Joke

[Bump-n-Grind]

 

[warbird]

I did that but explained it was my 21st birthday. I had been riding my bicycle down the alleyway 3 blocks to "Milton and Olga's" for a beer after finishing highschool homework (graduated in the upper 25%) for 2 years. Brought friends along on weekends.

 

[P_Wop]

I woke up this morning determined to drink less, eat right and exercise. But that was six hours ago, when I was younger and full of hope.

 

[warbird]

Karen’s dishwasher stopped working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a cheque”.

“Oh, by the way, don’t worry about my bulldog Spike. He won’t bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot! I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!”

When the repairman arrived at Karen’s apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest-looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing, and name-calling. Finally, the repairman couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled, “Shut up you stupid, ugly bird!”

To which the parrot replied, “Get him, Spike!”

 

[warbird]

 

[SloopJonB]

I knew a guy once who was prescribed Preparation H suppositories for his Roids.

He bitched & moaned about them not working until he found out he was supposed to remove the foil.

True story.

 

[slap]

 

[Remodel]

I knew a guy once who was prescribed Preparation H suppositories for his Roids.

He bitched & moaned about them not working until he found out he was supposed to remove the foil.

True story.

One year, the company I worked for decided to send seafood gift boxes to clients at christmas. A couple months later I ran into one of them from Oklahoma. I asked him how he liked his gift. He said, "the fish was pretty good, but we couldn't eat the shrimp."

Oh'" I said, "why not?"

"The shells were too crunchy."

 

[PurpleOnion]

One year, the company I worked for decided to send seafood gift boxes to clients at christmas. A couple months later I ran into one of them from Oklahoma. I asked him how he liked his gift. He said, "the fish was pretty good, but we couldn't eat the shrimp."

Oh'" I said, "why not?"

"The shells were too crunchy."

I forget the details, but crux of the story was that condoms didn't work and the cause was the wife was stir frying them and feeding them to the husband.

 

[SloopJonB]

Calamari?

 

[Snaggletooth]

My dad tooke a Tx cliente who wase intente on haiveng hisse first lobstere oute to lunche. Aftere finisheng the to largeste in the plaice he sheepishley askse "do you eate the shelles to?"

 

[slap]

 

[Captain Ketamine]

If that were only true…sadly they breed…

 

[slap]

 

[slap]

 

[slap]

 

[slap]

 

[warbird]

 

[Cruisin Loser]

My dad tooke a Tx cliente who wase intente on haiveng hisse first lobstere oute to lunche. Aftere finisheng the to largeste in the plaice he sheepishley askse "do you eate the shelles to?"

Gerald Ford came to Texas as President and tried to eat a tamale with the husk on.

 

[Quickstep192]

My dad tooke a Tx cliente who wase intente on haiveng hisse first lobstere oute to lunche. Aftere finisheng the to largeste in the plaice he sheepishley askse "do you eate the shelles to?"

It’s always a fun time watching someone have a go at their first soft crab sandwich. Half of those I’ve seen try one for the first time think it’s a practical joke.