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2 hours ago, Tax Man said:

The most popular guy at the nudist camp is the one that can carry two cups of coffee and a dozen donuts.

The most popular woman is the one who can eat the last donut.

 

I was going through the TSA line at the Charleston, SC airport yesterday morning.  After I went through the scanner where you hold your hands above your head, I was pulled aside.  I asked why, and he pointed to the screen that showed a yellow square where my crotch is, and said the scanner detected something between my legs, and he had to pat me down, down there.  Which he did very professionally, not patting me near my crotch, as I commented that the only things between my legs were the things I was born with.  We had a good laugh together, but it's not like I am overly endowed down there, so I have no idea why my manly, dangly bits showed up as a yellow square????

 

EDIT, I think it might be worth the 80 bucks, or whatever it costs to get fingerprinted, and photographed, to get a TSA Pre screen pass?  Supposedly good for 5 years, and good for International flights too?  Anyone here done this, and can recommend it?  It means we have to spend a couple hours to go to BDL and back, which is 50 miles away....

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16 minutes ago, billy backstay said:

 

I was going through the TSA line at the Charleston, SC airport yesterday morning.  After I went through the scanner where you hold your hands above your head, I was pulled aside.  I asked why, and he pointed to the screen that showed a yellow square where my crotch is, and said the scanner detected something between my legs, and he had to pat me down, down there.  Which he did very professionally, not patting me near my crotch, as I commented that the only things between my legs were the things I was born with.  We had a good laugh together, but it's not like I am overly endowed down there, so I have no idea why my manly, dangly bits showed up as a yellow square????

 

EDIT, I think it might be worth the 80 bucks, or whatever it costs to get fingerprinted, and photographed, to get a TSA Pre screen pass?  Supposedly good for 5 years, and good for International flights too?  Anyone here done this, and can recommend it?  It means we have to spend a couple hours to go to BDL and back, which is 50 miles away....

Pre check is great to avoid some lines and taking shoes off. Still need to go through the scanners though

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3 minutes ago, billy backstay said:

 

I was going through the TSA line at the Charleston, SC airport yesterday morning.  After I went through the scanner where you hold your hands above your head, I was pulled aside.  I asked why, and told him there is metal in my right knees patella, and right shoulder, and he pointed to the screen that showed a yellow square where my crotch is, and said the scanner detected something between my legs, and he had to pat me down, down there.  Which he did very professionally, not patting me near my crotch, as I commented that the only things between my legs were the things I was born with.  We had a good laugh together, but it's not like I am overly endowed down there, so I have no idea why my dangly, manly bits showed up as a yellow square????

I had something similar happen at JFK. The image showed a bright, circular object near my crotch. They pulled me out of the line, wanded me, and did the hand search thing as well. They couldn't find anything and I thought they were going to make me strip. I untucked my shirt, and down at the bottom of the shirttail was one of those spare replacement buttons that they sew on.

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21 minutes ago, billy backstay said:

 

I was going through the TSA line at the Charleston, SC airport yesterday morning.  After I went through the scanner where you hold your hands above your head, I was pulled aside.  I asked why, and he pointed to the screen that showed a yellow square where my crotch is, and said the scanner detected something between my legs, and he had to pat me down, down there.  Which he did very professionally, not patting me near my crotch, as I commented that the only things between my legs were the things I was born with.  We had a good laugh together, but it's not like I am overly endowed down there, so I have no idea why my manly, dangly bits showed up as a yellow square????

 

EDIT, I think it might be worth the 80 bucks, or whatever it costs to get fingerprinted, and photographed, to get a TSA Pre screen pass?  Supposedly good for 5 years, and good for International flights too?  Anyone here done this, and can recommend it?  It means we have to spend a couple hours to go to BDL and back, which is 50 miles away....

Been getting adverts for CC that give you precheck for free as a perk.  Might be worth looking into...  

 

 

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13 minutes ago, Remodel said:

I had something similar happen at JFK. The image showed a bright, circular object near my crotch. They pulled me out of the line, wanded me, and did the hand search thing as well. They couldn't find anything and I thought they were going to make me strip. I untucked my shirt, and down at the bottom of the shirttail was one of those spare replacement buttons that they sew on.

