hmsmweasel 11 Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 get busy living, or get busy dying Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J T 0 Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 Chinaman is not the preffered nominclature, Dude. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
shaggy 1,095 Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 I'll have you know my ancestors got kicked out of some of the best countries in Europe. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
shaggy 1,095 Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 And if you screw up just this much, you’ll be flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
House Salad 5 Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 No doubt, love, but as long as people are still having promiscuous sex with many anonymous partners without protection while at the same time experimenting with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence-free environment, I'll be sound as a pound! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
House Salad 5 Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
maxstaylock 378 Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mainsheetsister 188 Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kirwan 324 Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 Pain heals, Chicks dig scars, Glory lasts forever (might be the motto of the foredeck union) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Random Thom 0 Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 We have an injured rabbit, also. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daffyd 1 Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 It's not that I don't like women, I just deny them my essence Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Throatwarbler-Mangrove 33 Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 Why does everyone think I'm paranoid? Do you discuss this behind my back? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
artie_pitt 11 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 That's not Winston........ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Grabbler 362 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 Well I don't wanna break up the meeting or nothin', but she's somethin' of a cunt, ain't she Doc? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SloopJonB 12,545 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 The meaning of life is.....42. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SloopJonB 12,545 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 I don't LOSE arguments on board my ship - that's one of the nice things about being captain. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
hobie18rich 3 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 Would you like to play a game? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gouvernail 3,934 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 All the way down Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wet Spreaders 305 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 I'm sorry, Dave; I'm afraid I can't do that. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SloopJonB 12,545 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 Dave's not here. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Timo42 73 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 I remember every detail. The Germans wore gray, you wore blue. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
George Dewey 119 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 What, behind the rabbit? It issssss the rabbit... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Maxx Baqustae 323 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 That's no ordinary rabbit !!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
greasy al 58 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 If you're gonna shoot, shoot. Don't talk. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twister 0 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 I thought you said 100 soldiers at 6 feet tall. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Willin' 1,691 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 Think ya used enough dynamite, Butch? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mainsheetsister 188 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 Be vewwy, vewwy quiet...I'm hunting wabbits! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DRIFTW00D 140 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1ypn0y32Ac Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DRIFTW00D 140 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DRIFTW00D 140 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bump-n-Grind 2,641 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 Mr. President, we must not allow a mineshaft gap! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DRIFTW00D 140 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
phillysailor 3,432 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad From a worn-out picture that my mother'd had, And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye. He was big and bent and gray and old, And I looked at him and my blood ran cold And I said: "My name is 'Sue!' How do you do! Now your gonna die!!" Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes And he went down, but to my surprise, He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear. But I busted a chair right across his teeth And we crashed through the wall and into the street Kicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer. I tell ya, I've fought tougher men But I really can't remember when, He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Good Times 0 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 Send in the car Quote Link to post Share on other sites
buzzardsbay105 0 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 If it flies, floats or fucks, it's cheaper to rent. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daffyd 1 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 Leave the gun, take the conolli Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mbuller 0 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 "And this ain't a Ham on Rye"..... "I would have been hear earlier, but I had to think up that Ham on Rye line".... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Black Sox 1,125 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 "You want the truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GCADDY 4 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 I bet you're the kind of guy who would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
shaggy 1,095 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 The meaning of life is.....42. No, The answer to the ultimate question is 42. Only monty python knows the meaning of life and he aint telling... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dakotasailor 12 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 What's a dazzling urbanite like you doing in a rustic setting like this? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Spaceman 0 Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 diesels love their oil Quote Link to post Share on other sites
pbd 262 Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 We'll come in low out of the rising sun and about a mile out we'll put on the music Quote Link to post Share on other sites
chaosmaster 0 Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 Are you the police? No Maam, we're musicians. We're on a mission from God! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daffyd 1 Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 We're back in the shadows again Back where an injuns your friend Where the vegetables are green And you can pee right in the stream (and that's important friends) We're back in the shadows again Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bump-n-Grind 2,641 Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 Why she's no fun, she fell right over. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CyberBOB 41 Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 diesels love their oil Like sailors love their rum. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mad 3,970 Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 We grow copious amounts of ganja, yah? And you're carrying a wasted girl and a bag of fertilizer. You don't look like your average horti-fucking- culturalist! That's what I mean Willie. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bump-n-Grind 2,641 Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 You can sit here in the waiting room, or you can wait here in the sitting room. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
shaggy 1,095 Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 Look! We're not worried about the German army, we've got enough troubles of our own. To the right General Patton, to the left the British Army, to the rear our own goddamn artillery, and besides all that it's raining. And the only good thing to say about the weather: it keeps our air corps from blowing us all to Hell because its too lousy to fly, versteh? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
