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13 minutes ago, d'ranger said:

uh oh, buzzkill alert - :D  luckily this is the stupid humor thread. 

edit: someone put a lot of thought and effort into it........

oh it was truly funny...i'm planning when i can loudly declare that "adultry is a sin...you can't have....":D

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10 hours ago, d'ranger said:

main-qimg-3b24261d44f1ae08e4d1f11ed31b7ff4-mzj

I particularly enjoy the trailer park in the background ;)

I can see Walter White in there somewhere cooking up a batch .....

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May be an image of text that says 'I wonder if the people paying $300 for a colon cleanse even know about Taco Bell's $4.99 deal'

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May be an image of one or more people and text that says 'SOCIETY 8h FLAT EARTH if the earth is flat do the moon and all other planets are flat? You and 5 others 49 Comments Haha Comment Rick Redfern No, they're doesn't Haha 4 Reply View 2 previous replies... Klint Pangilinan Let me get this straight.. aren't them wasn't? Haha Reply 2'

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May be an image of text that says 'SORRY I'M LATE. I GOT HERE AS SOON AS I I WANTED TO. TheMindsJournal THEMINDSJOURNAL'

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May be an image of one or more people, people standing, outdoors and text that says 'Paro NEED $ FOR NEW DEATH STAR'

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4 hours ago, Snaggletooth said:

NLM..........  I licke it..........     :)

at least I won't be thinking about the Bureau of Land Management every time I see one of their banners

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4 hours ago, Snaggletooth said:

NLM..........  I licke it..........     :)

I'm more a progessive than a nihlist...I can certainly agree that y'all are a bunch of cunts but I feel compelled to declare your lives matter none the less. :D

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On 9/10/2021 at 12:25 PM, Bump-n-Grind said:

May be an image of text that says 'ast aeis, as to demonstrate that most otiose attainments "the common touch" Diabolically clever old girl, wasn't she? one rchy, that intain She hce to trast, avies the shion BBC, ngits the people PASSENGERS travelling first class on British Airways Boeing 747s are worried about a re-design which means some lavatories have windows. A woman trav- elling to New York complained there were no blinds. She was told by stewardess, 'Madam,ifsome some pervert is clinging to the of this aircraft at 35,000 reet they deserveto see everything.''

Will admit this took me a little by surprise the first time I saw it as well. These are the upstairs lavatories in the hump on the 747 I was on. I also flew a bunch in the business section underneath the hump and was always wigged out by the nose wheel storage area that was central to this area of the plane. They did alleviate some of my concern by having a self serve bar on top of this structure. I will admit that the first class area on the 747 ruined me for all other air travel. It is ridiculous how much different it is from real flying that most people are used to on US domestic flights. My wife is a super anxious flyer so I usually use miles etc. to get into business/first on domestic flights so she feels a little better about flying. But she has no idea about what international first class is like. She will though hopefully soon, daughter #2 is based in the UK and we have tickets to go on the 787 with British Airways first class at Christmas hopefully the rona stays in check for our trip. Also don't tell her we have to fly to Dallas to catch the flight to London, she absolutely hates take-off/landings.

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May be an image of 4 people and text that says 'Anybody want to say anything? I'm vegan'

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1 hour ago, Steam Flyer said:

Darth Vader is a bass player.

Figures

- DSK

He just didn't want to lug the whole kit around. He's a crappy bass player but a great drummer.

 

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3 minutes ago, Ed Lada said:

May be an image of text that says 'The saying, "Say no to drugs" has always made me laugh. If you're talking to drugs, it's probably too late to say no to them.'

Some of my favorite conversations as a paramedic with patients were when they were higher than god. Unfortunately, some of my least favorite moments were with patients in that same condition. You just never know…….:lol:

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1 hour ago, Autonomous said:

local_heros-jpg.818898

Lefty pussies.

This is how it should be done.

If you want to be charitable, hit them over the head first.

The Movie Sleuth: The Wood Chipper Murder: The Horrific True Crime That  Inspired Fargo's Most Notorious Scene

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May be an image of food and text that says 'Bacon is the Duct Tape of food'

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21 hours ago, DarthSailor said:

Will admit this took me a little by surprise the first time I saw it as well. These are the upstairs lavatories in the hump on the 747 I was on. I also flew a bunch in the business section underneath the hump and was always wigged out by the nose wheel storage area that was central to this area of the plane. They did alleviate some of my concern by having a self serve bar on top of this structure. I will admit that the first class area on the 747 ruined me for all other air travel. It is ridiculous how much different it is from real flying that most people are used to on US domestic flights. My wife is a super anxious flyer so I usually use miles etc. to get into business/first on domestic flights so she feels a little better about flying. But she has no idea about what international first class is like. She will though hopefully soon, daughter #2 is based in the UK and we have tickets to go on the 787 with British Airways first class at Christmas hopefully the rona stays in check for our trip. Also don't tell her we have to fly to Dallas to catch the flight to London, she absolutely hates take-off/landings.

