Joke

blabert

Member
165
0
canada
On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together.

One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor.

Running around, the chicken spied the f! armer's new Harley. finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear

bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and,with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented:

Best Buddies, Best Pals.

A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and

soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!

The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle.

Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his tail and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip,and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story? .......

"When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks."

:p

 

blabert

Member
165
0
canada
On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together.

One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor.

Running around, the chicken spied the f! armer's new Harley. finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear

bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and,with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented:

Best Buddies, Best Pals.

A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and

soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!

The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle.

Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his tail and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip,and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story? .......

"When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks."

:p

 

Philc

Super Anarchist
A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around

the block?"

Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat."

"What's that mean?" asked the child.

"Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage."

The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for

a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat,

and to come to you."

Dad said, "Bring Belle over here."

He took a rag, soaked it with petrol, and scrubbed the dog's backside

with it to disguise the scent, and said "OK, you can go now, but keep

Belle on the leash and only go one time round the block." The little girl

left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.

Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?"

The little girl said, "She ran out of petrol about halfway down the

block, so another dog is pushing her home."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stoned Monkey

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey "hey! what are you doing?"

The monkey says "smoking a joint, come up and have some." So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have a few joints.

After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river.

The little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.

A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard, "what's the matter with you?" The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the monkey in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "hey you!"

The Monkey looks down and says "faaaaaaak dude.......how much water did you drink?!!"

 

Philc

Super Anarchist
Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, She did a splits and suctioned-cupped herself to the floor.

She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!"

Bruce came running in.

"Bruce, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor," she said.

"S'truth," Bruce said, and tried to pull her up.

"You're stuck fast girl. I'll go across the road and get Cobber (his mate)." They came back and they both tried to pull her up.

"No way, we can't do it," Cobber said, "so let's try Plan B."

"Plan B," exclaimed Bruce, "what's that?"

"I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we'll break the Tiles under her," replied Cobber.

"Spot on," Bruce said, "while you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her nipples.

"Play with her nipples?," Cobber said, "not exactly a good time for that mate!"

"No," Bruce replied, "but I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we Can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are less expensive"

 

Delta Blues

Super Anarchist
6,212
1
A boy and his dad are in the park throwing a ball, the ice cream vendor stops by and the dad buys two cones. They sit on the park bench eating the ice cream when two dogs out in front of them start going at it.

Boy: Dad, what are those dogs doing?

Dad: (fumbling trying to avoid the question), Uh, you see the one dog stepped on something sharp and the other dog is giving it a piggy back ride home. (feeling genious for his quick answer)

Boy: Dad, isn't that just like life?

Dad: (confused) What is that son?

Boy: It seems that every time you try to help someone out, they end up fucking you in the arse!

 
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blabert

Member
165
0
canada
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said, "OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!" The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?" The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete...how much steel!! No, think of another

wish." The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women....know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment....know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'....know how to make them truly happy...."

The genie asked, "Do you want that bridge two lanes or four?"

 

Delta Blues

Super Anarchist
6,212
1
A guy gets back from his honeymoon and his buddy wants details. He says, "Well, did you go at it?" The honemooner says, "No." "Why not?" Asked the buddy? The honeymooner says, "Well you see she has gonorrhea." The buddy says, "Did you flip her over and give her one up the poop shoot? The honeymooner said, "No, she had Diarrhea." The buddy said, "Did you get a knobber?" Again the honeymooner said, "No. She has pyorrhea." The buddy said, "What in the earth did you marry this girl for?" The honeymooner said, "She's got worms and I like to fish!"

 

29ersailor

Member
213
0
Winter-peg
These Are Real, Word for word exchanges that were taken were written down and published in a book called "disorder in American Courts"

...I feel sorry for the fella that had to copy these down while keeping quiet

---------------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?

WITNESS: July 18th.

ATTORNEY: What year?

WITNESS: Every year.

------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

---------------------------------------------

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?

WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?

WITNESS: Forty-five years.

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?

WITNESS: We both do.

ATTORNEY: Voodoo?

WITNESS: We do.

ATTORNEY: You do?

WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his

sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

___________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one..

________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Uh....

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a

deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on

dead people?

WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you

go to?

WITNESS: Oral.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was

doing an autopsy on him!

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS: Huh?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check

for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when

you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and

practicing law

-------------------------------------

...American Stupidity amazes me sometimes

 
A 75 year old man went to his doctor to get a sperm count.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a semen sample tomorrow".

The next day, the 75 year old man returned to the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened, and the man explained, "Well, doc, it's like this....

First I tried with my right hand, but nothing.

Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.

Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing.

She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing.

We even called up Arlene, the lady next door, and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeez'n it between her knees, but still nothing".

The doctor was shocked. "You asked your neighbor?!"

The old Man replied, "Yep, but no matter what all 3 of us tried, with our arthritis, we still couldn't get the jar open"

 
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TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

If YOU are one of them . . . CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives “for our own good”.

And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

 

hard aground

Super Anarchist
A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now."

He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the light? Now? Does it look like I have a G.E. logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so."

"Well, then could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right."

To which he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have Westinghouse written on my forehead? I don't think so."

"Fine," she says, "Then could you at least fix the steps to the front door? They're about to break."

"I'm not a damn carpenter and I don't want to fix the steps," he says. "Does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead? I don't think so. I've had enough of you. I'm going to the bar!"

So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple hours. He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home and help out. As he walks into the house, he notices the steps are already fixed. As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working. As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed. "Honey, how'd this all get fixed?"

She said, "Well, when you left, I sat outside and cried. Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either sleep with him or bake him a cake."

