NACRADUDE 9 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Holy crap I miss DC. It does have it's moments (417): Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink. Now who hasn't been here? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 (432): she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
A guy in the Chesapeake 1,679 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Holy crap I miss DC. It does have it's moments (417): Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink. Now who hasn't been here? Better the sink than in the cupholder of your car door.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Snaggletooth 5,150 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 (432): she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback. LLO! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sol Rosenberg 10,138 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Holy crap I miss DC. It does have it's moments (417): Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink. Now who hasn't been here? Better the sink than in the cupholder of your car door.... Ever been so messed up that you woke up in a middle of the night drunken daze, stumbled to the refrigerator, and dropped a deucer in the vegetable crisper? Yeah, neither have I.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Holy crap I miss DC. It does have it's moments (417): Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink. Now who hasn't been here? Better the sink than in the cupholder of your car door.... Ever been so messed up that you woke up in a middle of the night drunken daze, stumbled to the refrigerator, and dropped a deucer in the vegetable crisper? Yeah, neither have I.... Can't say that I have. I have however woken up hammered and pissed in the wicker curio stand the ex wife kept her nick nacks in. Always hated that thing so think it was sober subconcious blaming it on my evil twin drunken semiconcious. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
A guy in the Chesapeake 1,679 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 <SNIP> Ever been so messed up that you woke up in a middle of the night drunken daze, stumbled to the refrigerator, and dropped a deucer in the vegetable crisper? Yeah, neither have I.... EWWWWWW!!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 (214): I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 (202): There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again. (202): I'm wearing red that night. (301): Noted, what shade? (202): Whore. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 (202): My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about. (202): Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 (202): Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 (202): Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now. A few for Sol. Gotta love the District. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 (202): just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang (917): really making moves this morning i see Now THIS I have done; more than once in fact. Never been seasick a day in my life. A starting and stoping Metro train with a wicked gin hangover, not so much. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 (703): swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back." (202): buy whatever she's on. a lot of it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sol Rosenberg 10,138 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 <SNIP> Ever been so messed up that you woke up in a middle of the night drunken daze, stumbled to the refrigerator, and dropped a deucer in the vegetable crisper? Yeah, neither have I.... EWWWWWW!!!! Nope, snapped out of it before snapping one off into it. Horrible bender, after witnessing something really awful. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
left hook 5 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Holy crap I miss DC. It does have it's moments (417): Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink. Now who hasn't been here? I am proud to say that I have pissed in a sink in a dorm bathroom at Yale. One of my finer moments I might add. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Not My Real Name 3,591 Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Holy crap I miss DC. It does have it's moments (417): Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink. Now who hasn't been here? I am proud to say that I have pissed in a sink in a dorm bathroom at Yale. One of my finer moments I might add. I'm not sure you want to start talking about where you've left personal ejecta. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bus Driver 6,882 Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Holy crap I miss DC. It does have it's moments (417): Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink. Now who hasn't been here? Better the sink than in the cupholder of your car door.... So glad I never partied with you. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
chinabald 871 Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Holy crap I miss DC. It does have it's moments (417): Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink. Now who hasn't been here? I am proud to say that I have pissed in a sink in a dorm bathroom at Yale. One of my finer moments I might add. I didn't say I was a Yale alum, I said I went there. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Timo42 73 Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Holy crap I miss DC. It does have it's moments (417): Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink. Now who hasn't been here? I am proud to say that I have pissed in a sink in a dorm bathroom at Yale. One of my finer moments I might add. I didn't say I was a Yale alum, I said I went there. Gofl calp Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sol Rosenberg 10,138 Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Holy crap I miss DC. It does have it's moments (417): Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink. Now who hasn't been here? I am proud to say that I have pissed in a sink in a dorm bathroom at Yale. One of my finer moments I might add. Fast Eddie Lewis pissed in the sink in the bathroom at the El Roacho Motel in KW, after the 96 race to KW, a two day beat in freezing weather, on a SC27. A shitload of us were crammed into one room, and I awoke to the sound of running fluids, as my bed was near the bathroom door. He had just stumbled in at around 4:30, and completely missed the fact that there was an empty commode a foot to the left. I reminded him of that, to which he replied (in full slur) "that's not as much fun, SON." It had been a really long race. I'd venture a guess that a bit of piss was far from the worst thing going through the face bowl at the El Rancho, through the years. What a consummate shithole that place was. I miss it terribly. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
doghouse 126 Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Ha, Eddie wins again. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
On The Hard 451 Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 (303): How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads? (724): I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
On The Hard 451 Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 (828): Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southern wet dream Yeah, I think she's probably about right. I've got a pretty fabulous mental image, helped along by the YouTube image of the French Toast chick. Mmm, Mmm, Mmm, Tasty! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
On The Hard 451 Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 (305): Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
On The Hard 451 Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 (404): he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off Quote Link to post Share on other sites
On The Hard 451 Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Public Service Announcement to All Sailing Anarchy Members: (260): I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 (616): She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 (847): Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 (310): Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures. (310): Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW. Never allow pictures Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 (+04): Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles. (1+04): I hate Sailor Jerry. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 (202): you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
