Jump to content

i'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting


Recommended Posts

Holy crap I miss DC.

 

 

It does have it's moments :P

 

(417):

Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.

 

Now who hasn't been here?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 2.7k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

During the Cold War my engineer grandfather thought it would be wise to put a bomb shelter under his house. About two weeks after it was finished, the wine deliveries started!  He didn't think he coul

C’mon, people, Lesbian Robot was brilliant but did not pen (type?) the NYYC rant. This was the response to LR whining about the leather couch in the Harbor Court men’s room (credit to some guy who sho

Once upon a time we picked picked up a mooring in Provincetown, MA. Now, we're country folk from west Texas, so we were a little unprepared when, thinking of gifts for our kids, including the then 7 y

Posted Images

(432):

she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Holy crap I miss DC.

 

 

It does have it's moments :P

 

(417):

Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.

 

Now who hasn't been here?

 

Better the sink than in the cupholder of your car door....

Link to post
Share on other sites

Holy crap I miss DC.

 

 

It does have it's moments :P

 

(417):

Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.

 

Now who hasn't been here?

 

Better the sink than in the cupholder of your car door....

Ever been so messed up that you woke up in a middle of the night drunken daze, stumbled to the refrigerator, and dropped a deucer in the vegetable crisper? Yeah, neither have I....

Link to post
Share on other sites

Holy crap I miss DC.

 

 

It does have it's moments :P

 

(417):

Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.

 

Now who hasn't been here?

 

Better the sink than in the cupholder of your car door....

Ever been so messed up that you woke up in a middle of the night drunken daze, stumbled to the refrigerator, and dropped a deucer in the vegetable crisper? Yeah, neither have I....

 

 

Can't say that I have. I have however woken up hammered and pissed in the wicker curio stand the ex wife kept her nick nacks in. Always hated that thing so think it was sober subconcious blaming it on my evil twin drunken semiconcious.

Link to post
Share on other sites

(202):

There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.

 

 

 

 

 

(202):

I'm wearing red that night.

 

(301):

Noted, what shade?

 

(202):

Whore.

Link to post
Share on other sites

(202):

My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.

 

(202):

Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.

Link to post
Share on other sites

(202):

Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.

Link to post
Share on other sites

(202):

Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.

 

 

 

A few for Sol. Gotta love the District.

Link to post
Share on other sites

(202): just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang

 

(917):

really making moves this morning i see

 

 

Now THIS I have done; more than once in fact. Never been seasick a day in my life. A starting and stoping Metro train with a wicked gin hangover, not so much. :unsure:

Link to post
Share on other sites

(703):

swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."

 

(202):

buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

<SNIP>

Ever been so messed up that you woke up in a middle of the night drunken daze, stumbled to the refrigerator, and dropped a deucer in the vegetable crisper? Yeah, neither have I....

 

EWWWWWW!!!!

Nope, snapped out of it before snapping one off into it. Horrible bender, after witnessing something really awful.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Holy crap I miss DC.

 

 

It does have it's moments :P

 

(417):

Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.

 

Now who hasn't been here?

 

I am proud to say that I have pissed in a sink in a dorm bathroom at Yale.

 

One of my finer moments I might add.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Holy crap I miss DC.

 

 

It does have it's moments :P

 

(417):

Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.

 

Now who hasn't been here?

 

I am proud to say that I have pissed in a sink in a dorm bathroom at Yale.

 

One of my finer moments I might add.

 

I'm not sure you want to start talking about where you've left personal ejecta.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Holy crap I miss DC.

 

 

It does have it's moments :P

 

(417):

Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.

 

Now who hasn't been here?

 

Better the sink than in the cupholder of your car door....

 

So glad I never partied with you.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Holy crap I miss DC.

 

 

It does have it's moments :P

 

(417):

Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.

 

Now who hasn't been here?

 

I am proud to say that I have pissed in a sink in a dorm bathroom at Yale.

 

One of my finer moments I might add.

I didn't say I was a Yale alum, I said I went there.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Holy crap I miss DC.

 

 

It does have it's moments :P

 

(417):

Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.

 

Now who hasn't been here?

 

I am proud to say that I have pissed in a sink in a dorm bathroom at Yale.

 

One of my finer moments I might add.

I didn't say I was a Yale alum, I said I went there.

 

Gofl calp

Link to post
Share on other sites

Holy crap I miss DC.

 

 

It does have it's moments :P

 

(417):

Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.

 

Now who hasn't been here?

 

I am proud to say that I have pissed in a sink in a dorm bathroom at Yale.

 

One of my finer moments I might add.

