Suzanne Heywood and her Epically Misguided 70's Cruising Parents

[Zonker]

The kids came back astonishingly competent. The only issues they had re-adjusting to land-based school when they returned was that they were more worldly and immensely more self-sufficient than their nominal peers.

This describes my daughter very well. We wrapped up a RTW when she was 15. The following summer she got introduced to a friend of a friend who was running for Mayor of Vancouver as an independent candidate. (for local folks, Shauna Sylvester, who came 3rd).

At age 16 she was the "Campaign Coordinator" - responsible for a whole heck of a bunch in a political campaign. We didn't see much of her that summer and into the fall. She said it was common for her to be talking to somebody (community organizer, all candidates meeting chair, important donors) who would look her up on Google and say "Wait a second. How old are you?" She would just reply "I'm 16, can we get back to the topic?"

At 17, on a school spring break from her high school in Swaziland, she and a friend hitchhiked across about 1000 km of the Kalahari desert when their bus was cancelled and alternate plans kept falling through.

She's 21 now and at university. She volunteers in probably Canada's most gritty and dangerous neighborhoods, Vancouver's Downtown East Side. Walking to her car after she was done, a rather drugged up local guy tried to get into her car, saying he was going to kidnap her. She told him off (on the other side of the car) and calmly walked away, back to the volunteer job location to let others know to take care.

She is quietly and scarily competent in traveling the world and dealing with all sorts of cultures. And she is kind, intelligent and I do think that her upbringing had a lot to do with it.


HOWEVER (to kind of get back to the topic on hand) she HATED Captain Cook.

"M. do you know who anchored here for the transit of Venus?"
"M. can you guess why this town was called '1770' ?"
"M. do you want to walk to the top of this island so we can see the Barrier Reef?"

All of these, and many more, were places Cook had visited. He got around.

Ms. Heywood's parents sound like fuckwits however.

 

[Jud - s/v Sputnik]

The Southern Ocean has unique appeal to a very small percentage of cruisers, whether they have children with them or not.

There are not an awful lot of cruising boats that sail in that apart of the ocean.

Nor in Arctic waters. I know of a only one transit of the Northwest Passage that has included children. Regular car cruising with children is one thing. High latitudes, the NWP via Newfoundland and Greenland on a 30’ wooden sailboat with two young teenagers…hmmm…

No fanfare, no sponsors, very little written about it (they wrote no articles or book). http://sailingvesselprecipice.blogspot.com/2009/09/phase-iii-lower-48.html?m=1

 

[Steam Flyer]

I met Peter Tangvald and his son and daughter in Culebra just after Hurricane Hugo. What a story of his lost wives and turns out the the son eventually got lost at sea too!

THOMAS TANGVALD: Declared Lost At Sea - Wave Train

Crossing my fingers he may yet be found!

wavetrain.net

More of the sons story with some of the history of his Dad. The acorn didn't fall very far from the tree...

THE BOY WHO FELL TO SHORE: Thomas Tangvald and Melody (More Extra Pix!) - Wave Train

"An engrossing account of this remarkable and ultimately doomed young man," writes Mark Bowden, author of "Black Hawk Down." This non-fiction biography of Thomas Tangvald is much more than just a sailing story. It is an unusually dramatic tale of childhood trauma and its consequences.

wavetrain.net

A PRINCE IN HIS REALM: The Amazing Life of Thomas Thor Tangvald - Wave Train

So says Mark Bowden, author of Black Hawk Down: "an engrossing account of this remarkable and ultimately doomed young man" and "a sprawling portrait of a remarkable community of bluewater sailors, a tribe of humans who prefer ocean to land."

wavetrain.net

Both of those stories were like 'The Glass Castle' on boats.

 

[Foiling Optimist]

I'm the OP here, and I'm so pleased how this thread turned out and that Suzanne has appeared, and I do look forward to reading the book. I've mentioned this before but another person with a decidedly mixed experience of sailing as a child is the Vancouver textile artist Bettina Matzkuhn, a story which features that other favorite west coast topic, ferrocement boats. Her German émigré father apparently built a really good one and they cruised the pacific northwest, in her childhood, but a lot more than would have been desired by her. The boat, of course, apparently could not be sold properly, being ferrocement and all, so it ended on a low note for the father. Bettina has been artistically influenced by all this however:

Sail — Bettina Matzkuhn

www.bettinamatzkuhn.ca

 

[Gissie]

You raise interesting and valid points. There were numerous families cruising with children when we were out there, but the ones we knew were pretty conscientious about home-schooling, at the very least.

