Jump to content

meanmachine

Members
  • Content Count

    1,117
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

0 Neutral

About meanmachine

  • Rank
    Super Anarchist
  • Birthday 05/20/1955

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
    http://

Profile Information

  • Location
    chain valley bay

Recent Profile Visitors

3,897 profile views
  1. meanmachine

    Joke

    I don't get it ummm...are you blonde by any chance ? cheers,
  2. meanmachine

    Joke

    A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, Anne Maynard, has sued St Luke's hospital, saying that after her husband was treated there recently, he had lost all interest in sex. A hospital spokesman replied, "Mr. Maynard was actually admitted in Ophthalmology - all we did was correct his eyesight."
  3. meanmachine

    Joke

    Call Up - Guys Over 60 This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier.... New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60! I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists.. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing arse -backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35. For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple o
  4. meanmachine

    Joke

    hahaha...that has to be simulatanously the funniest and most revolting mental imagine i've had in a long time ! well done (could only come from FNQ...). cheers,
  5. meanmachine

    Joke

    When George Burns was 97 years old he was interviewed by Oprah Winfrey. Oprah asked, 'Mr. Burns, how do you carry so much energy with you? You are always working, and at your age I think that is remarkable.' George Burns said, 'I just take good care of myself and enjoy what I do when I do it.' Oprah said, 'I understand you still do the sex thing, even at your age.' George said, 'Of course I still do the sex thing, and I am quite good at it.' Oprah said, 'I have never been with an older man. Would you do it with me?' So they had sex and when they finished, Oprah said, 'I j
  6. meanmachine

    Joke

    ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659 A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, She complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) What he had to say for himself. The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but
  7. meanmachine

    Joke

    The Parking Officer's Funeral As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer's funeral a voice from inside screams: "I'm not dead, I'm not dead! Let me out!!!" The Vicar smiles, leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters: "Too late pal, the paperwork's already done" cheers,
  8. meanmachine

    Joke

    DONATION Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?' 'It is!' 'This is the Internal Revenue Service. Can you help us?' 'I can!' 'Do you know a Ted Houlihan? ' 'I do!' 'Is he a member of your congregation?' 'He is!' 'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?' 'He will.' ---------------------------------------------------------- CONFESSION An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues: Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildre
  9. meanmachine

    Joke

    pretty funny although ansett went out of business in 2002. paper delivery a bit slow there grumps ? cheers
  10. meanmachine

    Joke

    + 1 best in a long time thanks ! cheers,
  11. meanmachine

    Joke

    I like this one ---- A British Airways 747 had just landed at Frankfurt airport and was given instructions to proceed to Gate B8. The pilot however, had the 747 on the taxiway - stopped - while he dug out the airport chart as he wasn't clear where Gate B8 was located, and he didn't want to ask the notoriously prickly Frankfurt tower for directions. The tower controller, seeing the 747 sitting - and blocking - the taxiway, came over the radio with obvious disdain in his voice "BA Heavy 24 Delta, do you know where your gate is located? Have you not been to Frankfurt airport bef
  12. meanmachine

    Joke

    picture frankfurt airport a queue of planes waiting to take off, including a lufthansa 747. the pilot of the lufthansa jet starts talking to the control tower in german of course the control tower comes back and says, "i'm sorry...english is the international language for air control...you must speak in english" with this the lufthansa pilot gets very irate "I am a german pilot, flying for a german airline, at a german airport ! why should i speak english !!" and then a very pucker british voice comes over the air from one of the other aircraft waiting... "because you lo
  13. meanmachine

    Joke

    A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said 'I want to be a movie star.' Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials. The agent asked, 'What's your name?' The guy said, 'My name is Penis van Lesbian.' The agent said, 'Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood, you are going to have to change your name.' 'I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is a fine old Dutch name and is centuries old, I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Nope, not ever..' The agent said, 'Sir, I have worked in
  14. meanmachine

    Joke

    A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.' 'That's cool' said the blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?' 'Just three questions' said St Peter. 'Which are?' asked the blonde. 'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T' '? The second is 'How many seco
  15. I heard someone say that it was E11even, Farr 40 mod. Could be wrong. i think you might be. 11 is now called 'iota' and lives at lake macquarie. was moored just off the yacht club a couple of weeks ago. suppose they might have gone crusing to tassie but ?? cheers,
×
×
  • Create New...