, his length of time as a member of the site, his unwavering dogmatic narcissism, that JBSF is by far, superior to any other asshole on this site.  If there is any justice in this fucked up world, if there is any belief in any kind of fundamental truth, if there is any faith that the sun will rise tomorrow then you truly need to vote your conscience.   It is my humble suggestion that in order to restore any sense of sanity in a world gone mad, that anybody that believes in the fundamental goodness of the human race (I know, that's a a stretch but play along with me) then it is time to set the record straight. So I implore you, you rational, intelligent, thinking humans (yes, that is obviously also quite a stretch) to simply post below 4 simple letters,  JBSF.  By doing so you agree that this contest was rigged from the very beginning and that fact alone should be sufficient proof to support my contention that there is no greater asshole here than Mr. JBSF.  Simply post in response to this thread, JBSF and justice will be done.  Yes, Nanny is a real dick, yes Random can be quite trying but look at the reality, search your souls and tell me in good faith that you really believe that JBSF doesn't out asshole those assholes by a significant margin.  I know it's true and deep down inside so do you.  So do it for all the right reasons.  Do it for the sake of decency.  Do it because it is the right thing to do.  Do it because if you don't, millions of innocent, cute, little kittens will die.  Just fucking do it OK???  Write in below, JBSF and let the chips fall where they may but it is the right thing to do.  You know it, I know it and the asshole supreme, JBSF himself knows it.  Just do it.  Let's make SA great again!