The Adventures of Chas from Tas - PHOTO CONTEST!!!

Cement_Shoes

Super Anarchist
6,239
18
A to Z
Drop Bear. said:
Dipshit has no response? I've never seen your name as an owner of a boat.
Dude!

Clearly you have a problem with Clean.

But you just have to admit you fucked up on this "libel" "liable" thing in this thread. Suck it up and move on!

Clean - post the message!
Yes, I have a problem with blowhards.
Impressive. It is a topic started by Ian and featuring Clean, yet you manage to be the stand out asshole. Congrats!

 

Timo42

Super Anarchist
And right on cue, we got a written threat. I'm like nostra-fucking-damus.
So, on the earlier published Clean timeline, we must be number 8 now.

All the big starters flame away.

0. Big talker lurks

1. Big talker starts flinging poo in forum

2. Big talker gets identified

3. Big talker thinks he knows everything that's out there about him

4. Anarchists show him he's wrong

5. Big talker threatens

6. Big talker cries to admin

7. Big talker gets laughed at by admins

8. Big talker departs, usually with poorly spelled promises of 'my lawyer coming to get you'

9. Big talker lurks

10. Big talker posts again under new sock, but stays off the big talker radar.
Nah, we are up to #9, saw him lurking yesterday.

 

LB 15

Cunt
Drop Bear. said:
Exactly. It's hard enough to keep track of all the shitfights going on at the moment. Not to mention juggling sock puppets.

I am pissed off about someone beating me to the Gracie sock. I might even complain to clean myself.
Definitely.

There is surely a sock copyright issue? I was sure you mentioned breathing life into a Gracie puppet.
Yes but someone beat me to it. Well played whoever it is.
 
He is lurking now.

Come on Dubes. time to play with your friends.
He's hard at work playing with himself.
This mean Gracie out of job? No one come by these days, Lord gIANt say any exposure is good exposure...Gracie expose herself to a lot of this so called shit stained monkey but all say have appointment in main bar. Gracie not understand. Why no more midnight stroll?

 

LB 15

Cunt
He is lurking now.

Come on Dubes. time to play with your friends.
He's hard at work playing with himself.
This mean Gracie out of job? No one come by these days, Lord gIANt say any exposure is good exposure...Gracie expose herself to a lot of this so called shit stained monkey but all say have appointment in main bar. Gracie not understand. Why no more midnight stroll?
Did you think you were the only one Gracie? As you say over there, Mr Ian like butterfly. He land on many flower.

Of course most butterflies don't pay their flower...

 
He is lurking now.

Come on Dubes. time to play with your friends.
He's hard at work playing with himself.
This mean Gracie out of job? No one come by these days, Lord gIANt say any exposure is good exposure...Gracie expose herself to a lot of this so called shit stained monkey but all say have appointment in main bar. Gracie not understand. Why no more midnight stroll?
Did you think you were the only one Gracie? As you say over there, Mr Ian like butterfly. He land on many flower.







Of course most butterflies don't pay their flower...
He tell me he want to plant seed in my garden of love...Gracie thinks it worked cos doctor say I got blue waffles growing. Pretty name for flower, hope I can help others grow too

 

mad

Super Anarchist
Ok Clean, Let's move on to the Mac races you've won. Did they win before you, and after you? So what value did you add?

I know all the players.
Isn't there another thread up and running about this to take a shit in?
Why, because the current thread is so informative and focused?
Point of order, this thread is for masturbating monkeys. His Lordship was very specific.

 
Not sure whose sock Gracie is but she's fuking funny!
Gracie want to know what all this talk of socks is. It the slippery little worm thing that say durex? Lord Asshat likes slip on willy when not fallen over but always breaks when catches on warts.

And why he buy the one says Magnum but never fills it up? Makes great balloon target on fridge door. Gracie loves to shoot 40cal pistol at them

 

Monkey

Super Anarchist
10,693
2,322
Ok Clean, Let's move on to the Mac races you've won. Did they win before you, and after you? So what value did you add?

I know all the players.
Isn't there another thread up and running about this to take a shit in?
Why, because the current thread is so informative and focused?
Point of order, this thread is for masturbating monkeys. His Lordship was very specific.
Sorry, I would've joined in earlier, but I was "busy."
 
2,689
0
Anyone know how book sales are going?

A Blast from the Past


I have had another post in the works for about a month or so, involving an adventure I recently had 0n the Sailing Anarchy website. The working title is ‘Tits’ and it doesn’t just just refer to the inhabitants of that slime-encrusted, flea-bitten, semen-stained masturbating monkey-pit that comprises the Sailing Anarchy Forums. However, the more I work on it the more I realise a lot of is is (Ahem) inappropriate.

The main Sailing Anarchy website is a useful and informative Yotty site with lots of interesting news. I have followed it on and off for years, but had never been onto the Forums.

