SloopJonB
Super Anarchist
I actually knew a guy once who complained that Preparation H suppositories were ineffective - because he didn't take the foil off. :lol:
Joke
- Thread starter JOD
- Start date
warbird
Super Anarchist
A guy into the doctor and says Preparation H does work adding "For all the good they did I might as well shoved them up my ass."
On The Hard
Super Anarchist
Here's a classic from page 11
Many years ago I used to have a Labrador retriever. One afternoon, I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Since this was such an obviously DUMB question, on impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and because the food is nutritionally complete, I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought the tall guy was going to have to stagger out the door.
Many years ago I used to have a Labrador retriever. One afternoon, I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Since this was such an obviously DUMB question, on impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and because the food is nutritionally complete, I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought the tall guy was going to have to stagger out the door.
Glenn McCarthy
Super Anarchist
Grande Mastere Dreade
Snag's spellchecker
Grande Mastere Dreade
Snag's spellchecker
Headntac
Super Anarchist
It looks like the Chinese proved that a wall works...
They aint got no.. Mexicans
They aint got no.. Mexicans
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Cal20sailor
Super Anarchist
Grande Mastere Dreade
Snag's spellchecker
I need to print this one, but in bigger font so I can read it without squinting....
Headntac
Super Anarchist
I guess you can pick your battles..
Can't bat
Cant bowl
Cant take a joke on a joke thread
G
Guest
Guest
Cal20sailor
Super Anarchist
Why the race card? Jeff, you are a short insecure asshole that needs guns to feel whole.
chester
Super Anarchist
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From bill engvall:
You know there's a warning on preperation h "do not take this orally"
You someone wrote them "I ate this whole darn tube and I still got these hemroids, my mouth's so small I can't eat a peanut, but I can whistle really good"
P_Wop
Super Anarchist
On the Prep H topic, I had 4 birthdays in a row (late May) in the middle of the Atlantic on deliveries back from the Caribbean to the Med.
After one evening celebration I was "put to bed." Arising next morning with a mouth like the inside of a running shoe, I staggered into the head to scrub my teeth. Squeezing a hefty length out of my personal toothpaste I started the scrub. Foul filthy green/brown froth emerged from my mouth, then the tastebuds triggered. A massive chuck followed.
Howls of laughter from on deck.
The bastards had squeezed out my toothpaste and backfilled the tube with Prep H.
I love my crew.
After one evening celebration I was "put to bed." Arising next morning with a mouth like the inside of a running shoe, I staggered into the head to scrub my teeth. Squeezing a hefty length out of my personal toothpaste I started the scrub. Foul filthy green/brown froth emerged from my mouth, then the tastebuds triggered. A massive chuck followed.
Howls of laughter from on deck.
The bastards had squeezed out my toothpaste and backfilled the tube with Prep H.
I love my crew.
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mad
Super Anarchist
SloopJonB
Super Anarchist
