D-mon

Did you hear about the new Haitian boy band? New Blocks on the Kid

A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, 'Hey Koala! What are you doing?' The koala said, 'Smoking a joint, come up and have some.' So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints. After awhile the little lizard said that his mouth was 'dry' and that he was going to get a drink from the river. The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned over too far and fell into the river. A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard an

1. I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. I said "morning". He said, "no just taking a shit". 2. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole a bike and asked him to forgive me. 3. My girlfriend was in labor with our first child. She was shouting out "get this out of me? Give me the drugs". She looked at me and said, "You did this to me you bastard,"! I casually replied, "If you would care to remember, I wanted to stick it up your ass but

Guy goes to a bar tells the bartender "line me up 7 shots of your best whiskey" "Ahh indeed" replies the bartender "what are we celebrating?" The guy replies "First blow job" Bartender says "Excellent! In that case I will buy you one as well" The guy says "Nah, if these seven dont get the taste out of my mouth nothing will"

Great joke derek! You know why they do not have sex education and driver education on the same day in Mexico? Too hard on the donkey.

x 10

One pussy lip ask the other "Why is it we dont spend as much time together anymore" The other one replies: "Yeah it seems there is always some dick trying to cum between us"

How do you make your wife scream during sex? Give her a call on the phone!

D-mon likes tight jeans

The difference between Sarah Palin and Michele Obama? Same as the difference between Playboy and National Geographic. OHHH NOOOOO HE did not!

WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.' I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I

Man It took me three weeks to read to this point

Paramedics like to pump and blow