Best Laugh When Sailing


Over there
J35 doing one of the many LIS distance races getting ready for a maneuver.

Bow guys is taking waaaaay to long at the peak. 

Q from the back: "what the fuck is going on up there?"

A from the bow: "I'm fucking up... OK!?"

Oh, in that case OK!


Steam Flyer

Super Anarchist
Eastern NC
Was part of a throw-together crew delivering Merlin back from a Transpac a few decades back.  After launching we discover propane is empty.  Navigator or captain decides we’ll just pop in to Pearl Harbor at midnight to fill up.   This was my first ocean sailing trip, I didn’t know anything.  I was up on bow helping find channel markers when several larger navy boats came up very fast and in nearly synchronized fashion lit us up with lights bright enough to take an x-ray.   We were taken to a dock and the serious talking started.  Captain replied that we had a propane leak and it was an emergency.  Turns out we’re on a fuel dock.  Navy guy says we have two options - stay and get boat seized or sail out immediately.  Slide on out and back to Waikiki.  That one still makes me laugh.
60 years later and the navy is still touchy about sneak attacks , who figures..
It's been a lot longer than that, since they were attacked by sailboat


A long time ago in a ocean race at night, a leading boat started to cover the white transom light with layers of thin paper a little at a time, the boat behind wondered why they were pulling away from them.

Last edited by a moderator:


Super Anarchist
San Diego
One more.  Was doing the Costal Cup the orginal from SF to Catalina on an SC52.  We had three professionals on the boat JC Navigating, Big Country and myself the rest of the crew were amatuers and 1 or 2 goods ones the rest were passengers. I rememebr trying to run a sheet handing it into the cockpit telling them to pull only to have it pulled out of the boat took like three tries before I lead it and pulled it through my self. It was 30+ big waves with the occasional sneaker coming in 60 degrees to the right of the predominate pattern.  It was like 3 in the moring Big Country, Fish and I were on deck in the back me driving everyone teathered in.  Fish had gone down and put another layer on this is important later.  So a bit later out of the corner of my eye I see white water coming I turn the boat down as quick as I could but not quick enough.  THe wave hits the side rolls us over and we start surfing on our side.  I get knowcked down.  Pull myself up by my teather and get back on the wheel get the boat on its feet look around and everone is there thank god.  As we get going I hear ruckus from the leeward side look down and there is Fish.  He had put a foul weather jacket over his harness which had then gone off when he was under water. He was rolling around on his back like a turtle I now know he was reaching for his knife.  Out comes the knife and he stabs himself in the chest to pop the bladder as he was suffocating.  We did not know what was going on at the time were like WTF.  Once he stabbed himself and harness went down we laughed out asses off.  WHile scary in that moment seeing him on the boat flapping around like a turtle on its back trying to stab himslef was one of the fiunniest things I have ever seen.



Morrelle Compasse
fan gotte me chulckleng with that oune............                                          :)



Super Anarchist
#1: During the '70s, entering King Harbor at 6am on a Sunday morning in the pouring rain, pretty much wet through and through and completely done in after finishing a grueling race around Santa Barbara Island. Lot's of little rental skiffs in the channel with drenched, grim looking guys fishing. One of our crew popped out of the companion way, looked around, and said: "what are those idiots doing out here in the harbor at 6am in the rain?". We all looked at each other in silence for about 5 seconds, before breaking out in histerical laughter. Barely pulled ourselves together long enough to dock the boat. Those are the kinds of moments that make a race and that I'll cherish forever.  

 #2: Can't remember the joke, but laughing so hard during a night watch on transpac after my watch mate told a joke that one of the off watch yelled up from his bunk: "Either shut the fuck up, or let us in on the joke, because it must have been a doozy". 



Super Anarchist
Leaving the harbour in St Tropez on board a maxi boat, everyone is feeling somewhat jaded after a hard night out involving lots of liquor and crème caramel eating competitions (no hands).

The Irishman on board laconically remarks “Gawd if I’d known I was gonna be this thirsty this morning, I would have drunk more last night….”

Had the crew cracked up for quite some time and ready to indulge the following night.



It wasn't a particularly nice night, lumpy quartering sea and 25ish in a wintry English Channel. Steve, for that used to be his name, goes below to use the facilities. After some time there comes a loud and repeated cries of 'Scissors!'. One of the off-watch bunch must have passed him some, but before long the voice comes again 'Bin Bag!' (trash bag for non-English speakers?).

A little while later he emerges from the hatch and hurls the fairly heavy looking bin bag over the side.

We learn that he'd just been dropping one of the kids off as we'd hit a wave and taken a lurch. He'd missed the toilet and laid it in his boxers and jeans. With full wet gear around his ankles he'd taken the view that cutting the soiled stuff off was the pragmatic solution.

Ever since known as Scissors.