 

i remember flying in first class 707's ... they had a lounge at the front of the plane where you could hang out in...    everybody else.... peasants..

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Upper Class (First Class) on the Virgin Atlantic 747s was the way to go.  As above, my now ex hated flying and was known to have run off 757s.  So using miles to upgrade to Upper Class was the plan. The invoice was labelled Business Class so sometimes I squeezed this through company accounting.  

They gave you nice sweatsuit pyjamas, and put your day clothes in a hanging locker for the flight.  At the cocktail bar you never knew what convivial fellow traveler you'd meet.  And there was an onboard masseuse too.  If the strain of the full-length bed was too much you'd book half an hour of neck and back massage before Heathrow.

And don't get me started on the Upper Class Lounge in London.  Half a million square feet with everything imaginable (well, perhaps not quite everything) and its own private security line.

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7 minutes ago, P_Wop said:

And don't get me started on the Upper Class Lounge in London.  Half a million square feet with everything imaginable (well, perhaps not quite everything) and its own private security line.

That is one nice lounge……I was almost sorry it was time for our flight out. 
 

The lie flat bed is alright but there are ALWAYS one or two idiots in the “bar” that want to drink…..loudly…..all the way across the Atlantic. Idiots……

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1 hour ago, P_Wop said:

Upper Class (First Class) on the Virgin Atlantic 747s was the way to go.  As above, my now ex hated flying and was known to have run off 757s.  So using miles to upgrade to Upper Class was the plan. The invoice was labelled Business Class so sometimes I squeezed this through company accounting.  

They gave you nice sweatsuit pyjamas, and put your day clothes in a hanging locker for the flight.  At the cocktail bar you never knew what convivial fellow traveler you'd meet.  And there was an onboard masseuse too.  If the strain of the full-length bed was too much you'd book half an hour of neck and back massage before Heathrow.

And don't get me started on the Upper Class Lounge in London.  Half a million square feet with everything imaginable (well, perhaps not quite everything) and its own private security line.

yeah.... everything

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9 hours ago, P_Wop said:

Upper Class (First Class) on the Virgin Atlantic 747s was the way to go.  As above, my now ex hated flying and was known to have run off 757s.  So using miles to upgrade to Upper Class was the plan. The invoice was labelled Business Class so sometimes I squeezed this through company accounting.  

They gave you nice sweatsuit pyjamas, and put your day clothes in a hanging locker for the flight.  At the cocktail bar you never knew what convivial fellow traveler you'd meet.  And there was an onboard masseuse too.  If the strain of the full-length bed was too much you'd book half an hour of neck and back massage before Heathrow.

And don't get me started on the Upper Class Lounge in London.  Half a million square feet with everything imaginable (well, perhaps not quite everything) and its own private security line.

I got my taste when I made senator for the first time on Lufthansa, they upgraded me from Frankfurt to New Delhi. I was doing Dallas to India once a month for about 2.5 years. Three weeks in India one week home. Flights that long allowed me to take business class on company dime, I think the miles racked up at 2.5 times actual and I got a free upgrade to first class every other flight after the first six months. I am a computer geek and got spend 5 hours playing spades with our CEO and general counsel one trip.  The CEO of Perot systems would call me by my first name in the halls at work. Some of the looks I got from co-workers were almost better than the bonuses. I was integrating some companies they bought in India for the whole labor arbitrage thing onto their HR systems.  The travel system forced me into a direct flight from Delhi to Chicago once, 16 hours in a plane is maybe too long for me. The final cherry was I got to fly back from India via Australia once so I got to do an eastward circumnavigation that trip. Dallas-Frankfurt- New Delhi-Sydney-Tokyo-Seattle-Dallas. Stayed 3 weeks in Delhi, 1 week in Sydney, my clock was fooked for a month

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May be a meme of text that says 'There was a safety meeting at work today. They asked me what steps I would take in the event of a fire? KING BIG ONES" was the wrong answer.'

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On 9/11/2021 at 8:48 PM, DarthSailor said:

Will admit this took me a little by surprise the first time I saw it as well. These are the upstairs lavatories in the hump on the 747 I was on. I also flew a bunch in the business section underneath the hump and was always wigged out by the nose wheel storage area that was central to this area of the plane. They did alleviate some of my concern by having a self serve bar on top of this structure. I will admit that the first class area on the 747 ruined me for all other air travel. It is ridiculous how much different it is from real flying that most people are used to on US domestic flights. My wife is a super anxious flyer so I usually use miles etc. to get into business/first on domestic flights so she feels a little better about flying. But she has no idea about what international first class is like. She will though hopefully soon, daughter #2 is based in the UK and we have tickets to go on the 787 with British Airways first class at Christmas hopefully the rona stays in check for our trip. Also don't tell her we have to fly to Dallas to catch the flight to London, she absolutely hates take-off/landings.