I originally went onto the main SA Forum looking for an asshole who did some damage to some friends of mine by posting a nasty and anonymous slander aimed at RHKYC and two of its finest pillars, both friends of mine. I suppose at this point I should mention that I do a little pro-bono private dickery in my spare time to spell the boredom of retirement – and I am good at it.

A couple of the attacks were verbal/in writing and not of much consequence, but annoying, and very malicious. One however, although I hadn’t connected it at the time, was physical and resulted in 5 days in hospital and a month on crutches for a very good mate. Semi-expertly executed (perhaps planned or merely expedient) by an asshole with advanced combat training (a former Royal Marine although a fat out-of-shape dickhead these days) and clearly intended to elicit a violent response which would have ruined my mate’s life. And which he thankfully has grown up enough to forgo at the time.

And I found the prick, although the should-be interested parties in authority don’t want to know.

Never mind, Karma will out and he’ll get his and if the vic can be persuaded to testify I reckon it’s good for 2 to 3 in Stanley Prison for GBH. I have a very large Police Superintendent pal who is all ears and got a look like my Ma’s old coonhound when I described what happened. The vic is recovering, has other priorities. Does not want to pursue at this time.

I’ve done my bit, not my call, the vic is a grown-up and can make up his own mind. I think the statute of limitations is seven years. My copper pal retires in three. Lots of time. He’s told me he’s put the SDU onto keeping an eye on the asshole. So asshole, if you are reading this, which I expect you are, better watch your ass. And get ready to kiss it goodbye.

Anyway, back to tits. While I was sleuthing on SA, I thought, ‘hey, a sailing forum, what a great place to advertise my old pal Chas from Tas’s book’.

So I started a thread to pump the book, then a second to ask for good photos of Chas (who is one of the best known sailors on the planet). It went swimmingly for about 15 minutes. However, my debut postings on the SA Forum offended some strange cultural norms which I was not aware of when I signed up. About a dozen posts in about Chas’ book, I got a message which I found rather rude:

fuck off newb

show us da tits

buy an ad

I rather took offense at that, and after the chap had repeated it three or four times, I got quite angry. So since everyone on the forum uses pseudonyms (except a very few people including me), I started another thread in this guy’s name and put out a bounty on him, offering unspecified favours for his identity and location. I figured he must have pissed a lot of other people off too and someone would shop him.

Lawsy me! That did not go down well. The forum erupted and people from all over the planet started hurling abuse at me, which I admit I quite enjoyed. At least until about 30 posts later when another denizen of that weird place explained that the offending message was considered a polite traditional greeting for a new poster on the forum and that etiquette demanded I post a picture of some nice boobies and, if I was selling something, buy an ad. One guy hinted what I had to do by posting this, but I was too thick to get it until my nose was rubbed in it.

boobies

Oops.

I apologised profusely and posted this:

loren-mansfield2

But the abuse continued, and the number of hits on the threads started to climb dramatically as I expertly and wittily fielded all the insults and hurled them back at the trolls.

I would have walked away, but as PT Barnum once reportedly said, ‘There is no such thing as bad publicity’, and just as the hit rate on the SA Forum climbed so did the hits on the Chas from Tas page.

So I stayed on the Forum and hurled shit at the masturbating monkeys for about six weeks. At one stage, several of the more intelligent monkeys found my LinkedIn profile and debated whether or not to e-mail the real Ian Dubin about the guy who was impersonating him on SA. It got very surreal. I made a few friends, some of them interested in helping my detective quest with bizarre results. One guy from Oz invented a strange narrative claiming I had ravished his mother 30 years ago and he was my son. A lot of it was very funny but there was an undertone of really nasty stuff from some. I’ll post some of the good bits one of these days.

In any event, I got death threats from five continents and there were attempts to hack my Google account from Taipei and Berlin. All good fun. Eventually, the noise from the forum started upsetting real-world people whose opinions matter to me and I bailed out, to considerable wailing and gnashing of teeth from the many fans who were enjoying the debacle.

So, my cunning plan worked. My shit-fight with the scrofulous monkeys on SA generated approximately 36,000 hits on Chas’ Facebook page. Not sure how book sales are going. The agent works a 23 hour day and is not inclined to casual communication. I need to check in with her shortly about Phase 2 of the pre-sale campaign,

In the meantime there’s been lots of drama, I have even been in a couple of fights, one for real (a drunken mate who went for me after I tried to stop him hammering his fist on a window). No real harm done although I had sore ribs for a couple of weeks. I wonder what a 64 year old guy is doing getting in fights? I have never started one in my life. It just seems to happen and there I am.

Who knows. Dum vivimus vivamus I guess. It reminded me of the last time anyone actually managed to tag me in the main bar, which was about 20 years ago. She was blonde, it caused enormous hilarity to the assembled Saturday night crowd and I richly deserved it. I’ll share that yarn another time.
I.Dubin

 

poopie pants

Super Anarchist
5,478
2
the Bu
Is this the book he was pimpin?

hello_sailor_book.jpg


 
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