Designing a marine bidet

TwoLegged

Super Anarchist
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I’m with you on this. I’m a traditionalist. Imagine you are at a bar drinking with Robin Knox Johnson, Bill Tilman and Larry Pardey, and you say “Hey guys, I’m going to put a bidet on my boat!” Just say no.
They might say it was a great idea, and start oversharing their own experiences of bum rash

 

Elegua

Generalissimo
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Lower Loslobia
I’m with you on this. I’m a traditionalist. Imagine you are at a bar drinking with Robin Knox Johnson, Bill Tilman and Larry Pardey, and you say “Hey guys, I’m going to put a bidet on my boat!” Just say no.
Pardey did have a tub… Even if there was no visible means of filling it.

 

Fah Kiew Tu

Curmudgeon, First Rank
9,626
3,032
Tasmania, Australia
I’m with you on this. I’m a traditionalist. Imagine you are at a bar drinking with Robin Knox Johnson, Bill Tilman and Larry Pardey, and you say “Hey guys, I’m going to put a bidet on my boat!” Just say no.
When I used to work (using the word loosely) doing fish species identification on foreign fishing vessels, mainly Taiwanese, they usually had a cage 'seat of ease' over the stern where you went to take a dump.

If the weather was lively, it was also a bidet.

And no plumbing required.

I have a Lavac head. One of the things I find quite annoying about it is, you can't tell if the turds have gone away until the vacuum bleeds off and you (or the next person) opens the lid. I've fitted a washdown pump with hand hose/rose so you can wash/flush stuff into the pump hole, thereby guaranteeing the turds go away.

It would also serve as a bum washing device. If so desired.

FKT

 

Ishmael

Granfallooner
49,528
10,245
Fuctifino
I’m with you on this. I’m a traditionalist. Imagine you are at a bar drinking with Robin Knox Johnson, Bill Tilman and Larry Pardey, and you say “Hey guys, I’m going to put a bidet on my boat!” Just say no.
If you're drinking with those three you have no need for a bidet.

 

Not My Real Name

Not Actually Me
42,894
2,739
The "poo" thread got me thinking-  Why not design a bidet fixture for marine toilets?

I recently installed a bidet into my toilet at home. I'm no stranger to these fixtures, having used them in the Near East and Europe. I greatly prefer them to wads of paper.  One of the biggest gripes about marine toilets is how easily they clog and people putting foreign material into them.  I've read many posts from people who state that they keep a trash can for used toilet paper next to the toilet because they refuse to risk clogging the toilet with paper.

Such a fixture could be designed to work with salt or fresh water. It could have the option of an electric or hand pump to generate the spray. It would simply bolt on under the existing toilet seat like my unit at home.

What say the quorum? Would you use it if it existed?
There are a number of them available that you can retrofit to RVs. The major difference between boat and RV here is the fresh water source if you're a saltwater flush installation.

But if you can get a freshwater source to the device, it would be easy enough to fit. The hardware is cheap as chips. For RV, they just make a T in the freshwater feed and use that, so if you already have a freshwater toiler it's easy.

Uses freshwater - downside.
Tricky to rig with warm water...also a downside outside the tropics.

Does not use TP and arguably does a better cleanup - huge upside.

I'd consider it, if I was keeping my boat, except I don't have an easy source of freshwater near the toilet.

 

Mid

Super Anarchist
the-bum-gun-wp-bidet-sprayers.jpg


 

TwoLegged

Super Anarchist
5,665
2,090
And bang on cue, Mads Dahlke has installed a bidet on Athena.

He calls his the "ButtSprayer 2000", but that may not be actual brand name ;)




 

bgytr

Super Anarchist
4,859
506
I recently stayed at a hotel with a toilet with a fancy bidet. Best feature was the night light that just illuminated the bowl.

As you walked toward it in the darkness it really looked like a portal into another dimension. Kinda worried it would suck my bum into another space time.

Kind of like this but classier.

View attachment 473429
That looks like something outta Buckaroo Banzai to transport you to the 8th dimension!

 
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thinwater

Super Anarchist
1,026
127
Deale, MD
That's going to fill the waste tank rather quickly, no?  And would have to tap into fresh water system...who wants a shot of marina bottom water up in the netherparts? :huh:
Or would it use less water, since you aren't pushing TP down the pipe? Less clogging too. (And someone is going to bring up bagging TP. Whatever.)

 

Elegua

Generalissimo
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Lower Loslobia
The really creepy ones have motion detectors so as you head into a dark bathroom this glowing maw opens up. It can be quite off-putting. 

 

toddster

Super Anarchist
4,144
943
The Gorge
Yeah, that was my experience, trying to learn to waterski. (Everyone else had been doing it since they were like, five.) I didn’t get invited back…

Before Covid, some friends in the city took me out to a cool wine/jazz bar near their place.  The latest thing about it, that everyone was raving about, was the heated bidet in the uni.  Some people were in there for a looong time.  The control panel was so complicated, I was afraid to touch it.  But I had a nice seat on the bench by the fireplace, practically cheek to cheek with the piano player/vocalist.  It was a pretty good (if slightly constipated) night.  

Sadly, I hear the place didn’t survive the covid real-estate/rent asymptote.  

 
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