From The Guardian newspaper: Stranded at sea: amateur female sailors speak of sexual abuse by captains they met online

[EYESAILOR]

Well one skipper here is looking for vice-grip hands, so the guys are not totally safe either

If you are talking about @slug zitski , he likes skilled hands but they also have to be male, young and 6' tall.

Not somebody I want my son to be around on a night watch, especially if he is wearing his "Bakhmut Holds" T shirt.

 

[kent_island_sailor]

In this case, I don't think that's what Slug is saying at all. No one, no woman, should expect or be accepting of sexual abuse. What I think he is saying (albeit poorly) is they need to be aware of the potential and the possibility that it could or might happen. And to reduce the risk of it happening to them, should avoid situations (like being the only crew to a guy you don't know going offshore for an extended period of time) that put them at higher risk.

There are predators in this world. Predators are not stupid, and look for opportunity to get away with their abuses in a way that puts them in the least dangers, but also brings prey to them.

We know that men looking to target and abuse kids (male or female) often become members of churches, Boy Scouts, etc, because it provides easy access to prey, and are organizations that parents and kids are taught to trust. This is no different then that case.

Or the case of a young coed getting dressed up sexy and going to a frat party or bar alone and having too much to drink. No young coed deserves to get raped or abused because they did that. But if your a young coed, and you want to manage the risk, you don't go by yourself, and you don't drink alot.

Yeah, Sluggy is being crude but there is a nugget of truth in there.
YOU: A pretty young woman lacking in cash and sailing skills.
SKIPPER BOB: Has an expensive boat and the means to sail around for a year.
He is going to bring you along as the only crew because he is on a mission to subsidize random women sailing around the world? Well maybe. It could happen.
What is vastly more likely is he is looking for a romantic partner. This could range from hoping you also want this, with the downside you might be asked to find a new ride if you two don't click that way to something actually dangerous on the bad side.
If I had a female asking me about this, I would strongly suggest being PART of a crew, not being THE crew. That guy that has 2-3-4 happy looking young people aboard is the vastly safer bet.

 

[kent_island_sailor]

As for the predator aspect: You are an American girl. You got molested by a German skipper on a boat registered in Belgium while anchored in the Philippines and now you are in Thailand. Good luck finding any law enforcement entity that can deal with this or wants to.
When I was in Florida in the 80s the cheap cruise ships that went to the Bahamas had the derisive nickname of "rape boats". Filipino crew, Panamanian registry, international waters. Good fucking luck with that one

 

[EYESAILOR]

The problem is the isolated nature of ocean passages combined with the x% of men who are inclined to do bad and illegal things when they have a woman around and the risk of repercussion seems low.

Hitchhiking in a car for a 3 hour journey is risky. I did when I was in college and I carried mace. Hitchhiking in a boat on your own going offshore is even more risky...mace might not cut it. Its not like you can ask him to pull over and drop you off.

Anyone going off on crew adventures should be strongly advised that their safety depends entirely on their own confidence and skill in identifying a bad actor or bad situation and taking precautions and actions early.

The best advice is to go sailing with people (plural is always better than single) that you know or people who have been recommended to you by people you know and trust their judgement.

As former skipper of a boat I crewed with backpackers and web searchers, I am well aware that a great deal of them are quite vulnerable, and an adept narcissist skipper can easily target and take advantage of them. I admit to favoring women over men all other things being equal-ish, as having women brings its own distinct advantages, but the boat (8-12 crew) always seemed to end up around 50/50.

We have not discussed the risk to single skippers taking on backpackers and websearchers. It works both ways.

 

[kent_island_sailor]

Hitchhiking in a car for a 3 hour journey is risky. I did when I was in college and I carried mace. Hitchhiking in a boat on your own going offshore is even more risky...mace might not cut it. Its not like you can ask him to pull over and drop you off.

The best advice is to go sailing with people (plural is always better than single) that you know or people who have been recommended to you by people you know and trust their judgement.

We have not discussed the risk to single skippers taking on backpackers and websearchers. It works both ways.

It very much does work both ways.
Then these is just gross incompetence, see this book:

Albatross: A True Story of a Woman's Survival at Sea​

 

[Steam Flyer]

That's exactly what he's saying. Slug is a grub.

In this case, I don't think that's what Slug is saying at all. No one, no woman, should expect or be accepting of sexual abuse. What I think he is saying (albeit poorly) is they need to be aware of the potential and the possibility that it could or might happen. And to reduce the risk of it happening to them, should avoid situations (like being the only crew to a guy you don't know going offshore for an extended period of time) that put them at higher risk. ... ...

OK, can't disagree with that. Good on you for finding something good in Sluggo's postings when most are just looking to bag him.

Now, about the vice-grip hands thing..........

 

[slug zitski]

Hitchhiking in a car for a 3 hour journey is risky. I did when I was in college and I carried mace. Hitchhiking in a boat on your own going offshore is even more risky...mace might not cut it. Its not like you can ask him to pull over and drop you off.

The best advice is to go sailing with people (plural is always better than single) that you know or people who have been recommended to you by people you know and trust their judgement.

We have not discussed the risk to single skippers taking on backpackers and websearchers. It works both ways.

Step one

 

[robtoujours]

People need to be more aware of narcicissts and other predators in general. For some reason Cluster B screening is not a required course for high schoolers. It should be.

I alsways think of the film “Dead Calm” with Nicole Kidman.

