Jump to content

Recommended Posts

As requested, LONQR lives on....  :D

For those of you new here, "LONQR" means the "Land of Not Quite Right".  It's supposed to be an actual thing (not just a humorous meme) but it got fucked up in the translation, or it's going to cause injury or death due to stupidity, Someone thought it was a good idea but didn't think it through very well, etc.  LONQR can take on many forms.  Here's an example.

image.thumb.png.0de1881aef862df62c904ed7d202c157.png

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 2.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

No Snaggs, I'm not dismissing all of you folks.   Just most of them.   I've lived in the US, Korea, Japan, Germany, and Poland.  Each country has its charms and its problems.  I was in the A

glad we don't have to watch Keith moon ...

The very rare and endangered Labrador Seal.  

Posted Images

Thank you! I really missed that thread and now is the perfect time for a threadsurrection.

Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, captnjoe said:

She was reaching for a breath mint.

That reminds me of a sign over the urinal in a dive bar - "Don't Eat The Big White Mint"

Link to post
Share on other sites
16 hours ago, Sidecar said:
On 4/8/2020 at 8:17 AM, Desert Racer said:

daily_gifdump_579_18.gif

Cheers........... Here’s mud in your eye!

I especially got a chuckle out of the girl at the back who was tied onto one of the others by the back of her floatation vest.  :lol:

Link to post
Share on other sites

Granny looks to have way more than a paltry 150 cans.  Dodgy reporting sloppy drunk intern must have helped themselves.   Poor form to porch pirate a beer donation to a 93 year old.

Good for Granny... I like to see these types of stories on occasion.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Me too.

I met one of them once when I was 15.

A friends family had a granny who was pushing 90 at the time. She had been a dance hall girl in the Klondike gold rush.

Someone pulled out a bottle of Johnny Walker and when she saw it her eys lit up and she said "Oooooohhhh Johnny". :D

It's cool when really old people never got old.

Link to post
Share on other sites
21 hours ago, sailm8 said:

My Mom is 98, 99 next month, and we visit her every evening for a Scotch.

You may want to cut back...  Mom is ok though.  :P

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

Can this be legit?? 

Civilian Passenger Accidentally Ejects Himself Mid-Flight from French Fighter Jet. 

The 64-year-old manager at a French defense manufacturer had no experience flying in a fighter jet, nor had he ever expressed any desire to do so.  His colleagues surprised him with the gift of flying in a fighter jet he felt he couldn't say no. He didn't want to be rude.  But he was terrified. 

The man listened, stressed and confused, during a safety briefing when he was informed on how his ejector seat worked.  He was so nervous he didn't properly check his safety equipment.  But despite his inexperience and stress, the passenger was mostly in charge of securing himself in the cockpit.  This meant when they took off, his helmet had not been properly secured so it went flying in midair when he was ejected. 

The plane was subjected to a negative gravitational load factor, which can create the feeling of being upside down, the passenger reached for something to hold onto, but inadvertently grabbed the ejector handle. 

The man's parachute deployed and he landed in a field, sustaining minor injuries that required him to be taken to a hospital.  Despite the jet normally ejecting both the passenger and pilot when one of them pulls the ejector handle, the mechanism failed and only the passenger went flying.  The pilot remained in the cockpit and was eventually able to safely land the plane back at the airbase.

Link to post
Share on other sites
50 minutes ago, Morgan Crewed said:

Can this be legit?? 

Civilian Passenger Accidentally Ejects Himself Mid-Flight from French Fighter Jet. 

The 64-year-old manager at a French defense manufacturer had no experience flying in a fighter jet, nor had he ever expressed any desire to do so.  His colleagues surprised him with the gift of flying in a fighter jet he felt he couldn't say no. He didn't want to be rude.  But he was terrified. 

