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Detroit's Bayview Yacht Club Expands Shuffleboard Outreach Program

Non-drinking club members "disappointed" with program funding plan.

By CScow Associated Press

January 3, 2009. Detroit, MI

Updated: 17 minutes ago

 

Detroit's Bayview Yacht Club announced plans to expand its Shuffleboard Outreach Program, in response to sudden and rapidly growing demand.

 

Program funding remains controversial, with older, more conservative, alcohol and drug-free members expressing disappointment in the younger executive board's decision to sell the club's entire sailing fleet for "essentially free". Sources close to the negotiations revealed an outside buyer's offer of $10 cash and 5 gallons of Belgian Tripel Ale per yacht will be accepted Monday, pending beer approval, after an independent New York consulting firm, Hudson Deepwater Pier Oceanography Institute, assured the board that the Great Lakes are and would remain solid, dry land.

 

Such a move would not have been consiidered mere days ago. Historically, Bayview has been home of many deep water, shallow water, and downright beached Sailormen, few of which had ever expressed interest in Shuffleboard. All of that gradually changed Wednesday, as the Great Lakes evaporated over a 10 minute period, fast and nimble as a gazelle, leaving club yachts laying on their sides, as if to mimic dying turtles or beached whales.

 

One club member, drunk and speaking off the record, supports the Outreach program but shares common club concerns regarding funding plans.

 

"Sure, it's sad. Our members live and breath to sail. Many drained 401K's to get their own boats, plus sell modern art paintings on the side to pay club dues needed to maintain the club fleet. One of them saw a Picasso painting in an art museum once. Another had his picture in the paper, where you can see him sitting in the 5th row at a Redwings game. To such dedicated, hard working, prestigious Sailormen, trading our entire flleet for a small stack of $10 bills and beer seems like a raw deal. But what are you gonna do? Sailboats don't have much use anymore, now that the Great Lakes are gone. We converted a few into playground equipment for the kids, and several of our Sailing Anarchy members insisted they would make great bird houses. But hell, after they finish installing the last of the dozen 40-foot bird houses on Danish King's Forrest poles, we will still have an awful lot of worthless sailboats on our hands. Nope. It hurts, but taking cash and beer is the best deal we are going to get. At least we will end up with a solid Shuffleboard program. And beer".

 

Club members include, in addition to misguided Redwings hockey fans, actual Redwing hockey players, several of which have volunteered to step up in support of the Shuffleboard outreach effort. Defenseman Chris Chelios, a Chicago traitor and former Blackhawk, standing a mere 5' 2" tall and weighing in at a featherweight 130 pounds when out of uniform and soaking wet, believes stepping up and giving something back to the Detroit community is important. "Detroit has been good to me. Back in Chicago, yacht clubs usually only gave me Budweiser for teaching them how to shoot a proper Shuffleboard slap shot. Here in Detroit, I hear they are offering 9% Belgian Tripel Ale. Count me in!!!!".

 

Jesus, you're killing me. :lol: How about including our friendly Canadian neighbors on the next one?

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I haven't heard of this type of cruise before, if it is in real then i would like to go for it. It will be very adventurous and even i want to know that how this experience will be, I have some friend

Translation ... "Sorry dude, no names and/or locations because I made it all up."   Reality ... Reid "supporters" rise up in direct opposition of "rabidity" of Reid bashers.   For instance, look a

Why is it that you demand that other people prove their assertions to your satisfaction while you spout oft bizarre theories that utterly defy reason and expect to be taken seriously?.   Stowe isn't

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Hey nit pickers, Reid is still out there sailing....

 

...drifting...

 

 

Indeed, making all of 3 knots with 30 knots of breeze. Hope this fool comes to his senses before SAR people have to risk life and limb to save him.

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so, I changed HOW many words in my signature so far? 5 or 10? let me know if you can't see them, I'll put em in the notes, too!

 

Sparky,

 

You have had to change a lot more than 5 -10 words in your signature, and there are still many glaring errors in it.

 

Your signature is starting to resemble the brochure at the 1000days site, constantly changing due to reality catching up with fantasy.

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mail call! STILL HERE AWAITING MORE PUNISHMENT, AREN'T YA?

 

'JPlanet' said: So you're back from your evening deliveries? Still boring as always. Do you seriously think anybody is going to wade through that ton of shit you compulsively type?

 

dude, they been paying attention (and wading through) to your drivel for 600 DAYS NOW...

 

so, I changed HOW many words in my signature so far? 5 or 10? let me know if you can't see them, I'll put em in the notes, too!

 

repetition is good for idiots...

Try and do the math, if yur ignorant brain can wrap itself around that ~ 620 days of.... nonsense here?

 

ANd, continuous sailing somewhere else?

 

IMAGINE what you might learn if you guys had spent a TOTAL of that amount of time on the water in your LIFETIMES?

 

 

I made Haile a special cake to commemorate his(HER) victory :D

 

3161810933_4cae8143b7_o.jpg

 

 

nice cake~ too bad you can't actually do anything with your life but look for pictures on the web ~ think what valuable nonsense the boating community avoids while you spend your time lookin for just the right picture over and over again on the web ~ congrats again!

 

Stalker the DOGFACE said:

 

You must be referring to the Ex Mrs. Dog Face. We've got a good relationship. I'll touch base with her over the weekend and have her sign up here and comment.

 

I have to give you credit for being fun, Sparky. How do you type with those socks on your hands? Keep it up shittard.

 

Idiot.

 

BTW - There's a sense of humor for sale on E-Bay -->

 

 

GOOD, DOGFACE (shithead) ~ and EVEN better for the ex-mrs dogface! PLEASE bring her as your ticket to any 1000D event ~ it would be wonderful to qvetch with her about your lil "talents" :lol:and hear her special nickmnames for your lack of manhood ~

 

uh, dude ~ "sense of humor" does NOT equal malicious stalking!

 

buy yourself a LIFE somewhere else, at someone else's expense. (I'm sure the ex mrs dogface has volumes to tell about that!)

 

Hope you are up to date on the child support! make sure the checks are on time, after ALL, you are the "watchdog" aren't ya spanky butt?

funny how I can type with socks on my fingers and still keep ya in stitches, isn't it? after what ~ 3 or 4 days, and 99.95% of your drivel is disporoven?

You folks gotta learn some RESPECT:

 

for anyone, he, she OR IT that is accomplishing ANYTHING ANYWHERE while you sit here and drool all over yourselves pretending you got another life... somewhere... somehow... and get your butts spanked, over and over and over and over.

 

That's ok ~ you got plenty to learn, and we got PLENTY o time!