I ask for the hand check every time.  Actually speeds things up a bit as they pull you out.  I have my Fake hip card, so I show them that and they wand.  Do the back of the hand thing to check privates and check belt hat etc.  I know it is going to happen anyway cause the hip triggers stuff, so I am usually ahead of the game with everything off and ready.  10% of the time I make it through the machine, but i never count on it.  

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Precheck is totally worth it. No fishing out your laptop and liquids, keep your shoes on, miss the scanners mostly, and most important is you aren't in the line with amateurs who don't know how to get through the line efficiently. Saves me a lot of rage. 

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34 minutes ago, Remodel said:

I had something similar happen at JFK. The image showed a bright, circular object near my crotch. They pulled me out of the line, wanded me, and did the hand search thing as well. They couldn't find anything and I thought they were going to make me strip. I untucked my shirt, and down at the bottom of the shirttail was one of those spare replacement buttons that they sew on.

Not an airport, but shortly after the father in law died of cancer, we take the grandmother in law for her exams in rural Idaho. After we return to the east coast, we get the call from the doc thinking she had lung cancer due to what they saw in the chest x-ray. Now the family goes into cancer scare mode for the mother of the recently deceased. After a little bit of Scooby-Doo level investigation, I point out that the area of concern is the same size and shape as a pendant she wears.  Yes.  The trained medical technicians of the region did not remove the necklace for the scan, got an already grieving family worked up, and subjected me to another cross-country flight and car travel to the boonies. While that had a cost, I think working up and holding onto the patience required to explain the issue to medical wizards probably had a higher cost.

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2 hours ago, Bump-n-Grind said:

May be an image of 1 person and text that says 'With the rise of self driving vehicles, it's only a matter of time until there's a country song where the guy's truck leaves him'

Remember the days of people playing records backwards and hearing messages from Satan and suchlike?

They played a country song backwards and the guy got his wife back, his dog back and his job back.

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1 hour ago, billy backstay said:

 

I was going through the TSA line at the Charleston, SC airport yesterday morning.  After I went through the scanner where you hold your hands above your head, I was pulled aside.  I asked why, and he pointed to the screen that showed a yellow square where my crotch is, and said the scanner detected something between my legs, and he had to pat me down, down there.  Which he did very professionally, not patting me near my crotch, as I commented that the only things between my legs were the things I was born with.  We had a good laugh together, but it's not like I am overly endowed down there, so I have no idea why my manly, dangly bits showed up as a yellow square????

 

EDIT, I think it might be worth the 80 bucks, or whatever it costs to get fingerprinted, and photographed, to get a TSA Pre screen pass?  Supposedly good for 5 years, and good for International flights too?  Anyone here done this, and can recommend it?  It means we have to spend a couple hours to go to BDL and back, which is 50 miles away....

Never  voluntarily give your fingerprints or DNA.

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7 minutes ago, SloopJonB said:

Never  voluntarily give your fingerprints or DNA.

I did the TSA  pre check thing even though I don't travel to the US often, it was still worth it.  I was in the Army, my fingerprints have been on file for years.  I got out just before they started collecting DNA from every service member.

I never felt uncomfortable knowing that my fingerprints are in a database somewhere, but then again, I'm not prone to criminal activity either, so I really don't care.  The military switched from unique service numbers to using the member's Social Security number many years ago.  So my SSN is plastered on many, many documents in St Louis, Missouri where they keep old military records filed.  Me and a few million others. The Veterans Administration that also uses the SSN for ID.    Nobody has stolen my identity yet.  

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17 minutes ago, SloopJonB said:

Never  voluntarily give your fingerprints or DNA.

 

I'm sure that ATF has my prints from CCW permit, although the state cops that issue it, say they are NOT kept, but destroyed instead.  Would you believe that???  Anyone can get my DNA from my toothbrush, or many other means, just not going to volunteer it....

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4 hours ago, F395 said:

Cartoon Poster Happy Art Pleased

That reminded me of a guy I knew peripherally years ago.

Henry was one of those sad sacks who sort of stumble into jail, almost accidentally. Basically harmless but easily led astray.

Anyway, he got a case of 'Roids and was asking what to do. Someone told him about Preparation H suppositories so he bought some.

A few days later he was back complaining they did nothing for him.

After a couple of questions it was determined he hadn't removed the foil.

True story.

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55 minutes ago, shaggy said:

Been getting adverts for CC that give you precheck for free as a perk.  Might be worth looking into...  