hmsmweasel 11 Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 The only thing I want to hear out of your mouth is "ham or turkey" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daffyd 1 Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 It's an old Mount Prospect police car. It's got cop tires, cop shocks and a cop motor. So, is this the new Blue's Mobile or what? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Steam Flyer 8,371 Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 You can sit here in the waiting room, or you can wait here in the sitting room. How did you get in here? You don't have a key! FB- Doug (or someone like him) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
hobie18rich 3 Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 Come on, boys! The way you're lollygaggin' around here with them picks and them shovels, you'd think it was a hundert an' twenty degrees!... Can't be more than a hundert an' fourteen! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
pbd 262 Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Danceswithoctopus 484 Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 You can sit here in the waiting room, or you can wait here in the sitting room. How did you get in here? You don't have a key! FB- Doug (or someone like him) Oh! You mean the old Same place! You can't get there from here. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Pete M 11 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 Lucy!... you got some 'splainin' to do! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jerseyguy 1,703 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 ipso facto quod erat demonstrandum Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mainsheetsister 188 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor. Would you be mine? Could you be mine? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Max Rockatansky 913 Posted August 9, 2013 Author Share Posted August 9, 2013 Mongo only pawn in game of life Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bowman81 133 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 No No don't shot him. You'll just make him angry Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bruce T. Shark 10 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 I'm rooting for the Alligator! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Winever 0 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 I thought you said your dog did not bite.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RI Grinder 0 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 Police Chief Hubbard:: Is this the gentleman who crashed through Victor Maitland's window? Who disabled an unmarked unit with a banana? Lieutenant Bogomil: Yes, sir. Police Chief Hubbard: Who lured Taggart and Rosemont into a gross dereliction of duty at a strip-tease establishment? Detective Rosewood: Uh, it's Rosewood, sir. Lieutenant Bogomil: Yes, sir. Police Chief Hubbard: Is this the gentleman who ruined the buffet at the Harrow club this morning? Lieutenant Bogomil: Yes, sir. Police Chief Hubbard: I just bet that you are the pride of your department in Detroit. Lieutenant, I'd like to see you in your office. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
House Salad 5 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 What about these pants I got on, you think they're O.K.? Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing along, you get thirsty, you spot a little brook, you put your little deer lips down to the cool clear water... BAM! A fuckin bullet rips off part of your head! Your brains are laying on the ground in little bloody pieces! Now I ask ya. Would you give a fuck what kind of pants the son of a bitch who shot you was wearing? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
House Salad 5 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
House Salad 5 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
hobie18rich 3 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 There’s no way, no way… that you could come from my loins. When I get home, the first thing I’m gonna do is punch your mama in the mouth. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
artie_pitt 11 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 You're doing the litmus configuration? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
House Salad 5 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 You mean you busted out of jail? No, ma'am. We released ourselves on our own recognizance. What Evelle here is trying to say is that we felt that the institution no longer had anything to offer us. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
USA190520 17 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 Damn that's some good coffee, I mean me and Vincent woulda been happy with some freeze dried tasters choice but you go and bust out the gourmet shit.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
swims4USA 0 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 Ryan, be careful. Some things in here don't react well to bullets. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bgrnyrz 0 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 This isn't a bender....it's just nightime.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GCADDY 4 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 How often does the train go by? So often you won't even notice it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mjsander 0 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
pbd 262 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 You're neither. You're an errand boy sent by grocery clerks to collect a bill. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
10thTonner 471 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 I really can't believe you're a pro because I am so much better than you. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
artie_pitt 11 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 Earn this.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Winever 0 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 It shall be life..... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mainsheetsister 188 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 I am Jack's smirking revenge. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
atoyot 174 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 I'm Brian! And so is my wife! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daffyd 1 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 Of course this is a friendly call Dmitri. If it wasn't friendly, I wouldn't be calling you. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
juswannagofast 2 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 I'm going to bend her over a barrel and show her the fifty states. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
hobie18rich 3 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 There are a lot of great women out there, but not all of them bring you lasagna. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
juswannagofast 2 Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 So you took the penis foods as an invitation to fuck her? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Catalina 36 0 Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 “Look, let's start with some tough love, all right? Ready for this? Here goes: You two suck at peddling meth. Period.” Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bob Perry 1,330 Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 This one here's a woolly bugger. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sailbydate 3,604 Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 It just is. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
juswannagofast 2 Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 Here's a scenario for you. Lets say Nancy catches me getting out of the shower. And she thinks I look good. And she sees my chest pubes all the way down to my ball fro, and she says iv'e had the old bull, now I want the young calve. Then she grabs me by the wiener. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bump-n-Grind 2,641 Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 Mandrake, do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk... ice cream. Ice cream, Mandrake, children's ice cream. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
swims4USA 0 Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 It's easy to grin, when your ship comes in and you've got the stock market beat. But a man worthwhile, is a man that can smile, when his shorts are too tight in the seat! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
atoyot 174 Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 Ooooohhh.I guess that's really gonna be clean now.
Recommended Posts