Suzanne Heywood and her Epically Misguided 70's Cruising Parents
- Thread starter Foiling Optimist
- Start date
Jud - s/v Sputnik
Super Anarchist
The boat looks a bit better in this pic below (grabbed from one of the sites linked to above).
I feel like we may judging Mr. Cook in absentia, a public lynch mob. Sympathetic to a publisher’s possibly hyped story about child imprisonment on the high seas. Moreover, it may be that the author’s perceptions are clouded or faulty, decades on. Or could be exaggerated to sell books to a sympathetic public.
We need a panel of experts to obtain and read both books —hers and his— and then the trial can begin, once we have evidence available for the plaintiff and defendant.
The real question is who is qualified to be an impartial judge, taking into account Mr. Cook’s high level of seamanship skills rescuing his family from the Southern Ocean tragedy, and the fact that had she (daughter) not had the cruising experience, inspired by marine life she encountered along the way (according to an article linked to in a post above), she may not have pursued her zoology degrees and become a business executive, and may instead have ended up becoming a dishwasher or day labourer —and instead writing a book accusing her parents of severe educational neglect for not taking her world cruising like her peers’ parents did. (Which may well be sympathetic towards.)
Who can be an impartial judge in this weighty matter? Starzinger? ACCNick? Both sea dog circumnavigator “eminence grises” of some repute who could impartially weigh the evidence. And who will take Mr. Cook’s defense? A challenging job. And will his odd choice of boat be on trial as well? There must be a naval architect present in CA who can take this case on pro bono. Is anchoring or anchors a factor in the case? If so, I believe Mr. Panope would be an excellent technical advisor in the case. Is there a child psychologist here in CA who could help untangle and understand the family dynamics at play here? And, so, what about the publicity-shunning brother (her brother)? Should he be brought in as a witness? Or is he still recovering from the ordeal, currently pursuing his 10th masters degree? Many questions to resolve before the trial.
Here’s the father’s earlier book about the voyage:
Schooner to the Southern Oceans: The Captain James Cook Bicentenary Voyage 1776-1976
Last edited:
You raise interesting and valid points. There were numerous families cruising with children when we were out there, but the ones we knew were pretty conscientious about home-schooling, at the very least.
They were also very cognizant of the idea that it would be desirable to have them back to "civilization" by the time they were to the age where socialization with peers would be a really important part of their emotional and educational development.
The family fitting this general description that we were closest to happened to be very good friends we had known before they had children and went cruising. They purposely went cruising while the kids were very young. The mother was actually a primary school teacher, so the kids not only grew up learning the ropes of sailing, but got as much of a "conventional" education as was practical, given the communication difficulties then (late 1980s) compared to now.
By the way, the boat they did a "wrong way" circumnavigation on was a flush-deck 48' early 1970s ocean racer with little in the way of creature comforts, coffee grinders for trimming the huge headsails, and a cockpit suited for ocean racing but not cruising. In other words, it was a completely seaworthy S&S design that was not well suited for shorthanded family cruising.
The kids came back astonishingly competent. The only issues they had re-adjusting to land-based school when they returned was that they were more worldly and immensely more self-sufficient than their nominal peers.
None of us really knows enough of the details of the Cook's family dynamic and history to judge them. They fact that this is how the daughter interpreted things was enough for me to assume that she really had been neglected to the point of abuse.
Maybe if I had been a fly on the bulkhead at the time, I would have a different view of things.
Jud - s/v Sputnik
Super Anarchist
My post was, of course, (I hope it was obvious) tongue-in-cheek - but reading a bit about the family in light of her publishing her story, and then seeing that her father had earlier published his own story about the voyage, got me wondering what his take on the whole experience is: probably utterly different from hers, as a child with little choice in the matter.
I’ve no doubt her experience wasn’t always good (head injury sustained at sea in a storm, shipwreck, etc). Makes you realize how, on any sort of expedition/voyage, every member really does need to “be onboard” with the project.
We thought about cruising with our kid (beyond a 6-month cruise to Alaska) farther afield but didn’t due to financial and other reasons. She’s a competent sailor now, a dinghy sailing coach. I’m not sure that a life cruising, for a while anyway, would’ve necessarily been a good thing or a bad thing. It certainly would’ve been challenging, that’s for sure - not necessarily what I’d have wanted to do…
Last edited:
Bull City
A fine fellow
We had four children, three of them are boys. No way I could have cruised with them and not been guilty of abandonment, abuse or worse. 
