Also accept that you will get it wrong, and when you do, don't get defensive (you got it wrong there is no defense :) ) just apologize.
Honestly I can't always manage to ask things in a genuine respectful non-patronizing way (to men or women) because sometimes (in the heat of the moment) I'm...
A
Not patronizing as much as mansplainy.
My experience of sailing with women (and men) is that you make sure they have enough information and they will take care of the 'plumbing' difficulties.