 

Which CC company offers that?  Since I sold a bunch of deadbeat tenants rental condos and paid off 35k in debt, my score has moved from the low 600's to high 700', and the free credit reporting companies are bombarding me with offers.  Like my Grandfather always said, when you really need the money you area SOL; but when you don't they fall all over themselves begging you to take their money...

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3 minutes ago, billy backstay said:

 

Which CC company offers that?  Since I sold a bunch of deadbeat tenants rental condos and paid off 35k in debt, my score has moved from the low 600's to high 700', and the free credit reporting companies are bombarding me with offers.  Like my Grandfather always said, when you really need the money you area SOL; but when you don't they fall all over themselves begging you to take their money...

Amex platinum includes a global entry card which, I think, by default registers you for PreCheck.  Not sure about any others.  They also toss in an access card to a whole slew of airport lounges. I found it to be more than worth the cost of the card when I was doing a lot of international travel. The last couple years not so much, but hoping to get out more soon. 

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24 minutes ago, SloopJonB said:

That reminded me of a guy I knew peripherally years ago.

Henry was one of those sad sacks who sort of stumble into jail, almost accidentally. Basically harmless but easily led astray.

Anyway, he got a case of 'Roids and was asking what to do. Someone told him about Preparation H suppositories so he bought some.

A few days later he was back complaining they did nothing for him.

After a couple of questions it was determined he hadn't removed the foil.

True story.

That reminds of one of my BIL's favorite stories. He went to college at OU. During his time as a pledge he had to cook a dinner for the entire frat, so he did a Shrimp Boil. After the meal was served, he was working in the kitchen when one of his fraternity bros came in and dumped his bowl of food in the trash.

What's the matter, you don't like it?

Well, it tastes ok, but those shells are way too crunchy.

Turns out that more than half of the young men in the room didn't know that you should peel shrimp before you eat them.

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2 hours ago, billy backstay said:

 

I was going through the TSA line at the Charleston, SC airport yesterday morning.  After I went through the scanner where you hold your hands above your head, I was pulled aside.  I asked why, and he pointed to the screen that showed a yellow square where my crotch is, and said the scanner detected something between my legs, and he had to pat me down, down there.  Which he did very professionally, not patting me near my crotch, as I commented that the only things between my legs were the things I was born with.  We had a good laugh together, but it's not like I am overly endowed down there, so I have no idea why my manly, dangly bits showed up as a yellow square????

 

EDIT, I think it might be worth the 80 bucks, or whatever it costs to get fingerprinted, and photographed, to get a TSA Pre screen pass?  Supposedly good for 5 years, and good for International flights too?  Anyone here done this, and can recommend it?  It means we have to spend a couple hours to go to BDL and back, which is 50 miles away....

Next time just ask the TSA officer this question.

Military Memes - the hammer drops. | Facebook

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2 hours ago, Remodel said:

Turns out that more than half of the young men in the room didn't know that you should peel shrimp before you eat them.

 

LOL!!  Great looking Artichokes at the market today for 2 bucks each!!  I was so excited, have not seen an edible choke in that store for many, many months!!   Guy at the checkout line was younger than me, but at least 40, I reckon, and he had to ask me WTF they were??  I was gobsmacked!  Should have told him they were something else that cost 50 cents each, instead of being honest.....:lol:

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3 hours ago, PurpleOnion said:

 we get the call from the doc thinking she had lung cancer due to what they saw in the chest x-ray.

 

Same thing happened to me the day of the Fukashima nuclear meltdown.  I went to the local clinic for a chest x-ray and blood work.  On the way back to my office, they told me to go back for more tests.  I spent all day there flipping between news channels as the disaster unfolded in Japan.  A week later the Pulmonolagist says, the x-ray shows a small bit of lung cancer that can be easily treated, or removed.  No big deal, I think.  A subsequent biopsy showed no cancer, but I had BOOP, "Bronchyolitis Obliterans Organizing Pneumonia" instead.  9 months of Prednisone, and Bob's yer Uncle, all is well now.  I never broke a sweat during the whole ordeal, but the wife and kids were pretty pissed off that the guy would diagnose lung cancer from a dark shadow on my lung x-ray.....

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2 hours ago, Bump-n-Grind said:

Amex platinum includes a global entry card which, I think, by default registers you for PreCheck.  Not sure about any others.  They also toss in an access card to a whole slew of airport lounges. I found it to be more than worth the cost of the card when I was doing a lot of international travel. The last couple years not so much, but hoping to get out more soon. 

