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To WhiteLightnin' from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. My good man, vegetable peelers do not require bullets. Please ensure you speak with JBSF at the national Vegetable Peeler Registry if you are seeking a permit.

To Sailing Anarchy Members from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. In light of your failure to converse civilly with one and other, you have further demonstrated your inability to regulate yourselves. The British Crown has appointed B.J. Porter as the final word in such matters and you...

To JBSF from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. Goodness! what a wretched little twerp of a man you are. The Governor for America will be informed and you shall be required to present to the national Vegetable Peeler Registry where you shall be responsible for issuing permits to those...

To Bridget666 from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. I do appreciate Commonwealth support in these ghastly matters. Such a good girl.

To WhiteLightnin' from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. One might assume you are recalling my address to the United Nations General Assembly in preparing your post. "I know of no single formula for success. But over the years I have observed that some attributes of leadership are...

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. In light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately...