5 things men should know about sailing with women

Not My Real Name

Not Actually Me
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+1 on no jumping.
"I will put the boat up against the dock and you can step off"

Easy way - crew steps off from midships with a short spring and ties it off. You can then hold the boat right against the dock with the engine while you rig the lines at your leisure.
That's how we do it.

 

kent_island_sailor

Super Anarchist
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Kent Island!
We'll have flashlights handy, and will use them for signaling. Preferably without blinding each other.
My steaming light illuminates the foredeck plenty for routine tasks. More than I want it to actually. I am pretty strict with light discipline. The kids know there is no white light allowed until the anchor is set and the screens are in. "You want to blind me AND get every bug in the creek inside the boat :angry: "

 

Not My Real Name

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I learned that from watching fisherman on the ICW. They would pull up in big mega sportfisherman boat, the mate would drop one short spring line over a piling, and then they would leave one engine idle while they refueled and then leave.
I learned it at an offshore sailing course my wife and I took at Chapman's in FL over 20 years ago.

If that, and "prop walk is a thing and this is why it's your friend" were the only things I got out of that week it still would have been worth it.

Good course, we met at the school on Saturday morning and set sail for the Port Lucaya in the afternoon with five students and an instructor.

 

kent_island_sailor

Super Anarchist
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Kent Island!
Hint for men with reluctant spouses:

If you start getting anxious, angry, yelling, and so on your wife is going to assume *you* don't know WTF you are doing and this is going to scare her and she may not be back.

When our son was born the default response to any situation was me to the boat and my wife to the baby. She needed for me to at least pretend I had it all under control so she could just worry about baby-wrangling. "Sure that one anchor dragged up 100 pounds of oysters, but the other one is working and the oysters like being relocated" ;)

 

Left Shift

Super Anarchist
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There is never ANY jumping involved when we dock the boat. We step off the boat or we take another pass. We take very few second passes.

I've been trying to get my wife to take the helm for docking and anchoring for years. She has been...resistant.
"Jumping" is used perhaps as a term of art meaning "get on to the dock."  But if you have the amount of freeboard on your 53'er shown in this pic and are pulling up to a 12" high dock, I suggest that there is actually some jumping/leaping/giant stepping - whatever you want to call it - involved, no matter how perfectly you sidle up to the pier.   (Or Swedish royalty are all munchkins)

Screen Shot 2019-09-03 at 11.19.40 AM.png

 
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Not My Real Name

Not Actually Me
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"Jumping" is used perhaps as a term of art meaning "get on to the dock."  But if you have the amount of freeboard on your 53'er shown in this pic and are pulling up to a 12" high dock, I suggest that there is actually some jumping/leaping/giant stepping - whatever you want to call it - involved, no matter how perfectly you sidle up to the pier.   (Or Swedish royalty are all munchkins)

View attachment 320029
It's a big step down, yes. But the way we dock you could easily sit on the cap rail and slide down to the dock if you wanted to.

There's no jumping. Call it a big step down if you will, but jumping to me implies you're trying to cover some horizontal distance over open water between the boat and the dock because there is some pants-on-fire panic that we will lose control of the docking if someone does not get on the dock with a line rightfuckingnow!!  That does not happen.

Used to drive me nuts with the 40.7, when I'd come up to the dock with my racing crew. Early on Wednesday afternoon I'd bring the boat from the mooring to a working dock by myself, stepping off the boat with a spring to tie it on and securing it before anyone got there. Coming back in...I'd also ghost to the dock. And when we were 3-4 feet off all of a sudden people start climbing over the lifelines and jumping to the dock, lines flying everywhere with complete pandemonium.

I mean...I brought the boat in myself with no chaos, but with 10 more people on board and the same driver approaching the same dock in the same collected way and we have to turn it into a fire drill?

 
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kent_island_sailor

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Kent Island!
We had a dog that could clear about 8 feet horizontally and at least 4 feet up. I used her for dinghy docking - I would tie the bow line to her collar and when I said GO she jumped out/up onto the dock and then stood still while I pulled the dinghy up to the dock. I didn't have to do that, but it really impressed the people on the dock :D They had no idea training her NOT to jump too soon was the hard part :rolleyes:

 

Left Shift

Super Anarchist
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Seattle
It's a big step down, yes. But the way we dock you could easily sit on the cap rail and slide down to the dock if you wanted to.

