i'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting

[aA]

pretty good...

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

 

[LostDaggerboard]

favorite so far:

(440): I love you

(720): are you drunk

(440): yes but I def love you, we should get married

(720): But I'm Jewish

(440): embrace Jesus

and this one:

(703): Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.

and:

(460) wrigley field is MILF paradise

 

[aA]

(914): ? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?

(773): jesus mom

 

[War Dog]

(360): I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock

Labels: (360)

:blink:

(631): Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?

Labels: (631)

:lol:

(310): Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?

Labels: (310)

Ok last one. From 209 area code SSC after the DDR??

(209): Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night

Labels: (209)

h34r:

 

[troy]

my vote:

(310): i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.

 

[LeKa]

Is it bad that I have no idea what this thread is about????????????????

 

[Rodrigging]

(515): Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?

(847): Beat you to it.

 

[LostDaggerboard]

Is it bad that I have no idea what this thread is about????????????????

click the link sir [or madam]

 

[Wreck™]

(650): oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'

TPG, where are you?

 

[Buster_Hymen]

(360): I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty Ricky. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestockLabels: (360)

 

[Dawg]

You got to be kidding

 

[tuf-luf]

You got to be kidding

Almost unbelievable isn't Dawg?

Great thread... so far.

 

[Barkley]

(504): can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...

(703): Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT!

(540): awesome babe! drinks tonight!

(703): Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.

Labels: (540), (703)

 

[LostDaggerboard]

(303): Have you learned any life lessons?

(406): I like big butts and I cannot lie.

 

[MSG]

(336): I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choice

sounds fair to me h34r:

s.

 

[TANGO QUEBEC]

If you know the Dusty I know, this one is spot on!!

(360): I'd fuck her, but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock.

 

[Terrorvision]

(214): your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.

(1-214): we're not divorced.

(970): Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.

(970): Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right

(601): How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?

(318): Alcohol?

(601): Sex with a fat chick.

 

[TPG]

(650): oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
TPG, where are you?

(212): Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods

 

[Barkley]

(925): so explain again why im purple

(617): no

Labels: (617), (925)