The man listened, stressed and confused, during a safety briefing when he was informed on how his ejector seat worked.  He was so nervous he didn't properly check his safety equipment.  But despite his inexperience and stress, the passenger was mostly in charge of securing himself in the cockpit.  This meant when they took off, his helmet had not been properly secured so it went flying in midair when he was ejected. 

The plane was subjected to a negative gravitational load factor, which can create the feeling of being upside down, the passenger reached for something to hold onto, but inadvertently grabbed the ejector handle. 

The man's parachute deployed and he landed in a field, sustaining minor injuries that required him to be taken to a hospital.  Despite the jet normally ejecting both the passenger and pilot when one of them pulls the ejector handle, the mechanism failed and only the passenger went flying.  The pilot remained in the cockpit and was eventually able to safely land the plane back at the airbase.

Yep, its true.

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 4/5/2020 at 4:19 PM, Desert Racer said:

As requested, LONQR lives on....  :D

For those of you new here, "LONQR" means the "Land of Not Quite Right".  It's supposed to be an actual thing (not just a humorous meme) but it got fucked up in the translation, or it's going to cause injury or death due to stupidity, Someone thought it was a good idea but didn't think it through very well, etc.  LONQR can take on many forms.  Here's an example.

image.thumb.png.0de1881aef862df62c904ed7d202c157.png

   I had a girl crew that was taking a year off from college and was out getting some travel and 'real world' experience. I found her on one of the 'CrewFinder' websites and just needed her for a delivery West from Puerto RIco until the owner of the boat could join us. Her profile looked promising and showed a good (enough) looking 6'2" gal that had some round the buoys racing experience and mentioned that she would arrive with her own foul weather kit, offshore harness, and handheld GPS and laptop with nav apps loaded. Who could ask for more! 

    She joined the boat about a week before intended departure and we took a little 'shakedown' cruise with an overnighter to the lovely beaches of Vieques. She exhibited a reluctance to join in on skinny dipping sessions and wore baggy basketball knickers down past the knees and those long sleeve UV sailing shorts even for a quick swim. She had one of those strawberry blonde complexions that would turn her into one big freckle if it weren't for UV cream applied with a spatula and i wrote her lack of enthusiasm for naked sailing off to that. She didn't seem to notice my tendency to drop trou and dive over the side once the anchor was down...

    She turned out to be a pretty good cook even under way and her aloofishness to her skipper cooled any further efforts to get to really know her any better under the situation. She would spend hours alone with an old fashion diary sort of notebook writing who knows what. No problem, any girl (or guy) who shows up well equipped for an offshore passage (not to mention cooking under way!) was a blessing on board. 

    Once back in Fajardo I got word that the owner would be delayed and I should just recruit another crewmember and head on out to try and get some miles under the keel in hopes of reaching the canal before the Hurricane season arrived. We sailed back over to St John and headed for the Backyard Bar to do the press gang routine to get our 'cabin boy' Much quicker than CrewFInder and I had the tall blonde to generate interest in our voyage. I soon had a young guy who was nearing the end of his 'year off' from college. I think they call that a 'gap year' these days. So we had our full compliment of three and then word came in from the owner he was landing in San Juan and ready to go sailing! He expected to just catch an airport limo to his awaiting boat in Fajardo but was OK to just catch the puddlejumper to St Thomas and join us in Cruz Bay. I thought he was going to maroon the young fellow who had already cancelled his flight home but he was such a likeable kid that he soon won the owner over. The kid was pretty sharp and a quick study as he had gotten up early and fixed a full breakfast which was awaiting the owner on his first morning on the boat. Turned out he was an ever better cook that the girl.

     We did a quick hop back to Marina Del Ray in PR and did some major provisioning for the Big Leap towards the Pacific. When we headed west with plans for a stop in Jamaica all seemed well and I wanted to do a close run down the rather surprisingly scenic south side of the Dominican Republic.  We made a quick fuel stop at the last marina before Haiti due to having no wind since we shoved off. The boat was an early diesel/electric hybrid of sorts and the genset was woefully under size compared to the electric motors and really didn't motoring constantly. I had already swapped out the whole exhaust system to let the diesel breath better but once the battery bank really got tapped out most of the go juice was trying to recharge the batteries instead of spinning the props. 