There's no jumping. Call it a big step down if you will, but jumping to me implies you're trying to cover some horizontal distance over open water between the boat and the dock because there is some pants-on-fire panic that we will lose control of the docking if someone does not get on the dock with a line rightfuckingnow!!  That does not happen.

Used to drive me nuts with the 40.7, when I'd come up to the dock with my racing crew. Early on Wednesday afternoon I'd bring the boat from the mooring to a working dock by myself, stepping off the boat with a spring to tie it on and securing it before anyone got there. Coming back in...I'd also ghost to the dock. And when we were 3-4 feet off all of a sudden people start climbing over the lifelines and jumping to the dock, lines flying everywhere with complete pandemonium.

I mean...I brought the boat in myself with no chaos, but with 10 more people on board and the same driver approaching the same dock in the same collected way and we have to turn it into a fire drill?
You need to sail with more women.  They tend to think before they jump.

I have a fairly large, quite light boat with narrow foils that pivots very easily, is easily wind-blown and needs momentum to track straight.  It's a different docking methodology than most cruisers.  My constant bugaboo is to have bystanders be "helpful" when I step off with a breast line.  Their urge to grab a line, any line and tug on it can mess up the best docking in a couple of seconds.  

 
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Not My Real Name

Not Actually Me
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You need to sail with more women.  They tend to think before they jump.

I have a fairly large, quite light boat with narrow foils that pivots very easily, is easily wind-blown and needs momentum to track straight.  It's a different docking methodology than most cruisers.  My constant bugaboo is to have bystanders be "helpful" when I step off with a breast line.  Their urge to grab a line, any line and tug on it can mess up the best docking in a couple of seconds.  
I've been sailing and cruising full for seven years with my wife...sailing with her for 20+

Back when I raced the 40.7 almost half my crew were women. 4-5 out of 10 or 11 every week.

IMG_0805.JPG

The worst dockings EVER are those when someone grabs a line and starts pulling without asking.

 
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Rasputin22

Rasputin22
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I've posted a story about when the bystander insists of taking your line as you approach the dock. I can toss a bowline with the bitter end run through it out over a cleat or bollard pretty well and then use it on my midship cleat as a spring and gently take the way off of the boat without it swinging into the dock. I have actually had a bystander take my line which I just successfully dropped over a cleat on the dock OFF and stand there trying to stop the boat with fool ass self!

    I'll dig up the earlier story of a 120 lbs female crew and how she handled a similar 'helper' in the Islands. "Trow me the rope gurl! Trow it here to me..."

 

billy backstay

Backstay, never bought a suit, never went to Vegas
There's no jumping. Call it a big step down if you will, but jumping to me implies you're trying to cover some horizontal distance over open water between the boat and the dock


Most marinas and clubs here have either floating docks, or ladders, if a fixed dock.  And yes, I agree that the Bogans who grab your line and make it fast to a cleat, or bollard, or piling, before one has "parked" the boat alongside the dock, are a PITA!!  If I throw a line to a dock attendant, I usually instruct them exactly what I want them to do.

 

NORBowGirl

Super Anarchist
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I've been trying to get my wife to take the helm for docking and anchoring for years. She has been...resistant.
Hehehe. I can relate to this! I'm not interested in docking. I help when I have to but in general just avoid it. 

Last weekend I was supposed to deliver the boat alone, a 7 hour trip. I had absolutely NO intention to dock it alone, I planned to have people receiving me. Then the owner decided to come along anyway, since the autopilot was a bit unstable. I did all the driving and navigation myself, but when we came ten meters from the dock, and he asked me if I wanted to try to dock alone, I just said NO WAY, and let him do it. It's not that I'm afraid, I'm just not very interested. I'll do it if I have to, and of course I have done it before, but it doesn't give me any satisfaction. 

 

European Bloke

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 And when we were 3-4 feet off all of a sudden people start climbing over the lifelines and jumping to the dock, lines flying everywhere with complete pandemonium.

I mean...I brought the boat in myself with no chaos, but with 10 more people on board and the same driver approaching the same dock in the same collected way and we have to turn it into a fire drill?
I remember watching some chap bring a very sporty boat with a full crew into the marina without an engine.  It's was pretty fresh and we were all watching because it had cluster fuck written all over it.  In the event he came in better than you can imagine.  Bang on position with the way coming off perfectly.  Every other fucker on the boat jumped off and not one of the useless twats held onto anything.  I think they were so surprised they just completely forgot why they were there.  Boat and driver drifted off into the previously expected cluster fuck on the other side of the marina. Sometimes the help doesn't.

 

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