Ah, the old "I'd feel so much less frightened if you paid for me to sit in business class" ruse. 

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12 hours ago, Point Break said:

That is one nice lounge……I was almost sorry it was time for our flight out. 
 

The lie flat bed is alright but there are ALWAYS one or two idiots in the “bar” that want to drink…..loudly…..all the way across the Atlantic. Idiots……

poor guy,  had to fly, as kids, when smoking was allowed on planes, siblings and I got good at directing air vents to blow smoke away... 

 

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1 hour ago, Point Break said:

C0CC692D-6F1E-4098-88C4-4AEBE83FAAA7.jpeg

LOL, Was on a trail mix binge for the last couple of months.  Found that making your own is tons better than the dreck they sell in the store.  $$$$ though.  Cashews, Honey roasted p-nuts, m&M's, crazens, choc chips and a bag of reices pieses were the go to...   Ratio leaned toward the nuts and raisins.   

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1 hour ago, Wet Spreaders said:

Ah, the old "I'd feel so much less frightened if you paid for me to sit in business class" ruse. 

It was only available for flights over five hours which basically took all domestic stuff off the table and most folks that had to fly a lot had miles/upgrades to burn. So the the folks that flew a lot were not affected as much as the one offs.

At another job I had an Airpass which was basically a contracted number of miles the company bought each year and you got business/first for the coach price all the time even if you booked the same day. Was a great way to get around when I was travelling 40-45 weeks of the year.  Had a special number to call and you could rebook on the fly. worked great when there were issues with weather etc. always went to the front of the line automagically when a flight was cancelled etc. Happened a ton as I was in Chicago twice a month during the winters. American would send me to Charlotte many times instead of Chicago since I was going to NY and my usual flight via o'hare got hosed. 

Did the road warrior thing for about  6 years, I still have some unused status perks etc. in effect now. Got a credit card out of the deal that has club access etc. which is really the best perk of all not to have to be on the grid board waiting for you flight to board and the exec/plat boarding privilege's that come along as well.

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the end is near 

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40 minutes ago, P_Wop said:

Nearly hit one yesterday as he was cruising right through a red light.  He fell off his bike and started screaming at me.  Asshole.

In the before times, I was seriously considering a dash cam for just that reason.  Realized the frequency of close calls with bikes and e-scooters downtown was increasing. Think I'll wait and see, now.

 

 

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4 hours ago, Grande Mastere Dreade said:

no corn or potatos !  where's the pitchers of beer?   but I agree

I agree on the corn and potatoes, Dr. P over sonic ice instead of beer. Oysters and shrimp remoulade while waiting on the mudbugs with some good french bread. I was just reacting to the crayfish not really think about what was missing. 

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May be an image of ‎1 person and ‎text that says '‎SS ORO 萌ב A man named Walter Summerford was struck by lightening 3 times in his life. After his death, his gravestone was also struck. FUCK THAT GUY‎'‎‎

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7 hours ago, P_Wop said:

Nearly hit one yesterday as he was cruising right through a red light.  He fell off his bike and started screaming at me.  Asshole.

Should have backed up over him

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18 hours ago, Grande Mastere Dreade said:

poor guy,  had to fly, as kids, when smoking was allowed on planes, siblings and I got good at directing air vents to blow smoke away... 

 

always thought it was funny when they had smoking area seats and like there was supposed to be some magical barrier that prevented the smoke from getting into the non-smoking seating area.....

Don't miss those days. *cough, cough*

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7 hours ago, SloopJonB said:

Did he play Reg in The Great Outdoors?

can't remember, but wasn't he also, briefly, the drummer for Spinal Tap? 

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30 minutes ago, Ed Lada said:

May be an image of dog and text that says 'One day you'll find someone that's obsessed with you. It's probably going to be a dog. But it is what it is.'

The more I  am around people the more I appreciate my dog...

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8 hours ago, More Cowbell2 said:

always thought it was funny when they had smoking area seats and like there was supposed to be some magical barrier that prevented the smoke from getting into the non-smoking seating area.....

Don't miss those days. *cough, cough*

Once chatted up a nice-looking seatmate in the "non-smoking" section on a transcontinental flight.  We were having a nice conversation when I asked her what her job was she said she "worked for a Fortune 500 company".  Odd response so I pushed a bit.  Four or five rounds later, she confessed to being in marketing for Philip Morris. 

When I pointed out we were in the non-smoking section, she clammed up and got all grumpy.  I then just had to mention that the whole plane still stunk of tobacco, the rest of the flight was very conducive to napping.  

 

th.jpeg

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I think this one may have fouled these pages before but I dont fucking care :)

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