 

I'm not hurting any cause ~ but I AM getting in your pants ~ which is more than you can say anyone ELSE wants to

 

:lol::lol:

 

too bad I have to wear socks on my fingers ~ but, then again, you guys aren't worth the time it takes to "take off my gloves"

 

:P

 

LA-HOO-S.A.'s

 

Love and kisses! and I am sure that the rest of the "mrs's" ex or not are happy you spend your time HERE getting spanked rather than spankin off to the internet porn you guys spent your time with before you had a special "crush" to spank (and get yourselves spanked) by!

 

lovenkisses always

 

your new "he-she" crush,

 

sparky

 

PS ~ still awaiting that EXTRA SPECIAL sauce you got, dogface ~ cmawn, show me the meat ~ ooops forgot agin ~ there ain't none!

 

Can't WAIT to hear from the ex (bot) DOGFACE... give us your best chickie, BAYATCH!

I don't usually do this, or even care. But I want to take a guess at who Sparky is. The multiple personalities, the flamboyant actions, the androgony. The odd fascination with RD's male body parts. Are you the Barbie collector / astronomer? Because if you are, thats too bad. I think many here thought that, while odd, he/she seemed to be fairly intelligent, but now this would ruin all that.

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mail call!!

 

 

'Regatta STALKER said:

 

Seriously...I'm short of breath from laughing.

 

"Thanks Idiot."

this is all ya got for a response? "Thanks, idiot"????

 

keep laughing, please ~ laughter's the only useful thing that can come out of your dog mouth.

 

your "threats" about bringing a "gun", and then your quick denials of "not having a gun" make me spit myself laughing, and oh yes, keep the park police newly notified of your "capabilities" and mindset. SHOW US YOUR TITS, and then

 

SHUTHEF***UP! It's the BEST thing you can do with your (and OUR) time....

 

"frenchie quoted slightly salty n said:

 

(slightly salty) Hey nit pickers, Reid is still out there sailing....

 

"frenchie" ...drifting...

 

proves what I've been saying all along ~ you guys just can't READ, even though you "Reid" everyday ~

 

 

Day 620 - January 1, 2009...

 

".... before I could furl the main sail and coil the lines, we were catching the wave tops at seven knots. You must remember this is the schooner Anne, an old fashioned cargo hull design full of tons of water food and supplies. We are quite different than an expensive high tech carbon fiber racing machine..."

see, if you folks had every been out of your backyard, on a boat longer than 10 feet (who was the taxi-boy who posted before? I dont remember...) you'd KNOW about forward speed and how it works ~ and ALSO be WELL aware how good a sailor you are bashing incoherently.

 

 

billy back said:

 

Indeed, making all of 3 knots with 30 knots of breeze. Hope this fool comes to his senses before SAR people have to risk life and limb to save him.

 

AHHH more physical threats to interfere with a boat on the water... and for speed, "speed" read the above and TRY to concentrate!

 

REALLY, you girls give "shrimpboat" a whole new meaning.

 

As for the folk who claimed I'm out of the looney bin... hmmmm why don' you spend some time and review the BS you have been burping here for the last 400 pages and 20,000 posts (nearly 3,000 of which came from dogface, who YES, is the primary target for the whip)

 

hail the new avatar!

 

love,

 

sparkydaWHIP

 

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wow, so sparks is a chick. there were hints but i didn't want to believe it. "surely those are the rants of of a 15 yr old boy who's gotten a friction burn and can't play with his favorite toy" but no. it's apperantly a grown woman with the mouth of a gutter troll totaly obsessed with weid and his and everyones twig and berries.

what happed sparks, weidy jilted you for a younger model and took soanya on his dream drift. now you hope to win him back with your display of undying devotion and beat down all the naysayers withn your rabid defence of all things weid.

sadly, there's no future in it sparks. if weid dose make it back he'll ditch just like he did every other time it was time to stand up to responsability. he won't come back for you, been there, done her, sold the t-shirt.

sparks, your just another tool in weids box and we've all seen how he treats his tools. i just hope you don't get hurt is all.

luv ya,

pud

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Sparky,

 

If you happen to have a lucid moment today could you address why you continue to post this in your signature?

 

6. That the crew of the Anne has actually been able to see land after @ May of 2007 (see metocean tracking).

 

This is from Wikipedia:

According to The Age, the schooner Anne was to maintain a position beyond sight of land during the transfer so Mr Stowe could continue his attempt to break records.[8] Mr. Barello reported to the Daily News, however, that: "They're not going to go to port, but they will be within sight of land. They wanted to do it further out, but there are some strong gale-like winds."[

 

And of course that photo.

 

Thanks,

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I don't usually do this, or even care. But I want to take a guess at who Sparky is. The multiple personalities, the flamboyant actions, the androgony. The odd fascination with RD's male body parts. Are you the Barbie collector / astronomer? Because if you are, thats too bad. I think many here thought that, while odd, he/she seemed to be fairly intelligent, but now this would ruin all that.

 

chinaboy:

although I ABHOR the topic "guess who I am" I REALLY love it when you guys violate your term of use here over and over again, and prove yourselves to be nothing but stalkers who threaten your own thread with your further attempts at privacy invasion.

 

WRONG AGAIN!

 

once again, i THINK you are talking about OTHER PEOPLE WITH JOBS... GET one, and leave MC and Reid and all of his supporters ALONE.

 

They won't mind!

 

love,

 

sparky

PS, oh and mr "mcpud": what's the problem, sweetie? I can't beLIEVE this is the first time you've had a new (mouth) hole torn in by a chickie.... I'm not attracted to Reid, but the reliable word is, it's not only his BOAT which is bigger than all of yours ~ :lol::lol:

 

The only thing I am attracted to is making sure you lil peggers get your whippins! and by golly, whether you like me, or can guess who I am I am doin that.

 

oh, and sorry for the pottymouth ~ just returning your "favors" over and over again.

 

ciao!

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Sparky,

 

If you happen to have a lucid moment today could you address why you continue to post this in your signature?

 

6. That the crew of the Anne has actually been able to see land after @ May of 2007 (see metocean tracking).

 

This is from Wikipedia:

According to The Age, the schooner Anne was to maintain a position beyond sight of land during the transfer so Mr Stowe could continue his attempt to break records.[8] Mr. Barello reported to the Daily News, however, that: "They're not going to go to port, but they will be within sight of land. They wanted to do it further out, but there are some strong gale-like winds."[

 

And of course that photo.

 

Thanks,

 

OK, dinghy boy ~ I'll allow that, though i doubt he paid much attention to land, if he could in fact see it when he was parting with someone he loved.

