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I got divorced today.


DaveK

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This thread has diversity!

 

And how come the better looking they are, the more crazy they are?

Because statistically, they deal with more douchebags during the course of life...that's my guess... so by the time they get to you its "douche bag until proven otherwise" or as a guy would say, "crazy".
Some are just nuts straight outta the womb too. The kind where the only fix is a moonless night, a shovel, and a bag of lime.

Yeah. My Ex was pretty damn hot when we met. There should have been a red flag when I found she had very few friends and was estranged from her family.

But 99% of the time, she was fun. Then you get a crock pot thrown at you when you ask where the car keys are.

 

"OK, I'm just going to keep looking for them. I'll fix the wall this weekend."

Borderline Personality Disorder?

 

 

I'm not perfect either but yeah, there's something wrong in there.

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I'ts been about 5 years since the papers were signed for us. Married 22 years with a then 21 yo son still living at home. She moved north to be with her man while I kept the house. There were a lot of ghosts but after a year or two got all of that out, new furniture, new paint, new woman. Things are good now, Downside is that my Boy moved near mom and I only see him when he comes back into town. That's my only regret from the whole situation. It seems to have worked out for the best for both of us.

parents are divorced and live 15 miles from each other. My brother lives 90 miles away from them and my sister and myself along with their grandchildren love 300 miles away.

 

A divorce isnt the only reason to not to see your kids. If you want to see him more try visiting him. It is something I can't seem to get my parents to do. It is like they wanted grandkids but since they aren't in the same town it is too far to visit.

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I'll eat any amount of shit to stay in our children's lives everyday. I want to be around as long as possible to help them however I can.

Case in point. A friend of mine, a CTO of a biotech company, found out his wife was sleeping with the kids' coach. He called her on it and told her that if she'd give up her lover he'd forget it ever happened. She refused to make a choice, thinking somehow she could keep both. He started the divorce process, she lawyered up, he didn't. With the little money he had left he bought a sailboat and sailed to the South Pacific. His 7-year-old boy, previously a fun kid, stopped talking. Really just stopped talking to everybody. Threw everything but his bed and a computer out of his room and pretty much lives in there. Breaks my heart.

 

In my humble opinion you gotta hang in there until the youngest is about 14.

Yep. Old enough to realize it's not 'their fault' and choose who they want to live with.

That's what I was thinking with Islander's thing ... If that coach was the boy's coach, I bet he blamed himself. The dad should probably have not left to the SP, regardless what a raging selfish his wife was. I get it though, when you lose something you want to throw the rest away too sometimes.

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But that's where you have to put all the anger and selfish feelings aside and focus on the kids, let them know they're loved and do your best to keep them on track no matter what.

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I divorced my first wife when my daughter was 5 years old. The ex knew I was a good father so the only thing we didn't argue about in the divorce was our daughter. We had joint custody and I could see my daughter any time I liked and I flew her to Germany every summer for a couple of months. My ex died of breast cancer at age 46 when my daughter was 10, don't take this the wrong way, it was a very sad thing, but it was the best thing that ever happened. I went back to the US and brought my daughter to live with me in Germany. I got her through the "difficult"years without too much trauma and we are very close. She moved back to the US when she was 18 and we talk all of the time on Skype. I go back at least every other year to visit and I have brought her to Europe as well. My daughter and I have always gotten along well but I imagine had her mother lived, we would have a different kind of relationship. Still good but different. As my daughter says, I am the only parent she has and I tell her that she is my only child so we're even.

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Ok can all the happily married people now fuck off.

Still fucking off after 40 years
*golf clap*

Thank you. I was keeping out of this--- but since others were being wise asses about my post. I felt an honest response was appropriate.

 

Actually having a good relationship is fairly easy, if you find a reasonable person. Requires mutual respect and sometimes each putting the other person first. And adhering to the following, at least in principle.

 

Old Armenian wedding toast: Each day, the wife should make the bed with a pretty cover and pillows. So when you come to bed that night you know you are in a special place where the worries of the world do not matter. Each night take all the pillows, but one, and place them in the corner. The two of you should sleep each night sharing the same pillow. This is so you remember that your are like two oxen pulling the same plow and will only succeed if you work as a team. This also ensures that you never go to sleep angry at each other, as sleeping on an argument never makes it better.

 

If you can do that with the person you wish to have a relationship with I garuntee you a long relationship.

 

Cheers

 

 

Happy as an Ox cuz ya don't know any better

 

oxteamsaletop_376.jpg

 

 

OR Enjoy the Oxygen of Life

 

 

 

 

82292-Oxygen-Is-More-Important.jpg

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The best way to stay happy is to stay stupid. Sometimes that's easy, sometimes it ain't.

 

 

Really? Stay Stupid?

After the idiots you see rioting on the news?

 

The only to stay one step ahead it to stay smart.

 

 

 

 

Having said that, I've been married 30 years and she has more $$$$ than me because her father passed.

I'm thinking of bailing and going sailing with a younger crowd, Land Sailing and my Bruce King 26

I'll settle for nothing because I want the house I paid for with my legs. She can have everything she inherited, which is more than I have.

 

move along now.....................

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Happy as an Ox cuz ya don't know any better

The essence of truth, Sage Woody!

 

The best way to stay happy is to stay stupid. Sometimes that's easy, sometimes it ain't.

 

 

 

Ahhha it's starting to become clear

 

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The best way to stay happy is to stay stupid. Sometimes that's easy, sometimes it ain't.

 

 

Really? Stay Stupid?

After the idiots you see rioting on the news?

 

The only to stay one step ahead it to stay smart.

 

 

 

 

Having said that, I've been married 30 years and she has more $$$$ than me because her father passed.

I'm thinking of bailing and going sailing with a younger crowd, Land Sailing and my Bruce King 26

I'll settle for nothing because I want the house I paid for with my legs. She can have everything she inherited, which is more than I have.

 

move along now.....................

 

 

 

Stupid :)

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Why do people get married?

I don't mean why do people co habit with the opposite (or same) sex..but why do people do that thing with a celebrant ?

I can understand the ones that want to have a party to celebrate a love and commitment,with some sort of public vows ,but why do it two or three times over?

The first time is supposed to be for keeps..If that fails..doing it again seems a little ...I dunno..pointless. ,

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Why do people get married?

I don't mean why do people co habit with the opposite (or same) sex..but why do people do that thing with a celebrant ?

