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Sailboat collided with Aircraft Carrier


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15 minutes ago, BGeff said:

A huge raft of backhanded jokes and quips are going to float out on this one!

So let's have a contest... Fill in the blank...

 

Did you hear the one about the French aircraft carrier and the Polish sailboat? 

 

 _______________________________________________________________________________

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On the other hand, I do know of a US Navy Ship that took off the mast of an old fellow who was fishing in the fog in the Juan de Fuca strait.  They didn't stop at all, even though he looked at one sailor right in the eyes. It wasn't until a day later that they contacted him.  I advised him on the legals and they replaced his mast with no fuss.

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2 hours ago, George Dewey said:

Finally, the French rescue the Polish! If they were not 82 years late, perhaps WW2 could have been avoided. 

You are the joke here, saying that.

What is a joke though them saying "In spite of an emergency maneuver to avoid this sailboat and in the absence of reaction from the latter".

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9 minutes ago, Fiji Bitter said:

You are the joke here, saying that.

What is a joke though them saying "In spite of an emergency maneuver to avoid this sailboat and in the absence of reaction from the latter".

I guess you're either French, incredibly thin skinned or, more likely, both.

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It is a large and not very nimble boat, my final deployment 20+ years ago was flying Super Éntendards off the boat supporting of the war in Afghanistan. We also operated off the USS Stennis which is 60m  longer and double+ the tonnage.

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1 hour ago, Fiji Bitter said:

You are the joke here, saying that.

What is a joke though them saying "In spite of an emergency maneuver to avoid this sailboat and in the absence of reaction from the latter".

Isn't it mandatory to make derogatory jokes anytime the French military are mentioned?

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1 hour ago, George Dewey said:

I guess you're either French, incredibly thin skinned or, more likely, both.

 

6 minutes ago, SloopJonB said:

Isn't it mandatory to make derogatory jokes anytime the French military are mentioned?

That's 2 who don't get it, who else?

I will stand up to anyone who dimishes the role of Nazi Germany in it's days, that is without a proper historical or moral context. Period.

Nothing to do with being French, thin skinned or whatever.

 

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5 hours ago, Foolish said:

It's a French Aircraft Carrier, so I assume it's only by heroic crew effort that it didn't sink.

 

- come on, we're all thinking it.

One thing I am sure of, no one is in any danger of being hit by a Canadian aircraft carrier.

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43 minutes ago, SloopJonB said:

Isn't it mandatory to make derogatory jokes anytime the French military are mentioned?

Yes, always been mysterious to me.

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4 minutes ago, Jean-Baptiste said:

One thing I am sure of, no one is in any danger of being hit by a Canadian aircraft carrier.

Favorite Canadian military joke:

Leading up to a new campaign The US UK and Canada were discussion what forces they would contribute. The Canadian Minister of defense offered their largest warship, 1/2 of the army and 1/3 of the air force.

Which ended up being, Two Mounties a canoe and a flying squirrel.

 

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26 minutes ago, JohnMB said:

Favorite Canadian military joke:

Leading up to a new campaign The US UK and Canada were discussion what forces they would contribute. The Canadian Minister of defense offered their largest warship, 1/2 of the army and 1/3 of the air force.

Which ended up being, Two Mounties a canoe and a flying squirrel.

 

Don't get us mad.  We have these:

goose.jpg

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2 hours ago, Rain Man said:

Don't get us mad.  We have these:

goose.jpg

And if we get really pissed off we'll burn the White House.

Again.

My favourite Canadian military story was in the paper a few years ago. Apparently in the early 30's they discovered that the American military  had in their contingency plans, plans for invading Canada.

They responded by developing their own contingency plans for a preemptive invasion of America - striking through Illinois and Michigan IIRC.

Included in those plans were such details as acquiring the necessary maps from gas stations along the invasion routes. :lol:

True story.

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We only make fun of the French because we desperately envy them since their offshore race scene is so much healthier and better developed than any other country. 

Edit: Discussing this with son's friends on Discord, we totally agreed that France v Poland is totally something that you'd see in War Thunder

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3 hours ago, Great Red Shark said:

I suppose, sort of... Well, I guess as well as the French can try... Maybe...

