yupA man and his wife went on vacation to Jerusalem.While they were there, the wife passed away.
The undertaker told the husband, '' You can have her
shipped home for $5,000 or you can bury her here, in
the Holy Land for $150.''
The man thought about it and told him he would just
have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, '' Why would you spend $5,000 to
ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be
buried here and you would only spend $150?''
The man replied, '' Long ago a man died here, was
buried here, and three days later he rose from the
dead. I just can't take that chance.''
(along the lines of a joke farther back)So I tell my doctor that I think I'm getting senile because I keep forgetting to zip up.He tells me that I'm not senile. If I were senile, I'd be forgetting to zip DOWN.
Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk...Gilligan said:
No way mate! You missed the " B) "Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk...Gilligan said:
Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk...
c) Passive-aggressive disorder
Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk...
a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.
Nope, no more booze for me.
c) Sorry, but you're not really my type.
d) No kebab for me, thank you.
e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
f) I'm not interested in fighting you.
g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.
h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no
co-ordination. I'd hate to look like a fool.
i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.