I can understand the ones that want to have a party to celebrate a love and commitment,with some sort of public vows ,but why do it two or three times over?

The first time is supposed to be for keeps..If that fails..doing it again seems a little ...I dunno..pointless. ,

It isn't pointless if you marry a different woman each time. Duh!

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Why not just live together? Makes no difference if your married or de facto if it ends.

You can still have a party when the dog and tools move in. :)

All the long term defacto couples I know seem to split,(if they do split) with better relations..That word..Divorce..seems to have some strange power that encourages ill will..lawyers, and general bloodymindedness.

 

I would never,ever marry again. Theres simply no point..I've made a will giving everything to my kids. Having no more children and being financially independent..There is no way I'd risk going through that divorce hell again,

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After reading the insulting posts, I first wanted to post a pithy and equally insulting response Then I saw the irony of those posts in a thread like this.

 

Suddenly it all made sense---- flame away.

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The best way to stay happy is to stay stupid. Sometimes that's easy, sometimes it ain't.

 

Well, mike - you're doing a fine job of that. I guess it comes easy for you.

It's getting easier, i appreciate your mentorship.

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Why do people get married?

I don't mean why do people co habit with the opposite (or same) sex..but why do people do that thing with a celebrant ?

I can understand the ones that want to have a party to celebrate a love and commitment,with some sort of public vows ,but why do it two or three times over?

The first time is supposed to be for keeps..If that fails..doing it again seems a little ...I dunno..pointless. ,

 

The minister thing? My wife wanted that, only reason. I would have been far happier getting married by a Justice of the Peace or a judge. Dealing the the church we chose as an atheist was a hellish experience.

 

I haven't done it two or three times over...done it once.

 

But, with marriage come certain different social situations and obligations. Being married removes all the ambiguity, socially, and there are many more rights and privileges assumed because you are married that don't automatically apply in the US if you aren't. For example, if I was in a car accident, no one would question for one second my wife staying by my side, because she's my wife. She's my next of kin. A girlfriend? How is the ER staff to even know I didn't pick her up in a bar last weekend, that she's anything but a life partner.

 

Again, social assumptions, conventions and mores apply. It's one of the reasons that gay "Marriage" as opposed to "Civil Unions" was such a big deal.

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thats a bit weird..the hospital thing..

Here you can be shacked up for a week and still claim spousal status in the event of death(if you can show joint bank accounts, a lease in both names etc) and still claim spousal status in the event of death..even inherit if the deceased is intestate, claim the superanuation of the deceased, be paid compo if industrial death..all the rights of a legally married spouse.

Even if the deceased has young kids by another legal marriage.

(I had to settle one of these compo claims years ago and had to use discretionary powers)

 

It can suck big time..but I suppose the courts know what they are doing in the bigger picture.

 

Whatever you do..MAKE A LEGAL WILL!!

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Why do people get married?

I don't mean why do people co habit with the opposite (or same) sex..but why do people do that thing with a celebrant ?

I can understand the ones that want to have a party to celebrate a love and commitment,with some sort of public vows ,but why do it two or three times over?

The first time is supposed to be for keeps..If that fails..doing it again seems a little ...I dunno..pointless. ,

 

The minister thing? My wife wanted that, only reason. I would have been far happier getting married by a Justice of the Peace or a judge. Dealing the the church we chose as an atheist was a hellish experience.

 

I haven't done it two or three times over...done it once.

 

But, with marriage come certain different social situations and obligations. Being married removes all the ambiguity, socially, and there are many more rights and privileges assumed because you are married that don't automatically apply in the US if you aren't. For example, if I was in a car accident, no one would question for one second my wife staying by my side, because she's my wife. She's my next of kin. A girlfriend? How is the ER staff to even know I didn't pick her up in a bar last weekend, that she's anything but a life partner.

 

Again, social assumptions, conventions and mores apply. It's one of the reasons that gay "Marriage" as opposed to "Civil Unions" was such a big deal.

 

 

Neither of us wanted the Minister thing, but it was a big deal for her folks, and the Grandparents.

We got married in a ruined Abbey, on an island, with no electricity.

We took a 'rent-a-vicar' over in a boat, who performed the ceremony for a Scottish 12yr old (i know its the church, but it was a whisky..!)

Everyone happy!

It was Friday 13th, and it didn't rain, and the boat didn't sink.

A grand day out, as they say.

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Actually I meant married by a celebrant as in civil ceremony. But same thing..why do it at all..unless there are different legal implications..as appears to be the case outside OZ.

I remember now..brits dont fully recognise common law spouses either :unsure:

 

In fact thats why we got married after 10 years of perfectly happy co habitation..to get him a UK work visa.. :rolleyes: how could I have forgotten that

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:wacko: ?

Poor Mad is going, well, mad.

A natural state of being?

 

 

 

It was in response to the post below, but yes, quite possibly going Mad. :)

 

After reading the insulting posts, I first wanted to post a pithy and equally insulting response Then I saw the irony of those posts in a thread like this.

 

Suddenly it all made sense---- flame away.

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Whatever you do..MAKE A LEGAL WILL!!

 

That is something I need to do. My ex is actually still listed as the beneficiary on all of my accounts along with insurance. I have no idea who else to list it as. My 19 yo son isn't gonna be it. He's totally fuked up right now. I have an older sister that I could change it too but that really doesn't make sense either so I haven't done anything about it. Kinda weird when your filling out paper work and they ask for an emergency contact and I have no idea who to put there except maybe a good friend of mine.

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Whatever you do..MAKE A LEGAL WILL!!

That is something I need to do. My ex is actually still listed as the beneficiary on all of my accounts along with insurance. I have no idea who else to list it as. My 19 yo son isn't gonna be it. He's totally fuked up right now. I have an older sister that I could change it too but that really doesn't make sense either so I haven't done anything about it. Kinda weird when your filling out paper work and they ask for an emergency contact and I have no idea who to put there except maybe a good friend of mine.

List your attorney. As long as there are billable hours, you can be sure that nobody will fight harder to keep you alive.

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The son thing mentioned by dave brings up something I've thought about. You always hear that you don't want the kids blaming themselves for the split, which is noble. But as we grow to realize that kids are individuals whose actions and attitudes can veer far from anything we have ever modeled or instructed, it becomes reasonable to recognize that a split can be necessary from the whole family, not just the spouse. I am not saying this is the case with dave or anybody here,just that as I grow older and less

idealistic I am accepting that the kid factor is less black and white than I once felt.