Quote

Although 30 divisions advanced to the border (and in some cases across it), the assault never happened. When the quick victory in Poland allowed Germany to reinforce its lines with homecoming troops, the offensive was stopped. The French forces eventually withdrew amid a German counter-offensive on 17 October.

 

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1 hour ago, TheUltimateSockPuppet said:

I have it on good authority that the Captain of the French carrier actually mistook the polish flag for the Australian flag and decided to turn the sailboat into a submarine

Kind of like One Australia?

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22 hours ago, TheUltimateSockPuppet said:

From memory the skipper of the yacht in this instance was a Royal Navy officer

The 3 most useless things on a sailing boat? Umbrella, wheelbarrow and Royal Navy officer ... Though perhaps even more appropriate for US Navy?

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17 minutes ago, cms said:

The 3 most useless things on a sailing boat? Umbrella, wheelbarrow and Royal Navy officer ... Though perhaps even more appropriate for US Navy?

Are we talking useless or actively detrimental?

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18 hours ago, Jean-Baptiste said:

One thing I am sure of, no one is in any danger of being hit by a Canadian aircraft carrier.

You got me there.  My father served on the last Canadian aircraft carrier, 60 years ago.  He often told the story of the time it ran aground on a sand bank, and their weekend leave was cancelled.

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24 minutes ago, Foolish said:

You got me there.  My father served on the last Canadian aircraft carrier, 60 years ago.  He often told the story of the time it ran aground on a sand bank, and their weekend leave was cancelled.

Close, the Canadian carrier was built in the UK, commissioned in Belfast and utilized American aircraft. Canada neither has the ship building capabilities, the aviation manufacturing capabilities, the expertise, nor the funds to maintain a carrier taskforce. 

Canada wrote the cheque, it is a Canadian carrier in the sense that Brazil's current carrier is Brazilian despite the boat being sold to them by the French government with French aircraft as excess to our needs.

OH CANADA indeed!

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue-water_navy

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Back when the French navy flew F8 Crusaders off of whichever carrier they had back in the late sixties, several US F8 pilots whom I knew spent some time interacting with them and spoke very highly of their skill and professionalism. For the record, flying Crusaders off of small carrier decks was not for the faint of heart either for US or French navy pilots. 

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I’m not sure where the continued slights against the French military come from. The fiascos of 1939 were a long time ago. I wonder if making these jokes doesn’t stem from a need to feel superior without actually having to demonstrate it. 

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22 hours ago, George Dewey said:

I guess you're either French, incredibly thin skinned or, more likely, both.

You’re giving that troll way too much credit. We can rule out French, they’re actually good at sailing. Fiji Bitch has never proven any actual offshore credentials. He’s just a whiny asshole. 

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7 minutes ago, kinardly said:

I’m not sure where the continued slights against the French military come from. The fiascos of 1939 were a long time ago. I wonder if making these jokes doesn’t stem from a need to feel superior without actually having to demonstrate it. 

I'm wondering if anyone making such insults has ever served in the military, it seems to me doubtful. I spend a year as a liaison/exchange pilot with VMFA-314 in California, USA, nicest, most talented, dedicated men and women imaginable.

When tour completed and  back for France the commanding officer presented me with my Naval Aviator badge and reminded me I am to be considered a Marine. When I remarked to him I considered my affiliation with French naval aviation superseded this his reply was "Captaine, don't be a pussy."

Quality people, USA lucky to have them.

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My father in law was a career Marine. My dad was a career USAF pilot. I was in the Navy. When we got together we joked that we were a blended family. Every time we met, my FIL would ask “How’s the squid?”. Out of respect I refrained from answering “Fine, Dad, hows the jarhead?”. 
 

Both gone now but sorely missed. 

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34 minutes ago, Jean-Baptiste said:

I'm wondering if anyone making such insults has ever served in the military, it seems to me doubtful.

My personal experience is that people who have served in the military tend to be pretty rude about other military organizations and personnel, and generally the closer the connection the more they feel free to make rude comments (Though generally not in an official capacity :) ). Though they also tend to be fairly protective when 'outsiders' (define as required) pile in on the 'joke'.

A British army officer who will happily make derogatory comments about a Royal Navy officer in the mess (or even in a wardroom), might get very offended if a US civilian did the same.

