Joke

SPORTSCAR

Super Anarchist
800px-Justus_Sustermans_-_Portrait_of_Galileo_Galilei,_1636.jpg Piccolo.jpg

 
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billy backstay

Backstay, never bought a suit, never went to Vegas
On the Prep H topic, I had 4 birthdays in a row (late May) in the middle of the Atlantic on deliveries back from the Caribbean to the Med.  

After one evening celebration I was "put to bed."  Arising next morning with a mouth like the inside of a running shoe, I staggered into the head to scrub my teeth.  Squeezing a hefty length out of my personal toothpaste I started the scrub.  Foul filthy green/brown froth emerged from my mouth, then the tastebuds triggered.  A massive chuck followed.

Howls of laughter from on deck.  

The bastards had squeezed out my toothpaste and backfilled the tube with Prep H.

I love my crew.


At work someone once stole my Hershey bar out of the communal fridge, and I was tempted to wrap an Ex-Lax bar, in a Hershey wrapper, and hope they did it again!

 

bacq2bacq

Anarchist
603
254
Ottawa
I think the message we should all draw from SJB's note above (on the joke thread no less!): 

"Party Pooper!"

Posted just for shits 'n giggles.

 
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Grande Mastere Dreade

Snag's spellchecker
That was done to a guy that I worked with at IBM.

Bad thing to do - he almost required hospitalization.


HS wrestling inter-school scrimmage, someone on our team set it up with a guy on another team to offer "chocolate" to guy on a third team whom wasn't well liked for being a douche..

couple hours into the scrimmage , this guy jumps up off the mat and tosses the guy he was working with to the side and bolts for the locker room..  a few  muffled laughs from our team..  coach gave us a look of,,    "I don't want to know"....

 

SloopJohnB

Super Anarchist
1,408
352
New Zealand
Brand naming in healthcar[SIZE=13.3333px]e[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.5pt]    All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.5pt]    Example, the trade name is Tylenol and its generic name is[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.5pt]Acetaminophen... Aleve is also called Naproxen.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.5pt]    Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.5pt]    The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.5pt]    After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.5pt]recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.5pt]    Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix,[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.5pt]and of course, Ibepokin.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.5pt]    Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.5pt]liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.5pt]for use as a mixer..[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.5pt]    It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.5pt]one.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.5pt]    Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.5pt]meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.5pt]old-fashioned 'stiff drink'.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.5pt]    Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.5pt]    Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.5pt]and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.5pt]    This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.5pt]with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what[/SIZE]

[SIZE=13.5pt]to do with them.[/SIZE]

 

SloopJohnB

Super Anarchist
1,408
352
New Zealand
[SIZE=16pt]Three ladies are chipping up to the fourth hole at River Hill Golf Club [/SIZE][SIZE=16pt]when a naked man wearing a paper bag over his head jumps from the trees and runs across the green. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=16pt]The three ladies stand in awe at the size of his manhood.[/SIZE]

The first lady[SIZE=16pt] [/SIZE][SIZE=16pt]says, 'He is definitely not my husband.'[/SIZE]

The second lady[SIZE=16pt], gazes at his manhood and says, 'He is not mine either.'[/SIZE]

[SIZE=16pt]After a very considerable inspection, [/SIZE]the third lady finally says,

[SIZE=16pt]'He's not even a member of this golf club'.[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] [/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt] [/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt] [/SIZE]

 

d'ranger

Super Anarchist
29,477
4,543
So, the drug jokes reminded of my idea for a ED drink: Dr. Pecker, the quicker pecker upper.  Somehow it never took hold.

 

SloopJohnB

Super Anarchist
1,408
352
New Zealand
THE JACK DANIEL'S TRICK

 A woman goes to a counselor, worried about her husband’s temper. 

The counselor asks, "What's the problem?

The woman says, "I don't know what to do. Every day my husband loses his temper for no reason. It scares me." 

The Counselor says, "I have a cure for that. When it seems your husband is getting angry, take a double shot of

Jack Daniel's bourbon and swish it in your mouth. Swish and swish, but don't swallow it until he either leaves

the room or calms down." 

Two weeks later, she goes back to the counselor, looking fresh and reborn.

She tells the counselor, "That was a brilliant idea. Every time my husband started to get angry, I swished the

Jack Daniels and he would start to calm down. 

It was amazing!  

What is it about Jack Daniels that makes it work like that?

The counselor said, "The Jack Daniel's does nothing.

Keeping your mouth shut is the trick.

 

alphafb552

Super Anarchist
2,912
622
Fryslan boppe!
I remember when I was a kid I could go to the store with $1 and come home with 3 bags of chips, 2 candy bars, 6 packs of starburst and a cold drink.

Nowadays they've got cameras everywhere.

 

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