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The son thing mentioned by dave brings up something I've thought about. You always hear that you don't want the kids blaming themselves for the split, which is noble. But as we grow to realize that kids are individuals whose actions and attitudes can veer far from anything we have ever modeled or instructed, it becomes reasonable to recognize that a split can be necessary from the whole family, not just the spouse. I am not saying this is the case with dave or anybody here,just that as I grow older and less

idealistic I am accepting that the kid factor is less black and white than I once felt.

 

95% of why I am divorced is because of how we differed on raising the single son. She wanted to be his best friend and he wasn't held responsible for anything. They all live together with her mother now in San Antonio and she recently just gave him her car which apparently he has trashed and has her name on it (stupid). The son hates me as I'm the only one who disciplined him. Maybe that'll change one day but right now I could care less about him. He had a bank account that had my name on it and my ex's name as well. She text me to call my son since she is worried about him since he got fired from a job but has this magical money going into his account. This is at 8pm that night and about $2400 in deposits appeared. It was too late to call and get my name off the account so I waited till morning to call. This was last week btw. By the time I got up and looked, the account had grown to $5400 and had a big red HOLD next to it. He was depositing fake checks and the bank knew something was wrong. It took me 2 hours of talking on the phone and $650 of over drawn money to pay to get my name off that account. I still wanna kill that fucker for committing felony fraud and theft and costing me a load of money. He never returned any of my calls and haven't heard anything of the outcome. Some people need to end up in jail flat on their face before they'll change and unfortunately this is one of those people. This is just the most recent example of many extreme offenses this kid has done over the past 4 years.

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The son thing mentioned by dave brings up something I've thought about. You always hear that you don't want the kids blaming themselves for the split, which is noble. But as we grow to realize that kids are individuals whose actions and attitudes can veer far from anything we have ever modeled or instructed, it becomes reasonable to recognize that a split can be necessary from the whole family, not just the spouse. I am not saying this is the case with dave or anybody here,just that as I grow older and less

idealistic I am accepting that the kid factor is less black and white than I once felt.

 

95% of why I am divorced is because of how we differed on raising the single son. She wanted to be his best friend and he wasn't held responsible for anything. They all live together with her mother now in San Antonio and she recently just gave him her car which apparently he has trashed and has her name on it (stupid). The son hates me as I'm the only one who disciplined him. Maybe that'll change one day but right now I could care less about him. He had a bank account that had my name on it and my ex's name as well. She text me to call my son since she is worried about him since he got fired from a job but has this magical money going into his account. This is at 8pm that night and about $2400 in deposits appeared. It was too late to call and get my name off the account so I waited till morning to call. This was last week btw. By the time I got up and looked, the account had grown to $5400 and had a big red HOLD next to it. He was depositing fake checks and the bank knew something was wrong. It took me 2 hours of talking on the phone and $650 of over drawn money to pay to get my name off that account. I still wanna kill that fucker for committing felony fraud and theft and costing me a load of money. He never returned any of my calls and haven't heard anything of the outcome. Some people need to end up in jail flat on their face before they'll change and unfortunately this is one of those people. This is just the most recent example of many extreme offenses this kid has done over the past 4 years.

That truly sucks, a really shit situation to have to deal with. Thank god I don't have any of that shit to deal with. You have my sympathies.
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For those pulling a cart rather than enjoying Steak & BlowJob Daz



And as a perfect them song for this thread



I offer (shot by me thank you)







posted in wrong thread earlier :-O


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:wacko: ?

Poor Mad is going, well, mad.

A natural state of being?

 

 

 

It was in response to the post below, but yes, quite possibly going Mad. :)

 

After reading the insulting posts, I first wanted to post a pithy and equally insulting response Then I saw the irony of those posts in a thread like this.

 

Suddenly it all made sense---- flame away.

 

 

 

My post was in response to posts 327 and 328 that seemed to indicate an ignorance of worldly matters. Clearly I was under-caffeinated this morning as my comment was unclear.

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:wacko: ?

Poor Mad is going, well, mad.

A natural state of being?

 

 

 

It was in response to the post below, but yes, quite possibly going Mad. :)

 

After reading the insulting posts, I first wanted to post a pithy and equally insulting response Then I saw the irony of those posts in a thread like this.

 

Suddenly it all made sense---- flame away.

 

 

 

My post was in response to posts 327 and 328 that seemed to indicate an ignorance of worldly matters. Clearly I was under-caffeinated this morning as my comment was unclear.

 

 

My you are sew flattering today B)

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:wacko: ?

 

Poor Mad is going, well, mad.

A natural state of being?

,

 

It was in response to the post below, but yes, quite possibly going Mad. :)

 

After reading the insulting posts, I first wanted to post a pithy and equally insulting response Then I saw the irony of those posts in a thread like this.

Suddenly it all made sense---- flame away.

 

 

My post was in response to posts 327 and 328 that seemed to indicate an ignorance of worldly matters. Clearly I was under-caffeinated this morning as my comment was unclear.

Got it.

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DaveK here is an Un-Wedding song for ya to sing

The WOGGLES "JEZEBEL" - @ TIKI OASIS 2016

"NO You can NEVER Leave" Otto says You MUST Play MOORE !!

 

 

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I divorced my first wife when my daughter was 5 years old. The ex knew I was a good father so the only thing we didn't argue about in the divorce was our daughter. We had joint custody and I could see my daughter any time I liked and I flew her to Germany every summer for a couple of months. My ex died of breast cancer at age 46 when my daughter was 10, don't take this the wrong way, it was a very sad thing, but it was the best thing that ever happened. I went back to the US and brought my daughter to live with me in Germany. I got her through the "difficult"years without too much trauma and we are very close. She moved back to the US when she was 18 and we talk all of the time on Skype. I go back at least every other year to visit and I have brought her to Europe as well. My daughter and I have always gotten along well but I imagine had her mother lived, we would have a different kind of relationship. Still good but different. As my daughter says, I am the only parent she has and I tell her that she is my only child so we're even.

Why did you leave your daughter when she was 5? Why did you not move back to the States when her mother died?

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Why not just live together? Makes no difference if your married or de facto if it ends.

You can still have a party when the dog and tools move in. :)

All the long term defacto couples I know seem to split,(if they do split) with better relations..That word..Divorce..seems to have some strange power that encourages ill will..lawyers, and general bloodymindedness.