 

That means, HOW many corrections for teach? hmmm, let's see ~ she moved 5 "non sailing" topics out, replaced them with 5 sailing terms, and now, becaue you guys see land everytime there's a picture of a wave on the boat (because you haven't SEEN waves that big in Buzzard's Bay or the great lake from your backyard before).

 

At least you guys are learning your "Reid"ing better ~ I'll stay for more whippin!

 

love

 

daWHIP

 

 

 

TABOR 1976 = backyard boy 2009 (and STILL countin!)

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Reid is no longer a deadbeat dad!

 

I did a search of the Child Support database and there are no longer outstanding warrants for Reid. I updated 1000 days reality check as well as his wiki page to reflect this significant change in his asshattery.

 

The post at the NY Daily News by liboy that confirmed his deadbeat dad status and SA naysayers spreading the word appear to have played a role in motivating Reid and MC to resolve the issue.

 

It will be interesting to find out how it was taken care of. Hopefully he's learned his lesson and parental responsibility won't become an issue with the newest addition to the Stowe clan.

 

Congratulations, Reid, for actually accomplishing something worthwhile. Better late than never.

 

EDIT -- Tabman - I'll take 4 of those shirts! :lol:

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Posted · Hidden by JPlanet, August 28, 2010 - No reason given
Hidden by JPlanet, August 28, 2010 - No reason given
No way is Sparky connected with MC. The big question is............Which mental facility did he escape from?

 

 

I disagree. I think they take turns trolling here. Now we have SPARKY ~ the proud new voice of Reid Stowe and 1000 Days. Nice representation, isn't it?

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Reid is no longer a deadbeat dad!

 

I did a search of the Child Support database and there are no longer outstanding warrants for Reid. I updated 1000 days reality check as well as his wiki page to reflect this significant change in his asshattery.

 

The post at the NY Daily News by liboy that confirmed his deadbeat dad status and SA naysayers spreading the word appear to have played a role in motivating Reid and MC to resolve the issue.

 

It will be interesting to find out how it was taken care of. Hopefully he's learned his lesson and parental responsibility won't become an issue with the newest addition to the Stowe clan.

 

Congratulations, Reid, for actually accomplishing something worthwhile. Better late than never.

 

Yep.. what's 30+ years... Bravo Zulu!

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Reid is no longer a deadbeat dad!

 

I did a search of the Child Support database and there are no longer outstanding warrants for Reid. I updated 1000 days reality check as well as his wiki page to reflect this significant change in his asshattery.

 

The post at the NY Daily News by liboy that confirmed his deadbeat dad status and SA naysayers spreading the word appear to have played a role in motivating Reid and MC to resolve the issue.

 

It will be interesting to find out how it was taken care of. Hopefully he's learned his lesson and parental responsibility won't become an issue with the newest addition to the Stowe clan.

 

Congratulations, Reid, for actually accomplishing something worthwhile. Better late than never.

 

there ya go, dogface ~ prove your worth and skills as a stalker! and it takes a BIG BOY to admit he's been corrected, doesn't it?

 

now add more time on the water than anyone here, and maybe you can actually say you have "learned something" can'tcha?

neutering the dog was never so fun!

 

(SPIT MY TITS laughing)

Jstalker said:

 

I disagree. I think they take turns trolling here. Now we have SPARKY ~ the proud voice of Reid Stowe and 1000 Days. Nice representation, isn't it?

 

I think I am catching up with YOUR presentation style, aren't I??

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Posted · Hidden by JPlanet, August 28, 2010 - No reason given
Hidden by JPlanet, August 28, 2010 - No reason given
Hey, I just noticed there is a new addition to the 1000days store.

 

ptee.jpg

 

 

OMG!!!!!!!! THAT'S GREAT TABMAN!! :lol::lol::lol:

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there ya go, dogface ~ prove your worth and skills as a stalker! and it takes a BIG BOY to admit he's been corrected, doesn't it?

 

now add more time on the water than anyone here, and maybe you can actually say you have "learned something" can'tcha?

neutering the dog was never so fun!

 

(SPIT MY TITS laughing)

 

I've been corrected? Don't you mean that Reid finally satisfied a 30 year old debt to society?

 

I'm obviously no fan of the guy, but I think it is important for people to get the real story on Reid Stowe and not just the crap you idiots are trying to toss out there.

 

My time on the water is quite significant, and I learn something new almost every time I'm out there.

 

If you spit your tits they must be some hefty saggers. You have to stand on your head to do that?

 

Idiot.

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I've been corrected?

 

YES! and don't make me run back and help you remember your nonsense better.

 

Don't you mean that Reid finally satisfied a 30 year old debt to society?

Well, that's part of it: but actually it's just more proof you are a stalker, dogface, with nuttin better to do but to keep paying attention to someone you actually don't LIKE. so you can SHMEAR and SHMEAR afresh.

Get's you a life, don't it, shitforbrains?

I'm obviously no fan of the guy, but I think it is important for people to get the real story on Reid Stowe and not just the crap you idiots are trying to toss out there.

UMMM, shhhhaweetie ~ I'm the one who told you he paid the support ~ you're just so fucking SLOW it took you a week to admit the corrections to just one of 30 of the past SHMEARS your asscheeks have been leaving on the seats here for 600+ days.

 

There's more education to come, shweatymarbles... for you and the whole S-A-HOLE family. Hold on to your seats! (it's your best n only talent!)

 

My time on the water is quite significant, and I learn something new almost every time I'm out there.

 

Dude, I'm not talking about the puddle under your chair ~ I'm talking about DEEPWATER.

 

If you spit your tits they must be some hefty saggers. You have to stand on your head to do that?

 

show me YOUR tit's SHMEAR! cmon, NO ONE here thinks your packin anything but a wee wittle one with your lil marbles.... bring it! show us your BEST SHMEAR, VOID HOLE. cmon, bring it! you're boring me!

 

Idiot.

 

Idiot, GO TAKE A SHOWER. I'm sure (and the reports agree) YOU NEED ONE.

 

Here's a picture of the whole SA family.... tshirts are $5 for fans, $10 for SA stalkers ~

 

i know you all need a change of clothes!

 

LOVE DA WHIP

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You got the t-shirt wrong, sparky, since the guy in the leotard is WEid's boy Carter. You should know that. If you google Carter Emmart you can see his 'Mars Exploration Drawings', which is probably how he and WEid connected. Carter would never support SA.

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so, I changed HOW many words in my signature so far? 5 or 10? let me know if you can't see them, I'll put em in the notes, too!