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7 minutes ago, JohnMB said:

My personal experience is that people who have served in the military tend to be pretty rude about other military organizations and personnel, and generally the closer the connection the more they feel free to make rude comments (Though generally not in an official capacity :) ). Though they also tend to be fairly protective when 'outsiders' (define as required) pile in on the 'joke'.

A British army officer who will happily make derogatory comments about a Royal Navy officer in the mess (or even in a wardroom), might get very offended if a US civilian did the same.

No,  I never knowingly disparaged the various primates, whether enlisted or officers,  in the French army.

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4 hours ago, kinardly said:

I’m not sure where the continued slights against the French military come from. The fiascos of 1939 were a long time ago. I wonder if making these jokes doesn’t stem from a need to feel superior without actually having to demonstrate it. 

It long ago became just a "thing". Sort of like English cooking and other national stereotypes.

One of my favourites of the genre was about a person who was asked to describe the Russian national character;

"They're like Germans - but without the sense of humour".

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If it had been an American carrier. The yacht would have been blown away with friendly fire, while the yacht was sailing away from the area... The rand corporation would report a magnificent victory against heavily armed multiple assault craft..

 

 

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12 hours ago, SloopJonB said:

It long ago became just a "thing". Sort of like English cooking and other national stereotypes.

One of my favourites of the genre was about a person who was asked to describe the Russian national character;

"They're like Germans - but without the sense of humour".

Bravo!

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On 11/12/2021 at 4:43 PM, PaulK said:

All joking aside, yes, this ^^^

I frequently hear people here in the US talking about how Great Britain is America's oldest ally, and wonder why they say that. Clearly, that distinction should go to France.  

On 11/13/2021 at 5:24 AM, Jackett said:

You can say that because America jumped in immediately to help out. 

Oh, wait . . .

Fair enough, we were a bit late to the party. But don't be too quick to point across the Atlantic; that whole appeasement thing with the Munich Agreement didn't work out so well. 

On 11/13/2021 at 3:38 PM, Jean-Baptiste said:

I'm wondering if anyone making such insults has ever served in the military, it seems to me doubtful.

Army here. It's like, you can make fun of your brother, but God help anyone else who does it. 

Back to joking...


Yeah making fun of the French military is a thing, probably because the only war the French ever won was the French Civil War because, well, they were fighting the French.

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23 hours ago, JohnMB said:

My personal experience is that people who have served in the military tend to be pretty rude about other military organizations and personnel, and generally the closer the connection the more they feel free to make rude comments (Though generally not in an official capacity :) ). Though they also tend to be fairly protective when 'outsiders' (define as required) pile in on the 'joke'.

At the end of WWII during the occupation of Japan, my Dad, an Air Force (OK, Army Air Corp) officer was given command of his squadrons Air-Sea Rescue unit.  As a result he "owned" a PT Boat.  Got abuse from both the Air Force and Navy guys.  He didn't care.  He owned a PT boat!

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15 hours ago, George Dewey said:

Yeah making fun of the French military is a thing, probably because the only war the French ever won was the French Civil War because, well, they were fighting the French.

Lets see. WW1 - they fought as part of the allies, and can lay a claim to victory as much as the Brits or Americans. WW2 - bit hard to have a military when you've been invaded (As was pretty much the rest of Europe that didn't side with the Germans, so hard to lame them for that). But there Resistance played their part, and doing what they did takes a hell of a lot of guts.

How many victories have the Americans had since then? Korea? Vietnam? Iraq? Afghanistan? Not saying they weren't wars that needed fighting, or in any way denigrating those who fought in them, but victories?

Us Brits have to be rude to the French - they're our neighbours and historic enemies (and for some, our countrymen if you go back far enough). But its always rude in the same way you're rude to your siblings - you mean it, but you also love them. Bar the extreme brexiteers, skinheads etc - but there are always a few bad apples.

Never understood why the Americans even cared enough to be rude about the French. They've only ever been your allies - helped you out when you needed it (and when it aligned with their countries best interests), you've helped them out when they needed it (and it aligned with your countries best interests) but generally the two countries have had little to do with each other. 

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My father visited France twice as a kid in the ,30s. (Sailed on Norddeutscher Lloyd to Cherbourg).