 

I would never,ever marry again. Theres simply no point..I've made a will giving everything to my kids. Having no more children and being financially independent..There is no way I'd risk going through that divorce hell again,

Women get all the pussy for obvious reasons. The only way they get half the money, all the pension, all the SSI is to get married.

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Whatever you do..MAKE A LEGAL WILL!!

That is something I need to do. My ex is actually still listed as the beneficiary on all of my accounts along with insurance. I have no idea who else to list it as. My 19 yo son isn't gonna be it. He's totally fuked up right now. I have an older sister that I could change it too but that really doesn't make sense either so I haven't done anything about it. Kinda weird when your filling out paper work and they ask for an emergency contact and I have no idea who to put there except maybe a good friend of mine.

Create a trust. Kid is beneficiary but can't collect till he turns 30, 25, 40 (YMMV) sister is trustee.

 

Don't pay a lawyer do it via Legal ZOOM or buy the DIY books from Nolo Prest. But follow ALL the directions

 

EDIT just read later post. Make someone else the beneficiary. Sisters kids. Surf rider Foundation. Me. But do the trust thing.

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Whatever you do..MAKE A LEGAL WILL!!

That is something I need to do. My ex is actually still listed as the beneficiary on all of my accounts along with insurance. I have no idea who else to list it as. My 19 yo son isn't gonna be it. He's totally fuked up right now. I have an older sister that I could change it too but that really doesn't make sense either so I haven't done anything about it. Kinda weird when your filling out paper work and they ask for an emergency contact and I have no idea who to put there except maybe a good friend of mine.

Create a trust. Kid is beneficiary but can't collect till he turns 30, 25, 40 (YMMV) sister is trustee.

Don't pay a lawyer do it via Legal ZOOM or buy the DIY books from Nolo Prest. But follow ALL the directions

EDIT just read later post. Make someone else the beneficiary. Sisters kids. Surf rider Foundation. Me. But do the trust thing.

 

 

 

Whatever you do..MAKE A LEGAL WILL!!

That is something I need to do. My ex is actually still listed as the beneficiary on all of my accounts along with insurance. I have no idea who else to list it as. My 19 yo son isn't gonna be it. He's totally fuked up right now. I have an older sister that I could change it too but that really doesn't make sense either so I haven't done anything about it. Kinda weird when your filling out paper work and they ask for an emergency contact and I have no idea who to put there except maybe a good friend of mine.

Create a trust. Kid is beneficiary but can't collect till he turns 30, 25, 40 (YMMV) sister is trustee.

Don't pay a lawyer do it via Legal ZOOM or buy the DIY books from Nolo Prest. But follow ALL the directions

EDIT just read later post. Make someone else the beneficiary. Sisters kids. Surf rider Foundation. Me. But do the trust thing.

 

Still doesn't solve the next of kin issue on the paperwork though.

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Whatever you do..MAKE A LEGAL WILL!!

That is something I need to do. My ex is actually still listed as the beneficiary on all of my accounts along with insurance. I have no idea who else to list it as. My 19 yo son isn't gonna be it. He's totally fuked up right now. I have an older sister that I could change it too but that really doesn't make sense either so I haven't done anything about it. Kinda weird when your filling out paper work and they ask for an emergency contact and I have no idea who to put there except maybe a good friend of mine.
Create a trust. Kid is beneficiary but can't collect till he turns 30, 25, 40 (YMMV) sister is trustee. Don't pay a lawyer do it via Legal ZOOM or buy the DIY books from Nolo Prest. But follow ALL the directionsEDIT just read later post. Make someone else the beneficiary. Sisters kids. Surf rider Foundation. Me. But do the trust thing.

 

 

 

Whatever you do..MAKE A LEGAL WILL!!
That is something I need to do. My ex is actually still listed as the beneficiary on all of my accounts along with insurance. I have no idea who else to list it as. My 19 yo son isn't gonna be it. He's totally fuked up right now. I have an older sister that I could change it too but that really doesn't make sense either so I haven't done anything about it. Kinda weird when your filling out paper work and they ask for an emergency contact and I have no idea who to put there except maybe a good friend of mine.
Create a trust. Kid is beneficiary but can't collect till he turns 30, 25, 40 (YMMV) sister is trustee. Don't pay a lawyer do it via Legal ZOOM or buy the DIY books from Nolo Prest. But follow ALL the directionsEDIT just read later post. Make someone else the beneficiary. Sisters kids. Surf rider Foundation. Me. But do the trust thing.
Still doesn't solve the next of kin issue on the paperwork though.

 

Pick a cause you believe in, pick the charity with low operating costs. Somebody will appreciate your life (or at least death).

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Whatever you do..MAKE A LEGAL WILL!!

That is something I need to do. My ex is actually still listed as the beneficiary on all of my accounts along with insurance. I have no idea who else to list it as. My 19 yo son isn't gonna be it. He's totally fuked up right now. I have an older sister that I could change it too but that really doesn't make sense either so I haven't done anything about it. Kinda weird when your filling out paper work and they ask for an emergency contact and I have no idea who to put there except maybe a good friend of mine.
Create a trust. Kid is beneficiary but can't collect till he turns 30, 25, 40 (YMMV) sister is trustee. Don't pay a lawyer do it via Legal ZOOM or buy the DIY books from Nolo Prest. But follow ALL the directionsEDIT just read later post. Make someone else the beneficiary. Sisters kids. Surf rider Foundation. Me. But do the trust thing.

 

 

 

Whatever you do..MAKE A LEGAL WILL!!
That is something I need to do. My ex is actually still listed as the beneficiary on all of my accounts along with insurance. I have no idea who else to list it as. My 19 yo son isn't gonna be it. He's totally fuked up right now. I have an older sister that I could change it too but that really doesn't make sense either so I haven't done anything about it. Kinda weird when your filling out paper work and they ask for an emergency contact and I have no idea who to put there except maybe a good friend of mine.
Create a trust. Kid is beneficiary but can't collect till he turns 30, 25, 40 (YMMV) sister is trustee. Don't pay a lawyer do it via Legal ZOOM or buy the DIY books from Nolo Prest. But follow ALL the directionsEDIT just read later post. Make someone else the beneficiary. Sisters kids. Surf rider Foundation. Me. But do the trust thing.
Still doesn't solve the next of kin issue on the paperwork though.