 

I expect it is well worth getting, since we will soon have a Grandchild in Charleston in March, and while we have no intentions of relocating there (at this time), I expect will be frequent visitors, especially now that the new Breeze Airlines has direct flights from BDL to CHS, for cheap money for now, and less than 2 hours in the air with no PITA connection in Charlotte or Dulles!!  The walking back and forth on 5 long connecting lines was painfully slow for non TSA pre-approved checking in....

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4 hours ago, SloopJonB said:

That reminded me of a guy I knew peripherally years ago.

Henry was one of those sad sacks who sort of stumble into jail, almost accidentally. Basically harmless but easily led astray.

Anyway, he got a case of 'Roids and was asking what to do. Someone told him about Preparation H suppositories so he bought some.

A few days later he was back complaining they did nothing for him.

After a couple of questions it was determined he hadn't removed the foil.

True story.

reminds me of this Bill Engval bit.  the set up is "do you know that it says 'do not take this orally' on a tube of prep h"  the puchline is "my mouth's so small i can't eat a peanut any more, but i can whistle real good"

 

 

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On 11/19/2021 at 7:56 AM, BravoBravo said:

F06366DD-BD78-4BA0-9082-24891E39A52D.jpeg

 

 

Back in the day, when I did my own wrenching of cars and motorcycles, we always figured out we were smarter than the engineers, because we always had unnecessary nuts and bolts left over....

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17 minutes ago, chester said:

but could squeeze into 60x100

 

House we lived in for 30 years, I got a zoning variance to build a 30x60 garage/shop with an accessory apartment above it.  Recession of 07-08 changed everything, and it never got built.  Then we sold the house in 2015, and the sleazy developer who bought it tore the recently renovated house down, to build a fugly McMansion on the water.......

 

PROGRESS!!

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2 hours ago, F395 said:

Hood Azure Aircraft Air travel Line

 

 

Okay I give up, I don't get it?  

The etchings on my urn will say...

"He was a well travelled country mouse, who never went to Vegas and never bought a suit"

 

EDIT, Is that EPT???? pregnancy test??

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4 minutes ago, billy backstay said:

 

 

Okay I give up, I don't get it?  

The etchings on my urn will say...

"He was a well travelled country mouse, who never went to Vegas and never bought a suit"

It's a pregnancy test.

 

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2 hours ago, hobot said:

Heres a home made Meme aimed directly at PA.....

 

Me, trying to avoid getting anything icky on me from visiting PA.

^Proving that 99% of drivers aren't looking past the rear bumper of the car in front of them!

 

Imagine going into a mark rounding at full tilt with zero situational awareness beyond the rails of your own boat.... 

 

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5 minutes ago, Liquid said:

^Proving that 99% of drivers aren't looking past the rear bumper of the car in front of them!

 

Imagine going into a mark rounding at full tilt with zero situational awareness beyond the rails of your own boat.... 

 

i mean really,  the video is being taken from a tractor trailer who i'm sure has his emergencies on..   i mean it's not ever white out conditions ..

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1 hour ago, Cruisin Loser said:

It's a pregnancy test.

 

Thanks CL!  I figured it out and edited my post.  Since my vasectomy some 30+ years ago, I have not kept up with maternal/paternal medical stuff, but our pregnant daughter is halfway to delivery in March, so I am relearning old forgotten stuff....

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4 hours ago, Point Break said:
4 hours ago, warbird said:

PA has achieved a toxicity level beyond WW11 nuclear tests.

Haven’t been in there in years….good call on my part.

We had World War 11? What happened to 3-10?

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36 minutes ago, Ishmael said:
4 hours ago, Point Break said:
5 hours ago, warbird said:

PA has achieved a toxicity level beyond WW11 nuclear tests.

Haven’t been in there in years….good call on my part.

We had World War 11? What happened to 3-10?

Love the comment from the guy who is responsible for the most vile, raving, toxic PUI in the place.

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24 minutes ago, Point Break said:

While not really a meme by the strictest definition, I thought it worth posting. I took this picture in Capetown a couple years ago. :lol:

 

Thanks, a laugh well needed this morning.  Some soup sounds awesome. 

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14 hours ago, hobot said:

not a Meme but, where else am I gonna post this?

this was the right place to post that LOL

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