 

Sparky,

 

You have had to change a lot more than 5 -10 words in your signature, and there are still many glaring errors in it.

Your signature is starting to resemble the brochure at the 1000days site, constantly changing due to reality catching up with fantasy.

 

 

Sparkly Whore posted a Word Game for us? I love Word Games!

Hey Sparkly ~ here's one to help you pass the time while you monitor the thread. Just for you! You're welcome :)

 

3163960282_ec177a2d2b.jpg

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Good to know you guys are finding more hobbies! and becoming more ED-U-Cated and thoughtful in your responses!

 

A FEW things, though, you should remember, in your never-ending search for TRUTH from your deluded fictional sense in this thread, and your ever-present need to keep stalking anyone and everyone who has a positive opinion about Mr. Stowe and his MOST EXCELLENT sail...

 

1. I in no way represent MC, nor any thought from mr. Stowe in my writings and teachings here. I am merely someone who has followed this "cruise" for quite some time, know the craft and boats and sailing, know the personalities involved (Thank GOD i only know of you people from what I read here! Let's try and keep it that way, please??) and have been infuriated by the things I have heard purported here. All of my teachings come from easily available facts... and the rumors and facts I get from being on their mailing list. You should join! it's FREE... and most entertaining and educational!

 

2. As far as I know, none of the people in MC come here to read your crap, because they KNOW it's all bullshit! And none have any desire to help you, because they realize you guys can help yourself... after ALL, you "Reid" as much as anyone, huh?

 

3. I have long since known you people are filled with nothing but nonsensical mirth. I'm just bringing it on back to you in spades! However, I have nothing but the aim of TRUTH to bring here, and thanks to you for allowing me to teach you!

 

4. All this bean said, You REALLY should review your terms of membership VERY carefully when you continue to ask me any more personal questions. They're not appropriate ~ as another sailor once said "I yam what I yam". And I will be only that which I am here... no more, no less. TRY AND RESIST the urge to stalk me, too, please? It's actually against the law, not only in this form, but electronically, AND in REAL life (which i know none of you knows about because none of you GOTS one.)

 

And you're right, I DID get the TShirt wrong!! my bad!!! I KNEW it was missing somethin! Sorry, SHHHWEAT-ies! here it is for ya... price is goin up tho, cause I had to add letters for ya.... it's now $20...

 

cmon, that's as much as you guys' wives pay in internet fees for a week so you can keep your umbilical connection to Reid intact. (!)

 

love,

 

sparky

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I for one am happy to see that Sparkly Whore is LEARNING that if she wants anybody to pay any attention to her ramblings, she needs to knock off the stupid font assortment, bold/not, attempt to keep it brief, and control her temper. At this rate, I might even read it if she continues on this better path.........

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sparky please, YOUR TEACHINGS, ppphhhhtttttt! are you up on the yoga platform with JC, Budda & weid now.

 

who else thinks sparky will snap before weid makes the horn?

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I for one am happy to see that Sparkly Whore is LEARNING that if she wants anybody to pay any attention to her ramblings, she needs to knock off the stupid font assortment, bold/not, attempt to keep it brief, and control her temper. At this rate, I might even read it if she continues on this better path.........

 

No learning involved, their's different styles because there's at least two MC sockpuppet sparky's posting.

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You got the t-shirt wrong, sparky, since the guy in the leotard is WEid's boy Carter. You should know that. If you google Carter Emmart you can see his 'Mars Exploration Drawings', which is probably how he and WEid connected. Carter would never support SA.

 

 

I guess I was wrong, Sparkyho isn't the Barbie collector since his picture is on the Tshirt that sparkyho produced.

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MAIL CALL: NEUTERING THE BOY DOG(S), PART 37 of a continuing series

 

 

JPlanet' said:

 

I for one am happy to see that Sparkly Whore is LEARNING that if she wants anybody to pay any attention to her ramblings, she needs to knock off the stupid font assortment, bold/not, attempt to keep it brief, and control her temper. At this rate, I might even read it if she continues on this better path.........

 

it's hard, with so many of you morons to teach, and so many quotations, to be sure that you read the important stuff, so, hence the boldface, shitface. Sorry about the temper ~ it's definitely warranted from your commentary though, shithead!

Oh, you'll "Reid" on that, we are all sure! You can't stop!

mr MCPUD said:

 

sparky please, YOUR TEACHINGS, ppphhhhtttttt! are you up on the yoga platform with JC, Budda & weid now.

 

who else thinks sparky will snap before weid makes the horn?

 

why dorothy, I've ALREADY snapped ~ and will keep snappin my fingers to get your wee wittle brains to think for as long as it takes to teach you truth, love AND obedience to the facts!

 

Hey Sparky. If you're not part of MC, how'd you know about the child support thing a week before it was taken care of on line?

 

Idiot.

 

ooooooooooooh, more stalking mysteries to answer, DOGFACE. :unsure: keepin ya busy...

 

it IS strange that the "idiot" knew more than you did before she GOT here isn't it... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm let's try and use that 22cm frontal lobe more often, and maybe you'd be out there trying to DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF other than shmearing people with honest, positive and exuberant intents.

 

(And I WOULD like to include mySELF in those with "honest and exuberant intents" ~ CAN'T be "positive" in my intent here, because I have to take some ruthless care to wield the pre-frontal scalpel with you dimwits ~)

Plans and efforts were in place well before the 500 day party (for that matter, before launch) to see to it that child support was satisfied honestly, somehow, without public money. And everyone (sane) who knew the project well enough, not JUST MC, had enough information to know that. It's something that Reid was DEEPLY personally concerned with for many years.

 

As with many personal things, yes, of course Reid would rather someone didn't stalk his every word in order to promote themselves as you do... so, easy on handing out the credit to yourself, tweezerdick, once again, the futility of your own existence is AMPLY PROVEN.

 

(And you personally display your lack of skill and thought.)

But you'll learn, neuterboy, you'll learn ~ the HARD WAY!

 

it's hard to find those nutsies, but we'll chop em off, one by one. Keep paying attention, and you'll find your real identity, TOOLSACK.

 

I am loving takin the exacto knife to you, once slice at a time... it's fun!

 

"all in due time, dorothy; all in due time" :blink:

 

TOOL.

 

:lol:

 

love,

 

mama-de-EXACTOWHIP

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I for one am happy to see that Sparkly Whore is LEARNING that if she wants anybody to pay any attention to her ramblings, she needs to knock off the stupid font assortment, bold/not, attempt to keep it brief, and control her temper. At this rate, I might even read it if she continues on this better path.........

did she get rid of the tardtastic sig line yet?