    As we got back under way, the owner just kept motoring due South instead of heading West and it turned out he imagined hordes of desparate Haitians lurking under every floating pallet or clump of Sargasso weed like zombies! He insisted on getting more than 25 miles offshore despite me telling him that the Haitians so desparate to board and hijack an innocent boat such as outselves would be doing so on the North side of the Island not the South side where we were. It was shocking that you could see the border between  Haiti and the DR because the lush green jungle just stopped at the fenceline and the western end of the Island was nearly totally denuded by goats and fire wood gatherers. Once we reached the Windward Passage we headed to the North side of Jamaica and had the fastest sail of our trip. We made record time to Port Antonio. Once there we had a nice stay. The 'cabin boy' had done a great job finding local goodies like fungi and ackee for out meals and he even bought some cans of that Cock Soup shown above. By this time all three of us guys onboard had gotten rejected by out Amazon shipmate and the young guy asked me if had hadn't noticed her Facebook page in which she talked about and shared photos of her and her volleyball team! I hadn't even imagined vetting her on Facebook and he was appalled that I hadn't done my due diligence and we could have had an axe murderer in our midst. I asked if being on a girls volleyball team indicated to him that she might be gay and he just laughed and said, 'Dude! Grow up...'

    He went on to pull the Cock Soup out every night and carry out into the cockpit (see what I did there?) and ask everyone if anyone wanted Cock Soup for dinner. The girl would just sort of go into a slow boil and I began to think with abuse such as this she might really turn out to be an ax (or machete) murderer and we all might end up as fish chum. I told him to knock it off after a couple of days. On one of the next stops going down the North Shore of Jamaica I saw him buying the dried powder envelopes of the Cock Soup and asked if he had like the stuff in the can. He said it was still upopened onboard and that he had a better use for the dried powder packets. A month later when the girl finally left the boat in Belize, she waved to us from the water taxi and the kid had a sly smile on his face. He said that he doubted that the girl would even know what a Dick tasted like so he had buried the Cock Soup packets in the bottom of her backpack. She had mentioned him that she couldn't wait to get home to her mother and put her feet up while her mother emtied her pack on the laundry room floor and would wash her travel clothes, just like old time! He said he could just imagine her Mom see the soup packets from Jamaica and wonder if her daughter had finally 'Got Her Groove Back' while in Jamaica!

cock-flavored-soup-grace-1-7-oz-4.png

    

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, Desert Racer said:
10 hours ago, Morgan Crewed said:

Can this be legit?? 

Civilian Passenger Accidentally Ejects Himself Mid-Flight from French Fighter Jet. 

The 64-year-old manager at a French defense manufacturer had no experience flying in a fighter jet, nor had he ever expressed any desire to do so.  His colleagues surprised him with the gift of flying in a fighter jet he felt he couldn't say no. He didn't want to be rude.  But he was terrified. 

The man listened, stressed and confused, during a safety briefing when he was informed on how his ejector seat worked.  He was so nervous he didn't properly check his safety equipment.  But despite his inexperience and stress, the passenger was mostly in charge of securing himself in the cockpit.  This meant when they took off, his helmet had not been properly secured so it went flying in midair when he was ejected. 

The plane was subjected to a negative gravitational load factor, which can create the feeling of being upside down, the passenger reached for something to hold onto, but inadvertently grabbed the ejector handle. 

The man's parachute deployed and he landed in a field, sustaining minor injuries that required him to be taken to a hospital.  Despite the jet normally ejecting both the passenger and pilot when one of them pulls the ejector handle, the mechanism failed and only the passenger went flying.  The pilot remained in the cockpit and was eventually able to safely land the plane back at the airbase.

