Obese

[mikewof]

Read Steve Callahan's account of his 76 days in a liferaft and drifting all the way across the Atlantic to Guadeloupe or Martinique. He was pretty much wasted away but had been shooting dorado feeding on barnacles growing on the fabric bottom of his inflatable liferaft. He was picked up by some local fishermen who saw the raft and didn't bother to see if anyone was inside, just started catching the fish in its shadow. He was asleep or passed out and heard the commotion that they made as they started landing the big bull dorado and stuck his head out scaring the crap out of the fisherman. They came and took him aboard and gave him some water and snacks and let him sleep in some shade while the last of the school of fish that had sustained and tortured him for weeks. As they brought in their gear and got ready to motor back to the island, they asked if he wanted anything and he just asked if they had caught the big bull as he had been dueling with that particular fish the whole time and it would swim up and butt him in his salt sore back and butt as soon as he fell asleep or just laid still. They pulled the big dorado up out of the fishbox to confirm that it was the one and he said yes and that he wanted it when they got to shore because he was going to eat the bastard! When they got Steve and his fish ashore the clinic did a thorough exam on him and were surprised at how well he had survived. I forget the details but his flow caloric intake and minimal fluid intake had left him weakened and he was sunburnt to a crisp, but then he decided to join a sailboat returning to the states and he signed on for the delivery. To him it was a 'getting back on the horse that threw you' thing but his body had longer term inbalances from his long fast and he got quite ill on the delivery trip. Apparently his shrunken stomach and vital electrolytes were not ready for a regular diet. Hope I didn't misremember the facts of his story here.

Fucking A, I love this. We just aren't built for these lives of corporate consumption. We're animals, we need to live like animals, rather than enlightened fuck-knobs.

 

[Snaggletooth]

efk, I thick I licke that........

 

[Blue Crab]

Where's Not His Real Name to point out our errors and give us the real skinny?

 

[Point Break]

3 squares a day will ensure a round profile.

 

[Point Break]

 

[Rasputin22]

It takes me more than one minute to create paragraphs when I C&P the Heather report from the email. Some days the paragraphs transfer but most days they do not.
.

I wrote that post sans paragraphs on a new Chromebook.

For some reason it wouldn't let me create paragraphs. Maybe it was because I have not hooked up a mouse yet and the trackpad and its taps are a bit wonky or so it seemed to me.

BTW, I got the little lightweight Lenovo Chromebook online for only $79 as they are upgrading the processor on that particular model. It is surprisingly useful for internet browsing and I got it for my GF who tries to do everything on her IPhone. But I like the Lenovo so much I may just keep it by my TV chair for stuff I don't want to expose my desktop work machine.

I am usually pretty good with my spelling and punctuation when I weave one of my tales here so am trying to make it up to yall by making a surplus of paragraphs in this post!

Are you happy now Just Some Guy?

 

[hobot]

When I was a cardiac nurse we were discharging an 800lb lady who could not walk.

We called for EVERYONE. There were 10 of us in the room, nurses, security guards, some sheriff who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. All lifting the blankets she was on.

When we transferred her I ended up in her pile of old blankets. Blech.

Another time I had to give a 460lb woman a Foley. My work wife held the woman's table sized belly into the air and I went spelunking.

Nothing but respect for the work you do, thank you.

 

[Autonomous]

Okay, R22, here's the thing. Don't explain yourself, just share anecdotes. We love your stories.
Got it? Good.

 

[Rasputin22]

Okay, R22, here's the thing. Don't explain yourself, just share anecdotes. We love your stories.
Got it? Good.

Thanks Auto! I was going to do a follow up on the Castaway story about Callahan but was having second thoughts after being taken to task by the Paragraph and Punctuation Nazi... Bad enough to have Spelling Nazi's lurking about.

Was about ready to dig up my Mom's old Strunk and White 'Elements of Style' book but fuck them if they have a hissy fit over missing paragraphs...

Don't get me started on ellipsis's...

 

[billy backstay]

(snip)....
I am usually pretty good with my spelling and punctuation when I weave one of my tales here so am trying to make it up to yall by making a surplus of paragraphs in this post!

Are you happy now Just Some Guy?

Thanks Rasputin! I doubt Just Some Guy is ever happy!
.

 

[justsomeguy!]

I doubt Some Guy is ever happy!

No need to capitalize my moniker.

 

[Rasputin22]

No need to capitalize my moniker.

Then I will just use italics for you justsomeguy...

 

[Blue Crab]

ellipsis's...

uh oh

 

[hobot]

After reading through these pages finally, Yes this was my breakfast yesterday morning and yes I'm going to burn in hell.
(The toast was my brother-in-law's, but but to be fair I only ate one slice of bacon and most of the gravy and sausage but only one of the biscuits).

 

[Blue Crab]

That's 'Merican food rat there! We're fat but tough.

 

[130lights]

After reading through these pages finally, Yes this was my breakfast yesterday morning and yes I'm going to burn in hell.
(The toast was my brother-in-law's, but but to be fair I only ate one slice of bacon and most of the gravy and sausage but only one of the biscuits).

View attachment 537428

Looks like cardiac hell . But also something my siblings would indulge in.

I had occasion to have breakfast with my Cardiologist and another cardiac patient at a pancake house, where I would have normally indulged in crepes. Both of us, as his patients, weren’t about to order really ‘bad’ food. Of course the doc assured us we should just eat like he wasn’t there. Not a chance we would have done that.

 

[Israel Hands]

Was about ready to dig up my Mom's old Strunk and White 'Elements of Style' book

I hated that kind of book when I was in school, but actually it's a pretty good one.

 

[slap]

"Why do Americans eat like they have free healthcare?"

 

[Zonker]

Been out sailing with 3 women for a week. One was a vegetarian so we all ate that way for a week. My special breakfast today was 1 egg, 3 slices of bacon, and a home fried potato. My wife cooked so I did not complain but I could have lived with 1 less sluce of bacon!

Felt very over the top after the veggie diet.

 

[P_Wop]

Been out sailing with 3 women for a week. One was a vegetarian so we all ate that way for a week. My special breakfast today was 1 egg, 3 slices of bacon, and a home fried potato. My wife cooked so I did not complain but I could have lived with 1 less sluce of bacon!

Felt very over the top after the veggie diet.

Sounds good.

On the few occasions I go out for a business breakfast (what a fucking abominable idea this is is for us Euros) I have one poached egg, an English (haha!) muffin, buttered, and one slice of medium-cooked bacon. No potatoes, no fruit, nuffin.

The poached egg goes on one half muffin, and the other half is bisected and the bacon slice folded in three, and the top whacked on. Bacon butty!

American friends are generally horrified, as they tuck into their gargantuan breakfasts.

Oh, and a Mimosa.