 

Pick a cause you believe in, pick the charity with low operating costs. Somebody will appreciate your life (or at least death).

 

Make the trust the beneficiary of everything so it's all in one place (and no probate, taxes etc) and make the charity the beneficiary of the trust

Doesn't help with the emergency contact though

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Whatever you do..MAKE A LEGAL WILL!!
That is something I need to do. My ex is actually still listed as the beneficiary on all of my accounts along with insurance. I have no idea who else to list it as. My 19 yo son isn't gonna be it. He's totally fuked up right now. I have an older sister that I could change it too but that really doesn't make sense either so I haven't done anything about it. Kinda weird when your filling out paper work and they ask for an emergency contact and I have no idea who to put there except maybe a good friend of mine.
Create a trust. Kid is beneficiary but can't collect till he turns 30, 25, 40 (YMMV) sister is trustee. Don't pay a lawyer do it via Legal ZOOM or buy the DIY books from Nolo Prest. But follow ALL the directionsEDIT just read later post. Make someone else the beneficiary. Sisters kids. Surf rider Foundation. Me. But do the trust thing.

 

 

 

Whatever you do..MAKE A LEGAL WILL!!
That is something I need to do. My ex is actually still listed as the beneficiary on all of my accounts along with insurance. I have no idea who else to list it as. My 19 yo son isn't gonna be it. He's totally fuked up right now. I have an older sister that I could change it too but that really doesn't make sense either so I haven't done anything about it. Kinda weird when your filling out paper work and they ask for an emergency contact and I have no idea who to put there except maybe a good friend of mine.
Create a trust. Kid is beneficiary but can't collect till he turns 30, 25, 40 (YMMV) sister is trustee. Don't pay a lawyer do it via Legal ZOOM or buy the DIY books from Nolo Prest. But follow ALL the directionsEDIT just read later post. Make someone else the beneficiary. Sisters kids. Surf rider Foundation. Me. But do the trust thing.Still doesn't solve the next of kin issue on the paperwork though.Pick a cause you believe in, pick the charity with low operating costs. Somebody will appreciate your life (or at least death).Make the trust the beneficiary of everything so it's all in one place (and no probate, taxes etc) and make the charity the beneficiary of the trustDoesn't help with the emergency contact though

 

Exactly, somebody's got to tell somebody your dead.

Don't blame me for the quote mess above either.

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^^^^^^^

 


 

I need sooner than later to find a worthy cause and do the Trust thing

 

You would Not believe what FUCKS, FUCKS become when the smell of Money is detected "Even With a TRUST"

 

if you just have a will might as well setup a Trust sending the Money to the Attorneys as they will wind up with it anyway

 

Not planning on going anywhere

 

Just need to make sure the FUCKS who turned into Mega FUCKS over my Mom's Trust - get the proper minimum = $1 each

 

And NEVER get to enjoy what I would have been happy to leave them before the FUCKING

 

Might start a fund to enhance BREASTS on HAWT Chicks............ or some such thing

 

likely should sell a house and start playing with what I would otherwise just leave behind

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Jeez, got to be one of the first posts from you Woody in years that I could actually read and understand. Have you been getting lessons from Snaggy? Because somethings improved.

 

Even more weirdly, I actually agree with you.

 

Best head back to the apocalypse thread, I've seen an omen.

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Oh goody. I'm the executor for my folks. Can't wait...At least my sister is a reverend.

I hope it doesn't get messy. The whole thing is spelled out pretty clearly.

 

Maybe they'll just never die. That would be fine.

 

 

Give it the Messy Test --> Does it involve Money ??

 

if answer Yes or No = Messy

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Oh goody. I'm the executor for my folks. Can't wait...At least my sister is a reverend.

I hope it doesn't get messy. The whole thing is spelled out pretty clearly.

 

Maybe they'll just never die. That would be fine.

Last year we established our family trust, wills, power of attorney, and advanced medical directives. It'll be a cakewalk for our kids. My favorite clause is if any of the 5 of them disputes or contests the will....they are cut out. That should eliminate any temptations.....

 

:)

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Oh goody. I'm the executor for my folks. Can't wait...At least my sister is a reverend.

I hope it doesn't get messy. The whole thing is spelled out pretty clearly.

 

Maybe they'll just never die. That would be fine.

Last year we established our family trust, wills, power of attorney, and advanced medical directives. It'll be a cakewalk for our kids. My favorite clause is if any of the 5 of them disputes or contests the will....they are cut out. That should eliminate any temptations.....

 

:)

 

 

 

HUGE FAIL !!!!!

 

A CUNT who was executor of a resent TRUST thought she had leeway in deciding she could keep the house @ a Deep Discount

 

she thought she could do Anything she wanted and that objecting was disputing or contesting the will

 

I kept saying I had No objection to the writing of the TRUST As long as She Followed it ........

 

TRUST was basically the House, and each person in the TRUST was to get a defined %

 

Eventually she caved after 1 1/2 years claiming a ton of shit as her payment (still Fucking w the #'s)

 

Talk out yer intentions Like House to be offered on Open Market with each having the right to Match Best Offer

 

if you want the Boat to be held for all to use OR Want is SOLD Spell it out

 

Watch for signs ahead of time and address them How You want matters addressed

 

Talk to then about what they might want to do so there is no fighting over Keeping/Selling whatever

 

Ideally you would want to take all but the oldest with you when you go

 

and leave everything to them = No Fighting !!

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Oh goody. I'm the executor for my folks. Can't wait...At least my sister is a reverend.

I hope it doesn't get messy. The whole thing is spelled out pretty clearly.

 

Maybe they'll just never die. That would be fine.

Last year we established our family trust, wills, power of attorney, and advanced medical directives. It'll be a cakewalk for our kids. My favorite clause is if any of the 5 of them disputes or contests the will....they are cut out. That should eliminate any temptations.....

 

:)

If they contest, does their share go to charity, or get redistributed to the siblings? The former seems a better chance to a harmonious outcome.

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Oh goody. I'm the executor for my folks. Can't wait...At least my sister is a reverend.

I hope it doesn't get messy. The whole thing is spelled out pretty clearly.

 

Maybe they'll just never die. That would be fine.

 

 

Give it the Messy Test --> Does it involve Money ??

