The Book of Jib

swims4USA

Anarchist
Many of you have probably seen this before, but I just got it sent to me and gave me a much needed laugh today and thought I'd pass it along, well worth reading all of it:

Prayer to the Roller Jib
“And on the eighth day God created roller furling, and He saw that it was good." So begins the Book of Jib, a little known book in the Bible, in which God cast His gaze down from the heavens and beheld the labors of the many sailors as they raised and lowered and, with great difficulty, flaked their headsails, always in a grassy area which was supposed to be free of the droppings left by the dogs of Hell but never was found to be so. "God then took pity on the humble workers of the foredeck and inspired His prophets Harken, Schaefer, Hood, and Profurl." To these He gave insight so that they might develop a device that would lessen the burden. For many years did the men of the sea rejoice at their newfound innovation. But soon they forgot that the miracle of roller furling was a gift from God and instead began to believe it of their own making. They added automatic motors, and applied it to the mainsail as well, which constituted a breach of ancient law, the manual hoisting and lowering of the mainsail being a sacrament. They furled sails hither and yon, inside the mast or the boom, trying to hide the shameful practice from the eyes of God. God, being then displeased with the arrogance of man, jammed the furling units, leaving the sails exposed to the gales, which tore at them and made the sailors cry and gnash their teeth. The sailors brought down their tattered rags from aloft, and with heads hung low did take them to the sail maker, whose prices soared higher than the stars in the firmament. And with a mighty shout their checking accounts were laid to waste. The sailors did then beseech redemption. "From this day forward we shall flake our mainsails and mizzens about the boom like men!" And God saw that it was good.

 

European Bloke

Super Anarchist
3,407
826
Many of you have probably seen this before, but I just got it sent to me and gave me a much needed laugh today and thought I'd pass it along, well worth reading all of it:

Prayer to the Roller Jib

“And on the eighth day God created roller furling, and He saw that it was good enough for those who didn't want to go upwind, didn't want to put down their beer to deal with sails and who's wives wouldn't let them keep a pile of headsails below." So begins the Book of Jib, a little known book in the Bible, in which God cast His gaze down from the heavens and beheld the labors of the many sailors as they raised and lowered and, with great difficulty, flaked their headsails, always in a grassy area which was supposed to be free of the droppings left by the dogs of Hell but never was found to be so. "God then took pity on the humble workers of the foredeck and inspired His prophets Harken, Schaefer, Hood, and Profurl." To these He gave insight so that they might develop a device that would lessen the burden. For many years did the men of the sea rejoice at their newfound innovation. But soon they forgot that the miracle of roller furling was a gift from God and instead began to believe it of their own making. They added automatic motors, and applied it to the mainsail as well, which constituted a breach of ancient law, the manual hoisting and lowering of the mainsail being a sacrament. They furled sails hither and yon, inside the mast or the boom, trying to hide the shameful practice from the eyes of God. God, being then displeased with the arrogance of man, jammed the furling units, leaving the sails exposed to the gales, which tore at them and made the sailors cry and gnash their teeth. The sailors brought down their tattered rags from aloft, and with heads hung low did take them to the sail maker, whose prices soared higher than the stars in the firmament. And with a mighty shout their checking accounts were laid to waste. The sailors did then beseech redemption. "From this day forward we shall flake our mainsails and mizzens about the boom like men!" And God saw that it was good.
Fixed ya.

 

sail(plane)

Anarchist
688
106
THANKS FOR THAT! :D

Many of you have probably seen this before, but I just got it sent to me and gave me a much needed laugh today and thought I'd pass it along, well worth reading all of it:

Prayer to the Roller Jib
“And on the eighth day God created roller furling, and He saw that it was good." So begins the Book of Jib, a little known book in the Bible, in which God cast His gaze down from the heavens and beheld the labors of the many sailors as they raised and lowered and, with great difficulty, flaked their headsails, always in a grassy area which was supposed to be free of the droppings left by the dogs of Hell but never was found to be so. "God then took pity on the humble workers of the foredeck and inspired His prophets Harken, Schaefer, Hood, and Profurl." To these He gave insight so that they might develop a device that would lessen the burden. For many years did the men of the sea rejoice at their newfound innovation. But soon they forgot that the miracle of roller furling was a gift from God and instead began to believe it of their own making. They added automatic motors, and applied it to the mainsail as well, which constituted a breach of ancient law, the manual hoisting and lowering of the mainsail being a sacrament. They furled sails hither and yon, inside the mast or the boom, trying to hide the shameful practice from the eyes of God. God, being then displeased with the arrogance of man, jammed the furling units, leaving the sails exposed to the gales, which tore at them and made the sailors cry and gnash their teeth. The sailors brought down their tattered rags from aloft, and with heads hung low did take them to the sail maker, whose prices soared higher than the stars in the firmament. And with a mighty shout their checking accounts were laid to waste. The sailors did then beseech redemption. "From this day forward we shall flake our mainsails and mizzens about the boom like men!" And God saw that it was good.
 




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