Yep, its true.

I read that the pilot was able to land the plane after, I had assumed the rockets, explosive bolts etc. that the air-frame wouldn't be overly flyable after an ejection event.   

Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, bowman81 said:

I read that the pilot was able to land the plane after, I had assumed the rockets, explosive bolts etc. that the air-frame wouldn't be overly flyable after an ejection event.   

Nah, in most two seat fighters - they have an option to either have the ejection sequence to individual or to both. I assume the Rafele 2 seater would be the same.
 

In individual setting, if the back seat pulls the handles - only the back seat goes. The front seater has to pull his own handles. if the front seat pulls the handles they both go - backseat first then front. Because if the front went first, the seat rockets would likely kill or severely burn the back seat guy. 
 

if the handles are set to both - whoever pulls the handles, they are both ejecting no matter what, but again the back always goes first followed by the front seater a fraction of a second later. 
 

Usually whenever we flew with non flyers in the back as “incentive rides” we would always set the handles to individual for the exact reason in this story. If the pilot stays in the jet, it’s not a big deal to land it. It’s just a convertible at that point as long as nothing else is wrong. Most jets have a robust windscreen that would protect the pilot from the wind blast as long as he slowed down. Many a jet has been landed with the back seat and canopy gone. 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Desert Racer said:

Nah, in most two seat fighters - they have an option to either have the ejection sequence to individual or to both. I assume the Rafele 2 seater would be the same.
 

In individual setting, if the back seat pulls the handles - only the back seat goes. The front seater has to pull his own handles. if the front seat pulls the handles they both go - backseat first then front. Because if the front went first, the seat rockets would likely kill or severely burn the back seat guy. 
 

if the handles are set to both - whoever pulls the handles, they are both ejecting no matter what, but again the back always goes first followed by the front seater a fraction of a second later. 
 

Usually whenever we flew with non flyers in the back as “incentive rides” we would always set the handles to individual for the exact reason in this story. If the pilot stays in the jet, it’s not a big deal to land it. It’s just a convertible at that point as long as nothing else is wrong. Most jets have a robust windscreen that would protect the pilot from the wind blast as long as he slowed down. Many a jet has been landed with the back seat and canopy gone. 

Interesting, thanks for the detail. I assume the rectification bill after such an event wouldn't be couch change. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, bowman81 said:

Interesting, thanks for the detail. I assume the rectification bill after such an event wouldn't be couch change. 

In the grand scheme of things, fairly minor.  A new seat and a canopy - not chump change but it won't break the bank.  Probably the largest bill will be trying to remove the seat cushion from that gentleman's rectal orifice.  

Link to post
Share on other sites
13 hours ago, Female Canine Firestorm said:

Nah, in most two seat fighters - they have an option to either have the ejection sequence to individual or to both. I assume the Rafele 2 seater would be the same.
 

In individual setting, if the back seat pulls the handles - only the back seat goes. The front seater has to pull his own handles. if the front seat pulls the handles they both go - backseat first then front. Because if the front went first, the seat rockets would likely kill or severely burn the back seat guy. 
 

if the handles are set to both - whoever pulls the handles, they are both ejecting no matter what, but again the back always goes first followed by the front seater a fraction of a second later. 
 

Usually whenever we flew with non flyers in the back as “incentive rides” we would always set the handles to individual for the exact reason in this story. If the pilot stays in the jet, it’s not a big deal to land it. It’s just a convertible at that point as long as nothing else is wrong. Most jets have a robust windscreen that would protect the pilot from the wind blast as long as he slowed down. Many a jet has been landed with the back seat and canopy gone. 

 

bet the pilot was     WTF WAS THAT

Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, VWAP said:

Burglar Gorges Himself as He Self-Quarantines In Restaurant for Four Days

He allegedly went through 70 bottles of liquor during his illicit stay.

https://toofab.com/2020/04/17/burglar-gorges-himself-as-he-self-quarantines-in-restaurant-for-four-days/

that's 3/4's of a bottle every hour for 96 hours...   i have my doubts..

