How do you repair a broken....ego

[Pertinacious Tom]

What I have learned from this thread is that when stinkpoter's screw up it often goes undetected. When sailors screw up, it's often visible from quite a distance.

While it's true that lots of sailor problems happen up in the air, powerboat problems can be highly visible. I've seen powerboats high and dry, looking pretty funny. There are also various flavors of underwater disaster that are not so visible when they happen, but everyone gets a good look when the boat comes out of the water.

I think if I were you I might have abandoned that dinghy in the muck, sold the boat without setting foot aboard again, and taken up golf or something. Glad you're still with us, and great story.

 

[Dan33]

This didn't happen to me, but I did witness it, so here it is.

Three summers ago, during a regatta, the brother of one of the skippers set about loading his Sea-doo on a trailer using the club launch ramp...as he was attempting to winch on the (dumb assed piece of crap) Sea-doo, the car started creep down the ramp. He jumped in the car and attempted to start it to no avail. However, by now he's further down the ramp, and he can't get the doors open. Thankfully he had a sunroof to crawl out.

What sticks in my mind the most...a large crowd formed to look at this VW turned submarine...when the car was completely submerged, the wipers activated!! :lol:

Apparently there is a God, and he hates Sea-doos as much as the rest of us.

 

[Jose Carumba]

The owner of a 105 ft twin screw expedition style motor yacht decided he would take the boat away from the dock instead of the paid skipper. He was doing ok untill the skipper came forward and excitedly told him to stop. Wondering what the hell was happening the owner looked back and saw several lengths of floats, complete with boats, trailing behind them attached by the stern line.

 

[Dan33]

Jose

Very good. You made coffee come out my nose :lol:

Ok....rather than start a new thread...let's change this to include the stupidest thing you have witnessed.

 

[Jager]

Sailing into the harbor one sunny saturday, we were enjoying a nice down wind sail back to the mooring. The wind was kicking up a nice chop (which we hardly noticed) but the power boaters were slamming into it!

Just as we made the turn at the point into the lee side of the harbor, a power boater on a Cigarette wanna-be came flying out into he main harbor...probably going 35-40kts, he hit the chop and the wind, flew in the air and launched the two dollies who were sunning themselves on the pad at the stern about 15 feet into the air and of course the boat promptly drove out from under them. As we ghosted by we could their screams of "Bastard, son of a bitch and more....he finally realized what had happened and came back and picked them up. Mrs J commented that they looked like the kind of girls who wear high heels on a boat!

 

[Ishmael]

Jose
Very good. You made coffee come out my nose :lol:

Ok....rather than start a new thread...let's change this to include the stupidest thing you have witnessed.

A few years ago, in a local pass. Idiot went the wrong side of the mark, at high tide. Took a long time to get him off, and the bottom of the boat didn't look very good afterwards.

 

[s/y bshfl]

Stupidity? Step aside, rookies.

I'm faculty advisor for a university sailing team. The team is accustomed to whistle starts, but they need to prep for a regatta where a conventional starting sequence will be used. I volunteer to function as race committee for the practices, so I take my personal sailboat out and anchor it, using a racing buoy for the pin end. I warn the kids that if anyone scratches my gelcoat the entire team is going to have to re-wax the hull. I don't have a shotgun on board, but I do have a .357 magnum, and I've had the foresight to purchase a box of blanks. So there I am, doing the flags and stuff without any help, counting down the timer and stuff, and at precisely the correct moment as the fleet closes in on the start line I raise the revolver and, careful to aim away from the students while still watching the line for OCS boats...BLAM....I blast my boom at point-blank range.

I learned three things that day: (1) a spar will scream when you shoot it; (2) powder burns on aluminum are permanent; (3) race committee duty should be left to trained professionals.

 

[Tigger12]

First cruise on the boat with my wife. Not quite familiar with how much one can use the holding tank before it needs to be emptied. Inner Harbour, Victoria. There was an increase in resistance from the pump handle. Of course, I just pumped harder.

Once the internal pressure reaches a certain point, I now know that the contents of the holding tank make a unique 'splatting' sound as they are ejected courtesy of loose fittings. At least we had ready access to lots of bleach...and booze.

 

[Ajax]

Dude, blech! :blink: Good story though.

 

[tager]

One fall night in 2009 I was sailing around Lake Union in light wind. I noticed a motorboat of about 20 ft showing two red flares. I headed over to lend assistance, to find a group of drunk men, age 30 and up, playing with flares. '

"Do you need help?"

