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onephatdiva

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About onephatdiva

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    Super Anarchist

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    Leaving a daughters bedroom, is it yours?
  1. Already here, equity markets lead employment data by about 6 months so the dip started about 4-6 weeks ago. You won't find to many US companies with large inventories as yet so that implies they don't think there is a surge coming anytime soon. People are still running stock down and buying effectivley on spot rather than long dated cheaper orders. The second coming will really commence when rates start moving up
  2. http://www.businessinsider.com/chart-of-the-day-jobs-lost-in-the-bush-and-obama-administration-2010-2 So the number of people losing there jobs is slowing down yet the number of people being employed or re-employed are what?
  3. where's the BEER .........

  4. Hey, Phattie :)

    Just wanted to say hi & give you a comment!

    Bella :)

  5. onephatdiva

    Joke

    An old Maori man lived alone at his family home in Ruatoria. He wanted to dig his kumara garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Hone, who used to help him, was in Paremoremo prison. The man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament. Kia ora e Hone, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my kumara garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me. Aroha nui Papa A few days later he received a letter from h
  6. onephatdiva

    Joke

    Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Arch-Angel found him on the seventh day, resting. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds. "Look Michael, look what I've made." said God. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said “What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance". Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to differ
  7. onephatdiva

    Joke

    Taken from the Guardian, an actual letter sent by the Inland Revenue: Dear Mr Addison, I am writing to you to express our thanks for your more than prompt reply to our latest communication, and also to answer some of the points you raise. I will address them, as ever, in order. Firstly, I must take issue with your description of our last as a "begging letter". It might perhaps more properly be referred to as a "tax demand". This is how we, at the Inland Revenue have always, for reasons of accuracy; traditionally referred to such documents. Secondly, your frustration at our addin
  8. onephatdiva

    Joke

    I've been drinking too much.... shame on you, and never let those words utterr past your lips.....you can never drink to much
  9. onephatdiva

    Joke

    Geezus Phats...you didn't say you had a brother m8 Yeah close kept family secret.....why do you want to meet him or something?
  10. onephatdiva

    Joke

    Your lucky Grumpy , I was winding up the seppo's in PA for shits and giggles, you got away with it this time So what did I miss please
  11. onephatdiva

    Joke

    An Italian, a Scottsman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to: The Italian guy, ''You're in charge of sweeping'' The Scotsman, ''You're in charge of shovelling'' The Chinese guy, ''You're in charge of supplies.'' He then says, ''Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a big dent in that pile.'' So the foreman goes away for a couple hours and, when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched. He asks the Italian, ''Why didn't you sweep any of it?'' The Italian replies, ''I no
  12. onephatdiva

    Joke

    Ten Things a Guy Learns From Action Movies 1. No matter what my problem is, it's the fault of someone other than myself, and the appropriate response is to find that person and kill him with my bare hands. 2. If I have a prolonged fist-fight with another guy and neither of us dies, we will become best friends. 3. There are two kinds of women in the world: The type that wants to go to bed with you, and the type that wants to kill you. Both types are physically attractive and under 25 years old. 4. If I rudely argue with my boss in front of my co-workers, not only won't he
  13. onephatdiva

    Joke

    A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! what are you doing?" The monkey says "Smoking a joint, come up and have some." So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have a few joints. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?" Th
  14. onephatdiva

    Joke

    LETTER FOUND IN A "PERSONAL PROBLEMS" ADVICE COLUMN From Gavin of Wellington, New Zealand. I am a sailor in the New Zealand Navy. My parents live in the Suburb of Seatoun and one of my sisters, who lives in Palmerston North, is married to an Australian. My Father and Mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my two sisters, who are prostitutes in Auckland. I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Mt. Eden Prison, Auckland,for the rape & murder of a teenage boy in 1994, the
  15. onephatdiva

    Joke

    "I went to the airport to check in and they asked what I did because I looked like a terrorist. I said I was a comedian. They said, "Say something funny then." I told them I had just graduated from flying school."
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