“Ferrari F1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday."
This announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British government's 'Work foryour Dole' scheme and employ some Mancunian youngsters.
The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Salford were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 2 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew could only do it in 3.5 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high tech equipment.
It was thought to be an excellent, bold move by the Ferrari management team as most races are won and lost in the pits, giving Ferrari an advantage over every other team.
However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for. At the crew's first practice session, not only was the Mancunian pit crew able to change all four wheels and tyres in under 2 seconds but, within 24 seconds, they had re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the car to the McLaren team for 8 cases of Stella lager, a bag of weed and some photos of Lewis Hamilton's bird in the shower.