J_Grove
Member
For awhile now I've lamented my 3 kids (10, 12, 14) lack of enthusiasm for the idea of taking a year off to cruise. I'm used to pushing them into things and having them thank me later (usually) but this would be a whole different level. As it is, they just sort of tolerate our days on the water, and definitely don't fight for time on the tiller. I think about all the "my fondest memories are time on the boat with dad" posts I regularly come across on this forum, and wonder what it is I'm doing wrong.
Finally it occurred to me that a large degree of survivor bias must be at play here. Sailing was massively popular in the 70's and early 80's (when I was a kid) and the kids who really hated it, day sailing or cruising, aren't on forums today talking about how great a time it was. Duh. I came across the story in the OP yesterday and thought "wow, here's the counter narrative on steroids".
Reading it was just depressing. I haven't given up - convincing my wife to put her career aside for a year or two is an equal challenge.
Finally it occurred to me that a large degree of survivor bias must be at play here. Sailing was massively popular in the 70's and early 80's (when I was a kid) and the kids who really hated it, day sailing or cruising, aren't on forums today talking about how great a time it was. Duh. I came across the story in the OP yesterday and thought "wow, here's the counter narrative on steroids".
Reading it was just depressing. I haven't given up - convincing my wife to put her career aside for a year or two is an equal challenge.
dylan winter
Super Anarchist
- 6,831
- 2,203
I owned and raced 4 man keel boats until the kids came long and I decided that I needed to be there at weekends for them.... sold all the boats save one mirror Dinghy, that did us until they were eight and big enough to spend six hours in a day sailer. - 14 foot Tarpon. Then toppers, enterprise, solo, laser 1, laser 2. The Mirror offshore did not arrive until they went to university.
But on youtube we can see long term cruisers coping with kids to the point where it is now a bit of narrative cliche - even adding a bit of drama when Lavag sprogs get attacked by monkeys.
We have also seen people cruising with dogs galore, a chicken, the odd parrot.
When I was growing up on the orwell a family used to cruise with a duck, they brought it down in the car, it followed them rowing out to their cruiser, climbed aboard to be social and for journeys. As soon as they came back and picked up the mooring it would jump overboard and then follow them back in the pram to the car. Feck.
But on youtube we can see long term cruisers coping with kids to the point where it is now a bit of narrative cliche - even adding a bit of drama when Lavag sprogs get attacked by monkeys.
We have also seen people cruising with dogs galore, a chicken, the odd parrot.
When I was growing up on the orwell a family used to cruise with a duck, they brought it down in the car, it followed them rowing out to their cruiser, climbed aboard to be social and for journeys. As soon as they came back and picked up the mooring it would jump overboard and then follow them back in the pram to the car. Feck.
Dogscout
Member
I hear the worlds smallest violin playing. It may sound concerning, but it surely isnt unique.
Raincoast
Member
What stands out to me, contrasting the various articles about the father, is that the family was clearly loaded and did not want for opportunity at any point in their lives:
They sailed for fifteen years with and the parents immediately transitioned back into owning a 14th century castle.
They carried a library of 3000 rare books aboard the 70 foot schooner, which they fit out and financed the maintenance on for almost two decades. Even in the 90’s, that wasn’t cheap.
Both children went to prestigious post secondary schools, earned multiple degrees (4 masters, in the case of her brother) and both parachuted into government careers which rapidly carried them to high society status. The author went on to be a successful vulture at McKinsey & Co.
While this is being spun as a tale of parents who ditched it all to sail endlessly and neglect their children, it is most certainly not. It is a rich privileged person bitching that their parents were neglectful in the special way which only old money rich families ever are, except this one decided to lark about on a boat rather than treating their progeny like shit on land whenever they were briefly home from boarding school. Take out the boat and there is nothing special here.
Really, it smacks overall of a disingenuous attempt to garner sympathy by leveraging the now classic “Tory persecution complex”, after the authors husband died while still embroiled in one of the largest corruption and lobbying scandals in modern UK history.