He said, "So, what kind of cake did you bake him?"

She replied, "Hellooooo... Do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead?"

 

hard aground

Super Anarchist
A beautiful woman loved to garden, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red.

One day while taking a stroll she came upon a neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes.

The woman asked the gentlemen, "What do you do to get your tomatoes red?"

The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden and expose myself, and my tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."

The woman was so impressed, she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work. So twice a day for two weeks she exposed herself to her garden hoping for the best.

One day the gentlemen was passing by and asked the woman, "By the way, how did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?"

"No" she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous."

 

hard aground

Super Anarchist
60 Things Not to Say to a Naked Guy

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.

2. Ahh, it's cute.

3. Who circumcised you?

4. Why don't we just cuddle?

5. You know they have surgery to fix that.

6. It's more fun to look at.

7. Make it dance.

8. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.

9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?

10. It looks like a night crawler.

11. Wow, and your feet are so big.

12. My last boyfriend was 4'' bigger.

13. It's ok, we'll work around it.

14. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?

15. Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.

16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?

17. Oh no, a flash headache.

18. (giggle and point)

19. Can I be honest with you?

20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.

21. Let me go get my tweezers.

22. How sweet, you brought incense.

23. This explains your car.

24. You must be a growing boy.

25. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.

26. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.

27. Are you one of those pygmies?

28. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?

29. Every heard of clearasil?

30. All right, a treasure hunt!

31. I didn't know they came that small.

32. Why is God punishing you?

33. At least this won't take long.

34. I never saw one like that before.

35. What do you call this?

36. But it still works, right?

37. Damn, I hate baby-sitting.

38. It looks so unused.

39. Do you take steroids?

40. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it.

41. Maybe it looks better in natural light.

42. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?

43. Oh, I didn't know you were in an accident.

44. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?

45. Aww, it's hiding.

46. Are you cold?

47. If you get me real drunk first.

48. Is that an optical illusion?

49. What is that?

50. I'll go get the ketchup for your french fry.

51. Were you neutered?

52. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.

53. Does it come with an air pump?

54. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.

55. Where are the puppet strings?

56. Your big gun is more like a BB gun.

57. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes.

58. Never mind, why bother.

59. Is that a second belly button?

60. Where's the rest of it?

 

JabberLarney

Member
131
0
A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come with me running through the forest, you'll see, you'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.

Then they come across an elephant doing coke, so the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come running with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!" The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all,then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.

The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up... and the rabbit is, like, "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!"

The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the shit out of the little rabbit. As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror, they look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this? He

was merely trying to help us all!"

The lion answers, "That little fucker makes me run around the forest like an idiot for hours every time he's on ecstasy!"

 

JabberLarney

Member
131
0
Understanding Political Ideology

FASCISM - You have 2 cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

FEUDALISM - You have 2 cows. Your Lord takes some of the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM - You have 2 cows. Your neighbours take care of them and you all share the milk.

APPLIED COMMUNISM - You have 2 cows. You have to take care of them but the government takes all the milk.

DICTATORSHIP - You have 2 cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

NIGERIAN DEMOCRACY - You have 2 cows. The government takes both, shoots you and sends the cows to Zurich.

MILITARISM - You have 2 cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY - You have 2 cows. The government fines you for keeping 2 unlicensed farm animals in your apartment.

PURE DEMOCRACY - You have 2 cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY - You have 2 cows. Your neighbours pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY - The government promises to give you 2 cows if you vote for them. After the election the President is impeached for speculating in Cow futures. The Press dubs the affair "Cowgate". The cow sues you for breach of contract.

BRITISH DEMOCRACY - You have 2 cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.

EUROPEAN DEMOCRACY - You have 2 cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that its takes both, shoots one and milks the other, pouring the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms regarding the missing cows.

CAPITALISM - You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a Bull.

HONG KONG CAPITALISM - You have 2 cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother - in - law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping 5 cows. The milk rights of 6 cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all 7 cows milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns 8 cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the 2 cows because of bad Feng Shui.

TOTALITARIANISM - You have 2 cows. The government takes both and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS - You are associated with (the concept of ownership is a symbol of the phallocentric, warmongering, intolerant past) two differently aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of unspecified gender.

SURREALISM - You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

 

L Z

Reporters
The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all her medicines.

The young doctor's eyes grew wide as he realized she had a prescription for birth control pills. "Mrs. Jones, do you realize these are birth control pills?

"Yes, they help me sleep at night."

"I assure you, NOTHING in these could possibly help you sleep!"

She patted the young Doctor's knee. "Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old granddaughter drinks. Believe you me, it helps me sleep at night."

 

L Z

Reporters
After finishing moving into a new apartment of his own, a young man went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing nothing but a robe. The young lady smiled at the young man and started a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.

The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment. I hear someone coming."

He followed her into her apartment. She closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to

fall completely off. Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"

Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears!"

Astounded and a little hurt, she asked, "My ears? Look at these boobs, they are full and 100% natural! I work out every day! My butt is firm and solid! Look at my skin. I have no blemishes anywhere! How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"

Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming? That was me.

 

Soton_Speed

Member
219
11
UK
I know this has probably been posted before, but....

How many forums members does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

1 to move it to the Lighting section

2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section

7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

5 to flame the spell checkers

3 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again

 

Delta Blues

Super Anarchist
6,212
1
Why is the horse on the emblem of the AFL-CIO?

It is the only other animal known to sleep while standing up.

How many Notre Dame alumni's does it take to change a lightbulb?

30. 1 to actually change the bulb and 29 to stand around and reminisce about it.

How many union electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?

27. Do you got a problem wit dat?

 




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