Joke

1

1_&_in

Super Anarchist
4,213
17
All over the shop
MIKE CORDNER said:
If we were in the physical, instead of the virtual, I'd like to think that you'd have the decency to accept my protests like all my other friends do. No need for a field trip, just tell me where YOU are, and if it,s feasible, I'll come and meet with you, and hopefully we could crack some good jokes together. I love jokes, just like you do, so lets not get hung up on this, and put our minds to enjoying some more FUN instead, eh?
By the way - merry Christmas to you and all the rest of you folks out there, I hope its one of the best you've ever had.
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no worries mikey, i am in a muslim country so i will meet you at the mosque around the corner maybe they can teach you something about religion.

 
D-mon

D-mon

Super Anarchist
8,913
0
North East Tennessee
Mike,

PA is Political Anarchy. Go there. Have a thick skin. Your not alone here but the atheist are more vocal and abusive. (Imagine that).

Father Joe is walking through the red light district and the ladies keep saying "Father you want head? only ten bucks" He is not sure what this means so he goes back to the convent and says Mother Teresa what "head"?

She says "10 bucks same as in town!"

 
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L

Lee G

Super Anarchist
3,323
0
Top Ten Reasons That Beer Is Better Than Jesus:-

a) No one will kill you for not drinking beer.

b ) Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.

c) They don't force beer on minors who cannot think for themselves.

d) Beer has never caused a major war.

e) When you have a beer you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.

f) Nobody has ever been burned at the stake, hanged or tortured over a beer.

g) You don't have to wait 2000 years for a second beer.

h) There are laws saying beer labels cannot lie to you.

I) You can prove you have a beer.

j) If you are devoted to beer then there are groups who can help you stop.

 
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1

1_&_in

Super Anarchist
4,213
17
All over the shop
An Indian man dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates.

"Yes, how can I help?" asks St Peter.

"I'm here to meet Jesus," says the Indian man.

St Peter looks over his shoulder and shouts, "Jesus, your cab is here!"

Q: What's white and zips across the sky at 100 mph followed by a band of angels?

A: The coming of the Lord.

What's the difference between real Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

A Catholic priest, a Boy Scout leader and a lawyer take some boys out on an adventure trip. On the flight over, there is engine trouble and the plane is about to go down.

"We have a problem", says the pilot. "There are only three parachutes!"

The Boy Scout leader suggests they give them to the boys.

"Screw the boys," shouts the lawyer.

"Is there time?" asks the priest.

Q: What do you give a paedophile who has everything?

A: A bigger parish.

Hitler walks up to the Pearly Gates and says to St Peter, "I'd like to come in."

St Peter: "Not likely!"

Hitler: I've repented and I've given back all the gold and treasures that I stole from the Jews, and I'm really sorry."

At that point, Jesus walks up and asks what's going on. St Peter: "It's Hitler here, he wants to come in."

Jesus: "Bugger off!"

Hitler: "No, it's true! To prove it, I've got a six foot solid gold cross I can't find the owner of. I could give that to you."

Now Jesus was partial to crosses, so he went to see God. Jesus: "Hey Dad, I've got Hitler outside and he wants to come in now he's repented."

God: "Tell him to get lost!"

Jesus: "But Dad, he's given back all the gold that he stole from the Jews - except for a six foot, solid gold cross he can't find the owner for. He says I can have it."

God: "And what do you want with a solid gold cross? You couldn't even carry a fuckin' wooden one!"

What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?

A pimple waits until you're 13 before coming on your face.

Q: How does Jesus masturbate?

A: [Mime: place the palm of your hand over your groin, then move your hand away from and towards yourself, as if you were using the hole through your palm.]

A little girl is standing on top of a cliff, looking down at the sea and crying her eyes out. A priest approaches and says, "My child, why are you so upset?"

The little girl turns to him and says, "My mummy and daddy were in their car – and it just rolled over the cliff and smashed on the rocks down there."

The priest slowly looks around him while unbuttoning his cassock and says, "It's just not your day, is it?"

 
Touch of Gray

Touch of Gray

Super Anarchist
2,732
1
Puget Sound
Lee G said:
Top Ten Reasons That Beer Is Better Than Jesus:-a) No one will kill you for not drinking beer.

b ) Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.

c) They don't force beer on minors who cannot think for themselves.

d) Beer has never caused a major war.

e) When you have a beer you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.

f) Nobody has ever been burned at the stake, hanged or tortured over a beer.

g) You don't have to wait 2000 years for a second beer.

h) There are laws saying beer labels cannot lie to you.

I) You can prove you have a beer.

j) If you are devoted to beer then there are groups who can help you stop.
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Well you got back on the "joke" thread, and flamed this guy simultaneously. Well done, clap clap.

TOG

 
Bump-n-Grind

Bump-n-Grind

Get off my lawn.
14,117
2,898
Chesapeake Bay/Vail
desertdingo said:
A little BOY is standing on top of a cliff, looking down at the sea and crying her eyes out. A priest approaches and says, "My child, why are you so upset?"
The little BOY turns to him and says, "My mummy and daddy were in their car – and it just rolled over the cliff and smashed on the rocks down there."

The priest slowly looks around him while unbuttoning his cassock and says, "It's just not your day, is it?"
Click to expand...

Correction provided by Accuracy in Journalism

 
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Sol Rosenberg

Sol Rosenberg

Girthy Member
92,171
10,120
Earth
Jesus and Moses were watching the Master's golf tournament at Augusta. They thought they

would like to play golf. They went to Augusta to play. When they had to cross water to the

next green Moses asked "What club are you going to use." Jesus replied "Arnold Palmer always uses a 7 iron, so I am going to use a 7 iron." He hit the ball and it went into the water. Moses parted the water and retrived the ball. Then suggested that Jesus use a different club. Jesus again said

"Arnold Palmer uses a 7 iron, so I am going to use a 7 iron." He again hit the ball into the water.

Moses sighed, parted the water, retrived the ball and again suggested using a different club.

Jesus again said "Arnold Palmer uses a 7 iron, so I will use a 7 iron. Moses said "If you hit it

in the water again I will not go after it." Jesus hit the ball in the water once again. When Moses

stood by his word and did not part the water, Jesus walked out onto the water to retrive his ball.

About this time the next group of golfers came up behind them. Seeing Jesus walking on the

water one of them remarked. "Who does he think he is, Jesus Christ?" Moses replied "He is

Jesus Christ. He thinks he is Arnold Palmer."

 
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