Talking with my cat

[Wet Spreaders]

My wife bought a dog. It's cute as a button and made up of a mix of stuff that includes bichon, poodle and a couple of other things. It was also expensive. To SWMBO, she is a princess and a handbag dog, ladies companion. In reality, it's just a "mutt with marketing", which wifey bit on hard.

My new and highly amusing way to torture my wife right now is to take muttley for a walk and make sure that it comes back filthy. Pond scum and cowshit filthy. Caked on and dried out, or wet and oozy. Lathered and layered. Mutley has a great time chasing turkies and ducks, fetching sticks out of the river and rolling in dead seaguls. Wifey flies off the handle and spends a couple of hours with doggy soaps, lavendar tangle spray, coarse brushes, fine combs, special doggy hairdryer etc. But there are two days in each weekend!

 

[Diarmuid]

I'm not seeing any bird parts in that nest....

Every sensible bird is in Mexico right now. Crows stick around all winter. Horned larks are six weeks out; first to return, in late February. They are ground birds, & easy snacking if they lurk too close to the house.

Rodents are all sleeping too. Only prey opp for kitty is one massive jackrabbit that would kick her ass and she knows it. So she naps by the fire.

 

[silent bob]

As the live in servant to 3 cats and 2 dogs, all thoroughly spoiled, I hear you brother! I talk to my animal masters all the time.

Keith Richards once got a turtle for his birthday. He asked: "How old will it get". They told him: "About 300 years". He said: "Now you see why I'm against it, you get attached to such an animal and then it dies."

 

[Mrleft8]

The cat brought me a ground squirrel today, and promptly jumped on the windowsill and demanded food.
I said "Well, you just killed that, why don't you eat it? It would cut down on the weekly grocery bill."
She looked at me, licked her paws and said: "Go ahead. You take the first bite. I killed it. If you cook it, and maybe put a little marinara sauce and butter on it, I might consider it. Otherwise shut up, and feed me."
The dog looked at the squirrel and wagged his tail. grinning at me, he said "I caught that! Yup! I did! I really, really caught that, and gave it to the cat to bring to you! Yup! Yup! That's...... Wait, don't I get a cookie, or something for this?"

 

[SloopJonB]

My wife bought a dog. It's cute as a button and made up of a mix of stuff that includes bichon, poodle and a couple of other things. It was also expensive. To SWMBO, she is a princess and a handbag dog, ladies companion. In reality, it's just a "mutt with marketing", which wifey bit on hard.

My new and highly amusing way to torture my wife right now is to take muttley for a walk and make sure that it comes back filthy. Pond scum and cowshit filthy. Caked on and dried out, or wet and oozy. Lathered and layered. Mutley has a great time chasing turkies and ducks, fetching sticks out of the river and rolling in dead seaguls. Wifey flies off the handle and spends a couple of hours with doggy soaps, lavendar tangle spray, coarse brushes, fine combs, special doggy hairdryer etc. But there are two days in each weekend!

I foresee a long period of impoverished solitude in your future.

 

[Mrleft8]

My neighbor's dog, about the size of a large house cat, loves to come visit my dog (77 Lb. goofball). They run and play and..... All of a sudden the neighbor's dog finds the spot where the cat goes out to shit and piss..... My dog stands and watches as the little mop rubs her face all through the ground, and rolls, and digs up tootsie rolls, and then, full of glee, she leaps in to her daddy's truck, covered in cat shit.
The cat sits on the porch smiling, washes her paws, then her face, and asks for an extra bowl of food, just because.

 

[Fah Kiew Tu]

I foresee a long period of impoverished solitude in your future.

Probably worth it, though.

Then again - accidents happen. If there are no witnesses, there's no problem.

FKT

 

[Ed Lada]

Labs are great dogs but they are very compliant.

Ever since Charlie the black cat arrived a couple of years ago, he had Stanley (yellow) and particularly Bella (chocolate) completely under his control in short order. Now they get together every morning, plotting and scheming.

As you can see Charlie knows exactly how to bring Bella back in line. She's desperately thinking "No Charlie, not the nose again, please not the nose. I'll do anything you want, just not the nose, please!" Stanley is desperately trying to be invisible and hoping Charlie won't discipline him next. I have no idea what Charlie's ultimate plan is but I fear it won't end well for us humans in the house.

Here Stanley and Bella are commiserating, wondering how they got themselves in this situation. Torn between their loyalty to the big guy, yet fear retribution if they don't do what the little guy wants.

Charlie is quietly contemplating an appropriate punishment for such insolence.