 

if answer Yes or No = Messy

 

 

I hope not. I don't want to get into it on a public forum.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Edit. Couldn't clean up,the quotes on an IPad. But in response to the news:

 

http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/09/15/494134464/-1-million-of-frugal-librarians-bequest-to-n-h-school-goes-to-football-scoreboar

 

You also need to specify exactly how the money should be spent. This librarians benevolence went to a new scoreboard so his university can better sell football tickets. At least University of New Hampshire is open about what program it sees as most vital to its mission. I'd be rolling over in my grave. I've decided I want my estate to commission the finest yacht imaginable. For a Viking funeral. (Hell no, don't destroy a good boat).

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Ah the viking funeral. Doused in rum and shot at with flaming arrow.

I think a Mac26x would be perfect for the viking funeral. Kill two birds with one arrow..... :lol:

Personally I would ignite on contact in one of those.

 

I deserve a Wally but I would settle for a classic, little, old, wooden sabot.

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You also need to specify exactly how the money should be spent. This librarians benevolence went to a new scoreboard so his university can better sell football tickets. At least University of New Hampshire is open about what program it sees as most vital to its mission.

 

This is the Dumbphuckery I deal with on a daily basis.... Nacra's theory... the more alphabet after your name, the dumber you are.

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Are football programs generally profitable? I mean do they result in $$ to be spent elsewhere in the athletic or other programs? I'd imagine it varies greatly from school to school......

 

My impression is that the better the school does in football, the prouder the alumni are. The prouder the alumni, the more money they donate to the school.

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Are football programs generally profitable? I mean do they result in $$ to be spent elsewhere in the athletic or other programs? I'd imagine it varies greatly from school to school......

 

Yes, but they spend it like a drunken sailor...

 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/sf/sports/wp/2015/11/23/running-up-the-bills/

 

 

Interesting article.....even though its the Washington Post..........seems fairly well considered. They keep referring to the "Athletic Program" instead of the "Football Program". Is football the cash cow that helps support the other sports in addition to its own growth? I would suppose tennis or field hockey are not big spectator events and yet there are students who want to participate. I do think the some of the salaries are excessive...but what is excessive? What the market will bear? Its an interesting notion that all this is driven by the entertainment value and appeal to the general market who is willing to pay.....plenty....for the tickets and merchandise and watch on TV. Seems the line between professional and "amateur" is blurred considerably. I've read several articles on pay for college athletes that make those points.

 

I was not aware there is a general student fee to support athletics??!! That seems wrong.........

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Are football programs generally profitable? I mean do they result in $$ to be spent elsewhere in the athletic or other programs? I'd imagine it varies greatly from school to school......

 

Yes, but they spend it like a drunken sailor...

 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/sf/sports/wp/2015/11/23/running-up-the-bills/

 

 

Is football the cash cow that helps support the other sports in addition to its own growth? ...

 

 

My first job out of college was selling team equipment and uniforms to colleges and high schools, and a few leagues here and there... A HS football team would spend on average of $40K per year (1982 - 1987 dollars) on uniforms, practice gear (spirt packs), equipment and protective gear refurbishment.. Much of this money came from the ticket sales, booster (parents), kids own pockets, and other fund raising things like selling candy bars, magazine subscriptions etc... In many school districts, the district would only cover the cost for the protective gear and stadium/field maintainience and transportation..

 

In most cases the football program hardly gave its money to the other sports..

 

Funny thing... the girls volleyball, soccer, and softballs would sometimes spend more for the spirit packs and never grind me down on the price than the football team.. Much of it came from bake sales and such... one coach told me that her kids would average about $200 per bake sale...

 

And, even more odd, the inner city (read poor) schools would spend even more than let's say Newport Harbor H.S. Washington H.S. in Los Angeles was about a $60K a year account.... I think this was due to none of my competitors would venture in to South Central during the drive-by years.

 

It was a great business to be in while but then the shoe companies whored it up... it turned sour..

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Are football programs generally profitable? I mean do they result in $$ to be spent elsewhere in the athletic or other programs? I'd imagine it varies greatly from school to school......

 

Yes, but they spend it like a drunken sailor...

 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/sf/sports/wp/2015/11/23/running-up-the-bills/

 

 

Is football the cash cow that helps support the other sports in addition to its own growth? ...

 

 

My first job out of college was selling team equipment and uniforms to colleges and high schools, and a few leagues here and there... A HS football team would spend on average of $40K per year (1982 - 1987 dollars) on uniforms, practice gear (spirt packs), equipment and protective gear refurbishment.. Much of this money came from the ticket sales, booster (parents), kids own pockets, and other fund raising things like selling candy bars, magazine subscriptions etc... In many school districts, the district would only cover the cost for the protective gear and stadium/field maintainience and transportation..

 

In most cases the football program hardly gave its money to the other sports..

 

Funny thing... the girls volleyball, soccer, and softballs would sometimes spend more for the spirit packs and never grind me down on the price than the football team.. Much of it came from bake sales and such... one coach told me that her kids would average about $200 per bake sale...

 

And, even more odd, the inner city (read poor) schools would spend even more than let's say Newport Harbor H.S. Washington H.S. in Los Angeles was about a $60K a year account.... I think this was due to none of my competitors would venture in to South Central during the drive-by years.

 

It was a great business to be in while but then the shoe companies whored it up... it turned sour..

 

 

We have kids from the local high school come door to door most every year wearing their jerseys and selling ticket books of local discounts donated by local businesses. They say the money is to buy uniforms or new helmets or....this or that. I always pony up the $20 and use some of the discounts if its convenient. I do it because I enjoyed football in high school and I assume the school budgets are strapped so the kids and parents need to do fund raising to relieve the budget burden. When I went to high school (60's) it was a different time and all the equipment was provided and it didn't cost my parents anything.............of course it was old....used.....ill fitting........and not exactly "state of the art". The tackling dummies were repaired and restitched. The blocking sled was made by the welding class.........It could not possibly have been a very expensive program. I ponder each time I buy the ticket book at how much it seems to have changed from good ole high school football...........

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The tackling dummies were repaired and restitched. The blocking sled was made by the welding class.........It could not possibly have been a very expensive program. I ponder each time I buy the ticket book at how much it seems to have changed from good ole high school football...........

 

 

 

My freshman year I was the tackling dummy... much hasn't changed over the years... Use to get the bejesus beat out of me almost everyday but I kept coming back..... I think it was some of the seniors extracting their revenge on the "ghetto beatings" my older brothers put on them...

 

But, I always made the varsity traveling squad... which was pretty cool for me at that time.. and got in for a couple of plays...