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Plans and efforts were in place well before the 500 day party (for that matter, before launch) to see to it that child support was satisfied honestly, somehow, without public money. And everyone (sane) who knew the project well enough, not JUST MC, had enough information to know that. It's something that Reid was DEEPLY personally concerned with for many years.

 

If Reid was DEEPLY concerned for many years, why didn't he get a job and pay it off? Why did he leave on his trip before it was taken care of? His actions do not match your words.

 

It was paid off while he was at sea, so he certainly didn't pay for it himself, unless he used donation money that was clearly supposed to go toward communications and operations.

 

Idiot.

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I for one am happy to see that Sparkly Whore is LEARNING that if she wants anybody to pay any attention to her ramblings, she needs to knock off the stupid font assortment, bold/not, attempt to keep it brief, and control her temper. At this rate, I might even read it if she continues on this better path.........

did she get rid of the tardtastic sig line yet?

 

no, b'ellie with the balls, but since you don't see it, I'll take CARE to offer you the new SA.asshole tshirt ~ did ya see that you are on it, baby?

 

 

Right on front, with your half (wit) brothers doggieface the stalker and fwank the zappawannabe.... or is it J-dinghy and asswolf? or ... who were those guys? oh, i don't know, all you idiots look (and SOUND) so much alike, dontcha?)

 

I put the list of ten stupidites you helped author on the back for your special version !

 

Thanks for the family pictures, by the way, though! how are those too-tight boobies? did the warm towels help any? can;t do much with cheap hillbilly silly-cone in this weather can ya??

 

muah, shwweaaty ~

 

love.

 

mamaDEwhip

 

PS, ok class is OVAH for awhile here ~ you can go back to talking great lakes n hockey pucks!

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did she get rid of the tardtastic sig line yet?

 

We can only hope

lmao! it's not worth checking...i would like to thank rd and jp for suffering to read that tripe so the rest of us don't have to.

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Nice try Sparks. Everyone knows that all good Hovians, yourself included, have closely followed this thread for quite some time.

 

All are welcome.

 

Always enjoyed the sweet contradiction that the liberal free spirited enlightened ministers of Hovia will not accept any dissent or criticism of their propaganda. Peace, Love and toe the party line.....or else.

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Plans and efforts were in place well before the 500 day party (for that matter, before launch) to see to it that child support was satisfied honestly, somehow, without public money. And everyone (sane) who knew the project well enough, not JUST MC, had enough information to know that. It's something that Reid was DEEPLY personally concerned with for many years.

 

If Reid was DEEPLY concerned for many years, why didn't he get a job and pay it off? Why did he leave on his trip before it was taken care of? His actions do not match your words.

 

It was paid off while he was at sea, so he certainly didn't pay for it himself, unless he used donation money that was clearly supposed to go toward communications and operations.

 

Idiot.

 

 

Or when he sold that Basquiat painting for $94,000 in 2002? He could have paid it off then when his daughter was .... Soanya's age.

Yep, IT'S an idiot

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I for one am happy to see that Sparkly Whore is LEARNING that if she wants anybody to pay any attention to her ramblings, she needs to knock off the stupid font assortment, bold/not, attempt to keep it brief, and control her temper. At this rate, I might even read it if she continues on this better path.........

did she get rid of the tardtastic sig line yet?

 

no, b'ellie with the balls, but since you don't see it, I'll take CARE to offer you the new SA.asshole tshirt ~ did ya see that you are on it, baby?

 

 

Right on front, with your half (wit) brothers doggieface the stalker and fwank the zappawannabe.... or is it J-dinghy and asswolf? or ... who were those guys? oh, i don't know, all you idiots look (and SOUND) so much alike, dontcha?)

 

I put the list of ten stupidites you helped author on the back for your special version !

 

Thanks for the family pictures, by the way, though! how are those too-tight boobies? did the warm towels help any? can;t do much with cheap hillbilly silly-cone in this weather can ya??

 

muah, shwweaaty ~

 

love.

 

mamaDEwhip

 

PS, ok class is OVAH for awhile here ~ you can go back to talking great lakes n hockey pucks!

Sparky, you should sell your t-shirts thru the 1000 day store, you might sell one or two.

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If Reid was DEEPLY concerned for many years, why didn't he get a job and pay it off? Why did he leave on his trip before it was taken care of? His actions do not match your words.

 

It was paid off while he was at sea, so he certainly didn't pay for it himself, unless he used donation money that was clearly supposed to go toward communications and operations.

 

Idiot.

 

Back from the shower already? hmmmm, more intrigue! :blink::unsure:

UH, dorothy ~ some personal things are things that are personal, no matter how "public" portions of this cruise are, there are some things you really aren't ENTITLED to know ~ and as for jobs, we've been there. You can "REID" now learn to READ.

 

I have no other comment for you on this matter ~ none is warranted.

 

TOOLBAG. You'll figure it out, and once again, get your "facts" wrong. I'm countin on it!

And, you idiots ~ Reid never owned the Basquait ~ it was sold by Basquait's estate. DUH!

REALLY takes it out of a girl to teach THIS third-grade DD class the facts...

ciao for now!

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Plans and efforts were in place well before the 500 day party (for that matter, before launch) to see to it that child support was satisfied honestly, somehow, without public money. And everyone (sane) who knew the project well enough, not JUST MC, had enough information to know that. It's something that Reid was DEEPLY personally concerned with for many years.

 

If Reid was DEEPLY concerned for many years, why didn't he get a job and pay it off? Why did he leave on his trip before it was taken care of? His actions do not match your words.

 

It was paid off while he was at sea, so he certainly didn't pay for it himself, unless he used donation money that was clearly supposed to go toward communications and operations.

 

Idiot.

 

 

Or when he sold that Basquiat painting for $94,000 in 2002? He could have paid it off then when his daughter was .... Soanya's age.

Yep, IT'S an idiot

 

 

 

 

 

Time to prioritize

 

First-pay off outstanding child support.

 

Second- go drifting for 1000 days with some other young thing and oops.....you know the rest.

 

Or the reverse.

 

 

If public scrutiny had not been brought to the situation that debt would most likely remain unfulfilled. Apparently if he hadn't hit the freighter the debt would still remain outstanding.

 

Great way to raise money. Will he spend the rest of his days, however many that may be, hunting commercial shipping to further tap this source of funding? By the way, Maersk settled awfully easy without adjusters, surveyors, etc.. Have to look into that.

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Sparky, you should sell your t-shirts thru the 1000 day store, you might sell one or two.