On The Hard 451 Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 (202): you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday? In an otherwise awesome thread, that post is EPIC!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
A guy in the Chesapeake 1,679 Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Public Service Announcement to All Sailing Anarchy Members: (260): I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck. man I hope not! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Snaggletooth 5,150 Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 (404): he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off I f*ckin snortede on thisse onne. (gillty) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
A guy in the Chesapeake 1,679 Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Holy crap I miss DC. It does have it's moments (417): Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink. Now who hasn't been here? Better the sink than in the cupholder of your car door.... So glad I never partied with you. Never say never, brudda - life is full of surprises. :-) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bump-n-Grind 2,655 Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 (303): How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bump-n-Grind 2,655 Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 (260): A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake? ======== they're obviously not from around these parts... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sol Rosenberg 10,138 Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 (260): A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake? ======== they're obviously not from around these parts... We're gonna need a bigger boat. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 (615): other than the jail part I had a really good time with you (613): I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 (775): He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors (1-775): Fuck he won the bet Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 (573): I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles. Go bless you dear heart. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Shibby 1 Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 321): You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you AMY! (573): I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles. Go bless you dear heart. no doubt Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 (916): No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace. (865): I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother (616): If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there. (615): other than the jail part I had a really good time with you (613): I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex. "morning choke sex"????? Seriously? Like you haven't done it.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Grande Mastere Dreade 4,126 Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 (208): so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate. (931): his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood (814) The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
flyingtacks 0 Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 (626): wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 (224): Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tax Man 316 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Rednecks are rednecks, they just have different accents for their illiteracy. We gots dem up here too. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (520): Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk. (1-520): I can pencil you in at 3:30 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (310): What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (305): I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang". Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (850): hey. who tried to drive me home last night? (904): not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"? (850): i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (303): Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (714): I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (559): So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true? (1-559): That depends on who this is. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (956): Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (215): After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk. (610): I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (571): non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (413): i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung Quote Link to post Share on other sites
On The Hard 451 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Now here's an awkward beginning to a conversation.... (502): Lube is flammable (404): Who is this?? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (919): So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night. (1-919): And that worked? (919): 9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (216): fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (321): I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (224): so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
On The Hard 451 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 WHo would come up with this analogy? Gotta be a sailor. One of you college kids??? (661): Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (843): Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place Quote Link to post Share on other sites
On The Hard 451 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (919): So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night. (1-919): And that worked? (919): 9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards. God, sometimes I wish I could go back to age 20 with important knowledge like this! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (814): He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (310): Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame Quote Link to post Share on other sites
On The Hard 451 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (204): I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (303): She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
On The Hard 451 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (918): please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (832): So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party. (412): its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (260): Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 (262): Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 (850): TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas. (407): i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 (303): Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 (484): I am the drunkest girl in the tree. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 (817): They asked me to help them shop for lingerie. (214): Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better. (817): You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 (541): What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms? (503): 3some (541): You're right, stupid question. (318): Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 (514): take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk. (214): Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 (705): All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail. (815): View more from Illinois I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 (306): They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 (610): As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NACRADUDE 9 Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 (519): my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar. (1-519): You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make. (585): she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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