They were also very cognizant of the idea that it would be desirable to have them back to "civilization" by the time they were to the age where socialization with peers would be a really important part of their emotional and educational development.

The family fitting this general description that we were closest to happened to be very good friends we had known before they had children and went cruising. They purposely went cruising while the kids were very young. The mother was actually a primary school teacher, so the kids not only grew up learning the ropes of sailing, but got as much of a "conventional" education as was practical, given the communication difficulties then (late 1980s) compared to now.

By the way, the boat they did a "wrong way" circumnavigation on was a flush-deck 48' early 1970s ocean racer with little in the way of creature comforts, coffee grinders for trimming the huge headsails, and a cockpit suited for ocean racing but not cruising. In other words, it was a completely seaworthy S&S design that was not well suited for shorthanded family cruising.

The kids came back astonishingly competent. The only issues they had re-adjusting to land-based school when they returned was that they were more worldly and immensely more self-sufficient than their nominal peers.

None of us really knows enough of the details of the Cook's family dynamic and history to judge them. They fact that this is how the daughter interpreted things was enough for me to assume that she really had been neglected to the point of abuse.

Maybe if I had been a fly on the bulkhead at the time, I would have a different view of things.

Met them in Fiji, we were going the other direction, great family. Like us, socialising the kids was a priority, so time was spent where there were others. Would pile all the kids onto our boat, was the biggest, parents all on theirs. Great memories from a lifetime ago.

The mistake is when the trip and parents desire takes priority over the child's development.

 

[Priscilla]

I was a young boy when my father purchased what can be best described as a antique wooden submarine with a skyscraper mast attached to a endless boom complete with acres of sail and a bowsprit that could poke out a whales eye.
Mostly two up we lived aboard and journeyed the coast for several years and looking back on that part of my life the most vivid remaining memories are of hell passages filled to the brim with pressing matters of health and safety.
Swept away by the cutting black heat of youthful fear were any memories of idyllic anchorages endless summers and peace.
The irony of this was although I was not a willing participant in my father's endeavours I did journey on in life to spend a large portion of time at sea racing cruising boat building etc in fact my chosen happy place is on a boat at sea.
As I look back on time I can see that whether by osmosis or inheritance I too have the very same fearlessness my father had in spades when we were frequently knocking on Davy Jones front door in that old log of wood.
He has sailed on and although we spent many moons estranged I see in my son that very same calming surety it must of been all those years he spent on our old wooden log.

 

[Kris Cringle]

I was a young boy when my father purchased what can be best described as a antique wooden submarine with a skyscraper mast attached to a endless boom complete with acres of sail and a bowsprit that could poke out a whales eye.
Mostly two up we lived aboard and journeyed the coast for several years and looking back on that part of my life the most vivid remaining memories are of mostly hell passages filled to the brim with pressing matters of health and safety.
Swept away by the cutting black heat of youthful fear were any memories of idyllic anchorages endless summers and peace.
The irony of this was although I was not a willing participant in my father's endeavours I did journey on in life to spend a large portion of time at sea racing cruising boat building etc in fact my chosen happy place is on a boat at sea.
As I look back on time I can see that whether by osmosis or inheritance I too have the very same fearlessness my father had in spades when we were frequently knocking on Davy Jones front door in that old log of wood.
He has sailed on and although we spent many moons estranged I see in my son that very same calming surety it must of been all those years he spent on our old wooden log.

I can't decide if this is a wonderful lede into a full piece of journalism or the whole book tightly wrapped up, cover to cover.

 

[Raincoast]

Poetry, is what that post is, damn.

 

[Panope]

I was age 6 when my folks (with almost no sailing experience) hatched the plan to build Panope and sail away. I spent a large part of my youth in Panope's belly "helping" my father with the fit-out and dreaming of the adventure.

Although bonafide plans were in place for several years, I can now see that my mother would not have lasted 10 minutes at sea. I reckon she was merely seeking an escape.
A divorce ended up being far more effective.

Fast forward 48 years and I still have not made an ocean passage. While I have no urge to "sell it all" and leave (I like my work shop too much), I would like to make a lazy Summer cruise to Alaska one of these years.

Sadly, my family has no interest in this, so the cruising dreams will die with me.

 

[toolbar]

@Panope, probably your family can do without you for one single summer? Especially if you come back happy and satisfied and maybe they would even visit you for a few weeks inbetween.

Paul

 

[Panope]

Paul,

For sure, they would be fine with that, and would likely come up for a visit. It very well may play-out that way.

But...

Although I thoroughly enjoy sailing or being under way alone, as soon as the anchor goes down I pine for the company of someone close, to share the experience.