 

 

You know, FWANKY_WANKY, with YOUR picture on the front of it, that may well prove true ~ you may have an idea at that!

we'll see ~ maybe they'll go for it!

 

probably not, though ~ I'm sure they don't want to help promote you.

 

thanks for the suggestion, tho ~

 

now class is DEINFITELY ovah for the afternoon!

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Sparky, you should sell your t-shirts thru the 1000 day store, you might sell one or two.

 

oh wow! how exciting...i have an internet stalker. since the cunt is so interested in my tits it may find this thread of interest.

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Will you please stop saying that the freighter hit the Anne; Facts are the Anne ran into the freighter, as documented in the accident report. From wikipedia:

 

"A second, more serious mishap occurred on May 6th 2007 when the schooner ran into a container ship that left the schooner's bowsprit heavily damaged, though the hull and the remainder of the ship was unscathed.[37] Stowe was able to make a replacement, albeit shortened, bowsprit from less-damaged portions"

 

Even Reids blog entry for the day says they were in a collision, not that the freighter hit them. RD has the link to the official report somewhere.

 

Day 15 Collision at Sea

Sunday, 06 May 2007

Last night we had a collision with a freighter vessel. No one was hurt and the boat is fine except the bowsprit is bent and now useless and we don't have a roller-furling unit or jib sheet. We are engaged in emergency repairs and more will follow soon.

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Will you please stop saying that the freighter hit the Anne; Facts are the Anne ran into the freighter, as documented in the accident report. From wikipedia:

 

"A second, more serious mishap occurred on May 6th 2007 when the schooner ran into a container ship that left the schooner's bowsprit heavily damaged, though the hull and the remainder of the ship was unscathed.[37] Stowe was able to make a replacement, albeit shortened, bowsprit from less-damaged portions"

 

Even Reids blog entry for the day says they were in a collision, not that the freighter hit them. RD has the link to the official report somewhere.

 

Day 15 Collision at Sea

Sunday, 06 May 2007

Last night we had a collision with a freighter vessel. No one was hurt and the boat is fine except the bowsprit is bent and now useless and we don't have a roller-furling unit or jib sheet. We are engaged in emergency repairs and more will follow soon.

don't confuse the poor little moron with facts, billy...seems it has a hard time with the reading and writing...

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Maybe Sparkydaho is really Reids good pal, Dr. Carter Emhart???? I beleive this is a pic of the esteemed Dr. from the planetarium, eh?

no, no... didn't you see swan's quote? sparkle balls claims that's me...i'm even on the t-shirt...almost famous just like reid and soanya! sweet!

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Maybe Sparkydaho is really Reids good pal, Dr. Carter Emhart???? I beleive this is a pic of the esteemed Dr. from the planetarium, eh?

no, no... didn't you see swan's quote? sparkle balls claims that's me...i'm even on the t-shirt...almost famous just like reid and soanya! sweet!

 

I'd buy an Elle thong.

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Maybe Sparkydaho is really Reids good pal, Dr. Carter Emhart???? I beleive this is a pic of the esteemed Dr. from the planetarium, eh?

no, no... didn't you see swan's quote? sparkle balls claims that's me...i'm even on the t-shirt...almost famous just like reid and soanya! sweet!

 

I'd buy an Elle thong.

and i swear when this fiasco is over there better be a compilation book of all the graphics in this thread! i MUST have one!

 

i think the sparkling ho is just creaming her pants over the thought of a matching elle tit thong and tank set...she's in love with me, did you notice?

 

edit...she's in love with you, too...i think she'd want a dog's balls thong, as well.

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My favorite Sparky "fractured English lesson of the day, so far:

 

4. All this bean said, You REALLY should review your terms of membership VERY carefully when you continue to ask me any more personal questions. They're not appropriate ~ as another sailor once said "I yam what I yam". And I will be only that which I am here... no more, no less. TRY AND RESIST the urge to stalk me, too, please? It's actually against the law, not only in this form, but electronically, AND in REAL life (which i know none of you knows about because none of you GOTS one.)

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You know, FWANKY_WANKY, with YOUR picture on the front of it, that may well prove true ~ you may have an idea at that!

 

we'll see ~ maybe they'll go for it!

 

probably not, though ~ I'm sure they don't want to help promote you.

 

thanks for the suggestion, tho ~

 

now class is DEINFITELY ovah for the afternoon!

 

D-E-F-I-N-I-T-E-L-Y

 

The correct spelling is definitely.

 

Not definately.

 

Not definatly.

 

Not definantly.

 

Not definetly.

 

Not definently.

 

And certainly not defiantly.

 

The correct spelling is definitely.

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You found it, Tabman! I know it's still early, but that has to be the winna:

 

SPARKLY WHORE'S QUOTE OF THE DAY: TRY AND RESIST the urge to stalk me, too, please?

That's as laughable as ITS earlier insistance that we not try to find ITS name. Like anybody gives a rat's ass :lol:

 

 

Sparkly Whore

photo credit thx to RD

3153275803_94fa2158fd_o.jpg
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15. Designed, built and sailed a catamaran across the Atlantic.

 

Did you miss the post Sparky where it was pointed out that Reid did not design the catamaran you refer too?

 

I cannot begin to tell you how much fun it is to see you post incorrect information ad nauseum. It reveals the simple truth that you have a very limited knowledge of any facts. I suspect that you are either quite young and/or have not had enough experience on the water to post believable insight into any aspect of this thread.

 

I know, I know, I have never sailed beyond Buzzard's bay. . . That type of repetitive, adolescent name calling calling just further proves my point.

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I guess we'll have to post this every page until you LEARN that your claim is bullshit................. and accept that your selfish hero endangered Soanya ~

 

 

3. That the Schooner Anne is leaking.

 

I'll repeat your hero's OWN WORDS again for you, Sparky............. That's some hero ~ who doesn't bother to take Soanya out for a shakedown cruise prior, and then KNOWINGLY exposes her to the risks of a cracked and leaking boat. Her parents could have had a legal field day with you all had she been injured or worse. Getting pregnant and then having reason to get off that POS was the best thing that could have happened to her.