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Are football programs generally profitable? I mean do they result in $$ to be spent elsewhere in the athletic or other programs? I'd imagine it varies greatly from school to school......

Yes, but they spend it like a drunken sailor...

 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/sf/sports/wp/2015/11/23/running-up-the-bills/

Is football the cash cow that helps support the other sports in addition to its own growth? ...

My first job out of college was selling team equipment and uniforms to colleges and high schools, and a few leagues here and there... A HS football team would spend on average of $40K per year (1982 - 1987 dollars) on uniforms, practice gear (spirt packs), equipment and protective gear refurbishment.. Much of this money came from the ticket sales, booster (parents), kids own pockets, and other fund raising things like selling candy bars, magazine subscriptions etc... In many school districts, the district would only cover the cost for the protective gear and stadium/field maintainience and transportation..

 

In most cases the football program hardly gave its money to the other sports..

 

Funny thing... the girls volleyball, soccer, and softballs would sometimes spend more for the spirit packs and never grind me down on the price than the football team.. Much of it came from bake sales and such... one coach told me that her kids would average about $200 per bake sale...

 

And, even more odd, the inner city (read poor) schools would spend even more than let's say Newport Harbor H.S. Washington H.S. in Los Angeles was about a $60K a year account.... I think this was due to none of my competitors would venture in to South Central during the drive-by years.

 

It was a great business to be in while but then the shoe companies whored it up... it turned sour..

At my kids HS the boosters pay for darned near everything. $200k on a weight room. Better than the one at the university I attended. The football stadium is a shit load nicer. I don't understand it at all.

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Are football programs generally profitable? I mean do they result in $$ to be spent elsewhere in the athletic or other programs? I'd imagine it varies greatly from school to school......

Yes, but they spend it like a drunken sailor...

 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/sf/sports/wp/2015/11/23/running-up-the-bills/

Is football the cash cow that helps support the other sports in addition to its own growth? ...

My first job out of college was selling team equipment and uniforms to colleges and high schools, and a few leagues here and there... A HS football team would spend on average of $40K per year (1982 - 1987 dollars) on uniforms, practice gear (spirt packs), equipment and protective gear refurbishment.. Much of this money came from the ticket sales, booster (parents), kids own pockets, and other fund raising things like selling candy bars, magazine subscriptions etc... In many school districts, the district would only cover the cost for the protective gear and stadium/field maintainience and transportation..

 

In most cases the football program hardly gave its money to the other sports..

 

Funny thing... the girls volleyball, soccer, and softballs would sometimes spend more for the spirit packs and never grind me down on the price than the football team.. Much of it came from bake sales and such... one coach told me that her kids would average about $200 per bake sale...

 

And, even more odd, the inner city (read poor) schools would spend even more than let's say Newport Harbor H.S. Washington H.S. in Los Angeles was about a $60K a year account.... I think this was due to none of my competitors would venture in to South Central during the drive-by years.

 

It was a great business to be in while but then the shoe companies whored it up... it turned sour..

We have kids from the local high school come door to door most every year wearing their jerseys and selling ticket books of local discounts donated by local businesses. They say the money is to buy uniforms or new helmets or....this or that. I always pony up the $20 and use some of the discounts if its convenient. I do it because I enjoyed football in high school and I assume the school budgets are strapped so the kids and parents need to do fund raising to relieve the budget burden. When I went to high school (60's) it was a different time and all the equipment was provided and it didn't cost my parents anything.............of course it was old....used.....ill fitting........and not exactly "state of the art". The tackling dummies were repaired and restitched. The blocking sled was made by the welding class.........It could not possibly have been a very expensive program. I ponder each time I buy the ticket book at how much it seems to have changed from good ole high school football...........

Early 80s funding was cut for athletics we had to pay to play / boosters from JH on.

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This thread makes me realize just how lucky I've been. 30 years in with my wife. Some of it's luck. Some of it is a mutual decision to make it work. But my life sure as hell doesn't look like I expected it to 30 years ago. But that's OK. I just miss the sailing. I've got to get going on that again

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  • 1 year later...
On 25/02/2016 at 9:10 PM, sailingk8 said:

Mad: So do ya?

 

Chinabald: I had to stop my self from bursting out laughing when he said it.

Yes, everything filed and should be wrapped up by Feb next year.  Almost to the same date, if not a little earlier.

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I'm sure many of you have seen this, but worth mentioning is this description by General John Kelly of the last six seconds of the lives of two marines, Corporal Jonathan Yale and Lance Corporal Jordan Herter, in Iraq.

 

I traveled to Ramadi the next day and spoke individually to a half-dozen Iraqi police all of whom told the same story. The blue truck turned down into the alley and immediately sped up as it made its way through the serpentine. They all said, “We knew immediately what was going on as soon as the two Marines began firing.” The Iraqi police then related that some of them also fired, and then to a man, ran for safety just prior to the explosion.

 

All survived. Many were injured … some seriously. One of the Iraqis elaborated and with tears welling up said, “They’d run like any normal man would to save his life.”

What he didn’t know until then, he said, and what he learned that very instant, was that Marines are not normal. Choking past the emotion he said, “Sir, in the name of God no sane man would have stood there and done what they did.”

“No sane man.”

“They saved us all.”

What we didn’t know at the time, and only learned a couple of days later after I wrote a summary and submitted both Yale and Haerter for posthumous Navy Crosses, was that one of our security cameras, damaged initially in the blast, recorded some of the suicide attack. It happened exactly as the Iraqis had described it. It took exactly six seconds from when the truck entered the alley until it detonated.

You can watch the last six seconds of their young lives. Putting myself in their heads I supposed it took about a second for the two Marines to separately come to the same conclusion about what was going on once the truck came into their view at the far end of the alley. Exactly no time to talk it over, or call the sergeant to ask what they should do. Only enough time to take half an instant and think about what the sergeant told them to do only a few minutes before: “ … let no unauthorized personnel or vehicles pass.”

 

The two Marines had about five seconds left to live. It took maybe another two seconds for them to present their weapons, take aim, and open up. By this time the truck was half-way through the barriers and gaining speed the whole time. Here, the recording shows a number of Iraqi police, some of whom had fired their AKs, now scattering like the normal and rational men they were—some running right past the Marines. They had three seconds left to live.