"No, we are just lighting flares."

So I turned my motor off and went back to my sailing.

 

[Pertinacious Tom]

That wasn't stupid, tager. Try again.

 

[Xenon Herrmann]

That wasn't stupid, tager. Try again.

tager was stupid in not offering the motorists some gasoline-soaked rags or somesuch

 

[Bruce T. Shark]

First story - witnessed...I grew up sailing in Greenport LI, nice old school yard, the owner who was a very quiet type had responded to some sailors question on how to tune the mast straight..loosen up the rig on one side and use the other side to tighten it up..some where between instruction and the walk back down to the docks the lesson was muddied..and they took all 3 stays and disconnected them on the deck step mast which then proceeded to fall across the neighboring boats..grin...the owner didnt believe it when i ran up to his office to tell him..grin..

Another story from the same yard - guy had a chris craft apache (beautiful boat to my age 13 eyes) coming into the harbor he waved us down..turns out he was showing someone how fast his boat could turn at full speed and snapped the rudder shaft..we towed him in with our Mighty Pearson 26..

Same guy different story - the Apache is gone and replaced with a Cal 25 with 15k worth of fittings or holes drilled in the deck (i forget) well he was late to the starting line and that outboard was screaming pushing the boat fast...till all of a sudden the pitch changed and i looked over and saw this engine doing a flipper, standing straight up in the water but held on by the gas line and then it was gone! LOL in 90 feet of water!

For you LI guys - this was the owner of the Rhumb Line resteraunt in Greenport - god I loved his beer selection when i could drink!

I am prevented by my lawyers and insurance company from disclosing anything i have done..grin..

 

[Dan33]

On Tom's suggestion I'm bumping this up to give Ajax an overview of just how enormously skilled some of us "experienced" sailors are after years of practice.

 

[Pertinacious Tom]

Ajax has already been here and posted a story that might have cured me of any desire to ever sail again, had it been my first experience. :lol:

 

[Ajax]

Just to keep my hand in, here's my latest flub-

I took a lubber buddy out for a sail one afternoon and told him that if I fell overboard, and he couldn't recover me, to stop the boat and push the red "distress" button on the VHF.

The PO put a super-long whip for the VHF on the stern instead of something at the top of the mast where it'd be out of the way and do the most good. The wind was a-blowin' good that day and the instant I cleared the pilings at my slip, the wind tried to blow me right up the boat ramp. The antenna was in the "down" position, pointed forward. The tip snagged on a piling and although I had the engine in full reverse, I didn't back off fast enough and it snapped in a shower of brittle, decade-old fiberglass shards.

He looked at me and said "Now how should I call for help?" I just looked at him and sail "Use your cell phone, it'll still work" and we set off anyway.

I replaced the whip, with a cheapy Shakespeare replacement but I'm really looking to get one to the top of the mast. Sigh.

 

[Steam Flyer]

Just to keep my hand in, here's my latest flub-

I took a lubber buddy out for a sail one afternoon and told him that if I fell overboard, and he couldn't recover me, to stop the boat and push the red "distress" button on the VHF.

The PO put a super-long whip for the VHF on the stern instead of something at the top of the mast where it'd be out of the way and do the most good. The wind was a-blowin' good that day and the instant I cleared the pilings at my slip, the wind tried to blow me right up the boat ramp. The antenna was in the "down" position, pointed forward. The tip snagged on a piling and although I had the engine in full reverse, I didn't back off fast enough and it snapped in a shower of brittle, decade-old fiberglass shards.

He looked at me and said "Now how should I call for help?" I just looked at him and sail "Use your cell phone, it'll still work" and we set off anyway.

I replaced the whip, with a cheapy Shakespeare replacement but I'm really looking to get one to the top of the mast. Sigh.

Tune in next week for the joys of in-mast wiring and coax connectors exposed to the elements.

With boats, you can't really FIX anything, you can merely choose which set of problems you want to deal with.

FB- Doug

 

[SamsDad]

We left Ventura Harbor about 2PM heading to Santa Barbara Island to meet my salty skipper’s friends then spend the night to begin our week long Channel Islands adventure. Of course the wind was building all the way but not to worry as the 2 of us had a lot of experience on his 35 footer and had sailed these waters plenty.

We kept nipping brandy and had a great meal of rice and tomato paste (Skips a great cook?!) plus brandy.