A few years later he landed near Marseilles. His Springfield was too bulky--he was in radio unit with Artillery, not infantry, and so he tradedvit off to a French underground fighter who had a Carbine.

The French as first ally is not forgotten in military fraternal orgs. For instance the Cincinnati (which Washignton distanced himself from) has a French branch.

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On 11/12/2021 at 1:43 PM, PaulK said:

Yes, but let's not pretend the French were helping us out of the goodness of their hearts, as this frequently is portrayed.  The French were helping us (after we demonstrated that we could beat the British on the battlefield) because they were fighting the British (The Bourbon War, also known as the Anglo-French War 1778-1783), and so anything that might weaken the British...

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On 11/12/2021 at 10:43 PM, PaulK said:

Yes, I was about to point this out, France is the oldest ally of the US as we've helped the USA on the sea even before they were recognised as a country! But yes I know, freedom fries, cheese eating surrender monkeys etc...

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14 minutes ago, Crash said:

Yes, but let's not pretend the French were helping us out of the goodness of their hearts, as this frequently is portrayed.  The French were helping us (after we demonstrated that we could beat the British on the battlefield) because they were fighting the British (The Bourbon War, also known as the Anglo-French War 1778-1783), and so anything that might weaken the British...

Yes... but then during WW2, the US got involved when they realised that they had an "issue" in the Pacific.. you still saved us whatever the intentions!

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Exactly! B)

OBTW, I wasn't complaining.  Victory in the American Revolution without the help of the French might not have happened, or certainly would have taken much longer to achieve.   I was only pointing out that countries typically are looking out for their best interests.  If that happens to be in someone else's interests too, all well and good, that's how alliances are formed.

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37 minutes ago, Crash said:

Yes, but let's not pretend the French were helping us out of the goodness of their hearts, as this frequently is portrayed.  The French were helping us (after we demonstrated that we could beat the British on the battlefield) because they were fighting the British (The Bourbon War, also known as the Anglo-French War 1778-1783), and so anything that might weaken the British...

Fortunately the US is only fighting wars out of the goodness of their hearts, because that is why wars are fought in the first place.

 

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On 11/13/2021 at 2:57 PM, kinardly said:

My father in law was a career Marine. My dad was a career USAF pilot. I was in the Navy. When we got together we joked that we were a blended family. Every time we met, my FIL would ask “How’s the squid?”. Out of respect I refrained from answering “Fine, Dad, hows the jarhead?”. 
 

Both gone now but sorely missed. 

     My Dad was a Navy Officer in charge of the Rochester University Naval Reserve Officer unit and he had a Marine Officer as his second in command. There is a long history of jokes and sparring between the Jarheads and the Squids and the post above reminded me of a joke that those two liked to toss at each other. The roles of the two officers in the joke are interchangeable depending on who tells it.

    A Navy officer goes into the Naval hospital for what the doctors believe is one of the worst cases of hemorrhoids they have ever encountered. The docs are debating on what treatment could be effective for the condition when news that a Marine officer has just been pronounced dead in the Emergency Room due to a motorcycle accident and the organ donor team are sent in. One of the docs comes up with the idea that perhaps an anus transplant might save the Navy patient so they go join the donor team to 'harvest' the Marines anus. This was the first time such an operation had been attempted but it was soon completed and the Navy patient was soon showing positive results from the transplant much to everyone's relief. 

    Within a couple of days the Navy fellow was feeling well enough that he could get up and about and even was able to start eating semi-solid foods once more. Then unexpectedly he died a week after the operation. A thorough investigation of just what caused the death after only one week determined that the Marine's asshole had undergone a tissue rejection of the Naval Officer...

    Sorry Dad, I got the roles in this joke reversed!

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7 hours ago, Jackett said:

Lets see. WW1 - they fought as part of the allies, and can lay a claim to victory as much as the Brits or Americans. WW2 - bit hard to have a military when you've been invaded (As was pretty much the rest of Europe that didn't side with the Germans, so hard to lame them for that). But there Resistance played their part, and doing what they did takes a hell of a lot of guts. 

Blah blah blah...

I guess you missed the part earlier in the post where I complimented the French for their role in the American revolution, then said "Okay back to joking", all of which you deliberately omitted from your quote in a feeble attempt to pick a fight. Just lighten up. 