They sailed for fifteen years with and the parents immediately transitioned back into owning a 14th century castle.
They carried a library of 3000 rare books aboard the 70 foot schooner, which they fit out and financed the maintenance on for almost two decades. Even in the 90’s, that wasn’t cheap.
Both children went to prestigious post secondary schools, earned multiple degrees (4 masters, in the case of her brother) and both parachuted into government careers which rapidly carried them to high society status. The author went on to be a successful vulture at McKinsey & Co.
While this is being spun as a tale of parents who ditched it all to sail endlessly and neglect their children, it is most certainly not. It is a rich privileged person bitching that their parents were neglectful in the special way which only old money rich families ever are, except this one decided to lark about on a boat rather than treating their progeny like shit on land whenever they were briefly home from boarding school. Take out the boat and there is nothing special here.
Really, it smacks overall of a disingenuous attempt to garner sympathy by leveraging the now classic “Tory persecution complex”, after the authors husband died while still embroiled in one of the largest corruption and lobbying scandals in modern UK history.
This guy gets it.
Bull City
A fine fellow
@Raincoast Perhaps you’re right. I took the narrative as factual, and on that basis, it was abandonment.
kent_island_sailor
Super Anarchist
How do you "abandon" kids on a boat? How far away could they be?
He is talking about the daughter, whose own tale as described here included being left behind to care for herself and her younger brother in a foreign country with no apparent support system.
I know nothing about the family other than the things posted here. Others clearly know quite a bit more.
kent_island_sailor
Super Anarchist
I actually went and read the story - that is NUTS if actually true.
OTOH I know any number of girls from school who were middle class at worst and grew up in a nice safe place with good schools who imagined their lives were the 9th circle of hell if they were within ten miles of their mothers
OTOH I know any number of girls from school who were middle class at worst and grew up in a nice safe place with good schools who imagined their lives were the 9th circle of hell if they were within ten miles of their mothers
Indeed, and hence the initial reactions from Bull City, myself, and some others.
kent_island_sailor
Super Anarchist
I can't really speak to New Zealand child services from decades ago, but that situation now in most places would have consequences like kids to foster care and parents in court.
Also a large contrast between castle-buying rich and too poor to look after kids and eat anything but biscuits
Jud - s/v Sputnik
Super Anarchist
It is a very interesting Marxian reading of this obscure bit of modern cruising history (and modern. British history). (Obscure enough that the father’s grandly titled cruising narrative referenced above, celebrating Captain Cook’s voyages, is nowhere to be found for sale online.)
Now, can we get a post-structuralist, and then a feminist, reading of the story too? These would be good fodder for conversation
. It’s getting a bit thin around here lately.
kent_island_sailor
Super Anarchist
In other news, some kids like some things and some don't.
From the very first time I was on a boat I knew I loved it and the same with airplanes. I was allowed to "steer" one of those old varnished mahogany Chris Crafts at speed with some adult help at age 4 My first plane ride likewise 2 years later, I was all over that.
I knew kids who thought sailing with their parents was about as much fun as sawing a limb off. Some of it is the parents are terrible in confined spaces and some of it is some people are just not into it.
I guess I am lucky, my son had been on numerous multi-day cruises by his 1st birthday and liked it then and now.
From the very first time I was on a boat I knew I loved it and the same with airplanes. I was allowed to "steer" one of those old varnished mahogany Chris Crafts at speed with some adult help at age 4
My first plane ride likewise 2 years later, I was all over that.I knew kids who thought sailing with their parents was about as much fun as sawing a limb off. Some of it is the parents are terrible in confined spaces and some of it is some people are just not into it.
I guess I am lucky, my son had been on numerous multi-day cruises by his 1st birthday and liked it then and now.
Bull City
A fine fellow
Well, from a post-structuralist POV, I would say that @Raincoast 's long post is structuralist.Now, can we get a post-structuralist, and then a feminist, reading of the story too? These would be good fodder for conversation
Kris Cringle
Super Anarchist
- 3,582
- 3,329
Assuming her account of being left to fend for herself and raise her little brother while the parents sailed away is a bold-faced lie, then I would imagine the father would have an account that they stayed together throughout this adventure.
Has anyone found this alternative history?