Link to post
Share on other sites
25 minutes ago, Grande Mastere Dreade said:

that's 3/4's of a bottle every hour for 96 hours...   i have my doubts..

"In addition to dining at the empty restaurant, investigators said Ortiz had been taking beverages and property from the building the whole time."

Link to post
Share on other sites
19 hours ago, Grande Mastere Dreade said:

he only needs to haul his harley..

to the handicapped parking spot.

At least he has a backup camera to assist with connecting to the ball.

At one point (in all seriousness) I had a tiny trailer.  Couldn't see it at all behind, so backing up was a disaster.  I only saw it once it was at 90 deg. in the mirrors.  I hated it.

Link to post
Share on other sites
10 hours ago, Grande Mastere Dreade said:

aL0qbVv_460swp.webp

:lol: I still remember the first time I heard about that - a boat on CL that was being sold because the guy needed the capital for his anal bleaching business.

I figured it was some sort of bizarre joke but I looked it up and sure enough... it's a thing.

How much anal would you have to be involved in for that to become an issue? :lol:

"Anal bleach - it's not just for porn stars".

Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, billy backstay said:

 

No way that air scoop could handle the amount of air these blowers could require...

The top is open.

Link to post
Share on other sites

This will only have meaning to the locals but a "large scale" meth lab was just discovered in Caulfield. :lol:

Apparently it was across the street from Caulfield elementary school - about 1/2 way between Tiddlycove and Caulfield Mall.

Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, SloopJonB said:

:lol: I still remember the first time I heard about that - a boat on CL that was being sold because the guy needed the capital for his anal bleaching business.

I figured it was some sort of bizarre joke but I looked it up and sure enough... it's a thing.

How much anal would you have to be involved in for that to become an issue? :lol:

"Anal bleach - it's not just for porn stars".

One of my residents who crewed with me was interviewing for a colo-rectal fellowship after residency. Interviewed at a program he wasn't really interested in because one of the other attendings at our hospital went there. When we were out on day after asked how it went. Had the crew in stitches when he said after he was asked what he sees as the future of colo-rectal surgery went into a 15 explanation about "anal beautification " for the porn industry. All about ways to make the anus look more pleasing on film. 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, burndoc said:

One of my residents who crewed with me was interviewing for a colo-rectal fellowship after residency. Interviewed at a program he wasn't really interested in because one of the other attendings at our hospital went there. When we were out on day after asked how it went. Had the crew in stitches when he said after he was asked what he sees as the future of colo-rectal surgery went into a 15 explanation about "anal beautification " for the porn industry. All about ways to make the anus look more pleasing on film. 

fuckeng beatifulle!                :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Another double blower, this time in a Capri. My first car was a 74, different body, but same crap 1970's build quality. At least this one is shown driving on the street. Sorry for the intro pic.

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 4/18/2020 at 5:37 AM, Grande Mastere Dreade said:

that's 3/4's of a bottle every hour for 96 hours...   i have my doubts..

He might have been bathing in it, for, you know, that extra cleanliness.

16 hours ago, SloopJonB said:

:lol: I still remember the first time I heard about that - a boat on CL that was being sold because the guy needed the capital for his anal bleaching business.

I figured it was some sort of bizarre joke but I looked it up and sure enough... it's a thing.

How much anal would you have to be involved in for that to become an issue? :lol:

"Anal bleach - it's not just for porn stars".

Pssst. You forgot to say that you were asking for a friend.

Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, Black Sox said:

He might have been bathing in it, for, you know, that extra cleanliness.

Pssst. You forgot to say that you were asking for a friend.

I wasn't asking at all - just perusing the sailboat ads and there it was.

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Link to post
Share on other sites