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Chris Burns

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Everything posted by Chris Burns

  1. Chris Burns

    Joke

    I bought an empty wooden box from Chernobyl. Cheepest eat microwave I could find ...
  2. Chris Burns

    Joke

    Did you hear that Ukraine is opening Chernobyl up for tourism? They are going to clean the place up a bit, put in some attractions, tours and rides. Kind of like Disney World, except the 6 foot tall mouse is real.
  3. Chris Burns

    Joke

    One of my patients mentioned that when she learned to drive the only thing she had to worry about was "Giddy-up" and "Whoa". Another fellow I met a bit back (pushing 70) asked me if I remembered Gilligan's Island. When I said yes, he asked if I remembered the whole Ginger vs. Maryanne thing. Sure, I replied. Well, he said when you get to a certain age you realize Mrs. Howell was kinda good looking too... Was watching an old comedy a bit back and a cute young girl in a rather skimpy French Maid's outfit was vacuuming and bending over pretty provocatively - dang, I thought. We used t
  4. Balvenie Double Wood. Just a little, straight up or over a couple of ice cubes. Pretty rarely though. A bottle lasts a long while. It's converted several friends into appreciators of decent Scotch.
  5. Chris Burns

    Joke

    I heard the only part of the Olympics that Trump watched was the pole vaulting ... He was watching the Mexicans to see how high the wall needed to be ...
  6. Chris Burns

    Joke

    Is there a joke in there??? I don't get it. All my retired Air Force enlisted guys get it, but they all tell me the AF has the smartest enlisted - "We send our officers out to fight". All my Marine friends get excited about the rip the stinger off part ... 😳
  7. Chris Burns

    Joke

    The scorpion in the tent Members of the different Armed Services were asked how they would deal with a scorpion in their tent The sailor said he'd step on it The soldier said he'd crush it with his boot The Marine said he'd capture it, rip off the stinger and eat it The airman said he'd call room service and ask what a tent was doing in his room.
  8. Chris Burns

    Joke

    Why does Santa have such a big sack? Because he only comes once a year ...
  9. Chris Burns

    Joke

    My new Thai girlfriend said that a small penis didn't really matter that much and shouldn't be an issue in our relationship. I just wish she didn't have it ...
  10. Oh as a side note - one of my hippydippy lib housemates said it looked like the kind of bike the Nazis rode down people with in WW2 ...
  11. Yes. Ducati 860? Had one. Formerly owned/raced by an Alfa mechanic. Oversized tank, barely legal pipes Imola cams. Power started at about 3k and was a torrent from there up. Just below that on the DC beltway, it'd load up and blow 3 ft. flames out of the pipes. Kept the tailgaters off. If it has the Ducati electronic ignition, do not buy it. Mine failed and there was only one replacement at the time - made by Lucas. Cost $1000.00 back in '85. I traded it for an XS850 we'd cafe'd out. That pig couldn't turn a corner but at least it was reliable. quote name="WarBird" post="51
  12. Yes. Ducati 860? Had one. Formerly owned/raced by an Alfa mechanic. Oversized tank, barely legal pipes Imola cams. Power started at about 3k and was a torrent from there up. Just below that on the DC beltway, it'd load up and blow 3 ft. flames out of the pipes. Kept the tailgaters off. If it has the Ducati electronic ignition, do not buy it. Mine failed and there was only one replacement at the time - made by Lucas. Cost $1000.00 back in '85. I traded it for an XS850 we'd cafe'd out. That pig couldn't turn a corner but at least it was reliable. quote name="WarBird" post="51
  13. Chris Burns

    Joke

    Why are the streets of Paris lined with trees? The German army prefers to march in the shade.
  14. Chris Burns

    Joke

    OMG! Heard that one years ago about a guy doing his first jump in the 101st. Good then. I like it better Frenchified.
  15. Chris Burns

    Joke

    They'd have loved her in Greco-Roman times - Venus/Aphridite reborn. As-is I don't think she could drown, unless like cats and tris she floats bottom up and doesn't self-right...😛 Interesting topic - any naval architect here wanna attempt a righting curve on Kim?
  16. Chris Burns

    Joke

    Didja hear about the new standard feature on Chevy pickups? Heated bumpers So your hands don't get cold when you have to push in the winter
  17. Chris Burns

    Joke

    That look says " I'll never live long enough to work long enough to pay for 4 college educations _and_ 4 weddings. Doubt he'll have any trouble marrying them off - very attractive family.
  18. Do you feel lucky, punk? Well, do you?
  19. I _think_that was sarcasm. I'm with Gator on this one, though. Troubling is a massive understatement. Given that Google has rolled on providing search characteristic data and Verizon is rolling on customer call logs (heard that one on NPR IIRC this AM) that's very troubling. Heck, if you're anything of a news junkie with any more curiosity than a planarian, you'll be showing up on some nosy-parker's list pdq.
  20. Chris Burns

    Joke

    The Francophones are likely to be far more "cussed" to deal with, but that may be worth it if you like poutine.
  21. Thank you for keeping this one going, gents. The whole thing reeks to high Heaven, although it will probably be overshadowed by the Benghazi affair.
  22. It would also make a great false flag excuse for 2nd Amendment restrictions in this country It would also make a great false flag excuse for 2nd Amendment restrictions in this country
  23. If i didn't screw up the link, its worth a look see.
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