I've done up to about a week aboard by myself and found the only thing that works is to just keep moving.

That's fine for an ocean crossing, but is no way to do the inside passage.

It's all good. I've been dealt I pretty good hand. Can't have everything.

 

[Priscilla]

On the pond of life out there are plenty of press ganged family members being held reluctantly captive aboard yachts called “Dads Dream“ or something similar.
These vessels come in a potpourri of variations some off the shelf/ store brought, some home built examples of males giving birth to buoyant containers that did actually float on launching somewhere approximately close to an estimated waterline.
I have over my life met many fascinatingly extraordinary people more so at sea than on land and it’s the one most significant gaps in my life since we parted with our old log of wood and relocated to the ranch so I have had to go into therapy…

 

[Priscilla]

Waterfront property when we relocated was so damned expensive and I knew if I did go that extra financial mile to do so I would pine for another yacht constantly.
My wife caught me on the barn roof one day and asked what I was doing up there I replied just doing a post purchase roof inspection dearie…

 

[accnick]

Paul,

For sure, they would be fine with that, and would likely come up for a visit. It very well may play-out that way.

But...

Although I thoroughly enjoy sailing or being under way alone, as soon as the anchor goes down I pine for the company of someone close, to share the experience.

I've done up to about a week aboard by myself and found the only thing that works is to just keep moving.

That's fine for an ocean crossing, but is no way to do the inside passage.

It's all good. I've been dealt I pretty good hand. Can't have everything.

Sometimes, the building process is the goal. Sometimes, it's the sailing.

If you're really, really lucky, it's both.

Despite everything, I feel I'm a very lucky man.

 

[he b gb]

Waterfront property when we relocated was so damned expensive and I knew if I did go that extra financial mile to do so I would pine for another yacht constantly.
My wife caught me on the barn roof one day and asked what I was doing up there I replied just doing a post purchase roof inspection dearie…
View attachment 583647

HaHa, is that an estuary I can see in the distance?

 

[Panope]

Sometimes, the building process is the goal. Sometimes, it's the sailing.

If you're really, really lucky, it's both.

Despite everything, I feel I'm a very lucky man.

Some of my most enjoyable moments happen when a recently completed modification is tested with a positive result.

Just now, I am replacing my rudder gudgeon with one that features an extended "cuff" that will have filler plates welded between it and the keel, thereby creating a smooth, gap-free transition to the rudder.

Between this and some other underwater "clean up" details, I might see 0.1 kts of speed increase.

That will make my day!

 

[Gissie]

I was age 6 when my folks (with almost no sailing experience) hatched the plan to build Panope and sail away. I spent a large part of my youth in Panope's belly "helping" my father with the fit-out and dreaming of the adventure.

Although bonafide plans were in place for several years, I can now see that my mother would not have lasted 10 minutes at sea. I reckon she was merely seeking an escape.
A divorce ended up being far more effective.

Fast forward 48 years and I still have not made an ocean passage. While I have no urge to "sell it all" and leave (I like my work shop too much), I would like to make a lazy Summer cruise to Alaska one of these years.

Sadly, my family has no interest in this, so the cruising dreams will die with me.

My experience is there are builders and sailors and they are not often found in the same body.

As for the dream, I was content to leave it as that unless my wife was fully behind the idea. Fortunately one day she said, let's go. I didn't even know what she meant at first.

To many sad couples out where it is the dream for one side only. We tried to stay away from this type as much as possible.

 

[Panope]

To many sad couples out where it is the dream for one side only. We tried to stay away from this type as much as possible.

The couple that inspired my folks (and built a sister ship to Panope) made it as far as Hawaii (from the PNW), where the wife called it quits. Divorce. Boat sold.

Forty years later, the husband told me that he trusted that boat more than any human.

Now THAT is a sad story.

 

[Gissie]

The couple that inspired my folks (and built a sister ship to Panope) made it as far as Hawaii (from the PNW), where the wife called it quits. Divorce. Boat sold.

Forty years later, the husband told me that he trusted that boat more than any human.

Now THAT is a sad story.

There are plenty of good stories, but certainly some sad ones. Try visiting Guam, when I was there it had a bunch of travellers to scared to go on into the non-english speaking world, not brave enough to do the return via the Aleutians. Stuck in limbo.

Always because of a difference in expectations from the outset.

 

[kent_island_sailor]

Before age 6, my experiences were on a varnished wood powerboat in fresh water. Then we got to the Chesapeake and had to have a sailboat. My father bought a Cal 20, told me to dress warm, and we headed off on a cold January day to bring her home. This turned into a beat into the teeth of a blizzard
I was totally hooked then and ever since