Dead Calm (1989) - IMDb

Dead Calm: Directed by Phillip Noyce. With Nicole Kidman, Sam Neill, Billy Zane, Rod Mullinar. After a tragedy, John Ingram and his wife Rae are spending some time isolated at sea, when they come across a stranger who has abandoned a sinking ship.

m.imdb.com

I do have to wonder why young people of any gender think spending a month offshore in international waters with some random skipper on a tiny yacht is a good idea.

I personally can’t stand having people on board for more than 2 days. Even my last partner got the hint and got their own boat after a few passages. ;-)

 

[Great Red Shark]

Three pages and nobody's mentioned " The Implication " ?

 

[SloopJonB]

In this case, I don't think that's what Slug is saying at all. No one, no woman, should expect or be accepting of sexual abuse. What I think he is saying (albeit poorly) is they need to be aware of the potential and the possibility that it could or might happen. And to reduce the risk of it happening to them, should avoid situations (like being the only crew to a guy you don't know going offshore for an extended period of time) that put them at higher risk.

There are predators in this world. Predators are not stupid, and look for opportunity to get away with their abuses in a way that puts them in the least dangers, but also brings prey to them.

We know that men looking to target and abuse kids (male or female) often become members of churches, Boy Scouts, etc, because it provides easy access to prey, and are organizations that parents and kids are taught to trust. This is no different then that case.

Or the case of a young coed getting dressed up sexy and going to a frat party or bar alone and having too much to drink. No young coed deserves to get raped or abused because they did that. But if your a young coed, and you want to manage the risk, you don't go by yourself, and you don't drink alot.

I think you give The Slug too much credit.

 

[slug zitski]

People need to be more aware of narcicissts and other predators in general. For some reason Cluster B screening is not a required course for high schoolers. It should be.

I alsways think of the film “Dead Calm” with Nicole Kidman.

Dead Calm (1989) - IMDb

Dead Calm: Directed by Phillip Noyce. With Nicole Kidman, Sam Neill, Billy Zane, Rod Mullinar. After a tragedy, John Ingram and his wife Rae are spending some time isolated at sea, when they come across a stranger who has abandoned a sinking ship.

m.imdb.com

I do have to wonder why young people of any gender think spending a month offshore in international waters with some random skipper on a tiny yacht is a good idea.

I personally can’t stand having people on board for more than 2 days. Even my last partner got the hint and got their own boat after a few passages. ;-)

In general the people you want on board are sailors …not lifestyle types

to find young sailors contact the Yachtmaster training centers

to achieve a higher grade license requires sea time .

this is why they are on your boat ..sea time

they tend to be serious people that you can hire for an airplane ticket and food

 

[Autonomous]

OK, can't disagree with that. Good on you for finding something good in Sluggo's postings when most are just looking to bag him.

Now, about the vice-grip hands thing..........

Most here can quote the ol' "Ass, grass or gas, no one rides for free" and they'll get a chuckle.
Slug says nuthin's free and the jackals pounce.

He did step into the strong hands trap though.

 

[floater]

Good thing girls: You can brain him with the cast iron pot or a big pipe wrench and knock him overboard if he fucks with you, then call the CG. Not a lot of young ones in the mix. Light suggestion: If you brain him in his sleep, don't tell anyone that. "He was attacking me, i hit him in the head and he fell overboard". As close to a perfect crime as there is.

wait. is this legal advice?

 

[LionessRacing]

The concern about personal safety works in many directions. From molestation to robbery, not at all difficult to take aboard a couple or small group and find yourself slipped over the side some night and them in possession of a nicely equipped free yacht.

 

[MR.CLEAN]

That guy that has 2-3-4 happy looking young people aboard is the vastly safer bet.

There are constant opportunities for the kind of seclusion that allows all sorts of shenanigans even on boats with more than one or two crew. Plenty of pervy sketchy skippers out there renting out "4 berths" for young backpackers. They don't even have to give themselves away by asking for pics these days thanks to social media

 

[MR.CLEAN]

Hitchhiking in a car for a 3 hour journey is risky. I did when I was in college and I carried mace. Hitchhiking in a boat on your own going offshore is even more risky...mace might not cut it. Its not like you can ask him to pull over and drop you off.

Agree, which is why I'm suggesting it is all of our duties to share the information we can, and teach our kids (and our friends, when they ask) to protect themselves as best they can in a shipboard environment. This includes not just the physical protection stuff, but how to recognize when someone has an inclination to threaten immigration/passport shit, which is an old trick I've seen several scumbag skippers use.

We have not discussed the risk to single skippers taking on backpackers and websearchers. It works both ways.

I'd have to argue that the number of predatory cruising skippers absolutely dwarfs the number of predatory berth seekers, and the power imbalance is quite substantial. Otherwise we'd have an epidemic of robbed and/or murdered skippers. Orcas seem to be more dangerous to yacht skippers these days than backpackers.

 

[MR.CLEAN]

Step one

View attachment 569597

Alcohol abuse is far and away the number one indicator of a potentially abusive skipper, as you most definitely know.

 

[MR.CLEAN]

wait. is this legal advice?

only past the 200 nm line

 

[RobbieB]

I think a major warning sign would be someone advertising for female crew only. If your goal is to cross an ocean gender shouldn't matter - you are looking for competence.

A MAJOR red flag is anyone advertising for crew where experience doesn't matter. That should go both ways. If you are a green horn looking for an ocean voyage wouldn't you want to be on a boat with experienced sailors? It's not all wine and cheese out there....

 

[Rasputin22]