Fast Eddie Lewis pissed in the sink in the bathroom at the El Roacho Motel in KW, after the 96 race to KW, a two day beat in freezing weather, on a SC27. A shitload of us were crammed into one room, and I awoke to the sound of running fluids, as my bed was near the bathroom door. He had just stumbled in at around 4:30, and completely missed the fact that there was an empty commode a foot to the left. I reminded him of that, to which he replied (in full slur) "that's not as much fun, SON." It had been a really long race.

 

I'd venture a guess that a bit of piss was far from the worst thing going through the face bowl at the El Rancho, through the years. What a consummate shithole that place was. I miss it terribly.

Link to post
Share on other sites

 

 

 

(828):

Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southern wet dream

 

 

Yeah, I think she's probably about right. I've got a pretty fabulous mental image, helped along by the YouTube image of the French Toast chick. Mmm, Mmm, Mmm, Tasty!

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

(616):

She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross

Link to post
Share on other sites

(847):

Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding

Link to post
Share on other sites

(310):

Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.

 

(310):

Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Never allow pictures

Link to post
Share on other sites

(+04):

Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.

 

(1+04):

I hate Sailor Jerry.

Link to post
Share on other sites

(202):

you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?

 

In an otherwise awesome thread, that post is EPIC!!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Holy crap I miss DC.

 

 

It does have it's moments :P

 

(417):

Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.

 

Now who hasn't been here?

 

Better the sink than in the cupholder of your car door....

 

So glad I never partied with you.

 

Never say never, brudda - life is full of surprises. :-)

Link to post
Share on other sites

(303):

 

How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?

Link to post
Share on other sites

‎(260): A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?

========

 

they're obviously not from around these parts...

Link to post
Share on other sites

‎(260): A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?

========

 

they're obviously not from around these parts...

We're gonna need a bigger boat.

 

celebrity-pictures-shaw-foo.jpg

Link to post
Share on other sites

(615):

other than the jail part I had a really good time with you

 

(613):

I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.

Link to post
Share on other sites

(775):

He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors

 

(1-775):

Fuck he won the bet :huh:

Link to post
Share on other sites

321): You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you

AMY!

 

(573):

I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.

 

 

Go bless you dear heart. :P

no doubt

Link to post
Share on other sites

(916):

No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.

 

(865):

I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother

 

(616):

If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.

 

(615):

other than the jail part I had a really good time with you

 

(613):

I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.

 

"morning choke sex"????? Seriously?

 

Like you haven't done it....

Link to post
Share on other sites

(208):

 

so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.

 

 

 

 

 

(931):

 

his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood

 

 

 

 

(814)

The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?

Link to post
Share on other sites

(224):

Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.

Link to post
Share on other sites

(520):

Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.

 

(1-520):

I can pencil you in at 3:30

Link to post
Share on other sites

(310):

What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.

Link to post
Share on other sites

(850):

hey. who tried to drive me home last night?

 

(904):

not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?

 

(850):

i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.

Link to post
Share on other sites

(714):

I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.

Link to post
Share on other sites

(559):

So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?

 

(1-559):

That depends on who this is.

Link to post
Share on other sites

(956):

Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."

Link to post
Share on other sites

(215):

After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.

 

(610):

I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.

Link to post
Share on other sites

(571):

non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.

Link to post
Share on other sites

(919):

So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.

 

(1-919):

And that worked?

 

(919):

9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.

Link to post
Share on other sites

(321):

I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

(224):

so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.

Link to post
Share on other sites

WHo would come up with this analogy? Gotta be a sailor. One of you college kids???

 

 

(661):

Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.

 

 

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

(843):

Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place

Link to post
Share on other sites

(919):

So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.

 

(1-919):

And that worked?

 

(919):

9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.

 

 

God, sometimes I wish I could go back to age 20 with important knowledge like this!

Link to post
Share on other sites

(832):

So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.

 

(412):

its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.

Link to post
Share on other sites

(260):

Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.

Link to post
Share on other sites

(262):

Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

(850):

TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.

 

(407):

i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.

Link to post
Share on other sites

(817):

They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.

 

(214):

Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.

 

(817):

You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.

Link to post
Share on other sites

(541):

What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?

 

(503):

3some

 

(541):

You're right, stupid question.

 

(318):

Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?

Link to post
Share on other sites

(514):

take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.

 

(214):

Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.

Link to post
Share on other sites

(705):

All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.

 

(815): View more from Illinois

I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport

Link to post
Share on other sites

(306):

They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.

Link to post
Share on other sites

(610):

As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.

Link to post
Share on other sites

(519):

my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.

 

(1-519):

You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.

 

(585):

she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over

Link to post
Share on other sites