 

 

 

September 6, 2007 Day 137 Fixing Leak in the Hull

Wind E 10 knots, Course NE, Speed 3-5 knots Position: 03° 12 S, 02° 34 W

 

"Many of the things that I do on the boat make me feel connected to ancient man. Like me, early man caught fish and prayed for rain. He also tried to stop leaks everywhere from his water bag to his log canoe. When I see myself fixing a leak, I feel like I could have been doing this through the ages. I am a seaman so I take it as my lot in life. I have a lot of leaks that I have to try to fix, from the diesel tanks to the pilothouse skylight-and I know more will appear. Building the boat, we were very thorough and I was unrealistically optimistic when I announced, "This boat will not leak." I should be a pro at fixing leaks and I have the best modern materials to fix them with. Who knows how to stop a leak coming in through cracked fiberglass? The water pressure keeps pushing through splash zone industrial epoxy and plumbers epoxy. The water only seeps though now and is not a threat, but I would like everything to be dry. If the leak is above the waterline it can be fixed, but what about below the waterline? I knew we had the leaks when we left. We had to finally leave after so long preparing. We couldn't possibly afford to haul out. I figured I would fix them one way or the other and I'm prepared to tackle new leaks if they appear. The one that I am working on right now was caused in port by a high tide current and storm wind from the wide open southeast. We had at least twelve big tires out, some of them doubled up, but the pier was too exposed and the conditions were too wild. We were lucky we only got some cracks and scrapes while the storm tide lifted the belly of the boat over the edge of the crusty old exposed cement pier. That was in the middle of the winter on the Hudson, and I managed to make an emergency repair by pumping out water and shifting cargo so that the damaged part came high enough out of the water to smear epoxy on. It was freezing so the epoxy putty was too hard to mix and not supposed to be used under 50 degrees F. I boiled the cans in water until the epoxy liquefied, then hung over the side and applied it. It hardened and basically stopped the leak. In the photo, I've moved cargo out of the way and tried my best to stop it again. We'll let you know how the story develops. In the mean time, as the Beatles sang, "I'm fixing a hole…"

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Sparky, you should sell your t-shirts thru the 1000 day store, you might sell one or two.

 

oh wow! how exciting...i have an internet stalker. since the cunt is so interested in my tits it may find this thread of interest.

 

 

 

 

 

Well I found it tittalating. Thanks for keeping us all abreast of that situation.

 

Tata for now

CB

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My favorite Sparky "fractured English lesson of the day, so far:

 

4. All this bean said, You REALLY should review your terms of membership VERY carefully when you continue to ask me any more personal questions. They're not appropriate ~ as another sailor once said "I yam what I yam". And I will be only that which I am here... no more, no less. TRY AND RESIST the urge to stalk me, too, please? It's actually against the law, not only in this form, but electronically, AND in REAL life (which i know none of you knows about because none of you GOTS one.)

 

Must have been hungry when she posting that. Beans and yams.

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did she get rid of the tardtastic sig line yet?

 

We can only hope

lmao! it's not worth checking...i would like to thank rd and jp for suffering to read that tripe so the rest of us don't have to.

 

I can deal with it in limited non tdBF quotes, but I suspect it simply feeds the troll

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Maybe Sparkydaho is really Reids good pal, Dr. Carter Emhart???? I beleive this is a pic of the esteemed Dr. from the planetarium, eh?

no, no... didn't you see swan's quote? sparkle balls claims that's me...i'm even on the t-shirt...almost famous just like reid and soanya! sweet!

 

I'd buy an Elle Elle's thong.

 

Fixed

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Great Word Search Game, JeeP. Each time I look I see another word/phrase.

 

Yes, SparklyWhore, enlighten us as to how WEid's debt to society was paid since he hasn't been near any banks in a while (unless he found one of Madoff's offshore accounts). I'd really like to know just why he didn't pay the support in the first place. It wasn't for lack of funds since he had plenty of untaxed cash rolling in.

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15. Designed, built and sailed a catamaran across the Atlantic.

 

Did you miss the post Sparky where it was pointed out that Reid did not design the catamaran you refer too?

 

I cannot begin to tell you how much fun it is to see you post incorrect information ad nauseum. It reveals the simple truth that you have a very limited knowledge of any facts. I suspect that you are either quite young and/or have not had enough experience on the water to post believable insight into any aspect of this thread.

 

I know, I know, I have never sailed beyond Buzzard's bay. . . That type of repetitive, adolescent name calling calling just further proves my point.

 

I think (and I could be wrong here), but I think Ivo helped him build the catamaran and the two of them took it to Brazil several times. Wonder why he never mentions those good old days, when he met Ivo and Iris and it was free loving, life was just blowing in the wind......

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no, no... didn't you see swan's quote? sparkle balls claims that's me...i'm even on the t-shirt...almost famous just like reid and soanya! sweet!

 

honey, Reid's going to make you famous too, just like regatta-stalker... the two who need LOVE the most will find it, and adulation. Only through being exposed as stalking hating fools who were just "in it" for their own gains... boohoo.

 

I see where the stalker already has got his own "MISS informative :blink: " blog going so he can attract as much attention to misinformation as he can ~ while leading with his supposed "news break" too bad the press already knows he's DIS-informative.

:lol:

 

i think the sparkling ho is just creaming her pants over the thought of a matching elle tit thong and tank set...she's in love with me, did you notice?

 

edit...she's in love with you, too...i think she'd want a dog's balls thong, as well.

 

no, but I AM going to enjoy seeing the "tiny marbles of the dog and the stiff sillycones of the belly-girl" on a plaque on my mantle!

 

as for having a CRUSH on either of you??? ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ~ NOt bi, and certainly NOT with you two!!!

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

 

whose got the rubber gloves?

 

sorry for the reality check!

oh, and thanks for the english help, dinghy-boy. For YOU, I promise a sailing lesson someday ~ you tabor bnoys need all the help you can get!

 

My favorite Sparky "fractured English lesson of the day, so far:

 

4. All this bean said, You REALLY should review your terms of membership VERY carefully when you continue to ask me any more personal questions. They're not appropriate ~ as another sailor once said "I yam what I yam". And I will be only that which I am here... no more, no less. TRY AND RESIST the urge to stalk me, too, please? It's actually against the law, not only in this form, but electronically, AND in REAL life (which i know none of you knows about because none of you GOTS one.

 

Sparky,

 

"volunteership" is not a real word.

 

Keep up the outstanding work!

 

Best of possible regards!

 

**************************

15. Designed, built and sailed a catamaran across the Atlantic.

 

Did you miss the post Sparky where it was pointed out that Reid did not design the catamaran you refer too?

 

I cannot begin to tell you how much fun it is to see you post incorrect information ad nauseum. It reveals the simple truth that you have a very limited knowledge of any facts. I suspect that you are either quite young and/or have not had enough experience on the water to post believable insight into any aspect of this thread.

 

I know, I know, I have never sailed beyond Buzzard's bay. . . That type of repetitive, adolescent name calling calling just further proves my point.

