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Select lyrics from Country and Western songs


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I'll start (if you haven't heard these, they're worth a listen):

"How's your ear there in your hand?" Johnny Paycheck

"I'll bet that half a car is a trick to drive" Jerry Reed

"Too bad alligator you swim too slow" Conway Twitty and Loretta Lynn

"Mine rolled away like Chicklets" Bobby Bare

"...them ain't high heeled sneakers" Hank Jr

"Don't I take her drivin' every night?" Tompall Glaser

"...what do you get? Boney fingers" Hoyt Axton and Ronee Blakley

"I'm sorry for you and your honky tonk heart" Joe Maphis (the greatest honky tonk song of all time)

 

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Perhaps slightly less esoteric, yet still apropos....

"Why don't we get drunk and screw?"

"I'm gonna catch that horse if I can!"

"Yes I have, but only a time or two."

 

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1 minute ago, Dorado said:

Yabba dabba doo, the king is gone, and so are you

OK you got me with that one, who dat?

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"Burned all my bridges sank all my ships and now I'm standing at the edge of the sea" George Jones (consensus No 1 singer?)

 

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"She's never swept the floor since she swept me off my feet." Pinkard and Bowden (beware: when they play the Judd's song and you're two stepping with a girl that doesn't yet know your sense of humor, and you sing this version into her ear, it probably won't be well received)

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"Well it's 40 below and I don't give a fuck, got a heater in my truck and I'm off to the rodeo"  (Garry Lee)

"Well here comes johnny with his pecker in his hand, he's a one-ball man and he's off to the rodeo" (Same)

 

 

 

 

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3 hours ago, Latadjust said:

 

"Don't I take her drivin' every night?" Tompall Glaser

 

 

Classic, Put another log on the fire, cook me up some bacon and some beans.....

Well I aint always good to your kid sister?  Don't I take her diving every night?:D

 

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Keep yer hands off my PBR!

 

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I'm not sure I'd call Dan Reeder Country and Western....  

 

When a cowboy says women he means two different kinds
There's the real kind and then there's the kind in his mind, and
The real kind is a mystery that he can't understand
But the mind kind he knows like the 'palm of his hand'

So Buck get your fiddle and play me that song
About the two kinds of women and the nights that are long, and
Camp down in the canyon, ladies so fine
And the one about how cowboys jack off all the time
 

 

 

 

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"Ruth Ann and Lynn they wear them cut off britches and those skinny little halters
And they're second cousins to me
Man I don't care I want to get between 'em
With a great big ol' hard on like a old bois d' arc fence post
You could hang a pipe rail gate from
Do some twisted sisters 'til the cows come home
And we'd be havin' us a time"

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11 hours ago, dyslexic dog said:

Just about any John Prine song has a line in it to live by. 

and much to my surprise

when i opened my eyes

i was the victim of the great comprimise

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though a parody of country and western , The Fools nailed it 40 years ago:

 

 

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22 minutes ago, Dorado said:

She was guilty. I was dead. And what do you think the old judge said?

That's just the  way girls are down in Texas. Case dismissed!

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I didn’t come here and I ain’t leavin so don’t sit around and cry, just roll me up and smoke me when I die. 
 

Willie. 

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Jerry Jeff Walker

Yes, standing by the road has been my song before, much too long...
But now somehow I'm forced to see me there once more, and that's the song...
For my waking thoughts of you are but extensions of the dream
Without you here beside me, I'll never know all that they mean

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Pour me up a drink, there's a bottle in the seat. I'm only half way to crazy by now.
We are past that breaking point, past that road of choice and there ain't nothing left in this town. I thought by now I woulda figured shit out

Whiskey ************ Huston County Skies

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Just now, chester said:

Pour me up a drink, there's a bottle in the seat. I'm only half way to crazy by now.
We are past that breaking point, past that road of choice and there ain't nothing left in this town. I thought by now I woulda figured shit out

Whiskey ************ Huston County Skies

it won't let me type the full name of the band because its the same as the infamous law suit guy?  that's wild

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1. Take your tongue our of my mouth, I''m kissing you goodby.