For about two seconds more, the recording shows the Marines’ weapons firing non-stop…the truck’s windshield exploding into shards of glass as their rounds take it apart and tore in to the body of the son-of-a-bitch who is trying to get past them to kill their brothers—American and Iraqi—bedded down in the barracks totally unaware of the fact that their lives at that moment depended entirely on two Marines standing their ground. If they had been aware, they would have know they were safe … because two Marines stood between them and a crazed suicide bomber.

The recording shows the truck careening to a stop immediately in front of the two Marines. In all of the instantaneous violence Yale and Haerter never hesitated. By all reports and by the recording, they never stepped back. They never even started to step aside. They never even shifted their weight. With their feet spread shoulder width apart, they leaned into the danger, firing as fast as they could work their weapons. They had only one second left to live.

 

The truck explodes. The camera goes blank. Two young men go to their God.

Six seconds.

Not enough time to think about their families, their country, their flag, or about their lives or their deaths, but more than enough time for two very brave young men to do their duty … into eternity. That is the kind of people who are on watch all over the world tonight—for you.

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15 minutes ago, random said:

Sounds like propaganda.

WTF were they in Iraq for?  Fucking mercinaries trashing a country that had nothing to do with 9/11.  And almost the entire USA was too fucking stupid to join those two dots.

Hey Random.... give it a break for a day or two would ya?

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Randumb, if you have to rant like an asshole, at least fucking spell correctly.

Fucking mercinaries

Otherwise you look like a...well...asshole.

Wait.....

 

Never mind.

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3 hours ago, random said:

Sounds like propaganda.

WTF were they in Iraq for?  Fucking mercinaries trashing a country that had nothing to do with 9/11.  And almost the entire USA was too fucking stupid to join those two dots.

My god you can be a cunt sometimes. Seriously.

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4 hours ago, random said:

Sounds like propaganda.

WTF were they in Iraq for?  Fucking mercinaries trashing a country that had nothing to do with 9/11.  And almost the entire USA was too fucking stupid to join those two dots.

I feel sorry for you.  Whatever life you live, you must find something inside yourself incredibly lacking to have to fill it with this type of behavior.

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2 hours ago, random said:

I'm stoked that you read it to find the spelling mistake, thanks so much!

Oh, and about merSINaries,  they were being paid right?  They were doing it for pay.  When you assemble an army to attack others who are not directly threatening your country, that is an appropriate term.  Stop paying them and see how long they are interested in fighting for Freedom.

All soldiers get paid you dipshit.

Here's a little education for you.

mercenary noun [ C ]

us /ˈmɜr·səˌner·i/

a soldier who fights for a foreign country or group for pay

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2 hours ago, random said:

It makes sense to me.  The concept that someone is not willing to risk their life for their country, unless they are paid to do it.  I find that interesting.

You are really stuck on stupid.  I was in the Army and one of the reasons I joined was to give something back the the country and if necessary, give my life defending it.  Yes, I got paid.  I had a wife.  Later I had a child.  I spent 40-70 hours a week doing my duty.  I don't thing there was anything mercenary in my expecting to receive some kind of compensation so I could take care of myself and my family.  There was no internet when I joined the Army so it wasn't like I could start a Go Fund Me or Patreon page to support myself and my family during this time.  I can guarantee you nobody in the Military gets rich.  In terms of pay to responsibility, I got paid less to do more, in the Army than any other job I have ever had.

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6 hours ago, random said:

If you have some inside information to educate me about how the US invasion of Iraq made the US a safer place, let me have it.

What a weird hijack for a divorce thread.

I agree with random. I don't think we're safer as a result of the Iraq war nor the ones we're currently fighting in Niger and Libya, among other places. I think we're less safe and poorer.

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2 hours ago, Uncooperative Tom said:

What a weird hijack for a divorce thread.

I agree with random. I don't think we're safer as a result of the Iraq war nor the ones we're currently fighting in Niger and Libya, among other places. I think we're less safe and poorer.

That all may be true. But he doesn't have to be such a cunt about it.

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6 hours ago, random said:

It makes sense to me.  The concept that someone is not willing to risk their life for their country, unless they are paid to do it.  I find that interesting.

You're an idiot. 

Its no surprise you don't understand. 

Go educate yourself about how much people are paid in the military. Pay close attention to the lower enlisted ranks pay structure. Then come back and report to us how the pay could possibly be a motivation for volunteering for most people. While it may look like good money to a moms basement dwelling burger flipper like yourself, most people would not consider the job based on the pay alone.

Would you ask people who volunteer to completely abandon their fiscal responsibilities?

You're an idiot.

 

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I did make a lot more in the Navy as a volunteer than I did as a firefighter volunteer. Both served a purpose.

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Back on topic, wife has been complaining lately that I don't let her finish her sentences, only allow her to do what I want to do, etc. Went online and set her up with the local abused women group for counseling. Hope it helps.

 

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1 minute ago, random said:

We have been talking about the criminal invasion of an entire country(s), the slaughter of 100's of thousands of innocent men women and children ... but don't be a cunt about it?

Incredible.

No Randumbfuck, the cuntish part in my opinion is claiming that the soldiers are all mercenaries of some type that joined the military for other than (partly)altruistic reasons.  

You see, when you go in the military, you don't know if the next war will be a good one or a bad one.  So you just keep your head down and do as your told.  That's just how it works.    Today's military is all volunteer.  If a person is too stupid to contemplate that reality before they join, oh well.  Most people in the military know this risk and accept it. 

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1 hour ago, random said:

So they all "knew what he was getting into"?  Trump was right.

Seriously,  It's a professional decision often made for many with few other choices available.

But it's an interesting concept you have raised ... there are good wars and bad wars?

edit: the Serving your country thing is about as valid as you choosing to let people think your leg scars are from combat.

Did you get stung by those wasps in your letterbox mate? Fair bit of sand in your vag today. 

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3 hours ago, random said:

But it's an interesting concept you have raised ... there are good wars and bad wars?

You haven't figured that out?

You're dumber than people say you are.

WW II - good.

Viet Nam - bad

Gulf War - good.

Iraq war - bad

etc.

It's not really difficult to figure out.

For most of us anyway.

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1 minute ago, SloopJonB said:

You haven't figured that out?

You're dumber than people say you are.

WW II - good.

Viet Nam - bad

Gulf War - good.

Iraq war - bad

etc.

It's not really difficult to figure out.

For most of us anyway.

Which Gulf war? The one based on phoney WMD?

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