 

Nope, didn't miss the post: but you DID forget to notice that my siggy has changed to reflect your nitpicking. AFTER ALL, sparky DOES remember that only the smartest folks know how much they DON'T always know, and are open to fixing the details. ;)

 

ASSWOLF said:

 

Yes, SparklyWhore, enlighten us as to how WEid's debt to society was paid since he hasn't been near any banks in a while (unless he found one of Madoff's offshore accounts). I'd really like to know just why he didn't pay the support in the first place. It wasn't for lack of funds since he had plenty of untaxed cash rolling in.

 

more intrigue :unsure: folks, he's ALWAYS trying to do the best he can, as he can, when he can, to help you through your day! If you don't believe me, keep reading the blog. I know you do! everyday ~ keep lovin it! (and thinkin you hate it) love will rule your day, as it should.

"Love, love, love ~ it's all you need!"

 

 

wife always pays the tab,man said:

 

I think (and I could be wrong here), but I think Ivo helped him build the catamaran and the two of them took it to Brazil several times. Wonder why he never mentions those good old days, when he met Ivo and Iris and it was free loving, life was just blowing in the wind......

 

If he never mentioned them, how would you KNOW about them? :unsure:

 

 

 

 

A little humor for Sparky

 

Illiterate_club.JPG

Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to the illiterate club?

 

Now that's truly almost funny! and it warms my ho's heart that it's just for ME... oooh! thank you!

 

DUH, I thought I found that here! ayer all you guys read the blog everyday, and can't get the facts str8.

 

as one can only fight fire with fire, and ire with ire, one can only communicate with the illiterate idiots illiterately.

(is that not a word too, buzzard's-bay dinghy-boy? PLEASE keep your DICK-tionary close at hand! you NEED something ELSE to do with your day!)

 

Sorry I have to keep the gloves(mittons) on here when I type for you guys, otherwise, I might hurt you!

 

love is all you need, folks. try and find some, somewhere, somehow. Seems if Reid is bringing it to you, he's definitely winning your stupid petty hearts in your stupid petty battles.

 

Try to find peace!

 

love,

 

sparkydaHOuseWHIP

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You have chosen to ignore all posts from: sparkydaHO.

 

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oh look... our stalker is back!! she sure must love us...need us...lmfao!! just can't stay away can you old girl?

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oh look... our stalker is back!! she sure must love us...need us...lmfao!! just can't stay away can you old girl?

 

 

good for you, bellie da bayatch... the world will learn to ignore YOU too stalker cunt!!

 

(and that word' ok, when it's just one chick to anotha)

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you love us...you need us.

 

Are yhou speaking of "us" as SA collectively, or just you and the twins?

sa...

sparkle ho is so in love with sa that she spends hours trying to get our attention...hours and hours with big fonts and pretty colors...she sure must think our opinion is important. she needs us.

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good for you, bellie da bayatch... the world will learn to ignore YOU too stalker cunt!!

 

(and that word' ok, when it's just one chick to anotha)

LMFAO!!!!!! i win i win...the shortest post out of the stupid hag!!!! whoo hooo!

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I don't believe it is a she.....

it calls itself a she...who am i to argue?

 

I've seen you argue with the best of them :lol:

yeah...but sparkydaHO ain't the best of 'em by a long shot. ;)

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Lake Effect Sand Storm Slams New York City

Live Doppler Radar Proves Unreliable

By CScow Associated Press

January 4, 2009. New York, NY

Updated: 5 minutes ago

 

Winter storms packing whale force winds dumped 21 inches of sand on New York City, the first such lake-effect storm since the Great Lakes became dry land.

 

This is believed to be the first world record occurance of lake effects generating sand rather than rain, sleet, snow, Belgian Tripel, or similar water based precipitation. As recently as last Tuesday, frigid Canadian air was known to swoop down across warmer Great Lakes, pick up moisture, hold it, and to later relieve itself all over NYC and other East Coast areas.

 

The storm caught even the most qualified boat-building meteorologists off guard, as most ignore Good News Broadcasts and thus missed a Wednesday GNB appearance by "Sparky", renowned astro-geographer and dugout canoe architect for Hudson Deepwater Pier Oceanographic Institute, who first described lack of water in the Great Lakes.

 

"Good News viewers clearly dropped the ball on this one", said Meteorologist and Tall Ship builder Will Evans of WABC-TV, speaking off the world record. "All three of them could have stepped up and called our news hotline, tipping us off to changes in Great Lakes composition. They didn't. And we are going to report why they didn't in just a few moments, after Phil tells us he will be covering sports highlights, after important words from our sponsors, which are coming up next".

 

"Coming up a bit later in this interview", Mr. Evans continued, "our Live Doppler Radar failed to display the massive wall of lake-effect sand swooping down on the city with the force of ten 60 foot bondo schooners, such as those designed and built by Sparky, renowned linguist and oil tanker mogul".

 

"If you look at last Tuesday's forecast, for instance, you will notice Live Doppler usually reports bands of red, yellow, azure, etc. to indicate various levels and intensities of moisture. Compare that to today's earlier Doppler images. Check it out, dude. Kinda reminds you of the Partridge Family bus or dropping acid, doesn't it? Anyway, just prior to the storm reaching NYC, all those colors swirled together in mystical fashion, eventually combining and forming solid black void. That's the Truth, man! Honest! The whole damned screen was void".

 

"What could we possibly do to fix that void, in just a few moments, after Darlene reported today's Health Beat news, other than call our renowned aircraft carrier architect and day laborer friend, Sparky, to get his ass over here and fix it? Well, I will be telling you what else we should have done in just a few moments. First, Phil is joining us now with today's sports highlights.....So Phil, how about those Redwings!?!?!? Did you see them kick Chicago's ass the other day?!?!!! Holy cow, what a game!!!"

 

Schools, churches, web sites, and PayPal accounts were closed, as city workers rushed to salt sandy streets and dodge any skyscrapers or overpasses that might attempt to collide with them. Streets and Sprout Sanitation supervisor "Sparky", speaking on the condition of copyright parody infringement, remarked "Too bad all this stuff ain't crack. Sniff. Or crank. Sniff. Or dust...the Angel kind, not sand. Sniff sniff. We're running low on provisions back at the office. Sniff. Sand? Shit. In the hierarchy of Nature and Truth, this shit is all stems and seeds. We're gonna be out here plowing sand all night, free, for only $10 an hour. Probably gonna miss my favorite game show tonight and my gimbled platform yoga routine in the morning too, which really pops my fuse".

 

Mayor Bloomberg and Senator Clinton remain in Chicago, negotiating possible consolidation of parallel OHare and LaGuardia airport runways, and could not be reached for comment.

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