I want this on a Tee-Shirt

[SockeyeUS119]

Its a koan. an intangible riddle. like If a man is alone in the woods is he still wrong? What is the sound of one hand clapping?

What goes in hard and stiff and comes out soft and sticky?

What does a dog do on three legs, a woman sitting down and a man standing up?

What sticks so far out of a man's pajamas that you can hang your hat on it?

What does a Woman have two of and a cow have four of?

If you can answer these questions and keep your mind out of the gutter you are eligible to join the international turtle club.

If you meet another Turtle in your travels, he may ask if you are a turtle. The only acceptable answer, based on the assumption that every good man owns a donkey is, "You bet your sweet ass I am." If for some reason you are too embarrassed to answer in the prescribed manner you must buy him the drink of his choice.

 

[MikeR]

I was sure there were multiple parts to the poll and funny too!
But the law of unintended consequences assured that i would provide a better venue for your collective humor than planned.

Quo Cogito Errata Demonstratum

What is the difference between a duck?

"She's a witch!"

Cheers,

MikeR

 

[Bus Driver]

What goes in hard and stiff and comes out soft and sticky?What does a dog do on three legs, a woman sitting down and a man standing up?

What sticks so far out of a man's pajamas that you can hang your hat on it?

What does a Woman have two of and a cow have four of?

If you can answer these questions and keep your mind out of the gutter you are eligible to join the international turtle club.

If you meet another Turtle in your travels, he may ask if you are a turtle. The only acceptable answer, based on the assumption that every good man owns a donkey is, "You bet your sweet ass I am." If for some reason you are too embarrassed to answer in the prescribed manner you must buy him the drink of his choice.

When I was inducted (so long ago, I can't remember when), blurting out the reply until all questions were satisfactorily answered was a definite "no-no". Actually, it was a closely guarded secret. Either times have changed or you need to turn in your card.

(edit) Ah, crap. It's on Wiki. Is nothing sacred? I'm going back to bed.

 

[SockeyeUS119]

When I was inducted (so long ago, I can't remember when), blurting out the reply until all questions were satisfactorily answered was a definite "no-no". Actually, it was a closely guarded secret. Either times have changed or you need to turn in your card.
(edit) Ah, crap. It's on Wiki. Is nothing sacred? I'm going back to bed.

I was inducted at the Turtle Club Dinner bar in Fairbanks AK and they would ask you if you were a turtle when you sat at the bar. I answered no. The Bartender then asked if I would like to become a turtle. I said yes. He presented me with a card that was as near as I can remember like the above post. Upon satifactorily answering the questions I was allowed to keep the card. Unfortunately it has met its demise. in the distant past. If I transgressed proper turtle behavior with the above post I will buy you the drink of you choice next time we meet. I felt it was the answers that were secret not the proper response to the initial interrogatory. The interdiction is against waffling on the response.

Hell, I'd buy you a drink anyway. I've never met another turtle outside of FBX or people i inducted.

 

[Bus Driver]

I was inducted at the Turtle Club Dinner bar in Fairbanks AK and they would ask you if you were a turtle when you sat at the bar. I answered no. The Bartender then asked if I would like to become a turtle. I said yes. He presented me with a card that was as near as I can remember like the above post. Upon satifactorily answering the questions I was allowed to keep the card. Unfortunately it has met its demise. in the distant past. If I transgressed proper turtle behavior with the above post I will buy you the drink of you choice next time we meet. I felt it was the answers that were secret not the proper response to the initial interrogatory. The interdiction is against waffling on the response. Hell, I'd buy you a drink anyway. I've never met another turtle outside of FBX or people i inducted.

I'll take you up on that drink when I get to the PNW so long as you let me buy when you are next in the Baltimore/Annapolis area.

 

[SockeyeUS119]

I'll take you up on that drink when I get to the PNW so long as you let me buy when you are next in the Baltimore/Annapolis area.

Yer'on Driver.

 

[DMarod]

Its a koan. an intangible riddle. like If a man is alone in the woods is he still wrong? What is the sound of one hand clapping?
What goes in hard and stiff and comes out soft and sticky? Chewing gum

What does a dog do on three legs, a woman sitting down and a man standing up? shake :lol:

What sticks so far out of a man's pajamas that you can hang your hat on it? His Head

What does a Woman have two of and a cow have four of? Legs

If you can answer these questions and keep your mind out of the gutter you are eligible to join the international turtle club.

If you meet another Turtle in your travels, he may ask if you are a turtle. The only acceptable answer, based on the assumption that every good man owns a donkey is, "You bet your sweet ass I am." If for some reason you are too embarrassed to answer in the prescribed manner you must buy him the drink of his choice.

 

[DMarod]

The teacher said to little Johnnie~

What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

"OK,what does a dog do that a man steps into?"

"What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"

"What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"

You stick your pole inside me, you tie me down to get me up, and I get wet before you do."

"OK, a finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first."

"I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good."

I have a stiff shaft, my tip penetrates, and I come with a quiver."

What word starts with an 'F', ends in K', and means a lot of heat and excitement?"