What is the most pain you have ever felt

[Titilingus]

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[Marty Gingras]

I am so upset right now to have learnt that my dear friend killed themselves this week. All the others have killed themselves in the last few years. That for me the the real pain, losing so many friends and trying to stay alive. This shit grinds you down. It means I am the only one left out of my group, and I'm not proud of that. I am so sad and in tears, but trying to hang on.

Hang in.

It's a real problem that people remember terrible events. 'Memory alteration' seems like it has a lot of potential to moderate really bad memories. Hope you are getting help from experts.

 

[Titilingus]

Hang in.

It's a real problem that people remember terrible events. 'Memory alteration' seems like it has a lot of potential to moderate really bad memories. Hope you are getting help from experts.

God bless ya, you're a good person, I'm fine. I'm just trying to figure out why everyone who experienced what I did is dead, and why I have lost so many good friends. I have help from experts, but hose experts have never been in combat. I'm just a little underwhelmed that the expert advice did not help my friends.

 

[Titilingus]

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[Titilingus]

Sory, I'm upset.

 

[Autonomous]

Speak your mind. I don't have any magic words for you but I can listen.

 

[Autonomous]

If you can, spill your guts if it feels right.

Sometimes, when I've had a snoot full, I'll drop some hints of my journey. I'll come back the next day and delete what I posted but it seemed to help if only a small amount.

 

[Cruisin Loser]

Why is it that the people in your life kill themselves??

My father killed himself when I was 15. I won’t pretend to know your other hurts, but I know this one. For 5 years not a day went by that I didn’t consider it. Remember, this is not YOUR fault.

You need to live. For them. You have to do what they couldn’t. Unfair? Yes. But it’s up to you to live, and love, and cry, and experience things on their behalf. Because they can’t anymore.

And you have to come to Maine and sail Restive. For you and for them. I’ll pay airfare for you and the GF.

 

[Titilingus]

If you can, spill your guts if it feels right.

Sometimes, when I've had a snoot full, I'll drop some hints of my journey. I'll come back the next day and delete what I posted but it seemed to help if only a small amount.

Thank you, having a bad day having discovered my recent friend's funeral, learnt I'm the only one left out of my group. That I wouldn't care about, because, who am I? My pain is that these men have wives and children, but still decided to kill themselves.
you are more than welcome to talk here, you KNOW that I understand your thoughts and pain,
God Bless

 

[Titilingus]

My father killed himself when I was 15. I won’t pretend to know your other hurts, but I know this one. For 5 years not a day went by that I didn’t consider it. Remember, this is not YOUR fault.

You need to live. For them. You have to do what they couldn’t. Unfair? Yes. But it’s up to you to live, and love, and cry, and experience things on their behalf. Because they can’t anymore.

And you have to come to Maine and sail Restive. For you and for them. I’ll pay airfare for you and the GF.

Thank you for your comment, sorry but I didn't mean to cause a problem, just upset today due to friend's death. You are a gentleman and a scholar, thank you for your offer. I am so sorry to hear about your your father's death from suicide, I really mean it, it must have had devastating consequences for you and your family.
Thank you for saying it's not my fault. I know this, but evidence does point to extreme suicide rate amongst my friends, I am alive and trying to hang on, I am really hanging on, sometimes with fingernails.
it's so sad that all of my friends have killed themselves, it seems to be a pattern of not being able to cope with life outside of intense situations. The one's that I thought were "sound" just did it, with no warning to anyone else, so sad.
I'm ok, I promised to not "off" myself, it's been really hard keeping my promise, but I've done it and will continue to do it. I have a beautiful lady whom I love very much and the main thing is I know how much harm it would cause to everyone else.
You're a kind soul and I apologies if I caused you concern,
Kind Regards
Rich

 

[Titilingus]

If you can, spill your guts if it feels right.

Sometimes, when I've had a snoot full, I'll drop some hints of my journey. I'll come back the next day and delete what I posted but it seemed to help if only a small amount.

Good for you, it's good to talk. Our journey's are important, there's not many of us left, we need to stick together. Would be good to hear what you have to say

 

[Point Break]

God bless ya, you're a good person, I'm fine. I'm just trying to figure out why everyone who experienced what I did is dead, and why I have lost so many good friends. I have help from experts, but hose experts have never been in combat. I'm just a little underwhelmed that the expert advice did not help my friends.

Well……lost more than one friends and coworkers and recently a family member. Seen lots in my line of work and lots of families and friends in the immediate aftermath including the discovery. I won’t bore you with the stories but one thing I know.

You will never understand.

That moment is unfathomable and tragic. Talking about it helps work through the acceptance of it, but never provides an epiphany of insight into the decision.

Seek to accept not understand. Fair winds.

 

[Autonomous]

I can't - don't want to understand a buddy melting in my arms and the other levels of hell that sort of environment has to offer.