2. Rodeo Song - Well it's forty below
And I don't give a fuck
Got a heater in my truck
And I'm off to the rodeo
It's an allamande left
And allamande right
C'mon you fuckin' dummy
Get your right step right
Get offstage you goddamn goof
Y'know you piss me off
You fucking jerk

 

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I'm tellin' ya, they have made a mistake
Cause it adds up to more than this cowboy makes!
Besides; everything I ever had worth takin', they've already took!
While she's livin' like a queen on alimony
I'm workin' two shifts eatin' baloney
Askin' myself, "Why didn't you just learn how to cook?!?!"

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4 hours ago, cyclone said:

And the preacher said
I pronounce you 99 to life
Son she's no lady she's your wife

And my friend Brian Temple
Thought he could make it
So from the third story he jumped
He missed the swimming pool
Only by inches
And everyone said he was drunk. 

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"so I'll work on those tow boats,

in my slippery city shoes

which I swore I'd never do again!"

BTDT!

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"but I'm near the end and I,

just ain't got the time,"

I never thought of this as country, just shows how you can get stuck sometimes.

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5 hours ago, chester said:

it won't let me type the full name of the band because its the same as the infamous law suit guy?  that's wild

PODmajerski? :lol:

A real SA flashback

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Brad Paisley "Ticks"

"Every time you take a sip
In this smoky atmosphere
You press that bottle to your lips
And I wish I was your beer:

"I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks"

 

 

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18 hours ago, Sail4beer said:

“Just checkin in to see what condition my condition is in”
 

-Kenny Rogers 

 

the old man said take any rug in the house

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"Kiss me, kiss me a little harder
Don't kiss like we're married kiss me like we're lovers"

K.T. Oslin

 

"You two stepped on my toes, now you're two stepping on my heart"
Me, from my as yet unwritten country music song.

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56 minutes ago, Al Paca said:

Thanks for that Chester. The whole album top notch. 

it sure is.  I've been buyg Stevce earle ever since Guitar Town.  He is very prolific, he's been pumping out steve earle and the dukes stuff at a steady clip for the last decade.  I have a their recent album (Guy) of Guy Clark songs and dig it.  He just put out JT, an album of covers of his recently deceased son's work...I'm not sure if i can get that, I'm  big fan of Justin's and this seems a bit...unsettling.  

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Jason Isbell and the 400 unit  Only Children

"Maybe these words will hold the beast back"

Walking around at night
Fighting my appetite
Every kid in cutoffs could be you
Remember when we used to meet
At the bottom of Mobile Street
And do what the broken people do
Are you still taking notes
The Holy Ghost could get inside you
And do whatever you put your mind to
Will you read me what you wrote
When we were locked outside the building
Over-encouraged, only children
Cold coffee on the fire escape
We bet it all on a demo tape
When we still had something left to steal
Remember when we took too much
To get a little of the human touch
Hand to mouth and reel to reel
And are you still taking notes
Hydrocodone in your backpack
Maybe these words will hold the beast back
And will you read me what you wrote
The one I said you stole from Dylan
Over-encouraged, only
 
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1959 Charlie Ryan ,  My pappy said,  "Son, your gonna drive me to drinkin', "If you don't stop drivin' that hot rod Lincoln" 

 

1975 remake Commander Cody

 

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Laid back in an old saloon with a peso in my hand.....

Watching flies and children on the street...…

I catch a glimpse of black eyed girls who giggles when I smile.....

And a little boy who wants to shine my feet.....

J.P.Barlow

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"I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my drink" - Sammy Hagar 

 

Oh, wait

 

Well, it still sums up my opinion of running 

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5 hours ago, Meat Wad said:

1959 Charlie Ryan ,  My pappy said,  "Son, your gonna drive me to drinkin', "If you don't stop drivin' that hot rod Lincoln" 

 

1975 remake Commander Cody

 

Song was an amusement until I worked in the San Joacin valley then later settled in SanPedro.

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A little closer to the phone (Jim Reeves)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

image.thumb.png.2e026b4d13ee6fe4c717eed6a1daf000.png

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Was it singing through my nose that got me busted by the man?
This ain't it, this outlaw shit has gotten out of hand, out of hand

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On 2/4/2021 at 10:35 AM, Cristoforo said:

Im not as good as I once was. But Im good once, as I ever was. 

Actually a jazz song but still a goody...

"What I once could do all night,

now takes all night to do once!"

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On 2/2/2021 at 10:27 AM, Willin' said:

That's just the  way girls are down in Texas. Case dismissed!

