the hurt locker

Editor

Editor

Administrator
Staff member
6,704
1,137
carlsbad
Oh, to be a fly on the wall for this little post race chat between Jimmy Spithill and Russell Coutts after Oracle quit racing. How do you think that conversation started? And ended?

Russell: "What in the holy fuck was that?!"

Jimmy: "Fuck if I know."

Russell: "Should we sack Kostecki?"

Jimmy: "Fuck if I know."

Russell: "I gotta bring something to Larry!"

Jimmy: "Good fucking luck with that, mate."

Let's see your conversation. Best three get the new SA hat and stickers...

the hurt locker.png

 
A

amolitor

Super Anarchist
1,446
1
Russell: SHEEPFUCKER!
Jimmy: Sheepfucker.

Russell: Sheepfucker?

Jimmy: Sheepfucker.

Russell: Fucking sheepfucker!

Jimmy: Sheepfucking Sheep-fucker.

...

Russell: Sheepfucker.

Jimmy: Sheepfucker.

 
J

jhc

Super Anarchist
2,447
282
JS: Hey, nice watch!

RC: It's an Omega, just got it.

JS: Omega! OMG, (in shock) It's happening!

RS: Jimmy, you're young, but smart, you should have known this much.

JS: God, I wish I could ditch this swag!

RC: You just need to stay a step ahead of the curve.

JS: Russel, you've been like a father to me... so F**ck you!

RC: You must return to your motherland, grasshopper, and begin again.

JS: Are you suggesting....NATIONALISM!

RC: ...cunning, and guile wins over youth and enthusiasm, get with the program.

JS: I can't go back, NOOOO!

RC: Get off my boat before I have to call Ben.

JS: I knew you liked him best!

RC: (on the phone) Ben, yeah, I got an issue here...

 
S

Skirtchaser

New member
30
0
Jimmy: Hey Russell. How's it going?

Russell: Good. Just watching cricket on the other channel. Hang on a second... Larry wants to say hi.

Larry: Hey Jimmy. After watching all those great Napa commercials I thought I'd pay them a visit. Nice place. Good buzz here. How'd it go today?

Jimmy: (Exacerbated) WTF?!? We put in all this time and you don't even bother to watch?

Larry: Foregone conclusion, friend. I've got Russell tyring to work dilomatic relations to get back on TNZ and my stock is in the shitter. Really nothing left to make changes so we thought we do something else. Sorry.

Jimmy: (understanding now) Makes sense. Do I still get my bonus?

Larry: Sure. Stock OK?

Jimmy: Ah, sure. Now, what do we do about the remainder of this event?

Larry: Whatever continues to distract from the cheating issue... Bring beer on the boat? Pull some skiers? That'll get 'em all up in a frenzy! Maybe get the Kiwi's to join?

Jimmy: Will do. Can you buy for us? People around here are no longer serving our team.

Larry: (silence)

Jimmy: Larry?

Larry: Ask Dalton.

 
Nutrunner Dorchester

Nutrunner Dorchester

New member
12
13
San Francisco
Spithill: Didja see my bitchin' start?

Russell: I've killed for less.....

Spithill: I think the crew spent too much time last night at the tenderloin sucking buffalo milk...

Russell: FUCK! And what spaz-fingered blow-hole tripped the leeward board dump switch on the 2nd jibe?

Spithill: Uh... I did luff em' up to the seagull shit at the 1st mark ? Ain't I sumthin?

Russell: But who in Lucifer's name spins the Choir-Boy at the leeward brothel like a Baptist whore with a $100 donation?

Spithill: It was the damned Slingsby again, Boss, ain't I something?

 
L

logica38

New member
1
0
JS - So I saved us from screwing up infront of the home crowd by the pulling the 2nd race

RC- WTF you embarrassed us even f in more

JS - Oh shit

RC - on a positive side you have made Ben Angry and you didn't want to do that !

JS - So I am demoted?

RC - Yes you get to race the team Finn in the next Olympics if you qualify

JS - Oh shit, I had better learn how to right the boat when I capsize

RC - not with our F in Boat

 
LotsO'Knots

LotsO'Knots

Member
189
22
Newport, RI
RC: Did you forget that they schedule another one of those press conferences for tomorrow"

JS: Uuhh.. Shit

RC: Yeah shit is right. Forget Ellison, you're gonna have to answer to THE FUCKING WORLD

JS: Uuhhh yeah boss, how bout we let Ainsley take that one - he could use the exposure

RC: OK JImmy sure thing

JS: really?

RC: NO FUCKTARD OF COURSE NOT

JS: DO I gotta sit next to Barker again?

RC: I'll see what I can do about that

JS: Yeah he's a bit mean and scary

RC: Yeah...

 
S

ssi

Member
380
0
Jimmy, your momma called, she wants you to go back.

No, I am still young, not there, not again!

Oh yeah, Jimmy, time to start all over again, regroup, get a fresh start.

 
Renegade26

Renegade26

New member
11
0
Chicago
JS: Foiling tacks eh?

RC: Not our best play.

JS: Always another race mate.

RC: We're pretty fucked mate

JS: I reckon John is shitting his pants right about now.

RC: I reckon Ellison is gonna pick a new sport.

 
N

nolvad

New member
7
0
JS: you recon its those spoliers?

RC: I don't know, do you think they are producing lift or down force?

JS: [shrug]

RC: either way we're fucked.

JS: maybe we should ask Artemis for help....

 
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scratch01

scratch01

New member
15
0
R-100k if u miss the start

J- Ok!

R- 200K if u tack 2 times for nothing.

J-Ok!

R-300K if you slow the boat to 4 knots and not cover at the mark

J-OkiDoki!

J-Its pay time Russ$

 
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starsinker

starsinker

Member
165
14
Vancouver
Russell - What do you want now Jimmy?

Jimmy - I gotta take a dump Russ.

Russell - Haven't you heard of the 'pre-race dump' Jimmy? Even beer can sailors take one before they go sailing.

Jimmy - Yeah well tell that to Kostecki, he just took one in his wetgear around the leeward mark!

 
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I

ilnadi

New member
9
0
RC: WTF Happened?

JS: I had a great start, nailed 'em at mark 1, yada yada, we lost

RC: You yada yada'd the best part!

JS: No, I mentioned the start

 
~HHN92~

~HHN92~

Super Anarchist
5,137
58
RC: You pulled the card!!!!

JS: I pulled the card????

RC: You pulled the card!!!!

JS: I pulled the card????

RC: You pulled the card!!!

JS: I won the start!!!!

RC: You pulled the card????

 
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