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9 hours ago, AnotherSailor said:

Fortunately the US is only fighting wars out of the goodness of their hearts, because that is why wars are fought in the first place.

 

Can't remember the we fought any war out of the goodness of our hearts...at best, maybe our best interests have coincided a couple times with the worlds best interests, but even that is a pretty limited number of times...

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On 11/13/2021 at 7:39 AM, Fiji Bitter said:

You are the joke here, saying that.

What is a joke though them saying "In spite of an emergency maneuver to avoid this sailboat and in the absence of reaction from the latter".

Ah Jack you old contrarian you...

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10 hours ago, Panoramix said:

Yes, I was about to point this out, France is the oldest ally of the US as we've helped the USA on the sea even before they were recognised as a country! But yes I know, freedom fries, cheese eating surrender monkeys etc...

Nevertheless, what are the chances of a Aircraft Carrier reversing into a sailing boat?

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12 hours ago, fastyacht said:

My father visited France twice as a kid in the ,30s. (Sailed on Norddeutscher Lloyd to Cherbourg).

A few years later he landed near Marseilles. His Springfield was too bulky--he was in radio unit with Artillery, not infantry, and so he tradedvit off to a French underground fighter who had a Carbine.

The French as first ally is not forgotten in military fraternal orgs. For instance the Cincinnati (which Washignton distanced himself from) has a French branch.

My Grandfather flew over it a few times in 1944.

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On 11/14/2021 at 6:25 AM, Monkey said:

You’re giving that troll way too much credit. We can rule out French, they’re actually good at sailing. Fiji Bitch has never proven any actual offshore credentials. He’s just a whiny asshole. 

No you are wrong. When posting as Jack Sparrow he often reminded us how he was the greatest sailor the internet has ever seen. He quoted himself often to prove it.

Jack the Bitter Fijian, is completely off his trolley.

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On 11/14/2021 at 6:13 AM, kinardly said:

I’m not sure where the continued slights against the French military come from. The fiascos of 1939 were a long time ago. I wonder if making these jokes doesn’t stem from a need to feel superior without actually having to demonstrate it. 

As history shows, the winners get to write history. And the French came third...

 

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19 hours ago, Waynemarlow said:

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Wayne, may be you should train your ear to differentiate a German accent from a French one...

You mixed up your stereotypes!

Such hard work to get out the right stereotype at the right time!

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On 11/13/2021 at 12:56 AM, Great Red Shark said:

 

On 11/13/2021 at 4:09 AM, George Dewey said:

I suppose, sort of... Well, I guess as well as the French can try... Maybe...

 

The interesting part is at the bottom of the wikipedia article:

Quote

At the Nuremberg Trials, German military commander Alfred Jodl said that "if we did not collapse already in the year 1939 that was due only to the fact that during the Polish campaign, the approximately 110 French and British divisions in the West were held completely inactive against the 23 German divisions."[12] General Siegfried Westphal stated that if the French had attacked in full force in September 1939 the German army "could only have held out for one or two weeks."[13]

 

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11 minutes ago, h20man said:

 

The interesting part is at the bottom of the wikipedia article:

 

Yeah, this is essentially the dilemma faced by all military commanders when defending democracies. They know fully well if you decide to go, go big, you never tie one hand behind your back and tell your adversary “We’re going to half kick your ass until you stop”. But you have to wait until the hawks, fence sitters, doves and appeasers in the political apparatus argue and concur that this is necessary. That’s the good part of democracy. But if the consensus is less than perfect, as was apparently the case with a French public still recovering from the bloodletting of the First World War, there is reluctance to commit overwhelming force and appear too eager for combat. So you go in half assed and get yours handed to you.
 

in the case in point, it wasn’t just the French who dithered. The Chamberlain government had a lot to do with it as well.  The US, OTOH, enjoyed the luxury of full public support once the battle was joined, thanks to a political miscalculation on the part of Japanese leadership. Historians have noted that Japanese and German leaders consistently dismissed the Allies’ call for unconditional surrender as empty posturing. It wasn’t. It was the universal mandate of the American and British publics. And the rest, as they say, is history- as recorded by the victors.
 

Back to the topic, if you encounter an aircraft carrier, try very hard to keep the fuck out of the way. 

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