"Girls from Texas are just a little bit better" Pat Green (Sings with Lyle Lovett - Great song)

 

Girls from Georgia are sweeter than peaches
Ones from California are mode for bathing suits and beaches
Minnesota gals sure fill out a sweater
But the girls from Texas are just a little bit better
 
Mississippi's got all them delta queens
And Louisiana Cajun girls beat all I've ever seen
Ever kiss a girl from Kansas you damn sure won't forget her
But the girls from Texas are just a little bit better
 
Feel the southern drawl from the ones in Arkansas
They're so sexy in New Mexico
But the only ten I see ain't in Tennessee
She's waiting for me in San Antonio
 
Up in Oklahoma they're more than just OK
They don't come more fun than A-l-a-b-a-m-a
But if you can find a lone-star gal boy you better get'r
Cause the girls from Texas are just a little bit better
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If I was Roy Rogers. I'd sure enough be single. I couldn't bring myself to marrying ol' Dale.

It'd just be me and Trigger. We'd go riding through them movies. And we'd buy a boat and off to sea we'd sail.

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The flag of piracy flew from my mast
My sails were set wing to wing
I had a jukebox graduate for first mate
She couldn't sail but she sure could sing. 

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the greatest country song ever?  I like Kristoferson's recording best.  One of the hall marks of country is honest "look-in-the-mirror" resignation and this song is the pinnacle of that.

Well, I woke up Sunday morning
With no way to hold my head that didn't hurt
And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad
So I had one more for dessert
Then I fumbled through my closet for my clothes
And found my cleanest dirty shirt
And I washed my face and combed my hair
And stumbled down the stairs to meet the day
I'd smoked my brain the night before
On cigarettes and songs that I'd been pickin'
But I lit my first and watched a small kid
Cussin' at a can that he was kicking
Then I crossed the empty street
And caught the Sunday smell of someone fryin' chicken
And it took me back to somethin'
That I'd lost somehow, somewhere along the way
On the Sunday morning sidewalk
Wishing, Lord, that I was stoned
'Cause there's something in a Sunday
Makes a body feel alone
There ain't nothin' short of dyin'
Half as lonesome as the sound
On the sleepin' city sidewalks
Sunday mornin' comin' down
In the park I saw a daddy
With a laughin' little girl who he was swingin'
And I stopped beside a Sunday school
Listened to the song they were singin'
Then I headed back for home
And somewhere far away a lonesome bell was ringin'
And it echoed through the canyons
Like the disappearing dreams of yesterday
On the Sunday morning sidewalk
Wishing, Lord, that I was stoned
'Cause there's something in a Sunday
Makes a body feel alone
There ain't nothin' short of dyin'
Half as lonesome as the sound
On the sleepin' city sidewalks
Sunday mornin' comin' down
On the Sunday morning sidewalk
Wishing, Lord, that I was stoned
'Cause there's something in a Sunday
Makes your body feel alone
There ain't nothin' short of dyin'
Half as lonesome as the sound
On the sleepin' city sidewalks
Sunday mornin' comin' down
 
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Best american band of the last 20 years...DBT

The car was in the carport sideways
Big dent running down the side
Never seen anything as frightening
As when I took a look inside
Smell of musk and deception
Heel marks on the roof-line
Bad music on the stereo
All the seats in recline
The aftermath staring me right in the face
I'll get around to breaking even one of these days
 
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I used this: https://theselyricsdonotexist.com/

With these settings: 

image.png.21ae621b557fd31363cc9aa33003d6f4.png

And got this, the next country hit:  

Verse 1
I said its nothing but, nothing but a good old fashioned love
Nothing but a, nothing but a good old fashioned love
Nothing but a good old fashioned love

Pre-Chorus
As it rains down hard on the past, on the past
Making love to nothing again

Chorus
She just bored to love
She just bored to love
She just bored to love
The worst thing, I hope you know

Verse 2
I remember this guy that did never pay his taxes
I forget his name, but im thinking oh my God he hurt you
And this is kinda hard for me to say but I hate you
Not live in fear, but because I love you

Pre-Chorus
The people say
To give up on love

Chorus
She just bored to love
She just bored to love
She just bored to love
The worst thing, I hope you know

Bridge
One love, go make that money
A check, go make that money

Chorus
She just bored to love
She just bored to love
She just bored to love
The worst thing, I hope you know

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