We got to SBI (no real harbor just an open roadstead under rocky cliffs) just as dark fell (I still am not sure why anyone would visit SBI anyway as I always just considered it a turning mark) and saw 6 or 7 boats anchored fore and aft in 2 rows and spotted Skips buddies boat.

We deftly set the stern anchor then motored waaaaay up and dropped the bow and settled between buddies 30 footer and a pretty glossy Hinkley. It is well after dark so we immediately rowed 2 bottles of wine over to our new best friends in the chop in about a 15 knot breeze.

We were able to finish the wine and some then rowed back, but damn if it wasn’t even windier. We hit our bunks but were jumped right back up by some thumping on the port beam. It seems our extreme scope had allowed us to still move sideways (like a school girls jump rope) into the pretty Hinkley.

It’s about 1 AM and still cold and windy and both owners were up and waiving their arms as we hauled both anchors and we motored straight upwind to set again ahead of the next row of future victims.

Its late and blowing so we set the bow first and Skip puts me in a dinghy with the stern anchor to go blowing off aft until I hear barely above the wind “Drop it”. So I do. This is followed by the ghostly shout of “ Do you have the line?” Gee why no I don’t but you should. Nope – we’ve dumped our stern anchor , chain and 250 foot of new manila braid streaming into the Pacific. I’m rowing for all I’ve got back upwind to get to our boat (the original plan was to pull myself back on the anchor line) but we can’t stay between these 2 new “friends” or we’ll be meeting them at 2AM as well.

So we go motoring forward well clear of anymore victims and toss the remaining anchor and set it and let out waaaaay more lots of scope (rocky bottom and lots of wind ya know). 30 minutes into our slumber we are awakened by the dulcet tones of an airhorn being operated by some one in a panic. Skip is up in the cockpit while I cover him from the pilot bunk and I hear:” You’re dragging down on me!”. Skip: “No this is right were I left her.” “Why in hell did you anchor over my ground tackle”. Skip: “I got lonely” and back to the bunk.

Alcohol was believed to have been involved.

 

[creedence623]

On the weekend, we were anchored in Montague Harbour watching the boats come in by the dozens. I was sitting on the foredeck, chillin', and when my wife used the head, I couldn't help but notice that our holding tank was full, since there was an impressive jet of "matter" out of the newly-installed through-hull vent. Not having had this vent before, it was understandable that my wife thought that was a good place to park the kayak. h34r: I don't think there could have been more than maybe 100 people in the vicinity watching the event.

So there we are, at 5 PM in a rapidly filling anchorage, with a full holding tank and a really really nasty kayak. After washing the kayak, we upped anchor and quietly slid away to another nearby (almost deserted) cove. Another couple of rinses and the kayak will be like new.

I had a similar experience except my vent is located on the bottom of a stantion aimed right toward the opening port to the head. As I am flushing it, the vent squirts a chum-like stream of month old detritus right into my face. Gotta love the cruising life!

 

[mrtrimmier]

Oh where to begin????

1. Back in HS I met a guy from TN (read "fresh water) He I and another friend borrow his uncles johnboat and head into the Beaufort River (read "salt water") Fresh water is driving and sees 2 rouge waves and heads toward them at full throttle.. "WTF man???" "Oh we're gonna go surfing, woooooo hooooooo" Over the first wave and submarine under the second. Boat is swamped. I tell fresh water to exit to the the rear and the other guy and I will exit simultaneously via different sides to keep the boat right side up. Fresh water goes off of my side. Boat turtles, we lose everything except the motor which is now locked up from salt water intrusion... Swim boat to Naval Hospital ramp and walk miles to get the car. Uncle not happy

2. It's Water Festival so the river is crammed with powerboats. I bring my Hobie 16 in behind a clutch and hang out for a while. We attempt to leave and my rudder snags an anchor line. We get free and tear ass off on a beam reach with one hull flying way high, hotdogging. Set her back down to get new beers and the helm starts to get "weird" I notice in the nick of time that water is lapping over the windward hull, which almost sinks so we move to the leeward side and sail to the shore. Very lucky. Took about an hour to drain the hull and install a NEW drainplug...

3. My friend has a 16 foot bassboat with an older 80 Merc. Nice boat for it's age but no tilt/trim. He find and installs same. Leaves sandbar with motor way too high shooting a rooster tale which stands the boat up on its stern and flips him out. Luckily his handhold was the throttle and got it down to idle speed....

That's all that comes to mind for now. If you think about it, we're all much more lucky than stupid!!!

Regads,

INFIDEL